Authors: Jae
Their wagon crested the hill, and Amy pulled on the reins to
stop Old Jack before whoever was ahead of them could see them.
Rika craned her neck.
"Mouse," Amy said. "It's just Tess and
Frankie." She let go of her rifle.
In the valley below them, the gray mare munched on a tuft of
grass. Frankie had gotten out of the saddle while Tess waited, still mounted on
her own horse.
"Seems they had the same idea." Amy grinned.
"Frankie's picking strawberries."
Tess's laughter drifted over when Frankie returned with a
handful of the little red fruits and offered them to Tess. But instead of
reaching out and taking the strawberries from Frankie, Tess bent and plucked
the fruit right off Frankie's hand with her lips.
Rika stared at them.
Maybe Tess didn't want to get
strawberry juice on her hands.
A sudden image of Amy feeding her
strawberries right out of her hand formed before her mind's eye, but she chased
it away with a shake of her head.
Before Tess could straighten in the saddle, Frankie reached
up and pressed her lips to Tess's. It was not a friendly peck between cousins.
Heat swirled through Rika's belly, up her chest, and then
crawled up her face. It took her a while to form words. "W-what are they
doing? They're cousins! And they... they're both women!"
Only silence answered her.
She turned her head to look at Amy.
But Amy didn't provide any answers. She blanched. Her left
hand white-knuckled the reins while her right hand was clamped around her knee.
"Amy?"
Amy flinched and turned toward her.
It was hard to figure out what Amy was feeling and thinking,
maybe because she felt so many things at once, as Rika did. Her eyelashes
fluttered.
"Maybe it was just a kiss between cousins." Amy's
trembling voice made it sound like a question, not a statement.
But Rika knew what she had seen. She had lived her whole life
facing reality, as harsh or confusing it might be. This had not been a gesture
of affection between relatives. "You don't kiss your sister like that, do
you?"
"No!" Amy's face went from pale to deep red.
"I'd never —"
Rika touched her arm. "I know."
When Amy's gaze flickered down to the hand on her arm, Rika
withdrew. They sat in silence until Old Jack let out a snort.
Frankie and Tess looked up from sharing more strawberries.
"Hello, you two," Tess called when Amy directed
the wagon down the hill. "Are you off to church?"
Speechless, Rika nodded.
"We're not coming this time." Tess smiled at them
as if nothing had happened. "We decided to enjoy the Lord's creation out
here instead."
"Yeah. We're gonna have a picnic with
strawberries." Frankie presented her hand that cradled a few more of the
berries. "Want some?"
Still pale, Amy shook her head. "No. No, thanks. We
better get going, or we'll be late for church."
The wagon jerked forward as if Old Jack felt his owner's
agitation.
Rika spent the rest of the ride to town in a daze.
"I'm sorry," Amy said after a long silence.
"You don't need to apologize. You are not the one who
goes around kissing other women."
But the look of guilt and confusion didn't disappear from
Amy's face. They drove along in silence for the rest of the way.
* * *
Back in Boston, Rika had liked going to church since it was
the only interruption to long, monotonous workweeks. But now she couldn't wait
to leave Baker Prairie's little church. She squirmed on the hard pew while
Reverend Rhodes delivered his sermon about sin.
Surely it's a sin to kiss your cousin that way. To kiss
another woman.
But still, she knew Frankie and Tess were good people. Nora
thought highly of them, and they had saved Amy's life. And there was so much
love in the way Frankie had fed the strawberries to Tess.
Was this really wrong in the eyes of the Lord while her
father's cold, sometimes cruel treatment of her stepmother was perfectly
normal?
Rika didn't know what to think anymore.
Amy didn't fare any better. Whenever Rika sneaked glances at
her during the sermon, she found Amy staring at her hands as if she didn't want
to meet anyone's gaze. Sometimes, she flinched when the pastor promised eternal
hell to sinners who didn't repent.
As soon as the pastor gave his blessing and church was over,
Rika rushed down the aisle toward the church's exit. With a shy nod, she ducked
past the pastor, who stood next to the portal to say good-bye to his
parishioners.
