How to Seduce a Scoundrel (35 page)

At intermission, Hawk released her hand. She felt unaccountably shy with him. It was silly, for she’d known him so long, but everything had changed.

When Hester suggested a round of champagne, Hawk begged off. “No, I think I’ll avoid all spirits for a while.”

“I don’t care for any, either, Hester,” Julianne said.

Amy, Georgette, and Sally entered the box. “Are we interrupting?” Georgette asked.

“No, of course not,” Hester said.

Hawk helped Julianne rise and escorted her to her friends.

“We saw you from my parents’ box,” Georgette said.

Hawk bent his head. “Julianne, I saw a friend of mine on the other side of the theater. Will you mind if I call on him while you speak to your friends?”

She met his gaze, feeling as if she were dreaming. “Of course I do not mind.”

“Ladies.” He bowed and left the box.

Her friends drew her aside. “Oh my goodness,” Georgette said. “The way he looked at you. I cannot believe you didn’t melt into a puddle on the floor.”

Her face grew warm as she lowered her lashes.

“You are shy tonight,” Amy said.

“I don’t know what has come over me.” But of course she did. She was in love.

“Do you have an understanding?” Sally asked.

Julianne looked up and shook her head quickly. He’d made no promises, but he’d held her hand.

“Something has happened,” Georgette said. “He looked very much like a man in love.”

“We should not press her,” Amy said. “I fear we have done so before.”

Julianne regarded her gratefully. “Do you know what it is like to think a dream is about to come true, but you’re afraid of hoping too much?”

“If he does not propose to you by the end of the season, I will be very surprised,” Georgette said.

She bit her lip. “Please, I beg you say nothing to anyone else. I don’t want rumors spreading before anything is decided.”

“We will button our lips,” Amy said. “But, Julianne, you deserve this happiness more than anyone I know.”

A few minutes later, the five cubs called. They all exchanged greetings, and then Beaufort winked at her. “Have you heard the news?”

For a moment, Julianne thought he meant news about her and Hawk, but her common sense prevailed. No one could know. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Do you recall that pamphlet?” Beaufort asked. “The newspapers are calling for a ban.”

“Oh, this is delicious,” Sally said, bouncing on her toes.

Julianne schooled her expression as she glanced at Amy and Georgette.

“I heard every copy sold,” Caruthers said. “A fifth printing is said to be under way.”

Julianne bit back a smile. Everyone was reading her pamphlet. She found it a bit difficult to keep her excitement a secret. But no one would ever guess she’d authored it. Part of her wished she could take credit for
The Secrets of Seduction
, but she’d known all along the necessity of hiding her identity. Still, she had so much to be pleased about tonight. All of the bad times made her appreciate her happiness all the more.

Caruthers grinned at Julianne. “Has Hawk read the pamphlet yet?”

She froze in place, recalling Hawk’s disapproval. “I rather doubt it.”

As the other gentlemen continued to speculate about the author, anxiety climbed in Julianne’s chest. Had she written anything in the pamphlet that would tip off Hawk? She bit her lip. He’d asked for honesty. She couldn’t lie to him, especially now that everything between them was perfect.

Maybe she would just forget to mention she’d authored
The Secrets of Seduction.
Drat it, she couldn’t deceive him. She needed a better plan. He disapproved of the pamphlet, but he’d not read it yet. She would wait until after he read every word. Once he saw the merits of her work, he would not mind so very much that she’d masqueraded as the anonymous lady. Then again, perhaps she ought to wait until after the wedding. She would distract him with kisses and then admit what a naughty girl she’d been.

Delaying wasn’t the same as lying. Was it?

Caruthers smiled at Julianne. “My parents wish to meet all of you. Will you come to their box?”

“Oh, what a lovely suggestion,” Julianne said. “But perhaps I shouldn’t leave. I’m sure the other girls would be delighted to accompany you.” She wanted to wait for Hawk and speak to him about all his plans.

“They’re especially keen on meeting you, Julianne,” Caruthers said. “I’ll not keep you too long.”

How could she refuse without seeming churlish? “Let me speak to Hester.”

When she reached Hester, she asked to speak to her privately. Mr. Peckham excused himself and said he would return shortly.

After he left, Julianne sat next to Hester and told her about Caruthers’s request. “I would prefer to stay. Hawk will return soon.”

Hester smiled slyly. “Gel, you don’t want to appear too anxious. Go on with your friends. My nephew will appreciate you all the more if you make him wait a bit.”

When Julianne hesitated, Hester tapped her with her fan. “Remember
The Secrets of Seduction
.”

“Will you tell him where I’ve gone?” she asked.

“Yes, now go on. He’ll be glad to see you when you return.”

Julianne fidgeted during the long walk with her friends. While everyone else chatted, she kept silent. She hoped the visit would not last too long. Of course, Hester was right that she shouldn’t appear too anxious. But after all the trials and heartache, she wanted to be near him as much as possible, especially tonight. Because today counted as the first day of their blossoming romance.

Caruthers led the way to his parents’ box. Lord and Lady Frammingham welcomed the group enthusiastically. Julianne had to keep reminding herself to listen. She liked his parents very much. They thought it wonderful that the group of friends was sharing the season’s festivities together. When his mother asked her about her brother and Tessa, Julianne told her about the babe and the impending house party.

The curtains opened for the next act. Her friends decided to stay a while longer. Julianne bit her lip. She didn’t want to linger. “I had better go,” she said. “I had a lovely time, but I promised Lady Rutledge I would return promptly.”

Osgood rose. “Allow me to escort you, Lady Julianne.”

