Home Alone 3 (6 page)

And then there was the deal with the car battery, the jumper cables, and the metal lawn chair.

It took hours to set everything up. Fortunately the Pruitts' house was so old it was equipped with a dumbwaiter, a miniature elevator that worked on electricity. It wasn't made to carry people, but a small adult could squeeze inside if they wanted to. With the dumbwaiter Alex could move heavy things like the barbells and the books from the basement to the attic.

When he was finished, he crawled into bed and spread some balls of yarn, a small coil of fine wire, and a knitting bag around him.

The last thing he did was watch the weather channel.

That big storm was coming.

Alex's eyelids grew heavy. He yawned and slid under the covers. It was time to sleep.

At the regional bureau of the FBI in San Francisco, Bureau Director Albert Stuckey was just about to turn off his light and go home when his door opened and the young agent named Rogers came in with a sheet of paper. "This just came for you, sir. It's from the Air Force."

Stuckey took the sheet of paper. It was a fax about a child calling a recruiting office in Chicago about an Axus Defense microchip. He looked up at Rogers. "Did you read this?"

"Yes, sir." Rogers nodded stiffly.

"I know it concerns the stolen Axus chip," Stuckey said, "but it's from a kid."

"I think it's the serial number on the chip that piqued their interest, sir," Rogers replied.

Stuckey looked down at the fax and read the serial number the kid had given the recruiter. Then he looked through the folders on his desk until he found the report of the stolen chip. He compared the two serial numbers.

They were identical.

Son of a gun!

Stuckey looked up. "Are you married, Rogers?"

Agent Rogers scowled. "Yes, sir, why?"

"Because you're about to call your wife and tell her you won't be home tonight," Stuckey said, sliding the fax into the Axus Defense file.

"May I ask where I'll be, sir?" Rogers inquired.

"You'll be on a flight to Chicago with me," Stuckey replied.

The next morning, Alex sat by his window and watched Alice, wearing her jogging suit, come up the street walking the dog. The gang was starting its attack bright and early, just as he expected. He went over to his dresser and opened a drawer, pulling out a silver dog whistle.

Back at the window, he blew hard on the whistle. He couldn't hear the sound the whistle made, but the dog's ears instantly perked up. Alex smiled to himself. It worked.

He left his room and went into his parents' room. He could hear his mother in the shower. Molly and Stan had already left for school. Alex unplugged the phone jack and went back out.

Downstairs, he hid behind the living room curtain and watched Alice come up the walk and onto the front porch. She pushed the doorbell, but no one inside heard it because Alex had wired it into the phone lines.

Meanwhile, Alex blew the dog whistle.

The dog got up and came toward the living room.

Alex jumped up and dashed into the dining room where he blew the whistle again.

Now the dog trotted over to the dining room, making a loop with the leash around Ahce's legs.

Alex repeated the process.

Now the leash looped twice around Alice's legs.

Alex smiled to himself. It was time to free the hostages. He snuck out the back of the house and

around to the side of the porch. Alice was still standing there waiting, unaware that the dog leash was now looped twice around her ankles.

Alex blew as hard as he could on the dog whistle.

Woof!
The dog barked and took off.

"Ahhhhh!"
The leash went tight around Alice's feet.

Wham!
She hit the porch floor and was dragged down the steps and through the shrubs by the excited dog. Finally he broke away from

the leash, leaving Alice in a pile of snow at the far end of the driveway.

Alex dashed arouad the back of his house and inside, locking the door behind him. He went back to the living room window and peeked outside. Alice staggered to her feet and spit out a mouthful of pine needles. Her face was muddy, her hair was a mess, and her jogging suit was ripped.

Alex was fascinated by the elaborate concoction of cables and wires and electronic devices that poured out of one hole in her suit. He'd never seen anything so high-tech.

"Did you watch the weather for me like I asked?" his mother asked.

Alex spun around. His mom was coming down the stairs, dressed for work.

"Sure did, Mom," Alex said. "It shouldn't be a problem."

