How I Came to Sparkle Again (35 page)

“I’m your new nurse?” she replied.

He smiled, glanced down at her nursing shoes, and then looked up at the ceiling and said, “Thank you,” as if she were the answer to his prayers.

chapter thirty-five

MAY 16: NO SNOW REPORT AVAILABLE

Opening Day is October 31. Season passes available for purchase online.

“Thanks for coming today.” Mike held his paddle in the water for an extra second to rudder, keeping the canoe on course.

“Oh, it’s my pleasure!” Jill, in the front, turned around and smiled. “I mean, how many eleven-year-olds want to do something this cool for their birthday?”

Cassie and Mauricio were ahead of them quite a ways in Mike and Kate’s kayaks. Cassie was eager to get to the waterfall at the other end of the seven-mile lake.

“Well, last year’s birthday was a pretty bad one. Kate was in a lot of pain and on a lot of morphine. I don’t know how much she was with us, but we brought a cake into her room and Cassie blew out her candles there. After she blew them out, she started crying. It was awful. And this year, you know, it’s the first birthday without her mom, and I think she was feeling really fragile about it.”

Jill turned around to look at him. Amber was sleeping on a blanket in the middle, between them. “She hides her feelings pretty well sometimes, but I figured this had to be an uncomfortable day in those ways.”

“You’re really important to her. So, thanks.”

“She’s important to me, too,” Jill said, and continued to paddle.

“Look. There’s a redtail over there,” he said. They paused to watch the hawk circle for a moment. “Well, should we catch up with them?”

Jill nodded and dug her paddle in.

Mike found himself staring at her hair, her neck and shoulders, her back, her hips. “What was your favorite birthday?” he asked.

“Oh, easy. When I was six, I woke up with a new bicycle in my room. Does it get any better than that?” she answered. Her heart ached a little when she thought of her parents, how much they really did love her, and of all the things they ever did right.

“I’d still love to wake up with a new bike in my room,” Mike said.

“What about you?” she asked.

“When I turned twelve, my dad, uncle, and a couple guys from the station—my dad was a fireman, too—took some of my friends and me camping. They let us tell dirty jokes and swear as long as we promised not to breathe a word of it once we got home.”

Jill laughed. “That’s so manly!”

“Yeah, well, when you’re twelve, you pretty much think that’s what being a man is all about.”

She laughed a little more.

“A lot of my birthdays were at the fire station because my dad was working, and that was always pretty cool. I mean, it seemed normal to me, but my friends were always stoked to be at the fire station. Dad would let us have target practice with the hose and try to knock over cones.”

“Aw, that sounds fun!” she said.

“If you really think so, you can have your next birthday party at the fire station, too. I think the guys would like that. Bring your friends,” he joked.

Jill laughed even more. “I think I’ve been living at the Kennel too long, because about fourteen rude jokes just popped into my mind,” she said.

“Oh, it’s all right,” he said with a big smile. “We’ve heard all of them.”

“What would be your dream birthday now?” Jill asked.

Mike was quiet, so Jill turned around and looked at him. His smile gave his answer away.

She exploded with laughter again. “I’m sorry,” she said. “After living at the Kennel for six months now, I really should have known the answer to that.”

“Men are not complicated,” he said with a big smile and a shrug.

Later, when they reached the waterfall, they tied their boats together, and Jill carefully turned around so that her body was facing Mike. They sang “Happy Birthday” to Cassie in English and Spanish, and she blew out her candles.

They ate cake, taught Mauricio some new words, and asked him about Mexican birthday traditions. When they were done eating cake, they went a little closer to the waterfall, enough to feel some spray, enough to see rainbows above them everywhere. Amber sat up and tried to bite the mist, and Cassie laughed and then led the way back with Mauricio right beside her. It wasn’t long before they were quite a ways out in front.

“So when’s your birthday?” Jill asked Mike as they paddled.

“Early June,” he answered with a big, hopeful smile.

