Hopeless Vows (23 page)

Suddenly, I’m placed on a hard surface. With obvious reluctance, Austin pulls away.

“Lift your hips up,” he demands. I do as I’m told, placing my hands on what I can now see is the edge of the kitchen counter and raise my ass up. With one rough tug, he pulls my pants down my legs, not even bothering to unbutton them. They scrape down my legs and are soon followed by the soft silk of my pink panties.

Austin drops to his knees, looking up at me with hungry eyes. “Spread ’em for me, gorgeous,” he says in a deep, raspy voice. His hands go to the inside of my knees and gently push them apart. His mouth descends on my wet center and I damn near fall apart instantly. His tongue strokes me slow at first, turning the small fire in the pit of my stomach into a blazing inferno. My arms shake with the effort of holding my torso upright while the rest of my body trembles. His tongue flicks over my clit before sucking on it hard. The sudden shift and intensity makes my arms buckle and I fall back onto my elbows.

I feel myself building, approaching the sweetest ecstasy, but suddenly fall from my high. I look down quickly to find out why he stopped and see he’s now standing up. His back is to me as he rummages through the freezer.

“What are you—”

“Lay back down and close your eyes, Jillian.” There’s a gentleness in his command, earning my trust, but I don’t miss the finality of his request. Without hesitation, I do as I’m told and wait for the unknown.

A sharp cry leaves me moments later when something cold touches my most sensitive area. Before I have a chance to move, it’s replaced by the warmness of Austin’s mouth as he sucks the cold away. My back arches as my body processes the two different extremes.

“Shhh,” he whispers against my flesh. My focus hones in on him just in time to see him take an ice cube and run it down the center of my stomach. He circles my belly button slowly, leaving a trail of melted ice on my skin. His tongue soon follows the same path, heating me up from the inside out. He alternates again to what remains of this frozen object and drags it down the middle of my lower stomach, over top of my most private area, and again between my folds.

I gasp, scream, and beg for more before he obliges and swirls his tongue around my clit quickly.

“I’m close,” I moan out.

His cold finger circles my entrance while his hot mouth continues to work my clit. Each sensation is the other’s polar opposite, and it’s exactly what I need to send me flying over the edge into sweet oblivion. All of my senses fire off at once, overloading my entire body as I ride out my orgasm.

“Fuck, you’re sexy,” he says, his voice clearly strained. “I can’t wait any longer. I have to have you. Now.” The sound of his belt buckle registers in my post orgasmic fog.

Looking into his dark eyes, I say, “Then take me.”

I don’t have to tell him twice. He slides me off the counter and turns me around, pulling my hips back. My bare ass collides into his hips along with his hard length. From the feel of it, he’s more than ready. There’s something empowering knowing you can turn on the person you love without even really touching him. He does that to me. I’m a wet mess when he just kisses me. It’s comforting and erotic all at the same time.

Austin’s palm goes to my lower back and pushes down. I bend at the waist and lay my upper body on the counter. With both hands on my hips, he grips me firmly and I can feel him trembling. He’s holding back, trying to take it slow.

“Give it to me, Austin,” I plead.

A low growl rumbles in the back of his throat before I feel him hit my entrance and slide into me in one quick thrust. I gasp at the welcomed intrusion as my body stretches to accommodate him. His movements are quick and relentless, a stark contrast to the gentle way he adored my body last night, but just as enjoyable. Turning my face to the side and laying it on the counter, I catch a glimpse of him. His jaw is tight and his muscles are flexed as he pumps into me over and over.

Reaching forward, his fingers touch my clit and massage them in quick strokes. I rise up on a moan, my upper back pressed against his chest. My hand moves up and wraps around the back of his neck. He bites my neck, causing me to yell out in bliss. His driving force nearly knocks the wind out of me while his expert touch makes me weak in the knees. It’s not long before he has me screaming his name while I collapse back down on the counter.

He slows down slightly, pulling every shudder from my body. I feel weightless and filled with lead, floating in euphoria but unable to move my body.

“Shit,” Austin grunts out. Seconds later, his hold on me tightens and he stiffens. He pushes in and out of me two more times excruciatingly slow, making me quiver again. He stills on a final groan before bending over and laying his chest over my back. We’re both panting, sweaty, and unwilling to move.

After several moments, he leans up, kissing the back of my neck. Once he’s standing up straight, he slowly pulls out of me, grabs me by the hips, and spins me around before lifting me back up onto the counter. A boyish grin hits me in full force when I lock eyes with him. If the butterflies in my stomach weren’t passed out from our recent activities, they would start swarming.

Placing himself between my legs, I feel his still hard dick pressing against my center. I jump slightly at the contact of my overly sensitive area.

“Sorry if I got a little carried away. I meant to take it slower, but once you came on my face, I couldn’t hold back anymore.” There’s a subtle hint of a bad boy hiding behind his good manners and gentlemanly behavior. With the motorcycle, tattoos, and the way he just thoroughly fucked me, I’d say I’d like to know this side of him a little better.

“Trust me when I say you have nothing to apologize for. Did it look like I didn’t enjoy it?”

