How to Rise Above Abuse (Counseling Through the Bible Series)

“When Christ confronted Saul on the road to Damascus he asked a penetrating question: ‘Why are you persecuting me?’ This simple question made it clear that when one of Christ’s followers is hurting, He hurts too. I believe that few things grieve the heart of God more than when His children suffer abuse. In this practical yet profound book, June offers hope, help, and healing.”

S
HEILA
W
ALSH
Author,
Beautiful Things Happen When a Woman Trusts God

“I’ve known June Hunt for more than 20 years. She is an exceptionally thorough and biblical counselor whose work I enthusiastically recommend. Over the years, I have referred many of the abuse victims I’ve worked with to June, and they have benefitted greatly from her teaching on the subject…which, now, is reflected masterfully in a single volume.”

C
AROLYN
B
EST
Abuse Victim Counselor
Exchanged Life Ministries, Texas

“There’s no better person to help a victim than one who has been victimized, and who is now victorious. Whether you’re living with abuse—or helping someone who is—
How to Rise Above Abuse
provides biblical hope and practical help for permanent healing.”

D
R
. R
OBERT
S. M
C
G
EE
Author,
The Search for Significance

“Those who have lived with abuse often find it difficult to recognize that they have indeed been abused. June carefully turns on the light for wounded and battered minds and hearts, inviting them to step into the truth and find healing and freedom.”

D
R
. D
IANE
L
ANGBERG
Psychologist
Author,
Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse

“This I personally know—even if you’ve been victimized, you don’t need to live with a victim mentality. Page after page of
How to Rise Above Abuse
reveals how to renew your mind and move triumphantly beyond the pain of your past.”

D
ORIE
V
AN
S
TONE
Author,
No Place to Cry: The Hurt and Healing of Sexual Abuse
and
Dorie: The Girl Nobody Loved

H
OW TO
R
ISE
A
BOVE
A
BUSE

JUNE HUNT

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

EUGENE, OREGON

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version
®
, NIV
®
. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.

Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

Verses marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible
®
, Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible
®
, Holman CSB
®
, and HCSB
®
are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

 

Verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses marked ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

 

Verses marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL 60189 USA. All rights reserved.

Cover by Garborg Design Works, Savage, Minnesota

Cover photos © iStockphoto / larryye, rtyreel

Disclaimer

Dear Reader,

Be aware that some victims of abuse could experience difficulty reading certain portions of this book because the words might trigger an emotional reaction due to past trauma. Therefore, caution needs to be taken by those who have not processed the pain of past abuse.

Our prayer is that the truths within these pages will encourage you to move toward emotional and spiritual healing.

Yours in the Lord’s hope,

June

HOW TO RISE ABOVE ABUSE
Copyright © 2010 by Hope for the Heart, Inc.
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Hunt, June.
How to rise above abuse / June Hunt.
p. cm. — (Counseling through the Bible series)
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-0-7369-2333-0 (pbk.)
1. Adult child sexual abuse victims—Religious life. 2. Psychological abuse victims—Religious life. 3. Abused wives—Religious life. 4. Child sexual abuse—Religious aspects—Christianity.
5. Psychological abuse—Religious aspects—Christianity. 6. Wife abuse—Religious aspects—Christianity. I Title.
BV4596.A25H96 2010
248.8’6—dc22

2010012644

All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Printed in the United States of America

10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18
LB-SK
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

This book is fittingly dedicated to my “sister-in-love,” whom I admire beyond words, for she has helped countless women and children rise above the storm clouds of abuse.

Nancy Ann Hunt is the kind of volunteer/board member/organizer every executive director dreams about—but few wake up to find. She is, indeed, their “dream come true.”

Through Nancy Ann’s tireless service on the board of the Genesis Women’s Shelter—a sanctuary for victims of domestic abuse—she has been used by God to give help to the helpless…and hope to those who feel hopeless. At this haven of refuge, women and children find a place where hands are not used for hitting and a place where hearts begin their healing.

Because people love being around Nancy Ann, with her delightful humor and extraordinary thoughtfulness, she has enjoyed great success in mobilizing volunteers and leaders alike…and has inspired people to give to the lifesaving ministry of CONTACT. Through this 24-hour crisis line, adults and teenagers—many suicidal—receive real help: resources, education, and emergency assistance. Victims of violence, runaway teens, and others in crisis receive free cab rides to hospitals and
safe
shelters.

How well I remember first learning about New Friends, New Life, a marvelous Christian ministry that reaches out to women involved in sexually oriented trades—women who were almost always the victims of childhood sexual abuse, and who, as many as one-third, were the victims of sex trafficking.

Typically these prostitutes and exotic dancers fear they cannot earn a living in any other profession. However, this ministry equips them to enter safe, dignified, and conventional careers. In the early years, the devoted board members struggled to leverage their modest resources. Then came Nancy Ann—full of creativity, encouragement, and commitment! As a result, public awareness and support began to flow—like overflowing baskets of loaves and fishes.

Notice what Proverbs 31:8 says: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves.” Well, Nancy Ann has indeed spoken up—both
passionately
and
compassionately
—using her enormous influence on behalf of victims who would otherwise have no voice. Only in heaven will we get a glimpse of the wounded throngs who—because of her life—have been able to lift off, take flight, and
rise above abuse
.

Acknowledgments

Just as a lone, wounded bird is more vulnerable to further harm, healing from the pain of abuse doesn’t occur in isolation. Real healing is completed and even celebrated in an atmosphere of caring people. The same could be said of the creation of this book on abuse. Members of our Hope for the Heart family contributed their best efforts so that every page could “take wing.” Thus with great pleasure, I gratefully acknowledge the “caring flock” who made this book possible:

 

From the “early nest”:

Beth Stapleton, June Page,
and
Kay Deakins
, who helped launch the earliest versions of the five
Biblical Counseling Keys
contained in this volume.

From the “current nest”:

Barbara Spruill
and
Carolyn White
, who helped the project climb with cohesion and clarity in each chapter, and who brought our excessively soaring word count back to earth. And
Jill Prohaska,
who glided through the introduction and sidebars with grace.

Angie White
, our conscientious project coordinator, whose chirping kept our flock flying forward. And
Elizabeth Cunningham,
who swooped in with last-minute assistance.

Connie Steindorf
and
Jeanne Sloan,
who pecked away at countless drafts to key, research, and proof all revisions.

Titus O’Bryant
, who meticulously researched every footnote and endnote to make sure they would truly “all fly.”

Bea Garner, Karen Williams,
and
Laura Lyn Benoit,
who hovered over the manuscript to proof with perfect precision.

And our trusty Harvest House editor extraordinaire,
Steve Miller,
whose steady support enabled this book to soar to new heights.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

 

INTRODUCTION

CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE

The Secret Storm

I. Definitions of Childhood Sexual Abuse

II. Characteristics of Childhood Sexual Abuse

III. Causes of Childhood Sexual Abuse

IV. Steps to Solution

 

SPIRITUAL ABUSE

Religion at Its Worst

I. Definitions of Spiritual Abuse

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