Holiday with a Stranger (10 page)

‘The Carlton Hotel. I need a drink.’

Josie would have preferred to head straight to the beach, but she didn’t want to get separated from him and find herself stranded. She’d decided in the car to go with whatever flow Connor chose today. That strategy seemed to have worked out pretty well so far.

Connor strode through the crowds, which parted to make way for him. He had such a dominating presence Josie wasn’t surprised people didn’t want to get in his path. There was a defiance about him that seemed to act like a force field, and apparently she wasn’t the only one to feel it. It felt good to walk beside him, as if he was her own private bodyguard.

They passed rows of designer shops, their windows all dressed with cutting-edge couture. Josie slowed down to gape at some of the crazy fashion on show.

‘Want to go shopping?’ Connor asked, a look of patent dread on his face.

She shook her head. ‘No, thanks. I suspect I’d regret paying five hundred euros for a T-shirt that’ll be out of fashion in a month.’

He swiped an exaggerated hand over his brow, the relief evident on his face.

They approached the magnificent frontage of the Carlton Hotel and he led her in through the terrace, where groups of fashionistas were soaking up the rays whilst sipping elegant-looking cocktails. Josie squeezed past the crowded tables, feeling the eyes of the patrons on her. Her earlier euphoria at being here evaporated. Dressed as she was, in shorts and a vest, she felt totally out of place. It had been so long since she’d gone to a bar like this one she’d forgotten how self-conscious they made her feel.

She was surprised Connor had chosen this place. Based on what she knew of him so far, she would have thought he’d be more at home in a dark, anonymous pub. But then she suspected she didn’t
really
know him. He hadn’t shown her his real self. It was all front and no substance. There was a private self in there somewhere that he wasn’t allowing out.

Josie followed Connor into the grand lounge, stopping at the entrance to take in the magnificent sight that met her while Connor went to the bar.

The high ceilings and large windows allowed the summer sun to flood into the room, striking the large pillars that ran through the middle of the space and reflecting light back from the subtle creams and yellows of the decor. Large chandeliers hung majestically above art-deco-inspired seating arrangements that were sparsely populated due to the lure of the sunlit terrace outside. The clientele obviously came to the Carlton to be seen rather than to appreciate the beautiful architecture of the building. A large black-lacquered grand piano in the middle of the room caught Josie’s eye and she became aware of her fingers as they twitched at her sides.

Connor approached carrying two drinks and handed one to her.

‘Champagne cocktail.’

The way he said it was halfway between an order and a dare. There was no way he was letting her get away with not drinking the proffered drink.

‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’

Connor smiled. ‘On one glass of champagne? Surely it takes more than that to get the better of you?’

He kept a straight face but the innuendo hung between them. Josie’s stomach did a double backflip as images from the night before ran through her mind. It had taken precious little persuasion to get the better of her
then
.

‘It takes a
lot
more than that,’ she bluffed, taking the drink from him with a slow smile. It was such fun flirting with him. ‘Thanks.’

He watched as she took a tentative sip and a shot of pure pleasure fizzed through her veins.

She didn’t normally drink much, having always been too busy to allow her control to slip and deal with the consequences. She didn’t have time for partying and hangovers, but all those curtailed birthday parties and missed nights out had left her with a dwindling base of friends whom she barely spoke to any more. She felt a twinge of shame at the thought. That definitely wasn’t something she was admitting to Connor.

‘Okay,’ he said, once she’d taken another sip, ‘go and play.’

‘What?’ Was he crazy?

‘The piano. Go and play. I know you’re desperate to. I saw that look of longing when you first came in.’

‘I can’t just sit down in a hotel lounge and start playing their piano.’ Her heart pounded at the thought of it. She never played for other people; it was something very private to her.

‘Of course you can.’

He took the drink from her quivering hand and gently pushed her towards the piano, his palm in the small of her back. Her skin burned under his touch.

‘No. Connor. Seriously, I can’t. I don’t play in public. I’m not that good.’ Her voice wobbled with nerves.

‘Who’s going to care?’ He gestured towards the one remaining couple in the lounge. They were deep in conversation at the other side of the room.

