Ryan was attracted to her, but they were at entirely different
places in their lives. With the best intentions in the world, there was no way
lighthearted Ryan was ready for the complications involved in loving someone
like her.
She’d better keep that firmly in mind if she didn’t want to be
hurt.
L
aura
watched Mandy run across the lawn at Gabe and Nolie’s farm a couple of days
later, wondering if she could actually do this. Mandy seemed happy enough now,
but how would she react when her mommy started to leave?
This had been Ryan’s idea, of course. She’d mentioned that she
wanted to go to a country sale to try and pick up some shelves for the
third-floor room. Discovering that the sale was being held only a few miles
from the farm, he’d proposed that Mandy stay with Nolie while he borrowed
Gabe’s truck and went with Laura to the sale.
She’d have refused, but he’d brought it up in front of Mandy,
and she’d been so happy at the idea of seeing the puppies again that she hadn’t
been able to say no.
Ryan fell into step with her as they crossed the soft grass to
where Nolie was hugging Mandy. The farmhouse seemed to spread out welcoming
arms to them, and tulips nodded brightly along the edge of the porch.
“Relax,” he said. “Nolie will take good care of her. She’s great
with children.”
“I know she will. I’m just not used to leaving Mandy with
anyone.”
He clasped her hand, swinging it lightly. “Now’s a good time to
start, don’t you think?”
A week or two ago she’d have been angry at his presumption, but
they’d moved past that stage. And she did trust Nolie. Nolie and Mandy were
talking already, hands moving quickly, faces expressive. Nolie sat on the step,
bringing her face to Mandy’s level.
Nolie looked up and smiled when they approached. “We’re going to
visit the puppies. You two can go ahead and leave now, if you’re ready.”
You two,
Nolie had said, as
if they were a pair. They weren’t.
Ryan gave Nolie an affectionate hug. “Thanks for the loan of the
truck. And for keeping this little girl occupied. I think hunting for bargains
would get pretty boring for her after awhile.”
“My pleasure.” Nolie’s smile said that it really was a pleasure.
“Mandy, say bye-bye to Mommy. She’s going shopping, but she’ll be back soon.”
Mandy flung her arms around Laura in a throttling hug and then
ran back to Nolie, tugging on her hand. “Puppies,” she announced.
“Have a good time.” Nolie waved and let herself be pulled toward
the barn. Mandy was so excited that she didn’t even look back.
“I guess she’s going to be fine.” The discovery left her feeling
oddly flat.
“Pleased? Or disappointed?”
Ryan was a little too perceptive, but she couldn’t help smiling
as she followed him to the truck.
“Some of both, I guess. I was prepared for Mandy to be a little
apprehensive, at least.”
He held the door for her, and she gave the pickup truck a
considering look. “Are you sure this is going to get us there and back?”
“Positive.” He brushed at a little mud caked on the red fender.
“It may not look like much, but Gabe keeps it in top-notch order.”
When she still hesitated, he laughed and gave her a quick hug.
“Trust me.”
She climbed into the high seat, trying not to react to the feel
of his arm around her. He’d hugged her the same way he’d hugged
Nolie—affectionately, nothing more.
That was how he’d behaved since the night they’d kissed. He’d
certainly been attentive, checking in a couple of times a day by phone or in
person. But his attitude had been casual, as if that kiss had been nothing more
than a gesture between friends.
Well, that was how she wanted it. Just friends.
A sidelong glance showed her his strong hands on the wheel, the
corded muscles in his forearms under the folded-back sleeves of his plaid
shirt. Attraction, that’s all it was, she told herself firmly. Nothing more.
“Are you dressing for the part?” She nodded to his faded jeans
and well-worn shirt. “I’ve never seen you wearing plaid before.”
He grinned. “Might as well try to fit in. We’re looking for
bargains, remember.”
“The cheaper the better.” The cash she’d tucked into her handbag
would have to be enough, because it was all she could spare.
With a spray of gravel, Ryan turned the truck around and pulled
out onto the country road. “We’re off. Hope they have what you want.”
“According to the sale list, they have several sets of wooden
shelves. I just hope the sale isn’t cluttered with dealers, jacking the prices
up.”
“That’s not usually a big problem around here. This is far
enough from the city that prices stay reasonable.”
She nodded, checking her bag to be sure her cell phone was on in
case Nolie needed to call her.
“She’s not going to call,” Ryan said, reading her emotions
again. His hands moved easily on the wheel. “The only problem you’re going to
have is getting Mandy away from those puppies without taking one home. You
should, you know. Every kid needs a pet.”
She slid the cell phone back into place a little guiltily.
“That’s easy enough for you to say. You know where you’ll be living in a month
or two. We might end up in a rental that doesn’t allow pets.”
“Plenty of apartments do.”
“And plenty of them don’t.” She tried to put finality in her
tone.
“Look, I know you think I’m bugging you about this.”
Ryan pulled into a narrow gravel lane marked by a white board
that bore a single word: Sale. The word slanted slightly downhill, as if the
artist wasn’t used to painting letters, and the black paint trailed a wavy line
under the
e.
“You
are
bugging
me,” she pointed out.
He turned into a field and pulled into a parking space next to
an SUV. “Only because I think it would give you and Mandy a little more
protection.”