"Good." His mother went to the front closet.

"Wait, Mom, your coat's on the chair," Alex said.

"I want to wear my nice coat today," she said.

Alex couldn't let her open the closet. He dashed across the foyer and beat her to the closet door. "Why don't you go fill your commuter cup with yummy hot coffee," he said. "I'll bring your coat to you."

His mom stopped. "That's sweet, Alex. Thank you." She turned and headed for the kitchen.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief. He carefully opened the closet door, then jumped away as an old leather boxing glove shot out. He got his mother's good coat, then "reloaded" the closet and closed the door.

Alex brought the coat into the kitchen.

"Thanks, hon." His mom finished her coffee, then took the coat and pulled it on. Alex followed her to the back door. His mom kneeled down in front of him.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry about this week," she said, softly stroking his head. "It breaks my heart that I have to keep coming and going like

this. It shouldn't be this way."

"It's okay," Alex said. "It's not you. It's the times."

"This is for you," his mom reached into her pocket and took out a beeper, which she clipped to his waist. "Promise me you'll wear it?"

"I will." Alex nodded.

"I'm going to call every half hour," Mrs. Pruitt said. "I'll go on-line with you and hold the connection open all day. I'll have my laptop with me in all my meetings. We'll be connected at all times. I'll also have my cell phone, and you know my fax number."

"We're wired," Alex said. But he knew she would get busy and distracted at work and probably forget to call. In fact, he
hoped
that would happen.

She kissed him. On the forehead, of course. And started to get up. Then she stopped. "Oh, my gosh! Did Mrs. Clovis call? She said she was going to come by before I left for work. She just wanted to make sure that Bradley's name wasn't on that car."

"She came while you were in the shower," Alex said.

"Did you give it to her?" his mom asked.

Alex nodded. "Big time."

"I hope she felt foolish," Mrs. Pruitt said.

"It was painful," Alex confirmed.

"Okay." His mom picked up her laptop computer and briefcase. "Be good. Be safe. And keep an eye on the old place."

"I have it all covered," Alex assured her.

Alex watched his mom head out toward the garage. It was starting to snow. She got into her car and started to back it down the driveway. At one point she stopped just to wave one last time at Alex. From inside the house, Alex blew her a kiss and watched her head off down Washington Street.

Then Alex stood alone in the kitchen and looked around. This was it. He was on his own. Unless you included Doris the rat and Stan's parrot.

For a moment he felt very alone and vulnerable. Through the kitchen window he could see his snow fort in the backyard. He wished he could just crawl inside it and hide. But he couldn't do that and protect his house. Besides, there was more work to be done.

On the front porch he hid a big puddle of marbles under the welcome mat. He stood some old ski poles on either side of the front steps and strung some yarn in between them. He hid a thin copper wire inside the yarn, then connected the end of the wire to an extension cord, which he plugged into an outlet.

In the backyard he set up Stan's trampoline under the attic dormer window and over the pool, and put some old Christmas trees on the pool cover. The snow was falling faster now and soon the whole pool cover would be blanketed. It would look like the trampoline was resting on solid ground.

Then he took some old snow and made the outline of a kidney-shaped pool somewhere else in the yard. He put pool furniture around it to make it look like a pool was there.

Next it was time to create his own headquarters. He set up the 8-millimeter video camera, as well as two older full-sized VHS models, and wired them all to old televisions in the attic. Now he had his own video security system monitoring all the entrances to the house.

Pretty good for an eight-year-old.

He waited for the burglars to arrive.

First a car pulled up and stopped in the alley behind Alex's house. Alex watched as two men got out. They were both wearing camouflage suits, but Alex still recognized them. One was Jernigan, the driver from the day before, the other was Unger, the one who'd pretended to be an old guy. Alex winced when he noticed that both guys were wearing ammo belts loaded with ammunition.

The other two burglars must have been on the move, too. Alex crossed to the other side of the attic and looked out the window and down at the street. There they were, walking up the street. Alice had changed out of her torn jogging outfit and was now dressed in a white snowmobile suit. Beaupre was wearing one, too, and carrying a briefcase.

