Authors: Jae
"I'll drive the dump rake," Amy continued.
"And the rest of you can —"
Nora walked over and lowered her voice so only Amy would
hear. "Is it really necessary for you to drive a mower or a rake before
your ribs are better?"
"Mama, my ribs are much better. Rika looks at them
every night." A flush spread over Amy's cheeks, making Nora study her
curiously. "They are fine, see?" Amy patted her side.
If she forbade Amy to do her job in front of the ranch
hands, she would undermine her authority. She couldn't do that to her, no
matter how much she worried. Amy had worked too hard to gain the men's respect.
And driving the rake wasn't as bad as being jostled around on the mower.
"All right."
She would just have to keep an eye on Amy.
The curved wooden tines of the rake lowered to the ground,
and with a shout from Amy, Little Jack started to move. The twelve-foot-long
rake quickly filled with hay. When it was full, Amy pushed a lever with her
foot. The rake rose and dropped a long pile of hay onto the field. Then the
tines dropped down and gathered more hay.
After a while, Amy reached the end of the field. She turned
Little Jack and urged him down the field again, next to the piles of hay she
had already gathered. Each time she passed them, she pressed the lever and
dropped another load of hay next to the one she had made on the previous trip
down the field.
Long windrows formed until, finally, all the hay was
gathered into long rows stretching across the hay field.
Nora had driven the dump rake a time or two before. She knew
it wasn't easy to push the lever at the right moment. The first time she had
done it, her windrows had been crooked. Amy's were straight and even, each
stalk where it should be.
Tess wandered over, pitchfork already in hand. "She's
good at that." She nodded to Amy.
Shading her eyes with one hand, Nora watched as Amy lowered
the rake's teeth once again. She didn't try to hide her pride. "Yes, she
is."
"Luke mentioned that Amy is running the ranch until he
gets back," Tess said.
"We thought it might be a good test to see if she
really wants to take over the ranch one day."
Tess turned away from watching Amy and glanced at Nora.
"Luke would love that, wouldn't he?"
"Only if it's what Amy wants for herself."
"What do you think about it?" Tess's gaze probed
hers.
"With Luke as her parent, Amy grew up thinking that
it's all right for a woman to work with horses, ride the range, and make her
own decisions."
"And this was just Luke's influence?" Tess asked.
"No," Nora said. "I wanted this kind of
freedom for our daughters too. It's been wonderful to see my girls grow up into
strong young women." Her gaze slid to Nattie, who gestured at her
pitchfork as she explained something to Frankie.
"So that's a good thing, right?" Tess asked.
Nora looked at her old friend. "Yes, but the rest of
the world doesn't think so. You saw what happened with Adam. If Amy chooses to
take over the ranch, she won't have an easy life."
"Your life isn't exactly easy either," Tess said.
"Just because life isn't easy doesn't mean it can't be a happy life. Or do
you regret your decision to stay with Luke even after you found out about...
him?"
"No, of course not."
"But?"
So Tess could still read between the lines and interpret
what Nora didn't say. "Sometimes, I wonder if Luke is truly happy."
Blue eyes widened. "You've got to be kidding!"
Never voiced concerns clawed at Nora, finally wanting to be
spoken. "The life we built together, it's so fragile. Luke knows it could
be snatched away in a heartbeat, so I wonder if she ever lets herself be
completely happy."
"Are you saying you aren't happy?"
"No, God, no! It's just..." Sometimes, she sensed
the remaining tension in Luke, and it bothered her that she couldn't help her,
couldn't give her that complete peace and happiness.
"Sweetie." Tess dropped her pitchfork to clutch
Nora's hands. "I've known Luke for a lot of years, and he's never been so
at peace as when he's talking about his life with you."
The words eased Nora's worries, and she silently repeated
them to herself. "He?" She glanced over her shoulder. They were alone
on this part of the field, but Tess kept using male pronouns when she talked
about Luke.
"I know he's... she's a woman," Tess said, her
voice low, "but when Luke was with me..." She trailed off and shook
her head. "You don't want to hear this."
