Authors: Jae
"What about Hendrika?" Tess asked.
That was the big unknown. "I'm not sure," Nora
said. "But I hope she'll follow Amy's lead, like she did when they rescued
the horses from the burning stable and the foal from the river."
"Then let me go and talk to them," Tess said.
"I'm sure they're pretty confused and have a lot of questions."
Frankie rose to follow her.
"No," Tess said. "Let me talk to them
alone."
"Why? I was the one who kissed you."
"Yeah, but I'm the one who ate the strawberries right
out of your hand."
Nora raised a brow.
Strawberries?
Frankie looked at Tess. "Together?"
No more words were needed between them.
"Together," Tess said.
A quick gesture from Nora stopped them. She trusted Tess,
but this was her responsibility. "No. I'll do it."
"Are you sure?" Tess asked. "Frankie and I
caused this situation, and I feel bad that now you have to be the one to take
care of it."
"I'm Amy's mother, and Hendrika is a guest in my
house," Nora said. "I need to make sure they're all right."
Tess squeezed her hand. "Please let them know it's all
right for them to talk to us too. I don't want them to think we're avoiding
them now that they know. We haven't changed, and they can still talk to
us."
"I will make sure they know. All right." With her
hand on the old table, Nora pressed up from her chair. "Then let me go
talk to my daughters."
A frown deepened the lines across Tess's forehead.
"Daughters? You mean you want to tell Nattie too?"
Nora nodded.
"Is that wise?"
Nora understood the fear in Tess's eyes. Tess and Frankie
had hidden for years. Telling someone was a risk they were reluctant to take.
"If Amy knows, Nattie deserves to know too. I don't want Amy to think your
relationship is something bad, something she has to hide even from her own
sister."
"How will your daughters take this?" Tess worried
her lip.
"I'm not sure. I want to believe that they will come to
accept it after a while, but we never actually talked about anything like
this."
"You never had a reason to."
"There were two widows living together a few years
back, but we never talked about it with the girls," Nora said. "We
avoided the subject, mostly because we didn't want to give them any ideas about
Luke." Maybe being so overly cautious was a mistake. Nora walked to the
door. "Let's get this over with." When the door fell closed behind
her, she felt as if she was marching into battle.
* * *
Nora trudged across the ranch yard while she searched for
the right words. What could she say to make her daughters understand that Tess
and Frankie's relationship was not a sin but needed to be protected from others
anyway?
When she looked up, the ranch yard was no longer empty.
Ruby stood tied to the corral rail and swatted flies from
her rump with her tail.
"Hey, girl." Nora walked over and scratched
beneath the mare's mane. "What are you doing here?"
Creaking leather made her glance up.
Amy, dressed in pants even though it was Sunday, carried her
saddle out of the stable. When she saw Nora standing next to the horse, the
saddle sagged in her grasp. She paused but then swung the saddle on Ruby's
back.
Nora narrowed her eyes at her. "You're not riding out
now, are you?"
"I want to check on the yearlings and the foals."
Amy turned her back and reached under Ruby's belly for the cinch.
"You can do that tomorrow. We need to talk."
"Papa will be home soon," Amy said. "I want
to make sure he finds the herd in good shape." She tightened the cinch
with more force than necessary.
Ruby snorted and stepped to the side.
"Sorry, girl," Amy murmured and gentled her touch.
Nora grasped Amy's shoulder, stopping her from circling Ruby
to check the saddle from the other side. Gently, she pulled her around. "I
think Luke would rather have his daughters in good shape, and you're clearly
not. Amy, I understand why you're upset. Seeing Tess and Frankie kiss each
other must have —"
"You know about them?" Amy's voice squeaked.
"And you still let them stay?"
Little hairs rose on Nora's neck. Where was this disapproval
coming from? "They are our friends, Amy." Her gaze drilled into Amy's
until she looked away. "I know this is confusing for you, and I don't
expect you to understand and be fine with it within a few seconds. Come inside
with me, and let's talk about it."
Amy's face was pasty under the brim of her hat.
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Of course there is!" Nora softened her tone.
"Come on. Let's go inside."