She turned around and smiled back. “Hm,” she said, and held his gaze a couple seconds too long. “I’ll keep my eye out for a good birthday dream girl for you.”

“Don’t you think you should know what I’m looking for?” he asked.

“I thought you were not complicated.”

He laughed. “She should be really kind, understanding—just beautiful inside and out. Of course, she needs to get along with Cassie really well and help her win a season’s pass in the Dummy Downhill because it saves me money. She needs to have good luge and canoe skills, but doesn’t need to be able to do both at the same time. Also, she needs medical experience so that she can understand the things I usually don’t talk about with anyone. And something about her will just make my world okay—not because she tries, but just because that’s the effect she has on me.”

Her big smile turned into something tender as she looked back at him and then gingerly spun around in her seat. She kept her hands on the gunnels as she worked her way over the dog and toward him. He met her halfway for a kiss that he hoped Cassie wouldn’t see.

And then they were quiet for a while as something new settled into them both, something like peace, something like knowing their place in the universe.

After they dropped Mauricio off and got home, Jill helped Mike unload the boats and carry them into the garage while Cassie took the leftover food into the house.

The moment they set down the canoe, he took her in his arms and kissed her passionately. “I’ve been thinking about that all day,” he murmured, and kissed her again, this time more tenderly. He opened his eyes and noticed that while Jill’s were still closed, she was smiling. As he pulled back, her eyes opened, warm and affectionate—perhaps even loving, so green and clear and true. He couldn’t help himself and kissed her once more.

He still had Cassie’s birthday dinner to prepare. It took all his will to say, “Let’s go inside before I get all caveman on you. I’ll unload the kayaks later.”

Jill started laughing.

“What?” he said as if he didn’t know why she was laughing. “I think I deserve a medal for rallying the self-control it took to stop just now. I don’t think I could do it two more times, and I don’t want our first time to be on my garage floor.”

Jill continued to laugh and shook her head. “No, that sounds awful.”

He put his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him and rested her head on his chest as they walked toward the door. Then he let his hand slide to her low back and then back into his own pocket as she walked out before him.

*   *   *

At Timber Creek Campground in Rocky Mountain National Park, Tom set up a big white canvas wall tent, which was no small effort. He pumped up a double air mattress, put two eggshell pads on top of it, and made the bed. He draped tulle from the wedding veil that he’d worn to the Dirtbag Ball over the bed from the top of the tent pole to make a partial canopy. He’d also prepared a special stick studded with nails from which to hang candle lanterns and suspended it from the ceiling of the tent. He brought in a cooler with champagne, berries, and chocolate, put it in the far corner near the bed, and placed two plastic champagne flutes on top. He stood back and nervously admired his efforts. It looked good.

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths, then looked at his watch and set off for the amphitheater, where Lisa would be giving a talk tonight on greenback trout, which were once thought to be extinct. He lingered nearby but didn’t go into the area and sit down until after Lisa had started talking.

Truthfully, he didn’t hear a word of Lisa’s presentation. He tried to think of the words he would say later. He imagined the words she might say. He watched her talking in her park ranger uniform and imagined taking it off her. He imagined the sex they were going to have tonight. He fingered the ring in his pocket and imagined it on her hand. His breathing suddenly became nervous and jittery. It was forty minutes of pure torture.

At the end, Lisa asked, “Any questions?”

Should he raise his hand and say,
Yes, I have a question,
and then drop to his knee right there? Would that be romantic? Would that be awkward?
Should I?
he asked himself.
Should I do it now?
But he decided to stick with his original plan.

Lisa thanked everyone for coming, and the audience dispersed. As she was putting the pictures and charts from her presentation back into her canvas bag, an older gentleman approached to tell her fishing tales from his youth. Tom sat back down and wished him away, but he was going nowhere. Lisa caught Tom’s eye and smiled. Eventually, the older man’s wife dragged him away, and Tom approached Lisa.