Leaning down toward my face, his cocky grin sets in place. “No, it sounded like you enjoyed it a lot actually.” He closes the distance to kiss me. “So much so,” he continues, his breath fanning across my face. “I might have to show you round two.”

“You think you got that kind of stamina?” I taunt, hiding a cocky grin of my own.

“Do you doubt my abilities, Jillian?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t have much to base it on. You might—” My words are cut off with a squeal as he lifts me off the counter and carries me in a hurry to the bedroom. I’m thrown onto the bed and shown just how much stamina Austin has.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages!” I say excitedly to my best friend, Janey. We hug before taking our seats across from each other at a little diner down the street.

“That’s because you were trapped playing wifey for your little show.”

“I know, it’s just so hard to go anywhere and do things when you have a camera crew in your face all the time. But enough about that,” I say with a wave of my hand. “What have you been up to lately?”

She fills me in on her latest hook ups and break ups. I swear this girl is a walking, real-life version of Days of Our Lives.

“I think I’m going through a lumberjack phase,” she informs me once the coffees we had ordered are placed in front of us.

“Lumberjack? Like a guy with a round belly who wears red flannel? Yuck.” Every bone in my fashion-loving body is cringing at the thought.

“No, dumbass. I’m talking about man buns and beards with hot ass bodies.”

I stare blankly at her for a while. “I’m not seein’ it.”

“Here, let me show you.” She pulls out her phone, taps it several times before turning the screen around to show me. “See? Lumberjack.”

I have to admit, this guy is hot as hell! “Well, damn. I’d climb that tree.”

“Let me see you swing your ax,” she says in a mock seductive tone.

“Forget the ax, just show me your wood.” We erupt into a fit of giggles and it feels nice. It feels normal, something I’ve been craving since the show started.

“Well, now that you’re a single lady, you can go find yourself a lumberjack of your own.” She lifts her drink to her lips but stops halfway when she takes in my expression. “You are single, right?”

“About that . . .” I trail off, avoiding eye contact by picking at my napkin on the table.

“You’ve got to be shitting me, Jillian. How could you be so fucking stupid?” Her voice is rising and people are starting to stare.

“Can you keep your voice down? It’s complicated, alright? I just couldn’t do it.”

Her arms fold over her chest. “And what happens when he finds out who you really are?”

I swallow hard. No matter how hard I try, the thought lingers in the back of my head. “He won’t.” I know my voice lacks the conviction I desperately want to feel.

“Unbelievable,” she mutters, shaking her head.

Her negative attitude turns my guilt and worry into anger. I’m so sick of her shit. “Why does it matter to you? I don’t understand why you’re getting so bent out of shape over this.”

“Because you’re living a lie! You’re a fraud!”

Fraud.

It’s the exact thing I’ve felt since I went out on my own at the age of eighteen. It’s the one thing I’m terrified everyone can see. Almost like a scarlet letter stamped on the front of me for all to judge. I am a fraud. I’ve faked my way into almost everything until I became more established. Having her throw it in my face twists my gut and makes me shrink back from her.

My face drops as does my posture. All the life and energy I carried in with me has been sucked out by the woman across from me. “Real nice, Jay. I thought you’d understand a little on where I’m coming from,” I say as I dig through my purse for my wallet. “I figured you’d at least hear me out.” I pull out a few bills and toss them onto the table. “But I guess that’s just too much to ask from you, huh?”

I stand up while Janey starts to protest. “Oh, come on. Sit back down. You know I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m only looking out for you so this doesn’t blow up in your face and embarrass you.”

“Well, I’ll take your
advice
into consideration,” I reply flatly. Turning on my heels, I exit the diner feeling completely deflated.

MONDAYS ARE SLIGHTLY
more bearable with Austin in my life. It’s evident by the silly smile gracing my face whenever I look at the flowers on my desk. As promised, he still has them delivered to me at the beginning of every week. While the fragrance is heavenly and the sight of them brightens the room, I look forward to the note attached the most. He has no problems expressing how he feels about me, and it’s one of the things I love about him. His words make me feel secure in not only our relationship, but in myself as well. The best decision I’ve ever made was to stay with him. With one last glance back at the vibrant display, I walk out of my office to make my way back home.

Austin said he’d be home a little later than usual tonight due to some meeting he has to attend, which is actually kind of perfect for me. I’ve been wanting to surprise him with a nice, home cooked meal, but that’s kind of hard to do when I always arrive after him. I’m not much of a chef, but I hope the recipe I found online won’t fail me.

Walking a few blocks down, I go into a small market that’s not too far from the apartment. I grab a basket and think about our time together as I gather the things I need for tonight. Sure, we’ve had our bumps here and there, but it’s mostly over stupid stuff. I can’t stand that he takes his shoes off in front of the door and leaves them there. Every time I see them laying there, I have a small urge to throw them in the tub and light them on fire TLC-style. Austin hates that I don’t scrape my plate off into the trash can when I’m done. It annoys the living hell out of me that he leaves cabinet doors open. And he grumbles about my cosmetics all over the counter.