How to Kill Your Husband (26 page)

With the whole weight of the issue fully in her hands, Nikki hesitated. She decided she didn't like being in the dark any more than her mom did. “I want to know.”

Claire took a deep breath and sighed. “All right.” She regarded her daughter intensely. “You're a lot braver than I was at your age.”

Nikki smiled hesitantly.

“The reason I asked George about your dad not coming home,” Claire said, “is because I found out he's been cheating on me.”

Nikki's mouth fell open.

“Yeah,” Claire said. “That's pretty much how I felt. But it's worse than that, Nicole. Not only is your father cheating on me, but he's been with the other woman for
eight years
. They have children together. Twins.”

Nikki stared at her mom like she was watching a magic trick. “Nuh-uhn.”

Claire nodded. “Trust me, I wouldn't lie on your daddy, especially about something like that.”

Nikki shook her head in bewilderment. “Daddy has some more kids?”

“Yes, he does,” Claire said. “They were at the hospital earlier today. That's why we had to wait a while before I took you guys. His girlfriend was there, too.”

“Oh, my God, Mama…”

“I'm going to divorce him,” Claire said. “I didn't know how you kids would feel about it, so that's why I asked George Jr. that question. I regret it now. It didn't do anything but stir up a hornet's nest.”

Nikki was speechless.

“I didn't want you to see them take the bike,” Claire went on, “because I got so mad I beat your dad's motorcycle with a sledge hammer. I called the wrecker to pick it up because I'm ashamed of what I did. I didn't want you guys to know about it—at least not until I told you about the divorce.”

Nikki looked like she was having second thoughts about the big girl drawers she put on. “You broke Daddy's Harley?”

“I flattened it like a pancake,” Claire admitted.

“So Dad really
did
have a heart attack?”

“What did you think?” Claire asked. “You don't think
I
did something to put him in the hospital, do you?”

Nikki didn't nod, but she was on the verge of it.

“I was mad at your father,” Claire said, “but I could never hurt him—not even if I wanted to. Trust me.”

Nikki smiled and a whole world of weight lifted from her small shoulders.

Claire threw her arms around the child, and Nikki laid her head on her mother's shoulder.

“How do you like being a big girl?” Claire asked.

“It sucks,” Nikki admitted. “But I feel better.”

They held onto each other for a while, and then Nikki looked up and frowned.

“Do I have another little brother, or do I have a big brother?”

Claire chuckled. “Another
little
brother.”

Nikki rolled her eyes and moaned. “That sucks, too.”

“I'm glad we're finally on the same page,” Claire said.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

A STRATEGIC MEETING

Claire called at five to make sure her husband had no other visitors before she took the kids to Jackson Memorial. The whole time they were there Claire expected Kim to round every corner, but Ms. Pate was no longer at the hospital, and she didn't show up again during the kid's visit.

Claire wanted to ask George if he told his mistress the truth yet, but they were never left alone and she didn't get a chance. But it didn't matter anyway. Soon everyone would know all about his sordid deeds.

Nikki already knew her father's secrets, but, as instructed, she didn't let the cat out of the bag. She hugged her daddy and smiled at him and doted on him, and Claire thought she should get an Oscar for her performance.

George watched his wife's eyes a lot during the visit, and each time he saw the same message behind her dark pupils:
You're an asshole, I'm only here for the kids, and we're still getting a divorce
.

When it was time to go, Claire almost laughed when a nurse asked if she wanted a cot so she could spend the night.

“Uh, um, no thank you,” she told her. “I definitely do not want to spend the night. Not now and not ever.”

In the background George watched solemnly like an old, desperate man, but Claire had no sympathy for him. She gathered her brood around her and didn't look back.

“Come on, y'all. Let's go home, get some ice cream.”

“Bye, Dad!” George Jr. called over his shoulder. “I can't wait for you to come home.”

Claire and Nikki locked eyes and exchanged a knowing look.

“Yeah,” Claire said. “I can't wait to see how that turns out, either.”

* * *

Later that evening the kids started to miss their dad again when it was time for bed, but they weren't too upset about it. George wasn't around for them most of the time when he was healthy. Plus Claire knew they got a lot of their cues from her, and since she wasn't crying and moping around the house, they had no inclination to do so, either.

