Hunt and Pray (9 page)

He didn’t really think about what he said until Chance chuckled beside him. “You know, Drew, she might have had a point… about the dangerous thing, I mean.”

For a moment, Drew sat there gaping like a fish at him, and then he lost it. He started laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, because it was either that or curl up and bawl for hours.

Chance joined right in.

When they finally stopped and got their breath back, Drew patted Chance on the shoulder. “When you get me out of here, I’m so taking you to meet my mom, just so you can tell her she was right! She loves it when I tell her that!”

All at once, the brief lightening of the moment faded and they were once again left in the crushing darkness.

“Drew, you know I can’t do that, right? If I manage to get you to safety, I’m gonna have to run. They’ll put me in jail if I don’t.” Chance sounded vulnerable and scared. “And if not, my father will kill me for betraying him. I can’t stay anywhere I can be found.”

“I won’t let you go to jail, Chance. You don’t deserve it.” Drew knew it was true as soon as he said it. Chance really was just one more victim of a sociopath. “You’re saving me.”

“But I locked you in that room….” He sounded genuinely confused.

“You didn’t have much of a choice, Chance. You’re helping now, when it counts. I’m sure you’d be going a whole lot faster if you didn’t have to drag me along with you.”

“I couldn’t leave you behind. I couldn’t stop him before, but I can sure try now.” His voice was fierce and angry, but Drew could tell it wasn’t directed toward him.

“I thought you didn’t know about the other men he killed.” Drew was confused, and it scared him.

The sun was just starting to brighten the sky. Chance turned his haunted eyes to Drew, taking his breath away.

“I didn’t. But I knew he killed my mother.”

Chapter Eight

D
REW
was stunned. “Why didn’t you… why did he…?” He didn’t know what answer to go looking for first… or if he truly wanted one at all.

Chance’s head hung heavily between his shoulders. “He strangled her with his bare hands and then made it seem like she’d hung herself. I never”—Chance swallowed hard—“told anyone about it… until now.”

Drew reached up and tentatively put his hand on Chance’s arm. He waited for the other man to push him away but he didn’t, seeming to take comfort in the gesture.

“It’s not that I doubt you, but how do you know he… did that?” Drew gestured vaguely with his hands, like saying the words might hurt Chance all over again.

“I saw it happen.”

Those quiet words dug themselves into Drew’s soul.

“Jesus Christ! How old were you?” Drew cringed as he waited for the answer.

“Three.” The word sounded like it was forced out over crushed glass. “She hid me in a closet, but I could still see what was happening. I have flashes of her begging him to stop until she couldn’t speak anymore.”

“Fuck….” Drew felt sick to his stomach. Just the idea of three-year-old Chance watching the violent death of his mother at the hands of his father made him want to go back to the cabin and kill someone for the first time in his life. No one’s innocence should be destroyed like that.

“I know—” Chance broke off, swallowing again, then continued. “I know I should have told someone a long time ago. He strung her up in their bedroom and told everyone she killed herself.”

Chance was shaking, and Drew didn’t even really think about it. He just moved the hand on Chance’s arm around his chest so he had both arms around him and held tightly to try to stop it. Chance let him.

“She was bruised and bloody, yet not one person questioned his account of what happened. Why should they?” Chance muttered. “After all, he was Colonel Kevin Collins, American war hero extraordinaire, and beyond being fucking questioned about his wife’s death.”

It felt like Chance was going to shake apart with grief while Drew tried to hold him together.

“Chance… it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have stopped it.” Drew wished with all his heart he knew Chance better. It might have helped him find the words to comfort him.

“No… I know. I figured that out a long time ago. But I should have told someone, tried at least to find her justice, but I couldn’t. I was too afraid.” Chance’s voice was dripping with pain and shame.

Drew took Chance’s chin in his hand and turned his head so he had to meet Drew’s eyes. “He’s your father, the person who’s supposed to love and protect you more than anyone. Instead he hurt you and tried to twist you into being something you’re not.”

Drew had never before seen such agony in someone’s eyes. “And yet with everything he did to try and fuck you up, here you are, saving my life.”

