He was helping her up onto the couch now. She gave him a grateful smile for his help and also for being there with her because she suddenly felt scared. She’d had to assume there would be no problems with this pregnancy. But until now there’d been nothing to reassure her.
The nurse was rubbing the gel on her abdomen. At three months pregnant Chantal hadn’t detected any roundness or swelling.
She looked up at the screen above the treatment couch. Sebastian was giving a running commentary as they started the scan. Everything was in its rightful place, no abnormalities.
‘And here it is, the tiny foetus.’
Sebastian couldn’t contain his excitement. He’d never been able to do the first viewing of an unborn baby without feeling it.
Chantal grabbed Michel’s hand. ‘Look, Michel, our baby. Oh, will somebody take a picture, please?’
‘That’s all under control,’ Sebastian told her. ‘We’ll give you a picture to take home when— Hang on a minute...’
‘What’s the matter?’ Michel said, anxiously. ‘Oh, I see! There’s a second foetus, isn’t there?’
‘Yes, there are two of them,’ Sebastian announced solemnly. ‘Congratulations, both of you! You’re expecting twins.’
Chantal stared at the two shapes that were barely discernible on the screen but they were her twin babies, their twin babies. She gripped Michel’s hand more tightly as she turned to look at him. She saw the tears in his eyes beginning to roll down his cheeks as their eyes met. She would never forget this precious moment. For the rest of her life she would remember the moment she’d known for certain that she was going to be a mother.
Michel turned his eyes back to the screen. He needed a private moment to share with those two unborn babies. His love for them was almost too much to bear. And he could feel his admiration and affection for the mother of his children strengthening. As he watched these living babies that they’d made together he felt a strong bond growing between them. A powerful emotion was challenging all his previous ideas.
CHAPTER TEN
H
E
REACHED
FOR
her hand across the table. She smiled as his fingers curled around hers. Watching the scan of their babies that afternoon had been a truly moving experience for her and she knew Michel had felt exactly the same. Probably more so, from his emotional reaction. He was a real softie at heart, an absolute pussy cat. She couldn’t have believed when she’d first met him in February that he could change so much when she got to know him.
She realised she’d also changed during the last few months. It was pure determination that made her hold out for her independence. Her feelings for Michel were too deep and complicated to analyse. She didn’t want to give in to the emotional changes that were taking place in her mind. If she’d wanted a more desirable father for her baby it wouldn’t have been possible to find one.
She could hear the little voice that spoke to her constantly in her head as she tried so hard to ignore her strong emotional feelings for Michel. Why was she still so afraid of losing her independence? Michel wasn’t like Jacques. Every instinct she had was telling her that he was totally honest. She could depend on him one hundred per cent in any situation. But Michel’s whole concern was to become a father. No one could replace Maxine. He was holding her hand now out of gratitude that she’d made fatherhood possible for him.
* * *
As Michel continued to hold Chantal’s hand he was also thinking about the scan of their babies that afternoon. The strong emotions that had moved him as he’d seen them on screen. He could feel the pain of losing Maxine fading in the face of new life and found that he was becoming more and more caught up in his feelings for Chantal.
‘Are you OK, Michel?’
He smiled at her. ‘I’m fine. Never better. I think I’m overwhelmed by the scan of our babies this afternoon. I can’t stop thinking about it.’
He stopped himself from becoming too effusive. He mustn’t get carried away while his emotions were so difficult to understand.
He signalled for the bill. ‘We shouldn’t stay out too late. It’s been a long day for you.’
‘And you,’ she said, with a wry smile.
‘Yes, but I’m not...sorry. Am I being too concerned about you?’
‘I’m getting used to it and finding it very charming. Outside of working hours, that is.’
‘I think you should take the morning off tomorrow. No, hear me out.’ He avoided telling her it was an order, aware that she disliked the word. ‘In fact, I’m going to insist and authorise the whole day off for you.’
As they walked outside to the car she didn’t demur. She
was
feeling tired. and Michel was quite right. She should take care of herself.
He didn’t start the car immediately but simply leaned across and put his arm on the back of her seat. ‘I hope you approved of my choice of restaurant tonight?’
‘Very smart. Expensive, I should imagine.’
‘Nothing too good for the mother of my children.’
‘And easier to get to than the beach café.’
He smiled down into her eyes. ‘You might be too heavy for me to carry over the sand! Joking aside, you don’t look any different. Hard to believe there are two babies in there.’
‘It was like a miracle.’
