“Y
ou told her what?”
My mom smiles sheepishly. I should have known something was up when I saw her practically run out of the house as I pulled up.
“Well honey, when you think about it, it doesn’t make sense for them to stay over there all alone when they could be here with us,” she explains simply. I let out a deep breath and grab my head. I’m dead. Jenna’s going to kill me.
“You didn’t mention this to me when we finished Caylen’s room. You didn’t ask me. Then you lied to her and told her it was my idea?” I say tightly, and she sighs.
“I didn’t say it was your idea. I said you thought it was a fantastic idea,” she clarifies, and I begin pacing.
“Mom, this isn’t good,” I say with a nervous laugh. “What did dad say?” I know he couldn’t have agreed to this.
“Your father doesn’t know yet but don’t worry about him. He will see the logic in this as well once I explain it to him.”
Oh, great. Dad doesn’t know. This is going to go over really well.
“Chris, what is the issue with her staying here?” she asks as if she doesn’t get it. I really don’t have a problem with Lauren staying here. It makes sense for her to stay but I know for sure Jenna is definitely not going to see her staying here as a purely logical decision.
“Mom, have you forgotten about Jenna? Things are pretty rocky right now and I’m just starting to get back on her good side. This isn’t going to help me with her at all,” I say, looking her directly in the eyes.
“Christopher, she’s not staying in the same room with you. She’ll be on an entirely different floor. Caylen is going to be your daughter a lot longer than this little visit. Jenna will have to be able to trust you being alone with her mother,” she says, and I let out a groan. How can she not see Jenna’s side in this, or does she not care? It’s not like my mom to be so one-sided…unless. I turn to look at her and survey her expression.
“Do you not like Jenna, Mom?” I ask her genuinely, and for a second her expression goes blank. “You don’t like her,” I state in disbelief, and she shakes her head.
“I didn’t say that, honey.” she states adamantly, but just from that look I can see that isn’t true.
Great.
My mom doesn’t like the woman I want to marry and never bothered to say anything about it.
“Regardless if you like her or not, you have to admit this isn’t fair to her at all. How am I going to explain this?” I ask her, and she lets out a little huff.
“Blame me. Tell her it was all my idea. I will not allow my only grandchild to spend three weeks in a hotel when she could be here with me. I won’t allow it, Christopher,” she says sternly.
“She’ll think you don’t like her and she can’t think that. Especially now, Mom.” This is bad,
really
bad.
“Honey, I told Lauren you’d bring their bags in from the car. That was the reason I came out here,” she interrupts my thoughts and hands me Lauren’s keys. I’m going to have to think of something. I can’t tell Lauren she has to leave and it does make sense that she stays here.
Jenna’s logical. It’ll be fine.
It’s all going to be fine. My mom’s right. After these three weeks, Lauren’s not going to disappear. There are going to be times when we’re together—alone, even—and it’ll be cool because we’re going to become friends over the next three weeks. I’ll honestly be able to say to anyone that asks that she’s just my friend. I take a deep breath and retrieve the two suitcases and duffle bag out of the back of Lauren’s car. I can’t ignore the excited feeling I have knowing they’re going to be here for almost a month. I’m nervous and I know there will be difficult things we’ll need to deal with, but it won’t be all hard, bad, or uncomfortable.
Everything’s going to be good.
“Everything’s going to be good,” I mutter to myself as I enter the house through the kitchen. Things are looking up already. My mom has a plate of chocolate chip cookies waiting for me. I make my way to Caylen’s room and see her playing with the dollhouse my dad put together for her.
“Hey there,” I say as I put down the bags. She has a doll in one hand and a cookie in the other. She starts to laugh as I pick her up.
“Can we share your cookie?” I ask her, and she starts to put it in my mouth. Too bad it’s soaked with drool.
“Hey.” I turn around and see Lauren standing in the doorway. She’s wearing an oversized white sweater and jeans, her hair up in a ponytail. I feel the same excitement I did when I first saw her, except this time she has a wide, warm smile on her face.
My god, she’s beautiful.
But so is Jenna.
Jenna is beautiful and you love Jenna.
“How was your trip?” I ask as I sit down on the rocking chair my mom selected for the room.
“Good,” she nods, and her wide smiles changes. She quickly looks over her shoulder and closes the door behind her.
“I know your mom said you thought this was a
fantastic
idea but I just wanted to make sure that this is really okay with you?” she asks hesitantly, her hand gripping her wrist. She looks nervous and even though she just met my mother, she clearly sees that this was a desperate grandmother’s scheme.
Still, the moment she walked into the room while I was holding Caylen, my feelings changed.