“It’s never gonna be enough. Not for her and not for me.” Chance’s voice was soft and ragged. Drew knew what he meant.

“You’re right, it won’t. There’s no way to make up for what he did to either of you. The only thing you can do is keep going and make the best possible life for yourself.” Drew smiled a little as Chance let his temple rest against the top of his head.

“If I would have told someone, maybe those other men wouldn’t be dead….”

Drew didn’t know it was possible for someone so big to sound so small.

“Or you’d be dead and those other men would have died anyway. There’s no way to know. You can’t change the past. It’s what you do from here that matters.” Drew watched as so many emotions stormed through Chance’s expression before the other man nodded.

“You’re right. The first thing I need to do is get you the hell out of here. I know you’re tired. I am too.” Chance brought his hand up, clasped Drew’s arm where it was wrapped around his chest, and squeezed gently. “But we need to keep going if we have any hope of outrunning them.”

Drew nodded. “Okay.”

“Thanks, Drew. For listening, I mean.” Chance smiled at Drew shyly. “And for the first hug I’ve had in a long time.”

Drew smiled sadly at him. “You should have had a lifetime of them by now.”

Chance patted Drew’s arm before he pulled out of the embrace and stood. “Maybe I can start making up for it.” He grabbed Drew’s hand and pulled him to his feet. “If you have any water left, better drink a little, and then we have to head out. I want as much distance between us and them as possible. Later on, maybe we can find somewhere to hole up for the night.”

Drew did as he was told and then pulled his pack back on. “Okay, ready when you are.”

Chance smiled at him and then turned and started off. Drew followed, trying to keep up as best he could. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was almost seven. They had two hours before the colonel would head out after them, although Drew didn’t have much faith the man would wait until the nine o’clock deadline before starting his hunt.

Drew figured the colonel had to know Chance didn’t want to do this. The man was crazy, not stupid. He wouldn’t be surprised if the two killers had left already, and the thought made him try to speed up a little.

They walked for hours, every extra loud snap of a twig making them freeze and listen. They chatted a little, but quietly, afraid the sound might carry and give them away.

Mostly, though, they just hiked. It was hotter than the day before, and soon the uncomfortable trickle of sweat down his spine was distracting Drew. His feet were killing him as well, the shoes he was wearing made for pavement, not hiking through dense bush and over mountains.

The aches in the muscles and tendons in his ankles and the soles of his feet were punctuated by the sharp sting of blisters that had developed on the tender skin of his heels and toes, rubbed open by the constant motion of his shoes. He daydreamed about soaking in a warm tub for hours and then sleeping in a nice soft bed made with cool sheets and a feather duvet.

The two men soon found themselves on a small path that had probably been worn through the trees by deer. It ran parallel to the top of a steep cliff, with just a narrow strip of pine trees separating them from the edge.

Every once in a while, there was a break in the tree line, and Drew could see the valley spread out below. They were about halfway up, and if it were under any other circumstances, he would have loved to enjoy the view with a handsome man by his side.

But looking around and not finding any sign of civilization as far as he could see was terrifying. He felt like reaching help was his and Chance’s only possibility for survival, and right now the prospect of finding any was dismal.

He stopped for a second, needing to take a few breaths. He watched Chance walking along, seemingly like he wasn’t winded in the least, even after all he’d been through.

He was so busy looking that when he started walking again, he didn’t see the large tree root sticking out across the path until he stumbled over it. Reaching out to grab a nearby branch, Drew discovered to his horror that he was farther from the tree than he’d realized and his hand grabbed nothing but air.

He must have cried out as he fell because as he hit the ground and started rolling, he heard Chance’s voice calling his name.

“Drew!”

His backpack caught on something, and he fleetingly prayed it might stop his momentum, but the strap broke and it pulled off as he continued to roll.

Drew closed his eyes, not wanting to see the moment he went over the cliff, when he was suddenly jerked to a halt.

He opened one eye tentatively to find himself flat on his back with Chance on the ground beside him, one big hand clutching the waistband of Drew’s jeans. Their eyes met for one burning second before Drew’s head thumped to the ground.

