CHAPTER TWELVE
‘
M
ICHEL
,
YOU
’
VE
GOT
to believe that Chantal will get the best attention up here at the farm with Julia and me.’
Bernard was doing his best to convince Michel, his colleague and friend at the hospital, that they only had Chantal’s best interests at heart.
Chantal lay back against her pillows, trying to stay calm. She was merely the patient and had no say in her treatment apparently. The argument was purely academic now anyway. Bernard had brought her up to the farm to be with Julia. As far as Chantal was concerned, she was here now and here she was going to stay.
She’d assumed that Pierre would have informed Michel but apparently he’d been in Theatre and the message hadn’t got through to him. As soon as he’d got Pierre’s message Michel had come racing up to the farm to enquire what was going on.
She remembered that when she had been in the obstetrics side ward Michel had suggested it would be safer for her to move in with him. She knew he was naturally feeling protective of her, but was that enough for her to give up her independence? His main concern was obviously for the welfare of his babies. She was merely the vessel that was carrying them.
A couple of hours ago she’d listened to Bernard convincing Pierre that being with Julia and himself at the farm would be the best scenario for their patient. They were all doctors so there would be no shortage of medical attention if Chantal started to bleed again. It would also help her to be with her cousin, away from hospital in the healthy surroundings of the farm amongst the hills.
Julia decided it was her turn to up speak up. ‘I entirely agree that it’s better Chantal is here with family, rather than spending her time resting—or rather, trying to rest—in the hospital. Michel, you’re welcome to come and stay here any time you like. Consider yourself part of the family now that you and Chantal are expecting twins together. And if I’m totally honest, as I’m now nearing the conclusion of my pregnancy I would really like my cousin to be here with me.’
Michel reached for Chantal’s hand. ‘What do you want, Chantal?’
At last they were all going to listen to her opinion. ‘I’m grateful to Bernard that he persuaded Pierre to let me out of hospital to be here with Julia. That’s exactly what I want.’
* * *
Michel leaned forward and drew her into his arms as Bernard and Julia left them to be alone together.
‘So long as this is best for the babies and you, I’m happy,’ he said gently.
She found the feeling of his arms holding her was very comforting. It was also stirring up memories of that night when they’d made the babies together.
He looked into her eyes. She loved the sincere expression in his. He was a good man, a sexy, alluring man. She was lucky to be in a partnership with him, even if he was there only because of the babies. Right now she could imagine it was for real but she had to face the facts of their unorthodox liaison. She listened to his deeply caring voice as he tried to reassure her that all would be well.
Michel drew her closer in his arms. ‘I’ll come to see you every day. Pierre thinks you’ll be fine if you have complete rest for a couple of weeks. If you’d taken up my suggestion to move into my house I could have arranged for you to be nursed at home in your own room. I could have employed a trained nurse and also taken some time off to take care of you. I’ve already made enquiries at a reputable agency about employing a trained nurse to help you at home in the prenatal and postnatal stages.’
‘You’re very kind, Michel, but I like being with family here. It’s more relaxing for me, more homely. Julia and I grew up together like sisters.’
Whenever Michel spoke about his home, that magnificent house overlooking the bay of St Martin, she felt worried. Events were moving too fast for her. She was being carried along on a tidal wave with little control over events. She was still overjoyed at the thought that she was carrying twins but apprehensive about all the trappings of the unusual parenthood that went with it.
‘If you’re happy to be here at the farm with Bernard and Julia then I’ll stop worrying about you.’
She moved in his arms. His lips brushed hers tentatively as if he wasn’t sure she would welcome him. She felt a rush of sensual excitement at the touch of his lips but he was already pulling away before she could respond.
She remained still in his arms, moved by the expression of affection on his handsome face. She told herself he loved the babies, not her. The love of his life would always be Maxine.
‘Chantal, I’ve been so worried about you and the babies,’ he said huskily.
She remained silent as she tried to make sense of her confused thoughts. ‘Michel, it’s been traumatic for both of us, believing that we might lose our babies.’