As they sat very still, both engrossed in their own thoughts, Michel could feel the emotional rapport growing between them.
‘I’ve got a proposition to put to you,’ he said gently. ‘I’d like you to come back home with me tonight so that I can show you the changes I’ve made since I knew I was going to be a father. I’ve prepared a bedroom that will be yours to use whenever you want to use it. There’s another room beside it that we can use as a nursery. Obviously we’ll need to employ a trained nurse to take care of our babies if you choose to go back to work.’
‘Michel, I really haven’t thought so far ahead.’ She paused as she saw the disappointed expression on his face. ‘Let’s discuss that another time, shall we? But I’d love to go back to your house to see the changes you’ve made,’ she added hastily, so as not to hurt his feelings.
Suddenly she felt that events were going too quickly for her. It had only been a few weeks ago that she’d agreed to have a baby with Michel, even though she’d only known him for a short time and that had been as colleagues.
Now she had two babies on the way, which was wonderful, but the trappings that inevitably went with parenthood had all got to be finalised in the next few months. She would try to take it one step at a time. Michel’s endless enthusiasm was great to witness but exhausting when he tried to rush her along with him.
She made allowances for the fact that as the director of Emergency he had to think on his feet, make split-second life-and-death decisions. He was perfect in his professional work.
But domestic life wasn’t like that. At least, not in her experience. Were they really going to be compatible during the long years of parenthood ahead of them?
As he started the engine he knew he’d only told her half of what was in his mind. ‘Of course, if you prefer to go back to your poky little room in the medics’ quarters, spend your off duty confined within those four small walls...’
She gave him a deliberately whimsical smile ‘OK, I’ve got the message. I must say it’s very tempting.’
Michel smiled happily. So far so good. As he changed gear to go up the hill he was already planning ahead what he should say. If she approved of the room he’d prepared, would she give him an answer to the question that was uppermost in his mind? He didn’t want her to feel she was losing her independence so he must reassure her he would give her space in their new situation together.
* * *
‘It’s a lovely room, Michel.’
‘I’m glad you like it.’
He walked across and pushed open a door that led through to a smaller room, which was completely devoid of furniture.
‘I had all the furniture taken out because I thought this could be the nursery. And now we know we’re going to have twins you can choose their cots and the furniture you would like to go in here. There’s a baby furniture shop in St Martin but maybe you’d prefer to go up to Paris to select what’s needed? If I’m honest...’
He took a deep breath. ‘It would be a great relief if you’d move in here. I would know you and the babies were being well cared for. You’d get away from hospital and have more space and comfort. We could make plans for the future. And when the babies were born you would be used to the house. What do you say?’
Her mind was spinning with the enormity of this new situation. Michel was being very generous and considerate but his main concern was the welfare of his babies. As she’d passed the photos in the hall on her way up here she’d known she mustn’t commit herself to any situation that could result in losing her independence to a man who was in love with someone else. She hadn’t known that Jacques had a wife. This time she knew where Michel’s heart lay and she couldn’t compete with a ghost.
‘To be honest, Michel, I’m too tired to think about anything except sleep tonight. So if you don’t mind...’
His brow furrowed. ‘Of course you must rest now. I had the bed made up in your room because I knew you’d be tired. I’ll be right next door if you need anything.’
On impulse she turned to hold out her arms towards him. He’d gone to so much trouble. He was prepared to pander to her every whim.
‘Thank you, Michel,’ she whispered, her voice barely discernible as she clung to him, unable to cope with the conflicting emotions that were running through her.
He could feel her body quivering as they stood together. It was all he could do not to scoop her up into his arms and carry her to his bed, to make love to her all night as he’d done the night their precious babies were conceived. But wonderful as that would be, it wouldn’t solve the problem of their future together.
She pulled herself away from his warm embrace, not allowing herself to respond to the feelings she’d had as he’d held her close.
‘Goodnight, Michel.’
He bent his head and gave her a brief kiss before turning away and leaving the room.
* * *
It was ages before he could sleep. He put on his bedside light and plumped up his pillows so he could lie back and read if he couldn’t sleep. He could check on the report he was writing for tomorrow’s board meeting.
He tried to concentrate but he couldn’t as his thoughts turned inevitably back to Chantal.
He got out of bed and padded barefoot over to the window that led to the balcony. He pulled his robe around him. It felt decidedly chilly out there in the early hours of the morning. Everything was supposed to seem more difficult before the dawn. That was certainly true of his thoughts about their complicated relationship. He should be the happiest man alive knowing that he was soon to be father of twins. And yet he couldn’t help wanting to have Chantal close by him. He enjoyed being with her.