‘I know the bar staff here. They said it’s fine. Go ahead.’

Josie weighed up her options. There weren’t any. If she flat-out refused to play she’d ruin the companionable atmosphere they’d tentatively started to build between them. And if she was really honest with herself she did want to play; her fingers ached to touch the beautiful ivory keys, to caress their polished surface and make them sing. If only Connor wasn’t there watching her she’d be able to step out of herself and get lost in the music for a while.

She glanced up at him and he gave her a reassuring smile.

To hell with it. It didn’t matter what he thought. After last night there wasn’t much of herself left to expose to shame anyway.

‘Okay.’ She sat down on the stool and made herself comfortable.

He simply nodded and took a seat at a nearby table, twisting his glass between his fingers as he waited for her to start playing.

She felt his gaze on her as she collected her thoughts and tried to blank his presence out of her consciousness.

Not an easy task, given that her skin seemed to prickle with energy whenever he was nearby. He was not a man you could easily ignore.

The keys were cool and smooth under her fingers and she revelled in the sensation of them against her skin for a moment. She smiled to herself before moving her hands across the ivories.

* * *

Connor sat back in bemusement as the theme tune to
The Simpsons
flowed from beneath Josie’s fingers. That was the very last thing he’d expected her to play. He’d anticipated a well-executed piece of classical music to fit with the sombre atmosphere of the bar, but she’d gone for a comic, upbeat tune instead, almost in defiance of her surroundings. She was clearly teasing him.

Once again she’d proved herself to have hidden depths. He was beginning to doubt his judgement. Reading people was usually one of his strengths, but he was having real trouble with Josie. She surprised him at every turn.

She’d tied her hair back from her face today, and he watched her slim neck and shoulders glide from side to side as her fingers danced over the keys. The anxiousness in her body was gone, leaving only grace and elegance. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

Glancing back, she gave him a cheeky smile before seguing into a composition by Philip Glass—
Metamorphosis One
, a fitting choice. It was a haunting melody, heavy with longing. Mesmerised, he stared at her as she moved with the music, seemingly oblivious to anyone or anything else. He envied her that total absorption.

As he listened the music affected him in strange ways. Memories of them together in the farmhouse ran through his head: her delight at beating him at chess; the way she’d looked in just her underwear after he’d brought her in from the heat; how she’d felt in his arms when she’d finally started to trust him. His body stiffened at the memory and his throat grew tight.

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a small crowd of people begin to drift in from the terrace outside to listen to her play.

Jealousy hit him like a punch to the gut.

He didn’t want anyone else to be here. It was as if they were invading something private that was taking place between him and Josie. This performance should be just for him.

Unnerved again by the strange possessiveness he felt about her, Connor mentally shook himself and took another swig of his drink. What the hell was happening to him?

His pulse raced in his veins and his body temperature had risen to the point where he was drenched with perspiration. A heavy dread pulled at his head, like a lead weight dragging him down to the ground. Was this a panic attack? He hadn’t had one for years but he recognised the symptoms. His heart beat wildly in his chest and his breath caught painfully in his throat. He needed to get out of there—get some air and put some distance between them before she noticed what was happening to him.

* * *

Josie only became aware of her audience as she neared the end of the piece. She blushed fiercely at the attention, but managed to keep her concentration. Now was not the time to get the notes wrong. Searching around surreptitiously, she noticed Connor sneaking off towards the terrace, with a hard, uncomfortable look on his face.

Mortification hit her stomach with a thump. He obviously wasn’t impressed with her amateur attempt at a difficult piece of modern classical music. She’d pushed things too far, tried to be too clever, and she’d embarrassed herself—and him too, by the looks of it.

Even so, it was pretty rude to walk out before the end.

She clenched her arms hard to her sides, fighting an urge to slam the piano lid shut in her anger. It shouldn’t matter if he didn’t rate her playing, she reminded herself, but she realised with a slow, sinking sensation that she did care. She cared very much.

SEVEN

‘Okay, let’s go.’