Alex wondered what their plan was. Were they just going to walk up to the front door and knock?

Then he saw something he didn't want to see. It was old Mrs. Hess, coming out of her house wearing her housedress and thin sweater.

Peter Beaupre was delighted to see Mrs. Hess come out of her house. The timing couldn't have been better. There was no way they could take care of the Pruitt kid with that old bag sitting in her house across the street watching.

He nudged Alice with his elbow. "Look who's coming out to get the paper:"

Alice smiled. "Shall we go say hello?"

"Definitely," Beaupre agreed.

They walked up to Mrs. Hess. The old lady had a sour look on her face. They would have to handle this carefully. They couldn't just grab the old hag and drag her back into her house. Who knew who might be watching. Instead they would simply have to be very persuasive.

"Good afternoon" Alice said.

Mrs. Hess looked at them and frowned.

"My husband and I just moved into the neighborhood,'' Alice said. "We're renting the Crays' house on Jefferson."

Mrs. Hess looked at her like she was crazy. "What do you want from me? A Wilkie button?"

Beaupre stepped forward. "We were supposed to have an important package delivered to us, ma'am. But apparently the driver got confused. We thought maybe he brought the package here, since you have the same address on Washington as we have on Jefferson."

"Nobody brought anything here," Mrs. Hess said.

"We checked with the delivery company," Beaupre said. "They told us no one was home so the driver left it in the garage."

Mrs. Hess shook her head. "Not
my
garage."

"It was the day before yesterday," Beaupre pressed on. "About the middle of the day. Were you home then?"

Mrs. Hess thought for a moment, then shook her head.

"My husband is an entomologist," Alice said. "The package contains several thousand deadly parasitic worms from Central America."

"They carry some dreadful diseases," Beaupre added. "It's really important that I find it."

Mrs. Hess rolled her eyes to make sure they caught her profound disgust. "All right. Come take a look. Let me open my garage for you."

Alice took Mrs. Hess gently by the arm as if to help her back up the driveway. Beaupre followed, lagging behind.

"Of all the people in the world, I have to marry a man who's interested in parasitic insects," Alice said with a wistful sigh. "My mother asked why it couldn't have been a nice lawyer or a policeman."

Beaupre lagged farther behind. He knew Alice would take care of the old lady.

Meanwhile, Alice and Mrs. Hess reached the garage. Mrs. Hess opened it, then turned around. "Where's your husband?"

"Oh, he had to go take care of something," Alice said, calmly pulling out a gun. "Make a noise and I'll make a louder one with this gun."

Mrs. Hess began to tremble. "Wha-what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to sit in that chair," Alice said, pointing with the gun at a lawn chair being stored for the winter in the garage.

Mrs. Hess obediently sat down. Alice took out some surgical tape and taped the old lady's mouth.

"Here's a thought for your next life," Alice said sweetly. "At airport security, always make sure you have the right package."

The old lady's forehead bunched up as she started to figure out what was going on. Meanwhile, Alice tied her arms and legs to the chair.

"Oh, and one other thing," Alice said. "I sure hope you weren't fond of the little Pruitt boy who lives across the street."

In the attic Alex had watched Beaupre and Alice head for Mrs. Hess.

Now what? He'd wondered as he watched them stop and talk to the old lady.

The conversation seemed to go on for a while with Mrs. Hess shaking her head and giving the two burglars suspicious looks. Alex couldn't imagine what kind of lines they were feeding her.

Finally Mrs. Hess seemed to change her mind. She led Alice up her driveway and let her look in her garage. Meanwhile Beaupre lagged behind, then changed direction and headed across the street toward Alex's house.

Alex remembered the other two burglars and quickly checked his TV screens. At that very moment, the guy in the driveway, Unger, was bending over the yarn Alex had strung. Unger had a pair of wire cutters in his hands. He was looking at a sign Alex had written and placed next to the yarn. The sign said: