Horrid Henry Shows Who's Boss (9 page)

And now for a sneak peek at one of the laugh-out-loud stories in
Horrid Henry Tricks the Tooth Fairy

“I’m not wearing these horrible clothes and that’s that!”

Horrid Henry glared at the mirror.A stranger smothered in a lilac ruffled shirt, green satin knickerbockers, tights, pink cummerbund tied in a floppy bow, and pointy white satin shoes with gold buckles glared back at him.

Henry had never seen anyone looking so silly in his life.

“Aha ha ha ha ha!” shrieked Horrid Henry, pointing at the mirror.

Then Henry peered more closely.The ridiculous looking boy was him.

Perfect Peter stood next to Horrid Henry. He too was smothered in a lilac ruffled shirt, green satin knickerbockers, tights, pink cummerbund, and pointy white shoes with gold buckles. But, unlike Henry, Peter was smiling.

“Aren’t they adorable!” squealed Prissy Polly. “That’s how my children are always going to dress.”

Prissy Polly was Horrid Henry’s horrible older cousin. Prissy Polly was always squeaking and squealing:

“Eeek, it’s a speck of dust.”

“Eeek, it’s a puddle.”

“Eeek, my hair is a mess.”

But when Prissy Polly announced she was getting married to Pimply Paul and wanted Henry and Peter to be ring bearers, Mom said yes before Henry could stop her.

“What’s a ring bearer?” asked Henry suspiciously.

“A ring bearer carries the wedding rings down the aisle on a satin cushion,” said Mom.

“And throws confetti afterward,” said Dad.

Henry liked the idea of throwing confetti. But carrying rings on a cushion? No thanks.

“I don’t want to be a ring bearer,” said Henry.

“I do, I do,” said Peter.

“You’re going to be a ring bearer, and that’s that,” said Mom.

“And you’ll behave yourself,” said Dad. “It’s very kind of cousin Polly to ask you.”

Henry scowled.

“Who’d want to be married to
her?
” said Henry. “I wouldn’t if you paid me a million dollars.”

But for some reason the groom, Pimply Paul, did want to marry Prissy Polly.And, as far as Henry knew, he had not been paid one million dollars.

Pimply Paul was also trying on his wedding clothes. He looked ridiculous in a black top hat, lilac shirt, and a black jacket covered in gold swirls.

“I won’t wear these silly clothes,” said Henry.

“Oh be quiet, you little brat,” snapped Pimply Paul.

Horrid Henry glared at him.

“I won’t,” said Henry. “And that’s final.”

“Henry, stop being horrid,” said Mom. She looked extremely silly in a big floppy hat dripping with flowers.

Suddenly Henry grabbed at the lace ruffles around his throat.

“I’m choking,” he gasped. “I can’t breathe.”

Then Henry fell to the floor and rolled around.

“Uggggghhhhhhh,” moaned Henry.

“I’m dying.”

“Get up this minute, Henry!” said Dad.

“Eeek, there’s dirt on the floor!” shrieked Polly.

“Can’t you control that child?” hissed Pimply Paul.

“I DON’T WANT TO BE A RING BEARER!” howled Horrid Henry.

“Thank you so much for asking me to be a ring bearer, Polly,” shouted Perfect Peter, trying to be heard over Henry’s screams.

“You’re welcome,” shouted Polly.

“Stop that, Henry!” ordered Mom. “I’ve never been so ashamed in my life.”

“I hate children,” muttered Pimply Paul under his breath.

Horrid Henry stopped. Unfortunately, his ring bearer clothes looked as fresh and crisp as ever.

All right, thought Horrid Henry.You want me at this wedding? You’ve got me.

If Henry has to sit through a boring wedding and wear tights, he’s going to have some fun—even if it gets him into trouble. Find out what horrid things Henry has planned in
Horrid Henry Tricks the Tooth Fairy
!

Horrid Henry reluctantly goes for a hike; builds a time machine and convinces Perfect Peter that boys wear dresses in the future; Perfect Peter plays one of the worst tricks ever on his brother; and Henry’s aunt takes the family to a fancy restaurant, so his parents bribe him to behave.

Horrid Henry tries to trick the Tooth Fairy into giving him more money; sends Moody Margaret packing; causes his teachers to run screaming from school; and single-handedly wrecks a wedding.

Horrid Henry uses a stinkbomb as a toxic weapon in his long-running war with Moody Margaret; uses all his tricks to win the school reading competition; goes for a sleepover and retreats in horror when he finds that other people’s houses aren’t always as nice as his own; and has the joy of seeing Miss Battle-Axe in hot water with the principle when he knows it was all his fault.

Horrid Henry indulges his favorite hobby—collecting Gizmos; has a bad time with his spelling homework; starts a rumor that there’s a shark in the pool; and spooks Perfect Peter with the mummy’s curse.

Horrid Henry reads Perfect Peter’s diary and improves it; goes shopping with Mom and tries to make her buy him some really nice new sneakers; is horrified when his old enemy Bossy Bill turns up at school; and tries by any means, to win the class soccer match.

Photo: Francesco Guidicini

Francesca Simon spent her childhood on the beach in California and then went to Yale and Oxford Universities to study medieval history and literature. She now lives in London with her family. She has written over forty-five books and won the Children’s Book of the Year in 2008 at the Galaxy British Book Awards for
Horrid Henry and the Abominable Snowman
.