Connor watched in surprise as Josie swept past him on the terrace, throwing the comment behind her without even a backward glance. Confusion and light-headedness from the attack made his reactions slow and it was a full five seconds before he realised she wasn’t waiting for him.

She was striding towards the Palace de Festival, her body tense and upright and her head held high.

Pulling himself together, he jogged after her, catching her up at one of the entrances to the beach.

‘Hey! Hey! Slow down. Where the hell are you going?’ He had to walk fast to keep up with her.

Josie didn’t even turn to look at him. ‘For a walk.’ She powered on, trying to outrun him, her neck and shoulders once again rigid and her face set in an angry frown.

‘Josie, for God’s sake, stop!’ He managed to get ahead of her and block her path, forcing her to slow down.

She glared at him. ‘Why did you make me do that?’

‘What? Play?’

‘Yes.’

‘It was good. It was...very accomplished.’

‘Sure—that’s why you left before the end of the piece.’

‘What? No... It wasn’t because... Ah, hell.’ He rubbed a hand over his eyes in frustration.

He’d just made everything so much worse. Now he owed her an explanation about why he’d walked out. How was he going to explain when he didn’t even know why he’d reacted like that himself?

‘Never mind. It doesn’t matter.’

She held up her hand as if to bat away any excuse he gave her, smiling calmly now, her cool disdain making him feel even worse.

‘I know I’m not that good. It must have been excruciating for you.’

Connor sighed and hooked his thumbs into the pockets of his shorts, his fingers curled hard into fists. ‘Look. I’m sorry I left. I needed some air and I didn’t think you’d mind. You seemed so engrossed.’

‘I don’t mind.’

She shrugged nonchalantly, but he detected a quiver in her voice.

Guilt slammed into him, bringing anger with it. His pulse beat a dangerously fast throb through his veins and his skin pricked with heat. There was nothing he hated more than feeling guilty.

* * *

Josie watched in dismay as Connor’s eyes flared with irritation.

‘What do you want from me? Want me to tell you again how amazingly talented you are?’

‘No...no, of course not. I...’ She was shaken by his coldness. ‘I don’t want anything from you.’

She did, though. She wanted him to be impressed; to tell her she was talented, attractive, smart. It mattered to her what he thought.

A hot flush made its way up her neck. She’d been so overtaken with the joy of playing and losing herself in the music that she’d let her heart rule her head there for a while. She’d imagined that she and Connor were beginning to understand each other, but she’d been wrong. The disappointment weighed heavy.

They were both breathing rapidly from the fast pace she’d set and the side effects of their anger. Josie watched Connor’s chest rise and fall, unable to look him in the face. She felt like an idiot. Again. Before meeting Connor she’d been the Queen of Cool around men, totally in control of her emotions and on top of every situation, and she’d stupidly thought she could handle him. But she was well out of her depth.

‘Hey.’ He moved in towards her, putting a hand lightly on her arm.

She looked up to see that the anger had drained from his face. A pulse beat in her throat as his gaze locked onto hers.

Josie took a deep breath. ‘I want to go for a walk on the beach.’

She had to get away from his hypnotising gaze. If she didn’t she’d probably end up making an even bigger fool of herself. She could still feel where his touch had brushed her arm. She ached for him to hold her again; she wanted that connection they’d had last night but had no idea how to get it back.

Connor nodded. ‘Look, I’m sorry. I guess I’m on edge.’ He rubbed a hand over his jaw. ‘I’ll come with you. A bit of fresh air would be good for us both right now.’

His mouth smiled, though his eyes didn’t. Was he already regretting this fling? Her stomach writhed in discomfort, a mass of snakes slithering in her belly.

They took the next opening in the wall down onto the sand and strolled in silence for a while, listening to the rush of the waves against the beach. It was busy on the dry sand with sunbathing holidaymakers, so they walked next to the sea, where the ground was damp. Josie slipped off her shoes, finding relief in the coolness against the hot soles of her feet.

‘How long have you been playing?’ Connor asked, breaking the tense silence that had fallen between them.

‘A few years.’