Behind her, Amy mumbled a quick greeting and followed Rika
down the church steps.
"Miss Bruggeman!" the pastor called.
Rika froze. She felt as if the Lord's lightning had struck
her. Slowly, she turned around, shoulders lifted as if to protect her
vulnerable neck. "Yes?"
The pastor descended the steps, his gaze never leaving her.
Does he know what Tess and Frankie did? What kind of
thoughts I've been having?
She shook off her panicked thoughts.
He's a pastor, not a
mind reader.
Rika tried to put on the masks that protected her so well in
the past but found it hard to erect the familiar walls.
"You've been part of the congregation for a while now,
but I haven't found the time to talk to you," Reverend Rhodes said when he
stopped next to her. "How do you like it here in Baker Prairie?"
The knot in Rika's stomach loosened. "I like it just
fine. The people here are wonderful." Her gaze wandered to Amy, who was
waiting a few steps away.
When the pastor followed her gaze, he lifted an eyebrow but
said nothing.
Words weren't necessary. Rika had read the silent
disapproval in people's gazes often enough when they'd looked at her, knowing
she was the daughter of a drunkard and the wife of a never-do-well husband.
He
doesn't approve of Amy, because she's not like the other girls in town.
Her
lips pressed together until they felt numb.
He doesn't know Amy's kindness,
has never seen her care for the animals, yet he judges her for the way she
dresses.
She waited for him to nod and move on to other parishioners,
but the pastor kept looking at her.
"Phineas is expected back soon," he said. "It's
time to discuss your wedding ceremony."
Oh, no.
Rika couldn't deal with that. Not today.
"Oh, Reverend, I can't possibly make decisions about wedding plans without
Mr. Sharpe and without even having met him. Maybe we can talk some other time,
when he's back. Now, would you excuse me, please? The Hamiltons are waiting for
me." She pointed at Nattie and Nora, who now joined Amy next to the wagon.
"Come see me as soon as Phineas is back." The
pastor's stern gaze drilled into her. "You can't live under the same roof
with Phineas and not be married to him."
"I won't," Rika said.
One of the women who sat in the first pew every Sunday waved
to get the pastor's attention.
"Until next Sunday, then." With one last glance,
he walked away.
"What did he want?" Amy asked when Rika climbed
onto the wagon. She fidgeted with the reins as if she, too, wondered whether
the pastor somehow knew about Frankie and Tess's improper behavior.
Rika settled the folds of her skirt around her and made sure
her ankles were covered. "He wanted to talk about the wedding
ceremony."
For the long way home, Nora, who rode next to the wagon with
Nattie, talked about what Rika would wear, how they would decorate the church,
and what passages the pastor would read from the Bible.
Wedding preparations didn't hold Rika's attention. Five
years ago, those things held more meaning to her. She had altered one of her
mother's old dresses to fit her slim frame, walked miles to pick a few sprigs
of cherry blooms, and obsessed about the way her hair looked. Now she knew
those things held no importance. Her marriage hadn't turned out any better
because of them.
Over and over, her thoughts slid back to seeing Frankie and
Tess kiss. They passed the little bend in the path where Tess and Frankie had
stopped to pick strawberries. The place was deserted now, and Rika wondered if
she had imagined it all.
But then she saw Amy's gaze flit to the place.
Rika sighed. Her life had changed. Everything was different,
and she wasn't even sure how.
* * *
"Lord, we thank you for this food. Please bless our
family, our friends, and the horses." Mama let her gaze travel over the
people at the table. "Amen."
"Amen," Amy mumbled. Mama asked the Lord to bless
Frankie and Tess. Didn't she know God considered them sinners?
Rika nudged her. "Dumplings?" She held the bowl
out to Amy and studied her.
"Thanks." Amy looked away from the probing gaze.
Her stomach churned at the thought of eating, but she placed three dumplings on
her plate. If she took fewer, Mama would become suspicious.
On the other side of the table, Mama heaped chicken and
gravy onto Frankie's plate and offered a slice of bread to Tess. They laughed
at something, but Amy's thoughts whirled through her mind and she couldn't
follow the conversation.
Mama treats them like cherished friends, not like sinners
she barely tolerates at her table.