He hoped she was warm enough in the room next door. Of course she was! She would be fast asleep, tucked up in the new bed.
Was he moving things along too fast? Was that why she seemed so far away from him at times, wrapped up in her own thoughts? Should he have consulted her first before building the little nest for their babies?
* * *
Chantal had lain awake after Michel had left her. The idea of having her own room in his house, complete with nursery for their babies, was very tempting. It was what Michel wanted. She thought of the plans they’d drawn up at the beginning of their unconventional scheme. Parenthood had just been a word then. Now it was a reality. It was a lifelong commitment. She’d known that from the beginning but she hadn’t thought it through.
She had to admit that if she wanted a lifelong commitment then Michel was the man she would choose. It was the institution of being tied to another person that scared her. But she already had his babies inside her. That was binding enough, wasn’t it? Why fight against the warm feelings she had towards the father of her babies? She couldn’t ignore these disturbingly strong emotional feelings towards him. If she was honest with herself she would say she was in danger of falling in love with him. Maybe she already had but wouldn’t admit it.
She sat up and switched on the light, looking around the room, this beautifully appointed room that Michel had prepared for her. She could be happy here. She could go one further and admit that she would be even happier to be in Michel’s bed at this moment. She felt so safe when she was with him. So sure that the physical desires she felt for him were what she wanted.
But Michel was still in love with Maxine and in any case he’d said he would never commit to a loving relationship that might end prematurely and leave him utterly bereft. She must stop fantasising and consider the facts. She should keep her independence. Stick to the original plan and stop becoming carried away with romantic ideas that weren’t viable. She was going to be a mother to two babies. That was all she wanted.
* * *
She was awakened by the sound of knocking on her door. Michel was carrying a tray. He put it down on the bedside table.
‘I’ve got to leave soon.’
He was being deliberately brusque to counteract his real feelings at the sight of her beautiful long dark hair spread out across the pillow. What he really wanted was for her to hold out her arms and invite him into her bed. Perhaps if he appeared unavailable it would make her want him.
He hovered by the bedside for a few moments until he admitted his reverse psychology wasn’t working on her.
He cleared his throat. ‘Make sure you rest today, Chantal. Call me if there’s something you need, won’t you?’
‘Of course.’ She smiled up at him. ‘Thank you for the coffee and the croissant.’
‘Straight out of the freezer into the high-speed oven. Hope it’s thawed out enough. See you tonight.’
He made a quick exit in case he changed his mind and made suggestions that he might regret.
She reached for her coffee, wondering why he was in such a rush. She’d barely woken up. She’d hoped he might join her for breakfast at least. Looking across at the window, the silky curtains held back at the sides by golden tassels, she remembered that she had a whole day to pamper herself.
First she took a long bath, sprinkling some of the contents of the bottle of scented bath foam liberally into the water. When she finally decided that she should make a move she reached for one of the large fluffy towels.
As she wrapped it round her she had the disturbing feeling that she was in a luxury hotel. All well and good for a visit but could she ever call it home? Was this what she wanted for her babies?
* * *
A couple of weeks passed during which time the crucial question of where she should live when the babies were born was never too far from her mind. She found herself working hard, trying to blot out the doubts that taunted her when she had time to think.
Michel was as attentive as usual towards her when they were working together but in a more professional way. He’d taken the hint that she didn’t want his attentions to overwhelm her. He reined in his anxious feelings that she was working too hard. As he noticed her coming out of a cubicle, having dealt with a patient and now prepared to take on another, he couldn’t help himself from intervening. Swiftly he strode across the floor.
‘Chantal, may I have a word?’
He spoke briefly first to the nurse who was trying to summon Chantal over to her cubicle, telling her he would deal with the problem himself.
‘It’s lunchtime, Chantal,’ he said, quietly.
‘I’m not hungry. I’ll take a break shortly.’
‘You may not be hungry but our babies need you to have regular feeds, don’t they?’
He whispered this, knowing it wouldn’t be well received.
‘And you’re looking particularly tired this morning. Try and have some rest when you’ve had lunch. I’ll cover for you if you’re late back. I’ve been thinking it might be a good idea for you to work part time soon. What do you think?’
She drew in her breath. She didn’t dare to tell him what she thought at this moment. It wouldn’t be good for their precious babies if she allowed herself to let fling the expletives that came to mind.