“Holy shit….” Drew was a writer; he should have had better words for what had just happened, but that was pretty much all his brain was capable of at the moment.

“Hey, Drew?”

Drew opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Chance again. “Yeah?”

He couldn’t believe it when Chance smirked at him. “You always this unlucky, or is it a recent thing?”

Drew glared at him, but it was impossible to keep the smile off his face for long. “Oh, you’re a riot, Chance… a real fucking riot!”

He tried to sit up but realized his feet were hanging off the edge of the cliff, and all of a sudden he wanted nothing more than to throw up.

Chance must have noticed the blood running out of his face, so he gave a little tug on Drew’s jeans to get his attention. “Look at me, Drew, not the edge, okay?” He waited for Drew to nod before continuing.

“I’m gonna pull you back until it’s safe for you to get to your feet. Don’t try getting up until I’m standing and ready to help you, all right?”

Drew nodded again and let Chance pull him back. Once his feet were on solid ground, he used his legs to push so Chance didn’t have to do all the work. When they’d made it about five feet, Chance slowly got to his feet and then helped Drew to stand.

“You okay?” Chance’s voice was concerned but didn’t have a trace of pity.

Drew nodded and opened his mouth to say “yes,” but that’s not what came out.

“No, Chance, I’m really not.” He was trembling so hard he would have fallen to his knees if Chance’s arms hadn’t suddenly come around him to hold him up.

“I’m scared and lost and so fucking angry I can hardly think.” He knew tears were falling down his face, but he didn’t give a shit. “I’ve been kidnapped, beaten, and almost raped, and there’s just no way to make any of those things okay.”

Drew’s chest was tight, and it felt like he couldn’t breathe. “I’m thinking about those other men the colonel killed. They weren’t much more than boys, really, and I bet none of them made it as far as I have because they didn’t have you to help them. They died out here alone and terrified, and their families will never know where they are.”

“I’m sorry.” Chance sounded as lost as Drew felt. He reached up and curled his palm around Chance’s cheek.

“It’s not your fault, Chance… none of it.” He felt bad for yelling.

Chance shook his head. “Jesus, Drew! Don’t you understand? He did it because of me. All because I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be.”

Drew smiled at Chance softly. “Parents should love their children no matter what, Chance. You shouldn’t have to be what they want you to be for them to hold you close and keep you safe. They should want you to be who you are.”

He stroked his finger across Chance’s cheek. “He chose to do this, and he deserves to be punished for it. But you don’t. And so no, I’m not okay right now. But I’m gonna be.”

Chance leaned his forehead against Drew’s, and they stood like that for a few minutes before they both pulled away.

Drew smiled shyly at Chance before turning to look for his pack. When he found it, one strap was completely broken and the other was ripped.

Chance took it from him and opened it up. There was only about half a bottle of water left, so he gave it to Drew to drink a little and then turned so Drew could put whatever was left in his pack.

When they were done, Chance tossed the wrecked bag off the side of the cliff.

“I don’t like to litter, but no sense leaving it laying here for them to find when they come looking for us.”

Drew nodded but then frowned as he looked around. “It’s kind of obvious, though, that someone was rolling around on the ground here. There are a ton of footprints and the rocks have all been pushed around.”

“Not much we can do about it. If we’re lucky, maybe they’ll think one of us fell off the cliff or something.” Drew could see Chance was trying very hard to think positive, but exhaustion and fear were starting to take their toll on both of them.

Drew put his hand on Chance’s arm. “I have faith in you, Chance. We’re gonna get out of here. I know it.”

Chance grinned. “Wish I knew where this optimism was coming from. I’d like to find some for myself.”

Drew smiled. “Don’t worry. I have enough for both of us.” He looked up at Chance curiously. “Do you really think they can track us this far? How is it even possible?”

“Ezra is one of the best trackers the US Army has. He can find pretty much anyone, anywhere. The colonel is pretty good too. And we weren’t exactly being careful about not leaving tracks.”