Home to You (17 page)

“Did you see that?” I yelled, not sure if I wanted to laugh or cry.
 

A second later, he was in front of me, lifting me from the water, spinning me around in his arms. “I knew you could do it.”
 

I held on to him, feeling giddy as I lifted my face to the sky and let the sun warm me.
 

He slid me to the ground, but his arms remained at my waist. “You did it.”
 

His jaw tightened, and his eyes met mine. The mood shifted from elation to that of anticipation, and I licked the water from my lips, wanting desperately to kiss him.
 

He looked from my eyes to my mouth—and then a second wave crashed over us, sweeping me off my feet and dragging both me and my board at least five feet back to shore. When I finally caught my footing, Jake was on his knees, pushing his drenched hair from his face. Our eyes locked, and we both began to laugh. “Can we go again?” I asked, not ready to acknowledge what just happened, not wanting to read into everything like I always did.
 

It was just after noon when we finally climbed out of the water. All my muscles aching from overuse when we finally dropped our boards in the sand and made our way to camp. I peeled the wetsuit from my body, plopped down on the sun-warmed blanket, and felt both exhausted and happier than I had in years. “I had no idea surfing was so exhilarating.” I rolled to my stomach and looked up at Jake. “Why has it taken you so long to teach me?”  

He shrugged. “You’d have to ask Dave about that. I think he was worried you’d mess up his game.”  

I laughed and flipped over on my back again, shielding my eyes from the sun. “Well, I’m glad you took me.”
 

The beach was practically secluded, and I dug my feet into warm sand. The crashing waves roared a hypnotic rhythm, and I felt Jake sit down on the blanket beside me. He pushed something small and smooth into the palm of my hand, and I opened my eyes to see a piece of aqua blue sea glass resting there.
 

“How pretty.” I squinted over at him, then tried to give it back.

He shook his head. “Keep it. So you never forget.”
 

I smiled, and played with it in my hand a minute. How could I ever forget? But something in his expression made my chest ache. He looked almost sad. What had he meant by that?
 

Just when I was about to ask, the sun disappeared, and I heard that old familiar voice I would’ve recognized anywhere.
 

“Why if it isn’t Little Katie McGregor?”

A smile tugged at my lips, and I called back, “Justin Harting—the heartbreaker.”
 

JAKE STOOD, IMMEDIATELY GIVING JUSTIN a firm hug, and I rose to an elbow, smiling up at the face I’d always known as the mischief maker. He was just the same—short cropped hair, hazel eyes, and a smile designed to break hearts.  

“Jake told me you were coming,” I said.
 

Justin pulled me to stand and threw an arm over my shoulder. “And he told me you’ve been back since Saturday.”
 

I shook my head and wrinkled my nose at the sun.
 

“So does this mean we get to keep you? Or are you planning to run away again?”

I cleared my throat and studied him. I didn’t know he thought of my move as running away. “Oh, shut up.” I pushed playfully at his stomach.
 

He laughed again and ruffled my hair. “How’s life been treating you, kid?”

I took in a deep breath and glanced over at Jake.
Had he told him about Kevin?
 

Justin eyed me warily. “What? Am I missing something?”

Jake gave me a reassuring smile, then backed toward the ocean. “You guys catch up, I’m gonna go cool off.”  He picked up his board, then ran toward the waves.
 

“What was that about?” Justin asked.

I shook my head, knowing Jake was giving me privacy so I could tell him, but I wasn’t ready for that. Justin nudged me with one shoulder, and I laughed.
 

“So, I hear you’re getting married?”
 

“Yep,” he replied, squinting at me against the sun, “she’s not even pregnant either.”
 

I laughed, grateful he didn’t push me and because that was such a Justin thing to say. “I didn’t think—”

“I know.” He smiled. “But most people do. She’s
it
for me, Katie.”   

The way he said it made me smile. There was so much adoration in that single word.
It
. That was all I’ve ever wanted to be. Someone’s it… Jake’s it… so stupid. I walked over to my shorts lying on the blanket and tucked the sea glass into its pocket before turning to face him again. “So do I get to meet her?”  

“Yeah, she’ll be along shortly. She’s meeting me here after work.”  

“What’s her name?”
 

He looked shy, something I’d never seen in him before. I bumped his shoulder.
 

“Kimberly. Kimberly Porter.”

“Soon to be Mrs. Harting” He grinned from ear to ear, like he’d just won the lottery. “Awww…I’m so excited for you.” I gave him another nudge.  

He laughed. “So what’s going on with you? Jake tells me you’re still doing photography?”

“Yeah, weddings actually.” I raised my brows.
 

“Oh, perfect. Kimberly keeps talking about engagement photos, do you do that too?” 

I nodded.

“Well, you guys will have to set something up when she gets here. But for now,” his expression grew serious, “I want to hear more about you.”
 

I sat back to the blanket, my stomach twisting the way it always did when I faced an uncomfortable conversation. “There’s really not much to tell. I guess you could say I’m starting over,” I rolled my eyes, “again.”  

“Nothing wrong with that.” He plopped down next to me and searched my face. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” I hesitated, “it seems I’m an asshole magnet.”

He crinkled his nose as he looked out to the ocean. “Jake mentioned something about that.”

All smiles were gone now, just like I feared. “When did you talk to Jake?”
 

“Last night when he woke me up.”
 

“Oh God, Justin. I’m sorry!”

He grinned, then looked out to the ocean again. “He looks happy.”
 

I followed his line of vision and watched Jake paddle out past the breakwaters.  

“He was pretty messed up after Dave died.”  