‘Right.’ He nodded. ‘It had real warmth. It took me by surprise,’ he said, not meeting her gaze but instead looking off out to sea. ‘Your playing doesn’t fit with the rest of you. It’s like you let go of what keeps you so on edge.’

Josie stopped and looked at him, an eyebrow raised. ‘That sounded suspiciously like a compliment. Except for the on edge bit.’

The corner of his mouth turned up and he huffed out a laugh. ‘Look, I’m sorry, Josie. I’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind. I wasn’t expecting all this.’ He waved his hands around in the air.

‘All what? This trip? Or the whole finding me naked in your bed thing?’

‘The naked thing.’ Throwing her a tight grin, he gestured to a free area of dry sand behind them. ‘Want to sit for a minute?’

This all felt suspiciously as if it was leading up to a brush-off conversation and her skin prickled with nerves. Perhaps she should try nipping this whole thing in the bud first, to save them the awkward conversation he seemed to be building up to. She had to be in control of this thing or it had the potential to get messy very quickly.

She dropped onto the sand and grabbed a handful, concentrating all her attention on it as it flowed out through her fingers.

Be cool, Josie. Be cool.

‘You know, it’s fine if you don’t want to take things any further. I understand. You’re heading off soon and you’re a busy man. Let’s just call last night a glitch.’

He frowned. ‘A glitch?’

‘Yes.’

He was silent for a while.

‘Abi’s been such a good friend to me. I can’t believe I shagged you when you won’t even speak to her,’ she said to cover the awkwardness, aiming for conviviality but failing miserably.

Connor’s voice was hard. ‘Who you shag has nothing to do with her.’

‘But it seems so...disrespectful.’

He grinned at her and her stomach dropped to the ground.

‘You’re so prim. Don’t get me wrong. I find it a huge turn-on.’

He really needed to stop flirting with her if he wasn’t up for more shenanigans. Perhaps a question more close to the bone would remind him of that.

‘Are you ever going to tell me
why
you won’t see you own sister?’

He turned to study her for a second. ‘You’re not going to drop this, are you?’

‘No.’

He continued to look at her, his eyes searching for something in hers—a trap, perhaps? She’d never met anyone so guarded.

‘What the hell?’ He shrugged. ‘Makes no difference to me anyway.’ He ran his fingers through his hair. ‘You know about my parents?’

‘Sure—they used to own the Magnetica Corporation.’

‘Right. It used to be a thriving company. They made cassette tapes, then video tapes, right up until the early nineties when they were all the rage.’

‘Yeah, I remember seeing their adverts on TV at Christmas.’

Connor let out a low, hard laugh and dug his feet into the soft sand. ‘Yeah, well... One of the reasons they were so successful was because both of my parents worked there all the time. And I mean
all
the time.’

He paused, but Josie didn’t want to butt in. She let the silence hang, sliding her fingers through the sand for something to do.

‘So Abigail and I spent most of our time with an ever-changing succession of nannies and au pairs. We were purely fashion accessories to our parents. We barely saw them, or each other. They sent us to separate schools. The only person who had any time for us was our grandmother. We spent our holidays with her. She left us the farmhouse in her will when she died. I was eighteen and Abigail was sixteen when we lost her. She didn’t agree with the way our parents had brought us up—she believed children needed their mother and father. It caused a huge rift between them. They were practically estranged by the time she died.’

Josie nodded, eager for him to continue. This went part way to explaining why he was such an independent character and why he’d been so hard on her when they’d first talked about her career.

‘Magnetica had started to lose money a little while before our grandmother died. The digital revolution was beginning and the stuff my parents manufactured was becoming obsolete. They’d planned poorly for the future and found themselves in money trouble. We, apparently, were their way out of debt. My grandmother was a rich woman—she just didn’t flaunt it like my parents did. She left most of her money to me and the remainder to Abigail, but left our parents nothing. I think they were banking on the inheritance to get their business out of trouble. So they put pressure on us to invest in their company. Nobody else would touch them with a bargepole. They wanted control of the money. We were in the way.’

‘But you didn’t agree to it?’

‘I refused to help. My grandma had made Abigail and me promise not to give them a penny. It was really important to her they didn’t get their hands on it. I already had plans for the money. I wanted to do some good with it. There were people starving in the world—dying from drinking filthy water, for God’s sake. Personal entertainment didn’t rank highly on my list of priorities.’

‘So what happened?’

He dug his feet deeper into the sand. ‘Abigail buckled under the pressure and agreed to use her share to help my parents out. She backed them up when they put pressure on me to do the same. Basically, it was made clear that if I didn’t help them out financially I wouldn’t be welcome in the family any more.’

Josie stared at him, aghast. ‘That doesn’t sound like the Abigail I know.’

Connor looked at her steadily. ‘You think I’m lying?’

The tone of his voice was so scornful she felt a flash of alarm.

‘Of course not,’ she said hurriedly. ‘I just can’t reconcile it with the woman I know, that’s all.’

He leant back on his elbows and looked out to sea. ‘She had some crazy idea that my parents would suddenly realise what a crappy job they’d done raising us and it would all be rainbows and fairy dust if we handed over our inheritance. When I wouldn’t, she stood back and watched them cut me out of the family.’

‘I don’t understand why Abi would do that to you.’

He shrugged. ‘She wanted an easy life. And I guess she was jealous I’d got more of the inheritance than she had. Perhaps she was trying to level things out. I don’t know.’

Josie stared at him. His face was expressionless, as if he’d locked his feelings about the whole mess down tight—as if this was just some ordinary story he was recounting. His coldness disturbed her. If he could be this way about his family—the people he was supposed to love unconditionally—how would he deal with the ups and downs of a relationship with a lover? Another strike against him.

‘And you’ve never spoken to any of them again?’

He shrugged. ‘Abigail’s tried to contact me over the years, but I’m not interested. She burnt that bridge long ago by siding with them.’ His expression hardened, his brow furrowing and his lips thinning. ‘My parents are dead now—but you knew that, right?’

Sitting up, he picked up a small stone and threw it hard into the sea, where it disappeared with a
plop
.

She nodded, remembering Abi having time off a year ago when her mother had passed away after losing her battle with cancer. ‘Well, I imagine Abi regrets what happened now.’

‘I should think so. The business went bankrupt so she’ll have lost the lot.’

There wasn’t a flicker of concern in his tone.

Josie knocked the sand off her hands and rubbed her fingers across her forehead to relieve the sudden pressure there, sadness surging through her for them both. How awful to be made to pick sides like that. No wonder he was so emotionally detached.

‘Will you ever give Abi a chance to explain?’

‘Why would I? I have no interest in seeing her again.’

She could see why Abi was resigned to him never letting her back into his life; he was so single-minded about it. This inflexibility unnerved her; it double-proved him to be a dangerous person to get involved with, but she still ached to be able to help both him and his sister in some way.

Her self-preservation mode kicked in before she had time to analyse her feelings fully.

‘You really are one stubborn son of a bitch, you know,’ she blurted, immediately regretting the bite of anger in her voice.

He just looked at her for a beat, then shrugged, his face blank of emotion. His ability to lock down so tight was chilling.

‘Do you think we should end this thing between us?’ she asked, bracing herself for the affirmative.

‘Do you?’

She paused. On one hand she didn’t think she could stand being around him, allowed only to look and not touch—not when she knew how great it could be with him. It would be torture. On the other it would be the shrewdest thing to do. She was already having trouble dealing with the crazy mess of emotion he was stirring in her and this was
not
what she’d signed up for.

Take control, Josie.

‘Perhaps it would be for the best.’

He grunted and shook his head, then shrugged again. ‘Fine.’ Standing up, he offered her his hand and pulled her to stand. ‘Let’s go home,’ he said wearily.

* * *

They were both quiet for the journey home. Connor had put the roof up on the car, enclosing them in their own uncomfortably intimate world. Without anything else to do, Josie ran over and over their earlier conversation in her head until she thought she’d go crazy with it.

She was hyper-aware that she’d ruined his fun trip to the seaside by bringing her self-esteem issues along for the ride. No wonder she’d been single for so long. She had no idea how to handle herself in these sorts of situations.