If I Break THE COMPLETE SERIES Bundle (74 page)

I guess Chris and I have more in common than I thought.

W
hen I walk out on the porch to meet Jenna, she immediately pulls me towards her and kisses me on the lips. It’s strange because she’s been understandably standoffish since Lauren arrived on my doorstep. I didn’t get a chance to see Lauren on my way out. I’m guessing the conversation went well for Jenna since she is in such a good mood.

“So what was that about?” I ask, holding her waist as she smiles up at me.

“The kiss?” she purrs.

“Your
private
talk with Lauren.” I chuckle.

“I just thought we needed to clear up some things. Have a better understanding of one another,” she says sweetly, and I can feel my eyebrow arch. I know Jenna and from the way she acted towards Lauren inside, I can only imagine what happened outside, especially with her being in such a good mood.

“What’d you say?” I ask her hesitantly.

“Nothing much. Just making sure she’s aware of the context of our relationship and where she fits.” She shrugs innocently.

Oh no.

“Jenna,” I say, letting her go and she frowns. “What did you say?” I ask her again, and she rolls her eyes.

“What’s more important is what
she
said,” she retorts, and I cover my face and sigh.

“I just want you guys to get along,” I say in frustration because I know whatever was said hasn’t made them any closer.

“Look, we’re both adults. We’re never going to be friends. What’s important is that she should know her place,” she says.

“Let me guess. You put her in her place?” I groan.

“I had to. You don’t like to do the hard stuff, Chris, which is fine. We balance each other out. That’s what makes us work,” she says innocently.

“Jenna, I told you I’d handle this!” I say angrily.

“There is still a lot more for you to handle, Chris, but we both know how you are, and I wanted it known as soon as possible where this is going to end,” she says stubbornly.

“That’s the thing, this doesn’t end! She’s in our lives permanently. It’d be a lot easier to deal with her amicably than have her upset and pissed off. Things don’t have to be like that,” I say.

“I can’t believe you’re mad at
me
for doing what
you
should have from the beginning!” she scoffs. “You need to get the notion that we are all going to be best friends and have dinners and outings together, out of your head. That’s
never
going to happen. Do you remember how we met and why she’s here?” she spits at me.

“I’m not asking you to be her friend. What I am asking you to do is to be cordial and polite, to not treat her like, like…” I stumble to find the right word.

“Like she’s the bane of my existence.” She chuckles.

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” I say sarcastically.

“But she is,” she says bluntly, and I sigh.

“She’s only going to be here for three weeks tops, Jenna. I really hope that you can start to try to not see her that way. When we’re married, there are most likely going to be times when you will have to speak with her or be around her while I’m not there…”

“You mean in town?” she asks, interrupting me.

“What?” I ask.

“You said she’ll only be here
three
weeks tops. You mean in town?” she asks suspiciously, and I look away from her knowing that this is about to take the conversation in the opposite direction than I wanted it to go in.

“She’s staying here?” Jenna spits my words back at me. I shouldn’t have said anything but I didn’t know if Lauren had mentioned it. I’m trying not to add liar along with mentally unstable fiancé to my résumé, but reactions like this, even if understandable, make me want to lie.

“You thought I’d be okay with this?” she asks me angrily.

“She’s going to be on an entirely different floor of the house. It doesn’t make sense for them to stay in a hotel and pay all that money and go back and forth,” I say, mimicking my mom’s argument. I can tell by the look on her face that she’s not buying this at all.

“Why the hell does she need to stay with you, Chris?” she fires back angrily.

“She’s not staying with just me. My parents are here!” This is not working at all.

“Caylen is your daughter too! She doesn’t need to be here. Don’t tell me she doesn’t trust you with her,” she states in disbelief.

“She’s only one, Jenna. Maybe she doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her with people she’s just met,” I say a little irritated.

“You are NOT a stranger to her,” she says angrily. “You can’t be that oblivious. She’s in love with you, Christopher!” she says, jabbing her finger into my chest.

“It’s not me she’s in love with, Jenna! It’s Cal.” I say angrily. If I need anyone to get this, it’s her. If she doesn’t get it how can I expect anyone else to?

“Who do you think she sees when she looks at you?!” she says sharply.

“Exactly! She’s going to get to know me while she’s here and see that I’m not him,” I shout back at her. She looks surprised. “Jenna I don’t want to argue about this every time I see you,” I plead, grabbing her hands. She snatches them away and puts them on her hips.

“There aren’t going to be anymore arguments,” she says calmly, and I’m a little caught off guard by her mood change. “I’m going to have my mom’s firm draw up papers for your divorce,” she says simply. My eyes widen.

“No, you’re not going to do that. I don’t want your parents to know about this!”

“Christopher, they already know. Apparently almost everyone in this town knows that you have a daughter now. I had to explain before they found out and came to a much worse conclusion,” she shrugs, and I scratch my head. What could be any worse than this?