“Oh, I do not wish to impose. Please stay. I can find my way back.”

“I insist,” Osgood said. “Hawk wouldn’t like it if we let you go alone.”

She knew it would be rude to continue to refuse. “Thank you, Mr. Osgood,” she said.

As he led her out, she hoped he would not linger in the box. Then she felt awful for even thinking such a thing. Osgood was a nice young man, if a trifle thickheaded at times. She smiled, remembering how he’d traipsed inside Hester’s drawing room, stinking of smoke.

He looked at her. “You look very pretty tonight.”

“Thank you,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “I hope I didn’t offend you with that pamphlet.”

“I took no offense,” she said. “Did you read it?”

“Yes, I did. I was a bit dumbfounded,” he said.

“Why is that?” she asked.

“I didn’t know ladies played tricks on gentlemen.”

“Tricks?” she said.

“It’s not very nice,” Osgood said. “The author tells ladies to plant flowers in her drawing room to make a gentleman think others have been there before him.”

“You don’t believe all is fair in love and war?” Julianne asked.

Osgood blinked at her. “I don’t think it’s fair to hoodwink a gentleman. It’s not easy for men, you know. We have to get up our courage and risk rejection when asking a lady to dance.”

Julianne winced. She’d not thought of it from a gentleman’s viewpoint. To her, it had always seemed that men held all the power, but Osgood had pointed out that men risked humiliation every time they requested a lady’s hand for a dance.

“I’m tempted to write a rebuttal and present a gentleman’s guide to enticing a belle,” he said.

“You’re a poet,” she said. “Writing a pamphlet should come easily to you.”

“Do you think I should?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Why not? You have nothing to lose by trying.”

“By Jove, I will. Thank you for the encouragement, Lady Julianne,” he said.

“Thank you for pointing out the difficulties of courtship from a gentleman’s perspective,” she said. “I might never have known if not for you.”

“You would never be cruel to a gentleman,” Osgood said.

Not intentionally, but as she thought back over the past four seasons, she realized she had treated men as if they were toys to take out and put away at her pleasure.

“I say, there is Hawk by the stairwell,” Osgood said.

Julianne craned her head. And then she saw him, standing with two sophisticated women wearing scandalous gowns. Their cheeks were painted with rouge. They stood on either side of him, clutching his arms.

Her throat closed. No. Oh, no.

“Lady Julianne, are you unwell?” Osgood said.

“Turn around,” she said.

“Why?”

“Please, just do as I say.”

He turned and started walking. “What is wrong?”

How could Osgood be so oblivious? “Please just keep walking for a little while.”

Osgood remained quiet. She was glad of his silence, because she could not bear to speak right now.

Eventually, he halted. “I’m a blockhead.”

She couldn’t look at him. “No, you’re a nice man.”

“I’m sure it’s not what you think,” he said gently.

What else could it be?

“Do you want me to take you back to your friends?”

“No. Go on,” she said. “Lady Rutledge’s box isn’t far.”

The devil. She’d seen him with his two former mistresses.

Hawk strode after her. Bloody hell, he had to explain. They had waylaid him. He’d greeted them to be polite. But Julianne had seen them. He’d hated seeing the flash of pain on her face.

Osgood and Julianne stopped several feet away. Hawk saw the concern on the cub’s face. And then he walked off. She’d probably told him to leave.

When she saw him, he strode faster, expecting her to evade him, but she stood there, glaring at him.

“It’s not what you think,” he said.

“I believed you this afternoon when you said you intended to start anew,” she said, her voice shaking.

He shook his head. “I won’t pretend I don’t know them, but I only said hello.”

“When is the rendezvous?” she said in a curt voice.

“What happened to your unconditional belief in me?” he said.

“I saw those strumpets clinging to your arms,” she said.

“I spoke to them, and that is all.”

“You were smiling.”

“Either you believe in me unconditionally or you don’t,” he said. “If it’s the latter, tell me now. I’ve spent
too many years living under the shadow of my past. Yes, they are part of my sordid past. I’m not proud of it, but I can’t change it. The one thing I won’t do is walk on eggshells because you cannot trust me.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Yes, I do. Last night when I told you my father said men like me never change, you said it wasn’t true. And I believed you. But if you only meant to comfort me, if you believe I’m incapable of being a better man, then tell me now. Because this will never work if we can’t trust each other.”

“I’m afraid,” she whispered.

“Of what?”

“I don’t want to end up like my mother.”

“Good-bye, Julianne.”

“Don’t you dare walk away from me,” she said.

“You said you believe in me unconditionally, but it’s not true. I can’t have you judging me based on a past I can’t change.”

“I can’t change my past, either, and it’s made me scared. I’m vulnerable, too, but I’m willing to give this a chance.”

“You want a chance? Fine, we’ll talk, but not here.”

He took her hand and strode off. When he reached Hester’s box, he told the footman to inform his aunt that he and the lady were taking a hackney. Then he led her to the stairs.

Moments later, they strode through the foyer.

“My pelisse is in the cloakroom,” she said.

“I’ll send for it later,” he gritted out. Then he instructed the doorman to hail a hackney.

As they waited, he gave her an icy stare. “No games tonight, Julianne. Just the raw truth.”

A Scoundrel’s Advice: If you bed her, you must wed her.

J
ulianne inched over in the hackney when Hawk climbed inside.

He knocked his cane on the ceiling and the hackney rolled off. When she tried to move to the other side, he caught her and hauled her back. “Afraid?” he said.

“I think you had better take me home,” she said.