“I can’t think of any other place I’d rather you guys be than here,” I say. Her eyes widen a little and she exhales. Maybe I shouldn’t have used those exact words but that’s what I was thinking, and it just slipped out.
“How do you like the room?” I say quickly, changing the subject.
“I love it. It was really sweet of you all,” she says shyly. I can’t believe I make her shy but I do. I wonder if I make her feel as nervous as she makes me feel.
“My mom picked everything out. My dad and I put everything together.” I chuckle.
“Your dad’s okay with me staying here?” she asks quietly as if someone is going to walk in on us.
“No one asks him about anything around here,” I joke, and she laughs tilting her head back and showing her dimples. I try to slow my heartbeat. There’s a knock on the door that startles her. I guess she forgot she closed it. She opens it and my mom is standing there with a nervous smile.
“What’s up mom?” I ask, the expression on her face worries me.
“Chris, can I steal you for a moment?” she asks. Lauren looks at me with concern.
“Okay,” I say calmly and give Lauren a reassuring smile. I release Caylen to the teddy bear she’s beating up. When I’m out the room, she closes the door behind me.
“Jenna’s just pulled up outside,” she informs me nervously.
Oh crap.
“Did you tell her to come today?” she asks timidly. I nod. I did tell her to come today but I didn’t think she’d come right now.
“Did you tell Lauren Jenna was coming today?” she asks tightly
Nope.
My mom lets out a nervous sigh.
“Chris, with this many women in your life, you’re going to have to learn to communicate a little better.” She sighs. It’s not a communication problem, more like a procrastination problem.
“I think you should let Lauren know that Jenna’s about to arrive and I’ll let Jenna in,” she says, pointing me back to the room. She shakes her head before leaving me standing next to the door looking like an idiot.
I am an idiot.
I should have talked to Lauren about this a while ago but it can’t be that big a deal. She knows about Jenna and that she’ll eventually have to meet Caylen.
It’ll be fine.
I let out a deep sigh before going in. When I enter, she’s unpacking her suitcase. She glances up at me curiously.
“What’s up?” she asks knowingly. I must look how I feel.
“I wanted to have a chance to talk to you about this first but…well, Jenna’s here to meet Caylen,” I say and swallow the lump in my throat. She drops the shirt she was folding and I can tell her breathing has changed. She doesn’t look at me. She keeps her eyes on the shirt she was folding. If I didn’t feel like an ass before, I definitely do now. Her face is flushed and I know it’s not from embarrassment, or maybe it is. The first time I saw her face flushed that color, Cal was the cause. This time I can’t blame him. This is strictly because of me.
“She’s here now?” Her sentence is quick but choppy.
“Yeah,” I nod. The next few seconds are more than awkward. I have a feeling Lauren’s burning holes in the shirt she’s staring at to keep from burning holes in my face. There’s an eerie silence until Caylen starts hitting one of her books on the floor. This seems to snap Lauren out of her trance.
“Just give me a few minutes to clean her up,” she replies picking up Caylen and taking the soggy chocolate chip cookie from her hand. I turn around to face her before I walk out.
“Thanks Lauren.” She glances up at me with tight smile as she starts to wipe Caylen’s mouth. When I close the door, I let out a deep breath and pray for this to go as smoothly as possible. It can’t be any worse than the last time they met.
Hopefully.
I’
m an idiot. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I don’t know why—probably because I am an idiot—but a part of me sort of thought things were about to change. Initially, I thought that staying here was a ploy his mom was using to have more time with Caylen, but when he said that there was nowhere else he’d rather have us stay, I thought there was a chance.
A chance that maybe Chris could see me the way Cal did. Now I know there is no chance of that. I didn’t even have one bag unpacked before that little delusion crumbled around me. I should have expected this, I really should have.
As Raven said, I told him I was leaving the past in the past. He’s engaged to another woman, a woman that would eventually have to meet Caylen. His life hasn’t stopped moving forward.
I’m still the foolish girl Cal left behind, waiting. I’m still waiting, the only one waiting apparently. Jenna’s no longer going to be the strange woman I saw once, she’s going to be a part of all
this.
She’s not waiting for anything since she already wants to meet Caylen, and if she’s meeting Caylen, she has no intention of going anywhere. Somewhere in me, I was hoping the craziness of this situation would run her off, but apparently she’s just as stupid as I am and is in this for the long haul. How am I supposed to face her? How do you make nice and pretend to be cordial with a woman who is engaged to the man you’re in love with? I’ve done a lot of fake smiling and pretending, but I’m not a good enough actress to pull this off long term. I have to try because there’s no way they’re taking Caylen anywhere alone.