“What did they say?” I ask reluctantly. She smirks.

“What do you
think
they said?” she says, sighing. That’s fantastic.

“Have you stopped to think about how this makes me look, Chris?” she asks, and I look down guiltily.

I haven’t.

I’ve been so busy trying to figure all this out that I didn’t think about what people might think of her.

“Look, I don’t care what people think about me, especially here. I’d just like you to be considerate of me, the other woman involved in this,” she says, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. I tug her towards me and she lets me hug her. I stroke her hair.

“I want this mess to be over with. I want us to start our life together and having her here, waving your marriage in front of me makes this a thousand times worse. I feel completely ridiculous wearing my ring while she has your last name,” she whimpers.

“Everything’s going to work out. I promise. Okay?” I step back and tilt her chin up to mine. She smiles at me and I hug her tightly. The past few conversations we’ve had end with her crying in my arms. I tell myself again, everything’s going to work out but each time it feels like a lie. At the end of three weeks, someone’s going to be hurt.

How do you hurt someone in the best way possible?

After our fight, Jenna made me feel so bad about Lauren staying that I agreed to go to her dad’s partner fundraising dinner I had forgotten about. I’m not looking forward to it, but I’m hoping I can blend in with the background or bump into someone who might talk about last night’s game.

When I told Lauren I was going she didn’t say much. She just gave me a small smile and kept watching TV. My mom reacted more to the news than Lauren, asking how I could leave Caylen on the first night home. But Lauren actually jumped to my defense, saying she’d be out in less than a half hour after I leave. My dad disappeared into his man cave after I heard him and my mom arguing about Lauren staying with us. I didn’t stick around to eavesdrop about the details. I’ve had enough arguments this week to last a lifetime.

I only have three suits. A grey one that makes me feel like I’m going to a funeral, a blue one Jenna bought me that makes me feel like a car salesman, and a black one that makes me feel like I’m in the mob. If I had to choose between them, the mob seems more exciting, but I grab the one Jenna bought. I shower and throw on the suit with a white shirt and black tie. I look at myself in the mirror and feel like I’m playing dress up in someone else’s clothes. I don’t know anything about fashion or what’s
in
and I can’t help but feel like something is off about my look. Jenna will have to give me a break on this one. I head towards my mom’s room and see her already sleeping. I was going to ask her to help me out but she’s had a long day. She was up even earlier than she usually is to prepare for Caylen’s arrival. I head downstairs in the dark except for the light shining under the door of Caylen’s new room. I can hear music playing. I walk towards the door to knock, but I don’t. Lauren has been pretty quiet since the talk with Jenna. Not that I blame her. She didn’t say much at dinner and looked a little dazed. I don’t know what they said to each other but whatever it was has caused her to be standoffish with me. I guess that’s a good thing. I know there’s a certain distance we should keep. I turn from the door and head across the kitchen to go out the back door.

“Chris,” she calls quietly. I turn around and see her standing in an oversized t-shirt that swallows her tiny frame over grey sweat pants. She has black reading glasses on but she still looks amazing. I shake the thought from my head.

“Hey,” I answer. She looks at me curiously, her eyes scanning me, and I realize that I’m dressed like a cross between a penguin and a valet parker.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” I say, taking the spotlight off me. She takes them off as soon as I say it. She looks embarrassed.

“Just to read,” she replies, closing the door behind her. “A little thirsty,” she says, gesturing towards the refrigerator.

“Oh sure,” I say, as she walks past me towards the refrigerator. I watch her as she opens it and grabs the container of orange juice. I don’t know why my feet feel stuck, why I’m so fascinated with what she’s doing, and why I haven’t left yet. I’m about ten minutes late already. After she pours her drink, she closes the refrigerator and starts to head back to her room.

“Have a nice time, Chris,” she says. That’s it. She doesn’t even glance at me. I don’t know why I care so much, but I do.

“Lauren,” I call out more urgently than I intended to. She turns around, a little surprised. Her eyes glance over me and she smiles.

“I don’t know what Jenna said to you earlier, but I know—on her behalf, I apologize.”

She nods but doesn’t say anything else. We both stand there a little uncomfortably. Not because there’s nothing to be said. I guess there’s too much to be said. I wish she’d say something, anything. I wish we could talk like we did that night. But at least she’s still standing here. She hasn’t gone in her room and shut the door in my face. Our eyes meet and my heartbeat speeds up.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she says after a few minutes, her finger running over the glass in her hand.

“How did you meet her?” she asks, her eyes following her finger. I walk over to the small table and sit down. I’m supposed to be leaving. I’m already late but how can I not answer her question. Maybe it’ll show Jenna in a better light than she put herself in earlier.

“When my mom got sick,” I start and let out a sigh. It’s still hard to talk about. She walks over to me and takes a seat beside me. “It was like life had crapped on me. After everything with me and my condition, the medical bills, the stress of it all. And then my mom got sick.”