Part of her wanted to pretend Luke had never been with
anyone but her, but the bigger part of Nora wanted to learn whatever she could
about Luke and understand her even better than she already did. "I know
you and Luke were more than friends for a while." When Tess looked away, she
squeezed her hands. "I'm not jealous. I'm grateful you were there for her
when she thought no one would ever love her."
"And Luke was there for me when I thought no one would
ever love me," Tess said. At the mere mention of love, her gaze left Nora
and found Frankie.
Nora smiled. "So, what did you want to say about
Luke?"
"When I first met Luke, he... she..."
"It's all right." Nora touched Tess's forearm.
"Use whatever feels more natural to you. I know Luke wouldn't mind either
way."
"When I first met Luke, he was lonely, cut off from the
rest of the world by the need to hide and keep his distance. He was starved for
some human touch and affection, yet when he shared my bed..." Tess stopped
and looked at Nora as if to make sure she was still all right with hearing about
Luke's past with her.
Nora's gaze darted left and right, making sure no one was
within hearing distance; then she nodded at Tess. "Go on."
"Luke is a wonderful lover, as I'm sure you know."
A mischievous smile dimpled Tess's cheeks, and Nora felt heat suffuse her face.
"She didn't really know what to do with a woman, but she was gentle and
attentive. She came into my life at a time when I had already given up on that,
so what we had was special. But she rarely allowed me to touch her freely, to touch
her as I would another woman. I always got the feeling Luke was more
comfortable if I thought of him as a man — so I did."
It had been like that between Luke and her in the beginning
too.
"I take it it's not like that between the two of
you?" Tess leaned closer. "Does Luke allow you to caress her breasts,
to touch —"
"Lord, Tess!" Blood rushed to Nora's skin, and she
knew she was blushing bright red. None of the neighbor women talked about
intimate matters so openly.
As a matter of fact, they don't talk about it at
all. A lady isn't supposed to enjoy relations with her husband, much less talk
about it.
"What?" Tess chuckled. "You never used to
blush about these things."
Her life in Tess's brothel felt like a lifetime ago, and
Nora knew she wasn't the same woman anymore. "Yes." She rubbed the
tip of her ear, which was glowing. "But back then, we were talking about
the men who touched my body. Luke touches my heart and soul."
Tess pulled her into a quick hug. "I'm so happy for
you. And I'm sorry for asking about private matters between the two of
you."
"No, it's all right. You can ask. I know you ask
because you care about us."
"I do." With one last squeeze, Tess let go. The
grin returned to her face. "And you don't need to answer. Your blush
speaks for itself."
Again, Nora felt her cheeks grow warm, and she chuckled at
herself. "Yeah, well..."
"It's wonderful to know Luke trusts you enough to make
herself vulnerable and show you her female side."
It was wonderful. Nora loved the female side as much as the
Lucas Hamilton that Luke showed to the world. But old doubts remained, and
maybe it was finally time to share them with someone. "Sometimes, I wonder
if that kind of trust isn't making things harder for Luke."
"Harder?" Tess shook her head. "How could
that be?"
"Before I met Luke, there wasn't much difference
between how Luke was in private and how she acted around others. The life she
lived was that of a man — in almost every way." Seventeen years ago, small
children had terrified Luke. She hadn't known how to comfort Amy and stiffened
whenever Amy's little arms wrapped around her in a hug. Back then, Luke had
been cut off not just from other people, but from her own emotions.
Good
gracious, she didn't even name her horse, just because she thought it was
unmanly.
"And now?" Tess asked.
"And now Luke enjoys brushing my hair at night, she
cries in my arms when one of our horses dies, and sometimes, she comes home
with a bouquet of wildflowers and leaves little love notes for me all over the
house." Last night, she had found a romantic little note hidden in the
drawer that held her chemises. "And," she added with a hint of a
blush, "she enjoys it when I make love to her."
A frown deepened the lines on Tess's forehead. "I'd
think all of that would make Luke's life happier, not harder."
"Yes, but now she needs to pretend and lie more in the
rest of her life to hide that softer side. Now there are two Lukes, where
before, there was only one."
A golden-silver lock of hair tumbled from beneath Tess's
bonnet when she shook her head. "That part of Luke has always been there.