Dust whirled when Amy scraped the heel of her boot over the
ground. "Can't it wait?"
Nora hesitated. Should she force Amy to talk about it even
though she clearly wasn't ready? Or should she let her go and wait until she
calmed down?
"Please, Mama."
When Amy directed a begging stare at her, Nora almost
expected to see her eyes white-rimmed with panic.
"Mama..." Next to Amy, Ruby pranced as if infected
by Amy's agitation.
Luke had taught Nora that it was never wise to get between a
scared creature and its escape route. Maybe it was best to give Amy some time
alone. "All right." She brushed a speck of dirt from Amy's chaps.
"I still think you'd feel better if we talked about it now, but you are an
adult, and I trust you to come to me when you're ready to talk about it."
Amy lifted her gaze. "Thank you."
"I also trust you to keep Tess and Frankie safe."
"Safe?"
"Most people wouldn't understand their relationship.
Some might even hate them." Nora looked into Amy's eyes to make sure she
knew how serious this was. "I hope you won't be one of those people."
She paused, hoping Amy would assure her she wasn't, but Amy said nothing.
"If you meet Hannah or anyone else, please don't mention Tess and
Frankie's relationship. Even people we think we know well sometimes react in
unpredictable ways. Some might even try to harm Tess and Frankie."
The color of Amy's face went from pasty to deathly pale.
"I won't say a word."
Nora watched as Amy swung into the saddle. "Don't stay
away for too long, and be careful, please."
"If I don't find all of the foals down by the river, I
might stay at a line shack," Amy called. Before Nora could answer, she
loped away and disappeared in a cloud of dust.
* * *
Voices came from inside the house. Nora identified Nattie's
cheerful tone. A more reserved voice answered every now and then.
Hendrika.
Nora hesitated with her hand on the door.
Was Hendrika telling Nattie what she had seen?
No,
Nora decided. Hendrika
didn't seem the kind of woman who would blurt out information like that.
She opened the door and stepped into the parlor.
"If you smudge it with your thumb, you can make it look
like shadows," Nattie said. She and Hendrika sat at the large table,
sheets of paper all around them.
Hendrika's tongue peeked out of the corner of her mouth as
she drew a piece of charcoal over the paper in front of her.
"Hello, you two," Nora said.
Nattie looked up from her drawing. "I finally convinced
Hendrika to try her hand at drawing."
"Hm," Nora said. She took a breath. "Can I
talk to you?"
Hendrika picked up her stack of papers. "I'll go upstairs
and leave you two to talk."
A "wait" was already on Nora's tongue. Her request
to talk included Hendrika, but maybe talking to them separately was a good
idea.
"Can I take a piece of charcoal to draw another?"
Hendrika asked.
"Of course," Nattie said. "See, I told you
you'd like it." Nattie watched Hendrika climb the stairs. "And she's
really good at it too. Probably gets it from her mother." She turned a
sheet of paper that had gotten mixed up with her own stack.
Nora studied it. Careful strokes of charcoal formed the
strong flanks of a horse and the proud bend of its neck. The horse's ears
flicked back to the rider, who seemed one with the horse, drawn in one big
sweep. A dented hat hung down the rider's back, and the wind combed through an
untamed tangle of hair.
Even in black-and-white, the picture clearly portrayed Amy
on her favorite mare.
Thinking of Amy, out there on Ruby, made her stomach
flutter, but she shoved away her worries. Now it was time to focus on her
younger daughter. She glanced at the drawing. "She's quite good."
"Yes." Nattie's lips twitched. "Figures she
would be better than me at this too."
What was that tone in Nattie's voice? "You're not
jealous, are you?"
"No, it's just —" Nattie stopped and shrugged.
"I'm not jealous, just surprised."
They looked down, studying Hendrika's drawing again. The raw
strokes held a simple beauty, and Rika had drawn the details with loving
attention.
"Frankie mentioned she saw portraits like this in
Paris," Nora said.
Excitement smoldered in Nattie's eyes. She looked ready to
run out the door and leap at Frankie to pepper her with questions.
"Frankie has been to Paris?"