‘And I was terrified I might lose you when you first started to bleed. Until the bleeding stopped I couldn’t bear to be away from you.’
He broke off, not wanting to upset Chantal with the thoughts that had plagued him. He’d reviewed all the rare cases he’d witnessed during his career. To lose someone you really cared about was the worst thing that could happen to anyone.
‘Michel, we’re both in a highly emotional state at the moment. Once I’m fit again we’ll review our future plans for the babies, get ourselves back on course with our original plan. Make it work.’
He stood up. ‘Of course the plan will work.’ He spoke decisively but he realised that his emotions were changing all the time. The babies were at the forefront of his mind but so was their mother, this wonderful woman for whom he felt such strong affection. But he knew he mustn’t question their original plan for non-commitment to each other. Chantal valued her independence above everything else.
Chantal also was feeling confused at the strengthening attraction she felt towards him. But these strong feelings she felt for him now would disappear when life became normal again. She was simply feeling fragile and clingy after her threatened miscarriage.
‘You must rest now,’ he said, in a calm, controlled, almost professional way, the doctor in him regarding what the patient needed most. ‘I’ve got to go back to hospital to see the patient I was operating on when Pierre allowed you to come up here. I’ll come and see you tomorrow, if you’d like me to?’
‘Of course I want you to come and see me!’ She put out her arms as he leaned down towards her. She found herself clinging to him, wishing he would stay, but he was already pulling away, intent on getting back to the hospital where he understood exactly what was going on. Being in this intense, emotional atmosphere was confusing. Would he ever understand what went on inside Chantal’s mind?
Would she be with him long enough for him to find out? She was so beautiful, so very attractive. He’d seen the admiring glances that other men gave when they looked at her. There was nothing to stop her having a relationship with another man in the future. He couldn’t bear that to happen!
Chantal closed her eyes after he’d gone. She heard his footsteps receding on the stairs then the sound of his car engine starting up. What was this yearning to be close to Michel but then finding it impossible to commit herself to him for ever? For ever was a long time and people changed over the years.
She took deep breaths to calm herself. Yes, she should rest for the sake of their babies. She had to stop worrying about the future.
* * *
Michel realised he was driving too fast when he had to brake hard at the hairpin bend halfway down the hill. The lorry coming slowly up the hill veered out of the way at the same time as he did.
He breathed a sigh of relief as he let in the clutch and moved on again, this time more slowly. He hadn’t expected that huge lorry to be taking up more than half the road. But that was no excuse for him being totally wrapped up in his own thoughts.
He reached the bottom of the hill and was still plagued by his dilemma in spite of trying desperately to concentrate on his driving. He was on the straight section of road now that led to the hospital. As he relaxed he couldn’t help his thoughts turning to Chantal again.
He’d never thought he could love another woman after Maxine had died but his feelings for Chantal were now becoming very strong. He hesitated to call it love, still feeling he was being untrue to Maxine’s memory. But was it possible to love two women, one who was here and one who was now a much-loved memory?
He turned into the hospital gates. He must concentrate on work now. Chantal was staying for two weeks with Julia and Bernard and would be well cared for. He must remain as unemotional as he could so that her convalescence would be successful.
* * *
Julia came into her room next morning soon after Chantal had woken up. Waiting outside the half-open door, she could see Bernard and Philippe.
‘I know it’s early for visitors but Philippe so wanted to see you before he went to school and Bernard is waiting to drive him there.’
‘Philippe!’
Chantal was very fond of her step-nephew, who came across to give his favourite aunt a kiss.
She remarked on how tall he was now.
‘I’m seven,’ he told her proudly. ‘And I’m going on an expedition today with my class. It’s still summer holidays but our class are old enough to go on a geography field trip.’
He chatted on excitedly about the day ahead.
Marianne arrived, carrying a breakfast tray.
‘We’ll have to go now, Philippe,’ Bernard told his son. ‘Mustn’t miss the coach.’