It's just been smothered and ignored all these years. Now for the first time,
Luke has someone in his life that he trusts enough to show both sides. Your
love isn't trapping Luke. It's freeing him."
"Hey, you two!" A pitchfork of hay rained down on
them.
Nora looked up and into Frankie's grinning face.
"Are you here to gab or to help with the haying?"
Frankie asked, one hand on her hip.
When Nora let her gaze wander over the field, she found that
Amy had finished raking. Now Toby drove the bigger buck rake along the rows of
hay and raked them into larger piles.
Tess stuck her tongue out at Frankie, making her look like a
little girl despite the gray streaks in her hair. "Gab."
Another forkful of hay hit Tess in the chest.
"Help." Frankie returned the playful grin.
Tess picked up her pitchfork and tossed hay in Frankie's
direction.
"Hey, what's going on?" Amy strode toward them.
"Mama, you did tell them that the hay is supposed to go in the wagon,
right?"
Nora laughed. It was good to have Tess back in her life.
Hank steered the wagon to the first big pile of hay, and
they pitched the hay into the wagon. The high end and front of the wagon
prevented the hay from tumbling out. Emmett climbed up, spread the hay evenly,
and packed it down to make room for more.
While Nora worked, she kept an eye on Amy to make sure
tossing up the hay didn't hurt her ribs. Amy never flinched. She took the time
to show Hendrika how to handle the pitchfork and pitch up the hay without losing
half of it.
After several piles of hay, the wagon was filled as high as
it could be.
"All right," Amy called. "Let's bring the
first load home."
* * *
"Whoa!" Hank called when the wagon rolled through
the big double doors of the barn. Right under the hay door that went up into
the loft, the wagon pulled to a stop.
Amy jumped down from the wagon. Before Emmett could do it,
she extended a hand to help Rika down.
Emmett climbed into the hayloft. From a track on the roof of
the barn, the hayfork was lowered into the wagon, and Hank guided it to grasp a
load of hay.
"Come on." Amy nudged Rika, who stared up into the
loft. "You can help me with the horses." Two geldings were already
harnessed to the rope that ran through a system of pulleys. "Grab his bridle."
They urged the horses forward, and the hay was lifted into
the loft.
Up in the loft, Emmett shouted, "Stop 'em!"
"Whoa!" Amy pulled the horses to a stop and
watched Rika tighten her grip on the gelding on her side.
They smiled at each other.
Hank pulled the rope that tripped the release. The hayfork
opened and dropped its load into the loft. While Hank directed the fork back
into the wagon, Amy turned the horses to heave up the next load.
After several repetitions, the wagon finally sat empty. A
sense of accomplishment swept over Amy, and she shook her head at herself.
It's
just the first load. Back to work.
She turned toward Hank. "You and
Emmett take the wagon back to the field. Rika and I will climb up and stack the
hay to make room for more."
The two men didn't hesitate to follow her orders. Within a
minute, the wagon rumbled out of the barn, leaving Amy and Rika behind.
"You up for it?" Amy pointed to the loft. Stowing
away the hay was hard work.
"Of course." Rika never shied away from any task.
It was part of what Amy liked about her.
Stifling hot air engulfed Amy as soon as she stuck her head
through the open hay door and pulled herself into the loft. The sun had been
standing high up in the sky for hours, and heat accumulated under the roof.
Sweat trickled down Amy's back, and she hadn't even picked up a pitchfork yet.
"What do I do?" Rika asked, pitchfork already in
hand.
The hayfork had dropped the hay in the middle of the loft,
and Amy pointed at the big pile. "We spread the hay and make sure to fill
the corners and edges of the loft, then we level it to make room for
more." To demonstrate, she stuck her pitchfork into the hay and lifted the
first forkful. Two quick steps and she dropped it neatly into one corner of the
hayloft.
They worked side by side, sometimes brushing against each
other when they walked back and forth between the corners and the big hay pile.
Heat raced along Amy's skin whenever that happened, and combined with the dusty
heat in the loft, it made her blood seem to boil. It was sweet torture, and Amy
berated herself but couldn't quite stop.