Horrid Henry and the Zombie Vampire (8 page)

A blob of ketchup splatted Miss Battle-Axe on the nose and dribbled down her chin onto her cardigan.

“Sorry, Boudicca,” said Miss Lovely.

“Sorry, Lydia,” said Miss Battle-Axe.

They raced into the dark central hall just as their classes ran back from the torch-lit walk. Fifty beams of light from fifty flashlights lit up the teachers’ ketchup-covered faces and ketchup-stained clothes.

“AAAARRGGHHH!” screamed Perfect Peter.

“It’s the zombie vampires!” howled Tidy Ted.

“Run for your lives!” yelped Goody-Goody Gordon.

“Wait!” shouted Miss Lovely. “Children, come back!”

“We won’t eat you!” shouted Miss Battle-Axe.

“AAAARRRRGGHHHHHH!”

Jenny Gyertson has had her lovely story
Fairies Paint the Rainbow
stolen not once but twice: the least she deserves is an acknowledgment.

My thanks also to Steven Butler for telling me all about Theft Number One…

Horrid Henry plots a brilliant plan for total TV control; schemes, bribes, and fights his way to become class president; battles with Peter over who gets the awesome purple dinosaur and who’s stuck with the boring green one; and performs the greatest magic trick the world has ever seen at his school’s talent contest.

Horrid Henry invades Perfect Peter’s room; hunts for cookies in Moody Margaret’s Secret Club tent, with frightening results; writes his biography—and Moody Margaret’s; and plots to see the best band in the world (while his family wants to see the worst).

Horrid Henry builds the biggest, meanest monster snowman ever; writes his will (but is more interested in what others should be leaving him); starts his own makeover business; and manages to thwart the Happy Nappy for a chance to meet his favorite author in the whole world.

Horrid Henry discovers a genius way to write thank-you letters; negotiates over vegetables; competes with Perfect Peter over which of them is sickest; and finds himself wearing the wrong underpants—with dreadful consequences.

Henry is dragged to dancing class against his will; vies with Moody Margaret to make the yuckiest Glop; goes camping; and tries to be good like Perfect Peter—but not for long.