His face was so serious that her heart jolted.
“Why do you think we need more protection? Have you found out
something else about the arsonist?”
“Only that he’s covering his trail well.” He frowned. “Too
well.”
“If you’re trying to scare me, you’re succeeding.” The thought
that the unknown person might come back to finish his job was never far from
her mind.
Ryan shrugged, broad shoulders moving under the plaid shirt. He
looked uneasy. “I want you to be careful, not scared. Maybe I’m letting North’s
attitude influence me too much. He sees trouble around every corner.”
“So do I, lately.” How could she help it?
“Well, let’s both try to put that situation on the back burner
for today. We can’t do anything about it now.” He opened the door and slid out.
“Let’s go see if we can find some bargains.”
She followed him across the stubbly grass of the field,
analyzing what he’d said. If Ryan did know something else about the arsonist,
would he tell her? Probably not. That was the line between friendship and
business for him.
Well, today was about business for her, and she’d best
concentrate on that. Her mind flickered to Mandy.
Is she all right without me? Lord—
She stopped abruptly, startled at herself. At one time in her
life she’d carried on that sort of constant conversation with God. Then the
grudge she bore put a stop to those almost unconscious prayers.
I’ll pray for you.
People like the Flanagans said those words so easily. For all
she knew, Mandy was in someone’s prayers right now. But not her mother’s.
The thought shook her, and she tried to push it away. It
wouldn’t go.
Ryan
stopped, glancing at her. “Something wrong?”
“No.” I just don’t know where I am, or whether God even wants to
hear from me.
She knew how Siobhan would answer that. Of course He does. He’s
never stopped loving you.
But Siobhan
had more faith than she did.
The items for sale sat in haphazard rows in the mowed field next
to the barn, looking like so many forlorn tombstones. Yellow stickers announced
hoped-for prices, but she suspected no price was firm. People who had estate
sales wanted to get rid of things.
She paused by a stack of old family photograph albums, their
pages sliding apart. Sad, that there was no one left in the family who wanted
them. Maybe the family line had died out. Or no one cared.
Ryan had passed the photo albums without a glance and was
kneeling next to a cardboard box filled with eight-track tapes. “Hey, look at
this great collection.”
She shook her head, amusement replacing that faint sense of
melancholy. “It’s only great if you have something to play them on. Do you own
an eight-track player?”
He rose, dusting his hands off. “Actually there just might be
one in the attic. Dad keeps threatening to get a Dumpster and get rid of our
junk, but he never does. He knows there’s just as much of his old stuff up
there as ours.”
“It must be nice to have lived in the same house for so long.”
“Three generations of Flanagans. Four, actually, counting Seth’s
little boy, but they’ll be moving out soon, when Seth and Julie get married.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Didn’t you stay put, when you were a kid? I remember the
house you lived in on Maple.”
“We moved from there when I was fifteen. My mother wanted
something a little bigger.”
“Bigger? There were only three of you.”
“She really wanted something a little more prestigious.” She
grimaced. “She thought moving to a more upscale neighborhood would give me what
she called ‘the right kind of friends.’”
“Did it?”
She bent to examine an old sewing-machine cabinet, hoping to
hide her face. “No.”
She’d just been more alone. Her mother had never understood that
Laura wasn’t capable of the kind of social success she’d wanted. It had been
one more cause for disappointment in her daughter.
“I guess she didn’t approve of ordinary middle-class people like
the Flanagans.” He gave her that lopsided grin.
“I’ve never noticed anything ordinary about the Flanagans.” She
managed a smile, eager to move away from the subject of her mother.
“That’s because there were so many of us.” He glanced past her,
attention diverted. “Look at that.”
She took one look and fell in love. A child’s dresser sat
crookedly in the grass. The triple mirror was cracked and the white paint
chipped, but it had beautifully turned legs and a curved top.
“It’s darling.” She touched the roses carved around the mirror.
“But in terrible shape.”
“There’s a matching chair.” Ryan picked up the child’s chair,
turning it in his capable hands. “A spindle is missing and the glue’s dried
out, but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. Wouldn’t Mandy love this?”
She glanced at the price. “Probably, but I can’t afford to buy
anything more than I have to get today. Anyway, I don’t have the time to fix it
up just now.”
Ryan didn’t seem to be paying attention. He lifted one hand, and
a stout elderly woman approached, jingling the change in the white denim apron
she wore. She’d probably been watching them, eagle-eyed, scenting a buyer.
“Help you folks with something?”
“Ryan, I don’t want to buy that today.” What part of no didn’t
the man understand?
“I’m interested in the little dresser.” He did a great job of
ignoring her. “If you think you can do a bit better on the price.”
The woman gave a show of reluctance. “That was my mother’s when
she was a little girl. I bet I could get more than that for it from an antique
shop.”
“Maybe so, but I’m here now.” Ryan gave her the smile that had
been melting feminine hearts all his life. “And I know a little girl who’d love
it as much as your mother did.”
She wavered. “Well—”
“Tell you what.” Ryan pulled some bills from his wallet. “You
throw in the chair, and I’ll meet your price on the dresser.”
“Guess you got a deal.” She snatched the money, and it
disappeared into her apron pocket. She glanced from Ryan to Laura. “Hope your
little girl likes it.”