Read Hope Over Fear (Over #1) Online
Authors: J. A. Derouen
I just want to be part of it, too.
“Best Day of My Life” by American Authors
I BID MY goodbyes and watch the freshmen from my Saturday morning class file out of the meeting room. With gruesome crotch rot pictures tucked under my arm, I walk into the main office area of the clinic. My gaze sweeps over empty desks and chairs, and I sigh deeply.
“So now what?” I ask myself, feeling disappointed that no one is here to answer me. Caroline and Adam are out of town for the day relocating one of our domestic abuse clients; Celia is babysitting Lily and Gage, and the other, more part-time volunteers are out of pocket for the morning. So that leaves me as the lone New Horizons employee for the remainder of the morning.
In the absence of a better option, I obsessively clean the desk area, secretly hoping a client will walk in and save me from my task. Luckily, the clinic is only open for a half-day on Saturdays, so I only have a few more hours of torture. The ringing of the phone pierces the silence, startling me about an hour into my cleaning binge.
“Good morning, New Horizons Outreach Center. This is Sara, may I help you?”
“God, I hope so! Sara, it’s Celia. I have an emergency, and I need to ask you for a huge favor.” Celia sounds frantic over the phone, and I hear her banging and clanging around while she sighs heavily into the phone.
“Hey, whatever you need. You know that, Celia. What can I do?”
“One of my clients has been arrested, and I need to get to the police station. He’s extremely paranoid, and I’m sure the arrest is a misunderstanding. I’m afraid if I don’t get over there and calm him down, he could get violent. I need to help diffuse this situation and hopefully get him into a hospital instead of a jail cell,” Celia rambles, barely breathing in between sentences.
“Okay, where do I come in?” I ask, gathering my things and putting them in my purse. If Celia needs my help, I know Caroline won’t mind closing the clinic a couple of hours early. The favor pertains to clinic business, after all.
“Adam and Caroline won’t be home until late this afternoon.” Celia pauses, and I wait patiently for her to continue. She takes a deep breath and quickly spits out her request. “I need you to watch Lily and Gage while I’m gone.”
“Wait a minute … I don’t know, Celia. Can’t I go to the jail for you? I don’t know if … I don’t think that Adam would … what if he …” I shake my head and fall back into the chair. Adam has spent months carefully planning our lives to ensure I didn’t meet his kids, and it feels reckless on my part to go against his wishes.
“It’ll be fine, Sara. You’re a nurse for Christ’s sake! Who better to take care of them? Adam will be fine with it, and quite frankly, it’s high time you met Lily and Gage anyway. It’s obvious to everyone that you’re a long-term presence in Adam’s life,” Celia pleads. “Please, Sara. My client really needs me.”
My brain can’t keep up as I run through the possible scenarios in my mind. Will Adam be angry with me? With Celia? Is there a chance that he’ll see me with Lily and Gage and realize it isn’t the end of the world? Will Lily and Gage love me? Hate me? Will an afternoon with me result in a rock up someone’s nose and a visit to the emergency room?
A full minute passes with these obsessive questions circling around in my mind before the one question that matters comes to the forefront. Would I ever refuse to help Celia? Of course not.
“I’m on my way. He’ll just have to understand the situation and get over it, right?”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Celia shouts and quickly ends the call, probably not wanting to give me the chance to change my mind.
“Lily and Gage, this is Sara. She works with your dad and me. She’s going to spend the afternoon with you guys.” Celia says, her voice sounding like spun sugar. We’re all huddled in Adam’s kitchen, Celia and I crouching in front of Lily and Gage.
I’ve been in Adam’s house on several occasions, but always when the kids were at school or out of town. His house feels well lived in with children’s artwork on the refrigerator and random toys throughout the house. Adam’s style is evident throughout, but the touches of Lily and Gage are what make it feel like a home.
The children quietly inspect me, and I squirm under their gaze. They’re going to be tougher customers than I initially thought. Lily’s bouncing brown curls and Gage’s spatter of freckles across the bridge of his nose do absolutely nothing to soften their exacting stares. I smile apprehensively and give them a tiny wave of my hand in an attempt to break the tension.
“I saw you before, talking to my daddy at Aunt Cece’s house,” Lily says suspiciously, obviously remembering the night that I first saw them, months ago. I’ve got to give it to her; the girl has got a good memory.
“I remember you, too, Lily. I’m so glad to finally meet you. And you, too, Gage. I bet we can think of some fun things to do this afternoon. What do you say?”
“What fun things?” Gage asks and narrows his gaze, as if his agreement relies solely on my response to this question.
“Well, I thought we could take a walk to the park and feed the ducks … and maybe play on the playground,” I suggest, holding my breath and crossing my fingers.
