Authors: Susan Harris
“In your
office there are lots of pictures of you attending events but you are never
with anyone, why?”
Frank laughed,
“oh that’s simple I didn’t bring a female companion with me as I didn’t have
one.
There were
loads over the years that offered, but I knew that they wanted something I
could not give them, and that was a relationship.
I thought
about asking you a few years back but I thought better of it, I knew you had a
boyfriend and by then I had started to have a bit of a crush on you” Frank
blushed.
I stopped and
looked at Frank.
He really had feelings for me all these years and kept them
to himself until Miami, I didn’t know what to say.
“Are you
shocked by my last statement?”
‘A bit, you
did tell me that you liked me in Miami, I just did not realise your feelings
went back that far’
“Look Autum, I
have always liked you and always will, you know that, well I hope you do now. I
backed off because I don’t break up relationships, and all you did at work when
I had the opportunity to work alongside you or go on business trips with you
was talk about Jack. Why would I try and ruin that? You were obviously in love”
OMG, he
wants me still he’s just as much admitted it, but how do I play it from here.
‘It’s not that
I never liked you Frank, I just always looked at you as my boss, but then when
you said what you said in Miami and then kissed me, well things changed between
us”
Frank looked
at me cautiously.
‘What do you
mean changed?’
“Well I felt
angry at first when you kissed me but then I noticed that I was enjoying the
way you grabbed me and held me close to you.
I started to
respond because I wanted more of you, but then I panicked and ran because it
felt wrong.
I was engaged
and I shouldn’t have let myself enjoy the kiss”
‘You were
enjoying it?’
I got
embarrassed when he repeated my statement.
“I thought I
overstepped the mark; I was so cut up about it”
“And I’m sorry
I made you feel that way’
“I thought you
would hate me, raise a grievance, leave the company, I was ashamed of myself’
I grabbed
Frank by his shoulders and reminded him that he had nothing to be ashamed of.
I did not
regret what had happened and before I could stop myself I was saying that I
wished it would happen again.
Frank took one
look at my lips and pulled me towards him, kissing me passionately. This time
there was no struggle, no hurtful words just togetherness.
My lips parted
and the warmness of our tongues sent shivers down my spine.
My hands moved
from his shoulders to his hair gently massaging it, and then down to the side
of his face, I did not want him to stop kissing me.
Frank moved
his hands down by my sides and grabbed my waist, drawing me closer to him and a
moan escaped me.
Frank knew his
desire for this woman was growing and he could feel himself getting aroused, he
starts to panic, as he remembers what happened in Miami coming into his mind
and broke contact.
Franks
breathing was erratic. He took in deep breaths before saying “it’s late; we
need to get back to the lodge”
‘Did I do
something to upset you?’
“No, oh god
no, it’s just I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your words, you are still
hurting.
I just find it
hard to keep away from you that’s all.”
‘Frank, this
has been the best week that I have had. Yes I was hurting but Jack took the
decision to cheat on me.
I never
thought that it would affect me the way it did and I am ashamed about what he
made me do to my apartment. He destroyed what I had built there, the memories,
the fun. When I walked in on them in my bed, fucking like rabbits, I was sick
to the core; I could not even react and left like a fool without doing a damm
thing.
When I went
back to see if they had gone and walked in and closed my eyes, all I could see
was the images of them over and over again and I just flipped.
I could smell
them, I knew each room they had been in, pictured scenes in my head, and it was
only then that I realised that they had ruined what I had built up.
I could no
longer look at my bed, my sofa, my living room without seeing them there.
I had to get
that image out of my head, and the only way I could do that was to destroy
everything I had, it was my way of dealing with it.
I hate him and
that whore, for doing this to me, my fiancé and my best friend, what are the
odds of that?” I laugh like a madwoman in front of Frank.
“It’s always
the ones you least expect, you know it happens to others but you never dream
that it could happen to you.
Do not regret
kissing me Frank, when I kissed you, I was kissing you no one else.
I was not
doing it for revenge that’s not my style. Am I still hurting? Yes, but for
different reasons.
But that kiss,
that kiss was real, I hope you believe that”
I stormed off,
not angry at Frank but with how Jack had again made me feel.
Once I got
back to the lodge I went downstairs to my room, slammed the door, flung myself
on the bed and started to cry.
I could hear
Frank coming downstairs as I tried to stifle my noise.
He knocked,
but before I could tell him to go away he came right in.
I curled
myself into a ball and faced away from him towards the window.
‘I didn’t mean
to upset you Autum’
“When I was
kissing you I had flashes of Miami and I panicked that’s all. Call me silly or
stupid or both. I have waited for you all these years and I want to make sure
that when we get back to normality that you still have these, well these
feelings for me if I can call them that.
I am happy to
wait if I think that you truly want me, that you want us to be together”
I turned
around so quick I nearly gave myself whiplash.
‘Frank, when I
am with you, you make me feel things I shouldn’t feel.
My stomach
goes kind of gooey and I get heart palpitations.
I have felt it
a few times but dismissed it as nonsense”
Frank laughed
‘I would never
have thought anyone could go gooey over me, especially you”
Listen Frank,
I cannot explain what I am going through; all I know is that if I am being
honest, I don’t want to lose you.
I started
feeling this way since Miami; maybe you triggered something deep inside of me
I’m just not sure.
Let’s just see
what happens when we get back” with that, Frank gets off the bed, kisses my forehead
and says; let’s see what happens when we get back home.
Whoever
thought of the saying “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, surely
knew what they were talking about.