Breathe, breathe, breathe,
he told himself.

“What’s wrong?” she asked him.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he said.

“I can tell something’s wrong,” she said.

He suppressed a laugh and shook his head.

“Why are you laughing?” she asked. “Why is that funny?”

He took her in his arms and kissed her. “Do you have everything?”

She looked around. “Yes.”

He followed her to her car, where she dropped off her presentation materials and exchanged that bag for a little pack in which she had packed a few things for the night. Tom took it from her and threw it over his shoulder. Then he took her hand and led her to the tent.

“Wait right here a sec,” he said to her.

He went inside, lit the candles, and opened the cooler. Then he went back to where Lisa waited, took her hand, and led her inside.

About seven different wisecracks crossed her mind, but miraculously, she kept them to herself.

He took her hands and began, “Lisa, you’re my best friend. You make me laugh. You make me grow. You make me want to be a better person. I love being with you. When I’m not with you, I wish I was.” And here Tom forgot the rest of what he had planned to say and just started spilling his heart. “I want to wake up with you every morning, wrestle a little, and then make you oatmeal. I want to chop your wood for you and shovel your sidewalk and scrub your back. I want to make your life easier. I want to massage your legs when they’re sore from too much skiing. And at the end of every day, I want to crawl back in bed with you, and fall asleep with my arms around you. I love you so much and want to love you just as much as you’ll let me.”

He dropped to his knee, held out the ring, looked up at Lisa, and waited.

She sat on his knee, kissed him, and whispered in his ear, “Yes.”

chapter thirty-six

JUNE 1:NO SNOW REPORT AVAILABLE

Opening Day is October 31. Season passes available for purchase online.

Wes Heusser had earned his money. When all was said and done, the judge ruled all assets be liquidated and split 60–40 in favor of Jill. In addition, she was entitled to five years of spousal support.

As Jill was walking out of the courtroom, David caught up to her.

“Jill,” he said.

She turned around.

“Jill, I just want to say I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for all the pain. All of it.”

She looked at him and caught a glimpse of the man she had once married. “Thanks.”

“I hope one day we can have a cup of coffee and catch up and be friends,” he said.

She didn’t know what to think of that, so she shrugged.

He handed her an envelope. “Maybe read this later.”

“Okay.”

“I can’t believe this might be the last time I ever see you,” he said.

She paused and studied him.
Yes, it might,
she realized.

“Well, good-bye, then, Jill. I wish nothing but the best for you.”

“Good-bye, David. It’s been significant.” It was all she could think of to say.

He didn’t try to hug her or kiss her on the cheek, and for that she was grateful. He didn’t take her hand and squeeze it the way people do after someone dies. She was grateful for that, too. She followed him out of the courthouse, and this time no woman picked him up. This time, he got into his own BMW alone and drove away.

She caught a taxi back to the airport. In the backseat, she opened his envelope and read his card.

Dear Jill,

I want to thank you for all the good times, for marrying me in the first place, for the Bahamas and Mexico, for the ways you made holidays special, for the ways you made me feel loved. I want to apologize for failing you. I think I will live with that regret for the rest of my life. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day. I guess I just wasn’t strong enough to weather our loss. I love you, Jill, and I always will.

Love, David

She wondered whether his mistress had dumped him, but she appreciated his gesture nonetheless.

On her flight back to Denver, she thought about her options. She could buy her own little home now. She could.

Her mind drifted back to David, imagining what it might be like to have a cup of coffee with him one day. And it wasn’t that she didn’t forgive him. It wasn’t even that she had strong negative feelings about it anymore. It was more that she would rather spend that time having a cup of coffee with Mike.

She thought about Mike’s dimples and the sparkle in his eyes and realized she couldn’t wait to see him again.

She hadn’t expected to feel any more unburdening, but she did feel it—the past lifting off her chest, off her shoulders, off her heart. She felt the next chapter in her life beginning and felt ready for whatever it might hold.