"I'm sure she'll tell you all about it later, but
first, I need to talk to you."
Nattie laid down her piece of charcoal. "What's going
on? Everyone is acting so strange around here. First, Amy runs off to check the
yearlings even though it's Sunday. And Hendrika seems a bit..." She
gestured but didn't find the right words.
"Amy and Hendrika found out something that left them
pretty confused." Nora hesitated. Was it fair to put Nattie through that
kind of confusion too?
"What?" Nattie glowed with interest. She was
always eager to discover the new things life had to offer. One way or another,
Nattie would find out, and Nora decided it would be better if she learned it
from her.
She swallowed and realized she'd never had to tell anyone
something like this. Since Luke lived as a man, they'd been spared that
experience. She longed to have Luke by her side, just to hold her hand and give
her courage.
"What is it?" Nattie tugged on Nora's sleeve.
"Tess and Frankie..." Nora licked dry lips.
"They're not cousins."
Nattie swiped at a lock of dark hair that fell into her
eyes. A smudge of charcoal appeared on her forehead. "They're not? Then
why did they tell us that?"
"It's hard to explain."
Eyes calm, Nattie watched her, not judging, just trying to
figure it out.
"It's not that they wanted to lie to you, but telling
people that they are cousins allows them to share a room without anyone
suspecting."
"Suspecting what?"
Nora took a steadying breath. "That they're
sweethearts."
Papers rustled when Nattie dropped them.
"Sweethearts?"
"They love each other," Nora said.
"Love each other?" Nattie again echoed. "You
mean, they —" She shook her head. "What exactly do you mean?"
How could she explain this to her daughter? Nora thought of
Luke. "It means Tess loves Frankie's courage, the way she can be confident
without being stuck-up, and Frankie loves Tess for her good heart and —"
"They admire each other." Nattie's expression
cleared when she thought she finally understood.
It wasn't quite so easy, of course. "Yes, but that's
not all. Tess also loves Frankie's body and her lips and the expression in her
eyes when Frankie looks at her. And Frankie loves the same things about
Tess." Nora rubbed her chin. How could she explain passion and desire to
her young daughter who had never experienced it?
"They fell in love with each other?" Nattie's
lashes fluttered like the wings of a bird caught in a net. "But that's not
possible between two women, is it?"
Many years ago, Nora had thought the same. Now she knew it
was not just possible but wonderful. "Why wouldn't it be possible? Love is
a miracle, Nattie, so anything is possible."
"Do you really think so?" Her gaze cast downward,
Nattie smoothed her hands over the stack of paper.
The hint of sadness darting across Nattie's face made Nora
wonder. "I do." She laid a hand on Nattie's cheek and rubbed away the
charcoal smudge on her forehead. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah. It's just..." Nattie fiddled with the hem
of her apron.
"What? Tell me, sweetie. You know you can talk to me
about anything. What is it?"
Red splotches appeared on Nattie's cheeks. "Everybody
says a woman is supposed to go to bed only with her husband," she said,
her voice barely above a whisper.
Nora couldn't help smiling. So much innocence. "And
that's usually how it works out, but if the person you gave your heart to
happens to be a woman... Well, Frankie and Tess can't go to the pastor and tell
him to marry them."
"Then wouldn't it be better if they let each other go
so each of them could have a happy life? If you love someone, aren't you
supposed to think of his or her happiness first, even if it breaks your
heart?"
"I'm sure going their separate ways would make their
lives easier, but it wouldn't make them happy," Nora said. She finally
understood that it was also true for Luke. Living as Nora's husband and the
father of their daughters made Luke's life complicated, but it also made her
happy. "Sometimes, falling in love doesn't mean you'll get to have a
happily-ever-after. Sometimes, you have to fight for it, compromise, and pay a
price for being with the one person you love most. It's hard, but it's worth
it. Life's too short to throw away love, no matter what form it comes in."
Nattie's eyes took on the lead gray indicating she was
deeply in thought. She brushed a charcoal stain from her apron. "And it's
the same, no matter if you're in love with a man or a woman?"
"I don't know," Nora said. "I wonder if any
two loves are exactly the same."