* * *
‘I’m afraid it’s decaf coffee,’ Julia told her cousin as she lowered herself into a large armchair. ‘Bernard doesn’t approve of real coffee during pregnancy. Once I’ve delivered this precious baby and breastfed him for a few months I can please myself again.’
‘So it’s a boy?’
‘Yes, I’m carrying a boy. But don’t tell Philippe because he’ll expect to be able to play with him from day one. I’m leaving the good news as a surprise.’
‘They’re bossy, aren’t they?’ Chantal remarked as she took a sip of the decaf coffee, which was generously laced with hot milk.
Julia shifted herself in the armchair as she tried to get comfortable.
‘Do you mean expectant fathers in general or just ours?’
Chantal smiled. ‘Probably just ours. I think it’s because they’re both doctors and know all about what’s best for the patient.’
‘Or
think
they do,’ her cousin put in dryly, handing Julia a warm croissant on a plate. ‘Here you go. Try not to make as many crumbs in the bed as you usually do.’
They were both giggling now, as they’d done so many times when they’d been small.
‘Chantal, I used to think you deliberately made a mess of your breakfast so that you could get some attention from whichever mother was in charge at the time.’
‘You’re probably right. When both mothers were chatting the whole time I had to do something to be noticed.’
Julia finished her croissant first and reached for another one. ‘I’m glad you’ve found a good man this time, after what you went through last time. I think you and Michel make an ideal couple.’
Chantal put the remains of her croissant on the plate. ‘We’re not really a couple, you know, not in the conventional sense.’
‘Well, you could have fooled me! So how did you get pregnant, by mail order?’
‘Mmm, we had a night of wild passionate love.’ Chantal lay back against the pillows as the wonderful memories of that night came flooding back to her. ‘It was the most wonderful experience I’ve ever lived through.’
Julia remained silent for a few moments. ‘So, you’re in love, aren’t you?’
‘Julia, I honestly don’t know. I was so traumatised after Jacques deceived me I promised myself I would never give myself to another man as long as I lived. Once you commit to someone you open yourself up to being vulnerable and I don’t want that.’
‘But Michel isn’t like Jacques, Chantal. He’s a good man, honest, caring and very sexy, impossibly handsome! You couldn’t have anyone better in your life. And what’s most important, I can tell he adores you.’
‘But how do I know that’s not simply because I’m carrying his babies? Love, adoration, call it what you like, is an impossible emotion to understand. How do I know that because he’s affectionate towards me that it’s true love? And even if it is love, how do I know his love will stand the test of time?’
Julia put down her coffee cup and became deadly serious. ‘You don’t know. Chantal; you’ve got to trust your instincts and go with the flow. Life changes all the time.
‘Last September you set yourself cast-iron rules that would stop you being hurt in the future. But you hadn’t met Michel then. You’ve got to be more flexible. Take life as it comes. Adapt yourself to this new situation you’re in. I had to make new decisions about life when Bernard and I were sorting out our differences and I’ve never been happier.’
Chantal swallowed hard. ‘But I’m so confused.’
‘So was I, but you’ve got to make a decision about your relationship soon. If Michel doesn’t know how you feel about him he may stick to the idea of a partnership for the sake of the babies. Don’t let that happen! Once you totally commit yourself you’ll know that was the right course of action. You’ll find a way to make it work. Believe me, Chantal, you will.’
* * *
The next few days were passing very quickly and Chantal could feel herself getting stronger. Pierre came out to see her a couple of times and phoned every day to check on how she was. As she’d had no further bleeding during the second week, she was allowed out of bed.
Michel came to see her at some point every day, staying for a couple of hours or longer if he had the time. Chantal found herself looking forward to seeing him. She could feel her heart pounding as he bounded up the stairs, moving swiftly across the room to kiss her. But she sensed he was holding something back as they sat side by side in armchairs by the window.
Julia always came in at some point, knocking on the door before she came in. She didn’t ask questions after Michel had gone. But Chantal had confided in her that she was glad she had time to herself to think about the future between Michel’s visits.