Honor Reclaimed (All About Honor) (20 page)

He knocked on the adjoining door and
when he did not get a response, he tried to open the door, but found it locked
from her side.
 
The locked door
proved to be no barrier as he made short work of it, knocking it open with one
swift kick.
 
Eirian lay on her bed
drenched in sweat.
 
Her hair and
her gown were both plastered to her body.
 
He hurried across the room and placed his hand on her forehead.
 
She was burning with fever.
 
She must have caught whatever he
had.
 
It was his turn to take care
of her.
 
What a
bittersweet duty that would be.

“Sweetheart, I have to cool you
down.
 
I am going to remove your
gown.
 
Please forgive me if it
embarrasses you.”
 
He sat her up in
bed and gently peeled the gown from her drenched body.
 
Dropping the gown on the floor, he
reached for the cloth lying next to the basin at her bedside.
 
He began with her face, mopping the
perspiration from her brow.
 
He
then ran the cloth over her upper chest.
 
Lowering the sheet he steeled himself to wash her breast.
 
He tried to suppress his arousal that
began as he made note of the soft coral pink nipples.
 
His mouth watered with the need to taste them, but he would
not stoop to that level, preferring to maintain his honor and to resist the
temptation to betray his friend.
 
He continued to work his way down her body slowly lowering the sheet in
order to attempt to cool her body.
 
It was then that he noticed the bruises, obviously those of thumbprints,
on her sides.
 
He rolled her over
and sure enough there were the opposing fingerprints where she had been
forcibly held down.
 
He felt a wave
of shame wash over him.
 
At the
very least, he had attempted to rape her.
 
Pulling the sheet the rest of the way down he saw the bruises left by
his hands as he had forced her leg apart.
 
The final damning evidence was discovered on her inner thigh, just below
her mound, where he had given her a love bite that left a deep reddish purple
bruise.
 
There could no longer be
any doubt about what had transpired.
 
In his delirium he had lived out his fantasy and had made love to his
best friend’s wife.
 
No, he had to
be honest, the bruises told a different story.
 
He had not made love to her; he had forced himself on her.

He could not undo what was done, but
he could take care of her the way she had taken care of him and he could do it
without taking further advantage of her.
 
He would do his best to preserve her dignity.
 
She need never know that he recalled what had happened.
 
Eventually, they would return to their
normal lives and put this memory behind them.
 
He fervently
hoped
that John need never know
.

Andrew tended Eirian in much the
same way that she had cared for him during his illness.
 
Each time he sponged her down the faint
bruises on her legs and waist were a reminder of his guilt.
 
He was glad that they were fading so
quickly.
 
Maybe by the time she
recovered they would be gone so they did not serve as a constant reminder to
her.
 
The deep bruise on her inner
thigh, while less noticeable, would take longer.

Loving her as he did it was
difficult to maintain a professional and objective attitude.
 
Cooling her body by sponging her off
was nothing less than torture.
 
He
wanted to climb in bed with her and hold her in his arms, but he maintained
a hands
off approach baring only the minimal amount of skin
necessary to get the desired effect of lowering her temperature.
 
He had taken advantage of her
once,
he was not going to do it again.

He was asleep in the chair next to
her bed when she started to stir.
 
He leaned over to check her temperature to find her once again burning
with fever.
 
She was shaking the
whole bed with the force of her chills.
 
“Please hold me, I am so cold.” She pleaded.

“Here, let me give you my blanket,”
he took the blanket that he had been using sitting in the chair next to her
bed.
 
He was sure he must
be
qualifying for the sainthood by passing up her invitation
for him to join her in bed, “There, is that better?”

“No, I’m so cold.”
 
Eirian’s teeth were chattering.
 
Andrew lifted the blankets and slid in
beside Eirian gathering her in his arms.
 
He turned her on her side with her back against him while he wrapped his
arms around her.
 
He tried not to,
but he just could not help himself from holding her breast in his grasp.
 
She might not be warm yet, but he was
on fire with his desire for her.

Unfortunately, this was how John
found them.
 
Andrew had fallen
asleep with Eirian in his arms buried under the covers.
 
The next thing he knew he was being
pulled out from under the covers and was being punched repeatedly in the
stomach and the face.

“You sorry son of a bitch.
 
You promised to keep your hands off of
her.
 
You gave me your word.”
 
John continued to pound his fist into
Andrew’s midsection over and over. “Are you not even going to defend yourself?”

“No John I am not.
 
I do not blame you for what you are
thinking, but you are wrong,” Andrew replied.

Leaning over with his hands on knees
trying to catch his breath John asked, “Good Lord man,
can
you honestly tell me that you have not violated my marriage?”

“I have, at least a thousand
times.
 
Every time I close my eyes
I dream of holding her in my arms and loving her until she forgets that she
ever met you, but I have never knowingly violated my promise to you, and you
have to know that Eirian would never willingly deceive you.”
 
John passed Andrew a kerchief to stop
the bleeding in his nose.

“If this is true then what have you
been doing holed up here alone with my wife in an inn for almost two
weeks?
 
For Christ’s sake Drew, I
found you in bed with her!” John was incredulous.

“I can explain if you will let
me.
 