Lily and Gage should take a trip to Vegas, because they have the best poker faces I’ve ever seen. I look toward Celia, and she offers me an exasperated shrug. I’m racking my brain for alternate ideas to gain their approval when Lily breaks the tense silence.
“We got a wagon. You can pull us.”
“I’ll get the bread,” Gage offers.
Whew, I’m glad that’s settled.
“Next time, we have to bring more bread, Miss Sara!” I feel Lily’s hand slide into mine as she looks up at me with flushed cheeks and sparkling blue eyes. The feeling of her tiny fingers squeezing into my palm sends a rush of warmth straight to my heart.
“Agreed, Lily. Those ducks and geese were crazy!”
“We almost didn’t make it. I thought I was gonna have to karate chop those crazy birds,” Gage hollers as he kicks his legs and slices his hands through the air like a ninja.
The ducks and geese were very happy to see us with their lunch in hand. That is, until we ran out of bread. What started out as a quaint afternoon with friendly ducks eating bread out of our hands turned into a race to the playground with flailing wings and pecking beaks on our heels. Luckily, some wayward squirrels distracted the death squad, and we were able to make our escape. Those crazy birds freaked me the hell out, but thankfully the danger at the park earned me points in the four year olds’ minds.
Lily and Gage jump into the wagon and wave goodbye to a couple of newfound friends from the playground. They are such an outgoing pair, I have no doubt they make friends quickly wherever they go.
“So, listen up, you two. I know what we should do next. Wanna hear it?”
“Yeah!” they both shout excitedly, throwing their hands up in the air.
“We should eat some vegetables.”
My suggestion is met with shocked silence and confused stares. I secretly smile to myself and keep pulling the wagon to our next destination. I pretend to be oblivious to their reaction.
“Yep, vegetables. I think I’ll have broccoli. How about brussel sprouts for you, Gage? And turnips for you, Lily? Won’t that be awesome?”
“That won’t be awesome. That’s terrible! I don’t like brussel sprouts, Miss Sara,” Gage whines with a look of disbelief.
The timing is perfect as I roll the wagon up to the entrance of Pop’s Old Fashioned Ice Cream Parlor. “I’m sure we can find vegetables that you like in here, don’t ya think?”
“They don’t sell vegetables in there, Miss Sara. They sell ice cream, and I want some!” Lily lets out an infectious giggle, and I laugh along with her.
“I’m pretty sure they do, Lily. Why don’t we check it out?”
After perusing the flavors, I decide to have a cone of asparagus, also known as pecan praline. Gage picks a scoop of radishes, disguised as mint chocolate chip, and after much deliberation, Lily settles on a scoop of collard greens, or bubble gum ice cream.
“So when your dad and Aunt Cece ask you what you had for snack today, what are you going to say?”
“Vegetables!” they both scream loudly and break out into fits of laughter, earning some head shakes from the Pop’s employees.
When the laughter dies down, I hear the faint background music and recognize an American Authors song.
“Ooh, awesome song. Hey, would you guys mind turning it up a bit?” I take a chance in asking the cashier. We’re the only customers in the shop right now, so I’m hoping she’ll comply. The volume escalates, and I can’t help but bob my head from side to side as I lick my cone. I look up to see a grinning Lily waving her spoon in the air to the rhythm of the music. Gage glances at Lily and then starts wiggling his butt in his chair like he has ants in his pants.
I take them both by surprise when I hop out of my seat, bouncing and waving my hands in the air to the music. They quickly follow suit, and it seems we’ve started a dance party in the middle of the ice cream shop. The cashier can’t even keep from swaying back and forth as she sings along.
As I watch Lily twirl to the music and Gage karate kick the air, I know, without a doubt, that today is definitely the best day.
“My favorite part was the big slide!” Lily shouted.
“My favorite part was the radishes!” Gage yells at the top of his lungs in a fierce manly voice.
“My favorite part was singing and dancing with y’all,” I offer as I pull the wagon down their street.
I can’t bring myself to be remorseful about today. I know Adam may be angry that I spent the day with his kids, but that doesn’t change the fact that we had a wonderful time together. I loved every minute of it, and the fact that these are Adam’s kids is an added bonus.
As the wagon teeters closer to the house, my smile slowly begins to fade. Adam is pacing back and forth on the front porch with his phone to his ear and his other hand in his hair. Oh shit. As he notices us wheeling closer he stops abruptly and stays frozen to his spot on the porch. He tersely says something into the phone, and then slides the phone in his pocket. I stop moving forward, and we sit silently on the sidewalk in front of the house. Adam visibly breathes in a couple of deep breaths, as if he’s searching for calm, and then begins walking toward us.