Amy hadn't seen one strange glance, one
disapproving look directed at Frankie and Tess. Mama probably didn't know about
their unnatural ways. Or was it possible that she knew and was all right with
women loving each other? Amy was afraid to let herself hope.
"You're not eating," Rika whispered. The warmth of
her arm penetrated Amy's shirt. "You all right?"
"Just fine." Forcefully, Amy's fork sliced through
the dumplings.
"Liar."
Amy blinked. Was this the plain young woman who had arrived
here two months ago? If she was honest with herself, Amy had stopped thinking
of Rika as plain weeks ago. Now she saw the strength and the beauty in her
stern features. Not knowing how to answer, she pierced a bit of chicken with
her fork and swallowed it past the lump in her throat.
"
N
ORA!"
The urgent whisper stopped Nora on her way to the
springhouse. When she turned her head, she saw Tess peeking out of the cabin,
waving at her to come over.
Fetching the butter could wait, she decided. Except for
supper, she hadn't seen Tess all day, not even at church.
Is something
wrong?
She hurried over.
Tess closed the door behind them and gestured to the table,
where Frankie was sitting.
"What happened?" Nora looked at the serious faces
of her friends.
"Please sit down, Nora."
Nora sank onto a chair and laid her hand on the scarred
table. Lovingly, she traced the burn marks in the wood, taking comfort in the
old memories the cabin held.
"I think Amy knows," Tess said.
Nora's grip on the table turned desperate. Her heart lurched
against her ribs, pounding out a frantic staccato. Bitter liquid burned her
throat. She lived in fear of this happening for many years, and now that the
moment had come, she found she was utterly unprepared. "Amy knows?"
Her cheeks pale beneath a hint of rouge, Tess nodded.
"But how? Now that Luke's not here, how could she find
out?"
"Luke?" Tess frowned, then pressed her hands to her
cheeks. "Oh, I'm not talking about that. Luke's secret is safe."
Nora sank against the back of her chair. She clutched her
chest and felt her heartbeat settle down. "Lord, Tess, you scared me. What
does Amy know, then?"
"She knows about me and Frankie. At least I'm fairly
sure she does. I thought I was imagining things at first, but she stared at us
all through supper. I bet she knows."
Oh.
That was bad — but still better than Amy finding
out Luke's secret. Luke and she raised their daughters to respect other people,
no matter how different from them they might be. But as far as Nora knew, Amy
had never met a woman who had relations with other women. "How did she
react?"
"She and Hendrika both turned whiter than your whitest
tablecloth." At the moment, Tess was pale as a tablecloth too.
Nora rubbed her forehead. "Hendrika knows about you
too?"
This is bad.
She was fairly sure Amy wouldn't run to town
screaming and lamenting about the abnormal women who lived in their cabin, but
she had no idea how Hendrika would react.
"They came across us on their way to church. I'm pretty
sure they saw us kiss." Tess exchanged guilty glances with Frankie.
"I'm sorry. We shouldn't have been so careless. We never were before. We
learned to keep our distance from each other when we are out in public."
Frankie reached over and took Tess's hand. "This,"
she made a gesture with her free hand that included the whole ranch, "is
such a safe haven that we stopped being so careful all the time. I'm sorry
too."
"No," Nora said. "You don't
have to be sorry. A safe haven is exactly what Luke and I want our home to
be." They had hired Toby even though he was becoming too old for ranch
work; they took in Phin when he was little more than a homeless boy running
away from his father, and Luke brought home Hank when he was down on his luck,
nursing a broken leg. "I'm sorry you can't show your love for each other
the way Luke and I can. It's not fair that you have to hide."
"We all have a price to pay for happiness," Tess
said, her eyes soft and sad.
Frankie rubbed her thumb across the back of Tess's hand.
"What do we do now?" Her gaze landed on Nora. "Should we try to
convince Amy and Hendrika that in our hometown, cousins kiss each other like
that?"
A tired smile tugged at Nora's lips. "I don't think
they'd buy that. And there are already enough lies in our family. I don't want
more. I trust Amy not to panic and tell the whole town."