A message came from Severn
Manor that Aislinn was ill and they needed Eirian to return to help take care
of her.
 
You were gone and she did
not know when you would return.
 
She sent for me and asked me to act as her escort since I was the
closest thing to a male family member she had in London at the time.
 
She was completely clueless about the
position that she put me in.
 
The
second day out I became ill.
 
Within
hours I had a raging fever and was virtually unconscious by the time we reached
here.
 
The innkeeper had to help me
up to the rooms and into bed.
 
Eirian nursed me through the fever and back to health.
 
We were to continue on our way the next
morning, but when I awakened, I discovered that Eirian had contracted the same
malady.
 
She is still burning with
fever, which is why you found me in her bed.
 
She is having severe chills and I was trying to warm her
with my body heat.
 
Can you not see
that I am fully dressed?
 
Do you
see the chair beside the bed where I was sitting vigil?
 
Check her for yourself and see if it is
not as I said,” Drew challenged.

John did go over to the bed and
reached out to feel her forehead.
 
She was burning up with fever just as Drew had said.
 
He kissed her forehead and said,
“Eirian baby, I am here.
 
Can you
open your eyes for me?”

“John, oh John, I have needed
you.
 
Hold me again, please.
 
I am so cold.”
 
Eirian pleaded.

“Andrew, if I was unfair I am
sorry.
 
We can discuss this more
later if you do not mind.
 
I will
take over with my wife now.
 
You
are free to return to your chambers now.”
 
What more could Drew say?
 
He turned and left quietly closing the door with its broken lock behind
him.

John lifted the blankets and slid in
beside
her taking her in his arms.
 
She snuggled up against him wrapping
her arms around his neck and pulling his mouth down to hers.
 
John was quick to respond, holding her
close and running his hands up and down her back, stroking and caressing her.
 
In the back of his mind he could not
help but wonder if Drew had done the same.
 
He hated the
green eyed
monster
that was constantly lurking in the back of his mind these days with regards to
Drew.
 
As he caressed her, he could
feel that her gown was wet with perspiration.
 
He knew he could not let her lay there in a wet gown all
night.
 
Climbing back out of bed he
went to her valise to see if there was another gown to change her into.
 
Opening the bag he found the object he
was searching for laying on top.
 
He reached in to retrieve the gown, but when he shook it out and held it
up, he noticed that the gown was torn from the neckline down to the hem.
 
It only took him a second to understand
the significance of the condition of the gown.
 
That son of a bitch, he had believed his lies.

Now he knew, but what was he going
to do with the knowledge?
 
Eirian
was obviously in no condition to question and he could not trust Drew for the
truth.
 
He had to have answers, but
he would have to wait until Eirian’s illness was resolved.

The bright rays of sunlight slipped
in through the cracks in the drapes and awakened John from his fitful
sleep.
 
He had lain awake late into
the night trying to find a way around his hurt and anger.
 
He knew he would eventually forgive Eirian
for whatever transgressions may have taken place.
 
He loved her too much not to, but the pain was still
there.
 
They had enjoyed the
perfect marriage once they had gotten past the first rocky six months.
 
She had forgiven him and stood by him
until he worked through his pain and feelings of betraying Johane.
 
He knew he would forgive her as
well.
 
He knew with just as much
certainty that he would never forgive Andrew.

He rolled over and placed his wrist
on Eirian’s forehead.
 
He was
pleased to find that her fever had broken and she was almost as cool as he
himself.
 
“Thank God,” he murmured.

“John, is that you?
 
Oh my love, I am so glad you are
here.
 
I have missed you so.”
 
She held her arms out to him only to grimace
from the pain.
 
“Have I been sick?”

“Yes honey.
 
You’ve been very ill.
 
Do you not remember?”
 
John asked.

“No, I do not think so, not
really.
 
I do sort of remember you
holding me when I was so cold.
 
I
felt so safe in your arms.
 
You
held me so gently, I felt so loved and so secure.
 
I knew you would take care of me.
 
I love you so much.
 
Please hold me now.”
 
John
slid under the covers with her and gathered her close to him and held her
gently as he knew Drew had.

By the next afternoon Eirian was
well enough to sit up in the armchair for a few minutes.
 
She was thinking more clearly and
reality was beginning to seep in.
 
She now remembered what had happened between Drew and
herself
when his was ill.
 
How could she
have allowed that to happen?
 
Of
course she did not ask for it, but as sick as he was she should have been able
to fight him off if she had truly wanted to.
 
He excited her and made her desire what she knew she should
not have even thought about.
 
She
would never have acted on her impulses if he had not forced the issue.
 
She was so ashamed.
 
She would make it up to John, she did
not know how, but she would.

“I sent a messenger to Severn Manor
to inform them that I have found you and that you are going to be alright.
 
We had no idea what had happened to
you.
 
I arrived at our house in
London to find that you have left a few days before for Severn Manor.
 
I followed you there only to find out
that you had never arrived.
 
I
retraced my path checking each inn and town along the way until I found you
here.
 
I must say I was surprised to
find what I did find.”
 
John was
not sure he was ready to address the issues just yet, but the timing seemed
right and the opportunity presented itself.
 
He was still afraid of the answers.