My throat tightened and I nodded. “We all were.” I wasn’t sure where he was going with this conversation, and began making circles in the sand with my finger.
 

“True—but he got worse after you left.” There was an edge to his voice that twisted my gut.  

I swallowed and looked back toward Jake. “What do you mean?” I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know. I didn’t like to hear about Jake hurting.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Lots of drinking—I probably shouldn’t even be telling you this.” He nudged me. “But that was a long time ago.”
 

I took a deep breath and pushed down the guilt that bubbled to the surface. I’d been selfish when I left. So consumed with my own grief, with rejection, that I couldn’t even see how much pain he was in. That he was hurting so badly he turned to drinking even months after Dave’s death.
 

Justin leapt to his feet, startling me. “There’s Kimberly.” He jogged toward a petite brunette, whose arms were loaded with plastic bags. “Hey baby!” he called, then lifted her in his arms and kissed her firmly on the mouth. It reminded me of a love scene from a movie, and I averted my eyes to give them privacy—but the truth was, I still needed a moment to collect my thoughts.
 

Jake still bobbed up and down in the surf, and I couldn’t stop myself from watching him. There was no use dwelling on the past, but I couldn’t help feeling a little guilty about what I left behind when I moved to San Diego.
 

A minute later, Kimberly and Justin walked toward me, and I rose to my feet and dusted sand from my now-dry legs. She smiled and raised grocery bags of food to the air. “I hope y’all are hungry!”
 

Ten minutes later, all four of us sat on the blanket eating a picnic of fried chicken, potato salad, and watermelon.
 

“This is wonderful, Kimberly. Thank you,” I said.
 

“Well, I love feedin’ people, so get used to it.”   

I smiled, my eyes flashing from her to Justin. “Now it all makes sense.”
 

“What?” He grinned, like he knew there was a catch.
 

“This is how you got Justin to fall in love with you.”

Her face lit up when she laughed. “He does like to eat.” She looked to Justin, then back to me and Jake. “Justin told me about all the trouble he used to get in with ya’ll.”

“Oh no.” My eyes settled on Jake as nervous flutters teased my belly.
 

“What exactly did he tell you?” Jake asked.
 

“Oh, something about you boys tyin’ up poor Katie at the back of the yard ’cause she kept interrupting you playin’ video games.”  

Her eyes were full of mischief, and I couldn’t contain my laughter. I elbowed Jake. “It’s true. They were so mean to me.”
 

“
We
were mean? Who was the one who ruined our comic books by coloring all over them with lipstick?” Jake protested.
 

“That was only because you drew mustaches on our Barbies with permanent marker!” I stuck my chest out, daring him to disagree with me.

He opened his mouth to argue, then stopped. “Okay, we were pretty mean, but you were so cute when you were angry.” He winked at me. “A ball of fire, pigtails, and overalls.”
 

Kimberly eyed us curiously. “How long have y’all been together?”
 

I cleared my throat and brushed some imaginary food from my mouth. “Oh, we’re not together.” My chest tightened, and I glanced back to Jake.

“I’m sorry, I just assumed.” Kimberly looked down and her cheeks grew red.
 

I shook my head in an “it’s nothing” kind of way, but the silence that fell over the group proved otherwise.
 

Jake placed his empty plate to the side of the blanket, then sat forward and rested his arm on his knee. “Did Justin ever tell you he’s afraid of ghosts?” His tone was deadpan, and Justin burst into fits of laughter.

 
I chewed my inner cheek, then smiled, and started laughing too.
 

We spent the rest of the afternoon joking and playing around in the surf, and it was nearly sunset by the time we had everything packed and loaded in the truck. I dusted as much sand from my body as possible, then climbed into the cab of Jake’s truck to get settled for the long drive home. Kimberly appeared at my window to ask for my number, but my eyes were locked on Justin as he pulled Jake off to the side.
 

“—someone’s going to get hurt.” Justin’s voice was a forced whisper, which of course piqued my curiosity.
 

“I know what I’m doing,” Jake replied, and I got the sinking feeling he was talking about us.

“Yeah, like you did three years ago?” It was Justin again, which didn’t surprise me. He was always the one to get involved in everyone else’s business.
 

Justin glanced up, and I looked down at Kimberly’s phone pretending to punch in numbers.
 

His voice lowered. “You’re leading her on and you know it—”
 

Jake pulled on his arm, and they both moved farther down the road where the sound of cars blocked their voices, and I could no longer hear what was going on.

I handed the phone back to Kimberly, whose eyes met mine, and I knew she’d overheard too.
 

The ride home was relatively quiet, which gave me time to consider all that was said. I was positive Justin had been talking about me—there was really no other explanation—and I knew he was right about the flirtation. It had to stop. I was treading in deep waters, and soon I wouldn’t be able to hold my head up any longer. I needed to protect my heart, and I wasn’t a good enough swimmer to come up for air if I were to sink again. I rested my head against the warm glass of my window, and my body sagged with defeat.
 

“Close your eyes, it’s been a long day.”  

I glanced over at Jake, to the bits of sand that still lingered in his messy hair, his face bronze from spending the day in the sun, and the lips I was so tempted to kiss earlier. My heart squeezed. I couldn’t let myself get close to him again. As good as it felt, our closeness was what led to all my heartache, and I couldn’t survive that again.
 

With my head still resting against the window, and one foot tucked under me in the seat, I closed my eyes, and let my mind drift.
 

When we came to a stop an hour later, I opened my eyes, realizing we were already home. My face was tucked into his shoulder, my body plastered to his side, and I wiped my mouth, hoping I hadn’t been drooling.