Authors: Jack J. Lee
Mina sounded impatient. “I’m serious.” I heard scuffling noises. “Ouch, dammit Steve, keep your freaking hands to yourself, that’s not a toy!”
I could hear the rustle of their clothing and the floor boards made a faint, almost inaudible sound as they moved. From those hints, I pictured Steve coming in, trying to hug Mina and her pushing him away. I wasn’t sure about the toy part. “Yeah sure, what’s up?” I could hear the frustration in Steve’s voice. He clearly wasn’t in the mood to ‘talk’.
“Well, I don’t think it becomes you to be contemptuous of people with different beliefs.” Mina’s voice was soft but firm.
Irritation mixed with anger crept into Willeso’s voice, “For crying out loud Mina, tell me we’re not going back to the ‘be kind to religious idiots’ argument again. Religion has killed more people than most diseases. Anyone who believes in that kind of primitive crap deserves contempt. Let’s talk tomorrow. I can think of better things to do now.” I heard only silence for a moment then, “Do you like it when I do this?”
Mina’s yell sounded indignant. “Stop that!” I could hear the amorous professor being pushed away. “Now, are you saying that anyone who disagrees with you is stupid?”
“Of course not!” Steve sounded defensive, almost whiny. “I’m saying people who believe in stupid things are stupid.”
Mina’s back was up now. I could hear the deadly intent in her voice. “You know I believe in God, Steve.”
“In all other ways Mina, you’re intelligent. I’m willing to forgive that one little bit of insanity.” I burst out laughing. The professor clearly wasn’t as smart as he thought he was.
Again, I could hear him trying to get physically closer and this time getting rejected with a resounding smack! Mina almost shouted, “Steve, are you smarter than Isaac Newton or Albert Einstein?”
There was totally outraged disbelief in Professor Rectum’s voice, “What do they have to do with anything? I can’t believe you hit me, Mina!”
“KEEP your hands to yourself, you…” From the anger in her voice and the pause in her speech, I pictured Mina thinking about and then deciding not to call Steve an asshole, I felt her struggling to get calm enough to ask in a level voice, “I asked that question because both of them believed in God. I’m just wondering if you’re egotistical enough to think you’re smarter than they were.”
Steve backed down and was whiny again. “Okay, Mina.” Even rejected he couldn’t pass up an academic debate. “Of course I don’t think they were stupid or insane. It’s possible for smart people to believe in stupid things. I’ll give you Newton. He clearly believed in the Christian God but he also believed in alchemy. Albert Einstein had a much more nuanced view of God and I’m pretty sure he didn’t believe in the God of the Torah.”
Steve must have stopped trying to be frisky. Mina seemed to settle down. “I agree with you, Steve. It’s possible for smart people to believe in stupid things. Did you know more than fifty per cent of people on Earth are followers of one religion or another? Almost every single scientist before our generation believed in God. I just think it’s incredibly stupid to make a blanket statement saying all those people are stupid.”
I heard Steve try to interject but Mina politely shut him down. “No Steve, don’t interrupt, please just wait a minute and let me finish. Are you willing to listen to me?” Steve muttered a “Yes” and Mina continued, “Because of communism and fascism, in the last hundred years atheists have killed more people than all the religions in history to date. Stalin, Hitler, and Mao killed more people than all the religious wars combined. We can waste time talking about the worst of humanity. Everybody, everywhere has it in them to be evil. Instead, let’s talk about the best of humanity. Whenever I see great humanitarians—Mother Theresa, Gandhi, or Martin Luther King—I see people who have faith in a loving God. Tell me the name of one great humanitarian atheist, Steve?”
There was silence. The brilliant professor of Anthropology had just got his ass handed to him by a girl.
Mina went on, her voice almost gently soothing now. Her prey was down, and she was poised to make her kill. “It’s not enough, Steve, to be better than the worst of a group of people. If you want to prove your way is better, you have to be able to exceed their best. You’ll have to be good at something besides showing contempt before you label people who disagree with you stupid. Show me that atheists can add something to the world besides an undeserved belief in their own superiority.”
If Steve had been hoping for a happy ending, he was disappointed. I heard him leave shortly after their argument. From the way he stomped out and slammed the doors behind him, he wasn’t happy. It’s petty to take delight in the misery of others but I already admitted I’m petty.
I have my flaws, but hypocrisy isn’t one of them. I value my privacy. If I could do anything about it, I wasn’t going to keep on invading Mina’s. Tomorrow morning, I was going to ask Aidan how to turn my super hearing off and on.
If I had to be genetically designed to love someone, at least that someone could use her head. I should have been ecstatic my ‘true love’ was available; I wasn’t. I’ve been trying for the last few decades to become someone I’m really not—methodical, logical, and controlled. My natural inclination is to be an impulsive, adrenalin-seeking idiot. I’m not good at resisting temptation, and I had never met a greater temptation than this young woman. I couldn’t believe my true love was young enough to be my daughter, and that she would look like a cheerleader.
The ethics of a full professor sleeping with a coed were problematic. The difference between his position and hers didn’t quite fit the legal definition of statutory rape, but certainly qualified as an abuse of power—another reason why Steve was a rectum. I had to be at least ten years older than Willeso. I was a forty-seven-year old paladin with a license to kill direct from God.
The ethics of me having a relationship with a twenty-two-year old coed sucked. For me, attraction has always been more about the mental than the physical. Mental attraction, at least for me, has always required a similar level of life experiences. I was too jaded and impatient to be with someone who was just taking baby steps into adulthood. All of the women I’ve dated in the past few years have been in their late thirties. Because of the way I looked, even though I was older than any of them, everyone thought my dates were cougars.
I had no desire to like or respect Mina. I didn’t want to make room in my life for a serious girlfriend, never mind my one true love. I sure as hell didn’t want marriage or a family. It was easier to resist irrational, chemically driven emotions than an attraction based on real knowledge and respect. I was better off not knowing her. I needed to spend my nights in a secure place, but it didn’t have to be here. I reminded myself to ask Aidan if I could bunk at the coin shop. With that thought, I fell asleep.
Chapter 12: The Kiss
I woke to the sound of Mina puttering in the kitchen. Andi and Ben were still in their rooms, asleep. I checked the time, it was 6:30. I sent a text message to Aidan asking when I should get to the store. I mentally kicked myself for not asking him last night.
My plan was to hang out in my apartment until Aidan texted back. My plan went down the drain when I realized I hadn’t had a chance to shop and stock up my small kitchen. I’m psychologically addicted to coffee. I need my fix every morning. I was sure I could bum a cup from Mina but that meant I had to go downstairs and ask her. I was strangely reluctant.
It took a bit to get my head around the fact that Mina scared me. It took even longer to figure out why. I’ve always been an adrenalin junkie. I’ve never been afraid of physical risks; hell I enjoyed them. I was beginning to understand how frightened I was of emotional pain. I hadn’t realized how much I hated the idea of needing anyone. Mina was freaking me out in a way that Redcaps or an unknown number of Jotunn never could. The worst those monsters could do was to maim or kill me; she could make me care.
I stared at my phone and willed Aidan to text me so I could get out of here. Nothing happened, there was no message. What the hell had happened to ‘imposing my will’ upon the Universe?
I was able to kill a few minutes by brushing my teeth and throwing on some clothes. I walked quietly downstairs to the kitchen. I didn't announce myself right away.
Mina was dressed in a blue T shirt and shorts, barefoot. Her hair was in a high ponytail. Regardless of what she wore, she drew my eyes. She was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, a book open in front of her, a cup of coffee forgotten in her hands. She sat with one leg tucked under and the other swinging idly back and forth. She seemed to be quietly lost in thought. I looked around; the place was surprisingly clean for the early morning after a large party.
I decided to get this over with. “Good morning.”
She turned to me, smiling softly, “Hey, good morning, sunshine. Would you like some coffee?”
She called me ‘sunshine’ and it didn’t annoy me. I was pathetic. “That’d be awesome.”
I waited, leaning back against the counter while she got up to pour me a cup. “You want sugar or cream?”