Her girlfriends came over at eleven, and it was a struggle to keep them quiet until the youngsters were officially asleep. Later they posted up in the den with three shot glasses, one bottle of bumpy face, and a whole lot of catty estrogen. Melanie and Becky wanted to hear all about the battered motorcycle and the look on George's face when Claire finally got her chance to shut him down, but the conversation eventually made its way to Kimberly Pate's
audacity.
The girls had different views on that subject.

“She loves him,” Claire said. “I could hear it in her voice when I called her. I saw it in her eyes. She loves George's dirty drawers.”

“That's the problem right there,” Melanie argued. “You shouldn't be in love with somebody else's husband.”

“She doesn't know he's married.”

“You don't know that.” Melanie leaned forward and poured everyone another shot. She spilled a fourth serving on the coffee table and plucked half dozen Kleenex to wipe it up. “Ooh, I'm sorry.”

“I got it.” Claire grabbed the tissues and cleaned the mess herself. She then took her glass and turned it up with her comrades. The liquor was strong, but this was her fifth shot. She was already somewhat inebriated, and the alcohol was going down with more and more ease.

“She wouldn't put up with him if she knew he was married,” Claire guessed.

“You don't know what bitches will do nowadays,” Melanie warned. “Some hos
like
to be the other woman.”

“She went to her house,” Becky said.

“Yeah, I went to her house,” Claire said. “She didn't know me at all. Even when I told her my real name she didn't have any recognition.”

“What about when she went to the hospital?” Melanie questioned. “She had to know he was married by then.”

“I'm the one who called her,” Claire countered. “I told her I was a nurse, and I didn't say anything about him being married. Plus I saw her on my way out, and she didn't say anything to me.”

“She been keeping her mouth closed all these years,” Melanie said. “She ain't got no reason to say nothing now.”

Claire shook her head in exasperation. “Look, whether she knows now or not isn't even the point. What I need to figure out is where she wants to go from here. Does she want to be with him anyway, or does she feel the same way I do? And if she still doesn't know he's married, who should tell her?”

“Wow,” Becky mused. “Can you imagine that? If it was your boyfriend of eight years, this man you've got children with, and someone calls you one day to say he's been married the whole time?”

“Don't nobody care what she feels like,” Melanie said.

“I do,” Claire said, and the conversation skipped a beat.

“Why?” Melanie wanted to know.

“Because I was her,” Claire said. “I was in the same boat with her. I know how I felt when I found out what was going on. She's going through the same thing. Plus I'm about to divorce George and take everything he has. What do the twins get out of it?”

“Forget them twins,” Melanie said with a frown. “That's
they
problem.”

“No man is an island,” Becky warned.

Melanie sneered at her. “What?”

“That's John Donne,” Claire said.

The clarification didn't help. “So, what that mean?” Melanie asked.

“It means
they
matter just like
she
matters,” Claire said. “Just like
I
matter, just like
you
matter. We're all in this together. No one's out there all by themselves.”

“Bitch don't matter to me,” Melanie said.

Becky didn't have a seventeenth-century poet to quote for that one. “Are you going to tell your kids about the twins?” she asked instead.

Claire shook her head and looked up to the heavens for guidance. “I don't know. What do you think?”

Becky shrugged. “Are you asking me or Jesus?”

Claire grinned and shook her head. “I'm asking
you
, dingus.”

Melanie laughed. “I think you should tell them,” she said.

“Me, too,” Becky said.

Claire frowned. “Tell them their dad was a
freak
?”

“
No
,” Becky said with a giggle. “You don't have to tell them
that
.”

“How else can I put it?” Claire wondered. “I know I have to tell them something, but I'm still worried about how they'll react to the divorce, let alone those twins. You should've seen Nikki's face when I confided in her.”

“Tell them a lot of great men had relations outside of their marriage,” Becky suggested.

“Great men like who?” Claire wondered.

“Well, like Thomas Jefferson for one.”

“You sure picked one hell of an example,” Claire said. “They have Jefferson family reunions every year, and they fought like hell to keep those black people out.”

“They
eventually
let them in.”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Girl, we're going to have to work on your persuasion skills.”

* * *

The next few days crept by like years, and time did more to heal the Hudgens' wounds than any medication could have. The kids went back to school on Monday and Claire returned to work the same day. No one at the office knew about George's heart attack or the divorce, so there were refreshingly few condolences to deal with.

