Horrid Henry Shows Who's Boss (7 page)

“The bed is lumpy,” Henry moaned.

This year they decided to try something different.

“We’re going camping,” said Henry’s parents.

“Hooray!” said Henry.

“You’re happy, Henry?” said Mom. Henry had never been happy about any vacation plans before.

“Oh yes,” said Henry. Finally, finally, they were doing something good.

Henry knew all about camping from Moody Margaret. Margaret had been camping with her family.They had stayed in a big tent with comfy beds, a fridge, a cooker, a bathroom, a shower, a heated swimming pool, and a great big giant TV with fifty-seven channels.

“Oh boy!” said Horrid Henry.

“Wowie!” said Perfect Peter.

* * *

The great day arrived at last. Horrid Henry, Perfect Peter, Mom, and Dad boarded a ferry.

Henry and Peter had never been on a boat before.

Henry jumped on and off the seats.

Peter did a lovely drawing.

The boat went up and down and up and down.

Henry ran back and forth between the aisles.

Peter pasted stickers in his notebook.

The boat went up and down and up and down.

Henry sat on a revolving chair and spun round.

Peter played with his puppets.

The boat went up and down and up and down.

Then Henry and Peter ate a big greasy lunch of hot dogs and french fries in the café.

The boat went up and down, and up and down, and up and down.

Henry began to feel queasy.

Peter began to feel queasy.

Henry’s face went green.

Peter’s face went green.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” said Henry, and threw up all over Mom.

“I think I’m going to be—” said Peter, and threw up all over Dad.

“Oh no,” said Mom.

“Never mind,” said Dad. “I just know this will be our best vacation ever.”

* * *

Finally, the boat arrived.

After driving and driving and driving they reached the campsite.

It was even better than Henry’s dreams.The tents were as big as houses. Henry heard the happy sound of TVs blaring, music playing, and children splashing and shrieking.The sun shone.The sky was blue.

“Wow, this looks great,” said Henry.

But the car drove on.

“Stop!” said Henry. “You’ve gone too far.”

“We’re not staying in that awful place,” said Dad.

They drove on.

“Here’s our campsite,” said Dad. “A
real
campsite!”

Henry stared at the bare rocky ground under the cloudy gray sky. There were three small tents flapping in the wind.There was a single tap. There were a few trees.There was nothing else.

“It’s wonderful!” said Mom.

“It’s wonderful!” said Peter.

“But where’s the TV?” said Henry.

“No TV here, thank goodness,” said Mom. “We’ve got books.”

“But where are the beds?” said Henry.

“No beds here, thank goodness,” said Dad. “We’ve got sleeping bags.”

“But where’s the pool?” said Henry.

“No pool,” said Dad. “
We’ll
swim in the river.”

“Where’s the toilet?” said Peter.

Dad pointed at a distant outhouse. Three people stood waiting.

“All the way over there?” said Peter. “I’m not complaining,” he added quickly.

Mom and Dad unpacked the car. Henry stood and scowled.

“Who wants to help put up the tent?” asked Mom.

“I do!” said Dad.

“I do!” said Peter.

Henry was horrified. “We have to put up our own tent?”

“Of course,” said Mom.

“I don’t like it here,” said Henry.

“I want to go camping in the other place.”

“That’s not camping,” said Dad. “Those tents have beds in them.And bathrooms.And showers.And fridges. And microwaves, and TVs. Horrible.” Dad shuddered.

“Horrible,” said Peter.

“And we have such a lovely, snug tent here,” said Mom. “Nothing modern—just wooden pegs and poles.”

“Well, I want to stay there,” said Henry.

“We’re staying here,” said Dad.

“NO!” screamed Henry.

“YES!” screamed Dad.

I am sorry to say that Henry then had the longest, loudest, noisiest, shrillest, most horrible tantrum you can imagine.

Did you think that a horrid boy like Henry would like nothing better

than sleeping on hard rocky ground in a soggy sleeping bag without a pillow?

You thought wrong.

Henry liked comfy beds.

Henry liked crisp sheets.

Henry liked hot baths.