“No thanks, I’ll take it black.” As she turned her back to me, I let myself look at her. I was immediately drawn to the nape of her neck partially hidden by her ponytail. It was the perfect place to plant a gentle kiss.
When she passed me my coffee, I looked down into my cup. I didn’t want to deal with the headaches that came from looking at her. I could feel the silence turn heavy and uncomfortable.
Mina didn’t sit back down. She leaned on the counter just a couple feet away from me. I could feel her gaze. Mina spoke first, “If you don’t mind me asking, what did you whisper to Elaine before you left last night?”
I looked up from my coffee and shrugged, “Nothing special, just goodnight.”
Mina burst out in delighted laughter. She shook her head. “Vic, where the heck were you raised? You have some serious socialization issues with women. The first night you’re here, you slam your door in my sister’s face. On the second night, in the middle of a party in front of everyone, you act like you’re going to make out with one of my best friends and then all you do is say ‘Goodnight?’ What’s up with that?”
Her laugh was infectious. I smiled back at her, “You’re right; I have no manners.”
“Elaine swore that’s all you said but no one believed her. We all thought you were going to throw her over your shoulder and carry her back to your room.” Mina tilted her head, eyeing me thoughtfully, “I think Elaine was really disappointed you didn’t. You want her number? She said I could give it to you.”
I shook my head and gave a rueful smile, “That’s okay. She seems nice but I’m not in the right place for a relationship now, and to tell you the truth, I’m not attracted to her.”
Mina’s brows drew together in irritation at my answer. “Buddy, that’s sure not how you acted.” She leaned over, intending to poke her finger into my chest to emphasize her point, “Look, you don’t just lead…”
I grabbed her hand when it was an inch from my chest. No one touches me in anger. Mina was startled by my response. I don’t know what my face looked like but I could feel my temper about to explode. “I meant what I said. I am not and never have been, attracted to her.”
She stood her ground, waving her free hand in exasperation, and shot right back, “Okay, Mr. Tough Guy, if you’re not attracted to her, who ARE you attracted to?”
I spoke without thinking, almost as if I had no choice. My voice was a growl, “I’m attracted to you.”
“Ha!” She moved a step closer to me. I already had her one hand captured so when she tried to push at my chest with the other, I grabbed that hand as well. We stood face to face, inches apart. “Ha!” she repeated, heatedly. “You haven’t said more than three words to me at a time since we first met. Don’t tell me you’re shy; I wouldn’t believe you for a second. Attracted to me, what a crock! What’s your game, Vic?”
I didn’t respond with words, I was too angry to speak. Eyes are the windows to the soul. I let her gaze into mine; I showed her my anger and the core of hatred I kept bound in chains. I revealed the monster I kept hidden from the world.
We stood unmoving-an eternity passed in seconds-and to my surprise she didn’t tear herself away from me. My truth has always terrified the few who’ve seen it; Mina stood before me, unafraid. Without breaking our gaze, she slowly brought our entwined hands up to cup my face. She stood up on tiptoes and gently, softly, kissed me. I buried myself into her mouth with a hunger I’ve had my entire life.
“Ahem!” We sprang apart and turned. Ben and Andi were watching us from the doorway to the rest of the house. Andi sounded like she was honestly puzzled, “So Vic…you’re not gay?”
I heard the words but they were so unexpected their meaning didn’t register for a few seconds. When I realized what she had asked, I cracked up with involuntary laughter. “No, I’m not.”
Ben guffawed, “Well that’s not what Mina claimed last night.”
I turned to Mina. She was beet red. She faced me, started to say something, reconsidered and said nothing. Instead, she looked at her brother and sister like they were something she needed to scrape off the bottom of her shoe. They were hysterical, and had to hold on to the wall and counter respectively to stay upright.
I was honestly puzzled, “You thought I was gay?”
Ben wiped tears from his eyes and answered for Mina. “Yeah, after the deal with my developmentally challenged sister and then Elaine, she was sure you weren’t attracted to girls. It looks like Mina proved herself wrong.” After that line, only Ben was laughing. Both his sisters looked like they wanted to kill him.