Before I knew
it, we were packing up and getting ready to leave.
I said my
goodbyes to José after breakfast hoping that I would get the chance to see him
again.
I had the most
peaceful night’s sleep in a long time. No dreams haunting me, maybe because I
felt that me and Frank were turning a corner and as far as Jack was concerned,
well, not even a thought of him or that bitch had entered my mind, which was a
first.
Frank had
spoken to Rebecca a few times whilst I was checking that I had not forgotten
anything and seemed pleased with her for what she had done.
Maybe my
apartment had been fixed? I thought to myself.
Could I
face going in after how I left it? This was another hurdle I would soon be
facing and also I promised myself that I needed closure with Jack.
Our journey
went by too quick. We had been talking about the weather, future business
trips, and in fact I noticed we talked about everything except what would
happen when I got home.
Frank was
avoiding the subject and I was glad to a point, I just wasn’t ready.
When I started
to recognise familiar streets and shops, and the passing of our work building I
knew that in less that ten minutes I would be home. Frank felt it to as he gave
me a quick reassuring look and told me that everything would be fine.
The car pulled
up outside my block and then I realised I did not have my keys to get in.
‘Rebecca should be waiting for us upstairs’
Oh, ok, I
started to shake, as my memories came back to haunt me.
My breathing
was loud and choppy; I leant onto the wall for support as I started feeling
light headed. Frank grabbed hold of me and held me the rest of the way.
Frank knocked
and Rebecca opened the door to welcome us with a huge smile on her face, when
she saw how I looked, she just helped me inside.
I stopped in
the hallway and could smell fresh paint
he’s decorated?
I slowly went
through the living room and was taken aback.
Gone was my
leather sofa but replaced with a white one with a thin black border surrounding
the edges?
My carpet was
replaced with dark wooden flooring that complimented the living space and
furniture.
I now had a
flat screen TV embedded into my wall so big it took up the whole space.
As I continued
to span the room, there were art paintings, a mini hi-fi, and wall lamps each
costing a pretty package I guess?
With my mouth
still open I was guided into the kitchen, the units were a shocking red.
All appliances
built in, all new cutleries, dinner sets, kettle, microwave, toaster and even a
new dining table. I was sure that there were even more hidden things in the
cupboard like a dishwasher etc.
I could feel
myself welling up, unable to keep my emotions at bay.
I turned to
look at Frank and Rebecca and once I saw the looks on there faces I put my head
in my hands and started to cry.
Rebecca gave
me a hug and asked me “are you upset with the colour scheme?” I looked up and
said it was more than I could ever have wished for and I didn’t know how I
could repay them.
Frank walked
over and said “it’s my gift and I do not expect any type of payment back.”
Rebecca then led me to the room that I had been dreading the most, my bedroom.
It took awhile
before I could open the door, so Rebecca opened it for me.
My walls were
white with the exception of a feature wall which was painted; they told me that
the colour was called Caribbean blue.
The bed was at
least five feet, with a high headboard in the same colour as the featured wall,
with all accessories matching.
I also had a
flat screen on the wall, floor to ceiling wardrobes, and dressing table. Every
trace of what my old bedroom used to look like was gone.
It felt as if
I had just moved into a new apartment, it looked, felt and smelt good.
They had even
re-decorated the bathroom and the spare bedroom.
Rebecca had
even put lilies in the kitchen and living room; she must have known they were my
favourite
.
After all the
inspections were done, I asked if I could have a word with Frank in private,
and without a backward glance Rebecca was gone.
‘Before you
say anything Rebecca helped me with some of the colour schemes it wasn’t all my
doing.’
‘I love it
Frank, it’s beautiful’
But you
shouldn’t have spent all this money on,” but he didn’t let me finish and cut
off my sentence.
“I wanted to.
I could not have you coming back to your apartment the way it was, full of bad
memories.
Would you want
to be reminded of that day every time you came home?
I just thought
a fresh look would help you try and forget that’s all”
As I leaned
over to kiss him, Rebecca returned ‘oh, sorry, I forgot to mention two things:
Your locks
have been changed just in case err you know.
And I would
like you to come over to mine for dinner, can’t having you cooking on your
first day home”
“Thanks, I
never thought about food”
‘Well I have
stocked up with lots of your favourite things that I noticed you had before,
and when you’re settled, I will show you how the appliances work.”
“Ladies, let
me take you both out for dinner, it is the least I can do especially you
Rebecca for overseeing all of this.
You have done
a great job and I won’t forget it, I will pick you up at seven”
When Frank
left, I felt like Mary Poppins. I stretched my arms out and spun around in my
living room.
I grabbed
Rebecca and with a squeal lifted her up and hugged her and told her thanks,
over and over again.
‘I know it’s
none of my business and you can tell me to do one, but you and Frank?’
I smiled.
“There is no me and Frank Rebecca, that’s the truth. He has been very good,
kind and supportive to me and treated me like a delicate china doll. We got on
very well and maybe in time…”
‘Enough said.
You look good together, just never looked at you both in that way before, but
there is something that I need to tell you. I don’t want to be the bearer of
bad news but Jack has been ringing work”
‘Yeah I
overheard Frank talking to you the other day and guessed as much.
Do you still
have my phone?”
“Yes it should
still work, here you go”
‘Tell me you
are not going to ring that bastard?’
“I have to; I
need closure to be able to move on”
‘Do you need
me, just in case things get nasty?”
‘Thanks
Rebecca, but I think I can handle this”
Looking at my
phone I had in total twenty, three missed calls and seventeen, missed messages.