The morning hours were slow that day, so Claire had time to call her lawyer and update him on the recent developments. Trevor was blown away by the news of George's heart attack, and he was equally shocked by Claire's new proposition.

“You, you want to, what?”

Claire sat up in her seat with her elbows on the desktop. She chewed on the back of her pen and looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. “I think it's the right thing to do,” she said.

“Well, I don't know if that's even
legal
,” Trevor argued. “I, I have to say I never heard of anything like it. Not to mention how much this would affect your case. If we can find a judge who will allow it, she's likely to get half of everything you would've got.”

“Yes, I know that,” Claire said. “And I'm okay with it. As long as I get the house, I don't mind splitting the rest.”

There was a long pause and then a big sigh on the other end of the line. “Where'd you get this idea, anyway?” Trevor wanted to know.

“From TV,” Claire said quickly.

“Nothing good ever came from
TV
,” Trevor muttered.

“Don't be so negative,” Claire kidded. “Just because most lawyers are soulless bloodsuckers doesn't mean you have to follow suit.”

“Ouch, ouch and ouch,” Trevor said. “You know I'm not like that. I'm just looking at things from a legal perspective.”

“Well, answer me this,” Claire said. “Do you think those twins are entitled to any support?”

“Well, of course I do.”

“And Kim,” Claire said, “you don't think she deserves anything?”

“I don't know if she does or not,” Trevor said. “She's not my client, and she has nothing to do with my case.”

“She has everything to do with this case.”

“But only as evidence.”

“Yeah, and that's what I want to change,” Claire said.

There was another pause and another big sigh from Trevor Smiley. “What were you watching on TV, anyhow?” he asked.

Claire giggled. “It was an infomercial for Jerry Ampler.”

“Aw, jeez.”

Jerry Ampler was one of the most notorious trial lawyers in Texas. The majority of his cases were frivolous fender benders, and it was rumored he had nearly half of the state's trauma doctors and chiropractors in his pocket. But not everything he did was bad.

“It was about the Netavan trials,” Claire reported. “He was asking women to call if—”

“If they had a miscarriage in the last three years,” Trevor interrupted. “And if they were prescribed Netavan during that time period. Yeah, I saw the commercials.”

“That's what gave me the idea,” Claire said.

“For a class-action divorce?”

“Yes. I was already thinking we should do something for Kim and her kids, and I believe that's the best way. We should both go after him, at the same time.”

“Well, first off I don't believe that's possible,” Trevor said. “And secondly, have you had any contact with Ms. Pate? Does she know about the affair yet, and more importantly, does she want to stay with George afterwards? 'Cause if she still wants to be with him, chances are she's not going to get on board with this.”

“Let me deal with that on my end,” Claire said. “What I need you to do is see if you can get this started in the courts.”

“Exactly how do you plan on dealing with it on your end?” Trevor wondered. “I can't write up a thing until I know Kim is down with it.”

“I'm having lunch with Kim today,” Claire said.

Trevor was almost to the point that nothing she said surprised him. Almost.

“Come again.”

“I called her this morning,” Claire said. “I told her I wanted to meet with her so we could talk about George, and she said okay.”

“She didn't ask what it was about—and who you were for that matter?”

“I told her who I was,” Claire said. “She remembers me from when I went to look at the house across the street from her.”

“You did what?”

“It's a long story,” Claire said. “All I know is she remembers me, and she didn't seem too surprised I wanted to talk about George. She didn't ask a lot of questions. She just said okay, she would meet me.”

“You…” Trevor sighed again. “You know what, I don't even want to understand all of this. If you and Kim want to sue George at the same time, then have her call me tomorrow and I'll get to work on it. How you do it is not my business. I work for you.”

“That's right,” Claire said with a grin. “You do work for me, don't you?”

“Yes, ma'am. So if you ever need me to file a brief or lose my briefs or anything like that…”

Claire cracked up. “Lose your briefs?”

“Actually I wear boxers, but—”

“Good day, Mr. Smiley.”

“Good day to you, Claire. And good luck with Kim.”

* * *

Claire left the office at noon and made it to the Don Pablo's on Hulen Street in just five minutes. She didn't see Kim's car in the parking lot, but when she entered the restaurant the hostess asked if her name was Claire.