Ill Wind and Dead Reckoning: Caribbean Pirate Adventure (Valkyrie) (35 page)

Taking the helm of my ship was exhilarating. All her strength and power was in my hands, and she boasted of it with every thundering wave and every spray of spindrift. Every whistle of wind was a scream of delight, and I felt like screaming with her. I thrust the tiller to leeward, taking her upwind a fraction too far, and watched the mainsail as the leech started to tremble, then flutter until the whole sail collapsed, shaking so forcefully that the vibration was sent down the mast to the planking under my feet. We were past the point of no return now, and I gasped as the mainboom swung across, seemingly an inch from my head, and crashed loudly on to larboard, now to leeward. I brought the tiller back slowly to centre as the sails settled and calmed, their bellies once again filling with wind.

Our speed, which had slowed almost to nothing, picked up until we were skipping through the white horses galloping all around us. A particularly short wave resulted in my bow diving into the next one, then we burst out the other side, spray flying, singing our way forward. I kept my hands on her reins, aware of an excitement and exhilaration that assured me I was home, and that I never wanted to leave. No other place could compare to this one.

To make it even better, I realized
Freedom’s
pinnace was approaching, or trying to. Leo had tacked in my wake, and I took pity on him and shouted for the mainsail to be loosed to give him a chance to catch us. Soaked and smiling after his evening sail he finally climbed on to my decks. I gave the tiller to Greenwoode.

‘
Valkyrie
?’ he asked.

‘Yes,
Valkyrie,
’ I confirmed with a smile. Gaunt had carved the new nameboards on Sankt Jan Island, but I’d kept the new name secret from everyone else until the off. Leo wouldn’t have seen them until we set sail. The name had come from Erik’s books on Norse mythology, and I thought it very appropriate for a ship I wanted to use to finish him. I loved the idea of the valkyries, Odin’s shield maidens, riding into battle astride winged horses to take their pick of warriors back to Valhalla, and I’d always wished for their strength and courage.

‘
Valkyrie
, as in Viking angels?’ Leo asked again.

‘More like Nordic demons,’ Greenwoode put in from the helm. He wasn’t a fan of the name.

‘Warriors. Female warriors who choose their heroes very carefully and well,’ I corrected, smiling.

‘Bad luck to change a name like that,’ Greenwoode moaned. I ignored him and we moved further down
Valkyrie’s
decks.

‘How are you getting on with the new sail plan? It can take a while to get a new boat balanced, especially when you extend her masts the way we have.’

‘The lass is faring well, Cap,’ Gaunt answered for me. ‘There’s no need to fret thysen.’

‘Thank you, Robert, take the decks will you,’ Leo replied. I bit back my objection. It was up to me who took these decks, not him, but I swallowed it, I didn’t want anything to spoil this. I determined to enjoy walking my decks with my man.

Valkyrie
was a lot smaller than
Freedom,
and livelier. She sailed at a more acute angle, which made her decks hard to walk with any confidence and would take some getting used to, but worse was the rope washing over her decks and getting tangled. Before I could call to Davys to sort them out, Leo beat me to it.

‘Stop it. You’re not taking me seriously.’

‘Your lines were heading overboard, querida, someone had to do something about them.’

‘Not someone. Not you. Me. I may not be as quick as you, but I command these decks, it’s for me to tell my crew what to do, not you.’

‘They’re still my crew, you just have command of this vessel on my behalf, but when I’m aboard, they listen to me. I do take you seriously, but you have a lot to learn and I will not stand back and say or do nothing when I see a deadly situation. If anyone caught their leg in one of those lines they’d be overboard and drowned in seconds. If you want to give the orders, spot the problems early and put them right before I do.’

There was nothing I could say to that. I had to prove my worth as captain through deeds not words, so I nodded – my lips tight against my temper.

‘You’re doing well, querida. You looked magnificent at the helm, even if you were sailing away from me. You seemed at home there. I can understand that you wouldn’t be happy for long under my command aboard
Freedom
, and I think this may actually work, but I miss you when you’re not on my decks.’

I smiled and leaned into him. That was better.

‘I miss you too, and I do appreciate your help and advice, I just want to be good at this.’ I sighed. ‘There’s a bottle of brandy in the cabin just begging for a toast, will you join me below?’

He laughed. ‘As if I’d refuse that offer!’

We’d been in the cabin at anchor before, but this was the first time since we’d gone to sea, and it felt different somehow. I leaned my sword against the bulkhead next to the door to warn the crew not to come in, and smiled when Leo followed suit.

‘I do take you seriously as a sailor, and you’ve just proved you’re a captain. Anybody else would have driven the tip of their blade into the wood out there. No true sailor would damage their decks in that way. Come here.’ He pulled me close and kissed me. He was forgiven.

‘I brought you a present. Every pirate captain should have stolen gold in their cabin. Here.’

He gave me a package wrapped in sailcloth. It was the facemask with emerald eyes I’d noticed when I first joined
Freedom
. I smiled. I had my answer from that day. I wasn’t just an interesting ornament after all, and had started my own collection. I put it on the chart table for the moment until I could find somewhere more deserving, and kissed him before handing him a beaker of brandy, then went to sit down on the bed in front of the stern gallery of windows. I looked out to sea to watch
Freedom
following behind, suddenly serious, and considered the gentle unrelenting and never-ending power of that water. It would rear up with no warning in a fierce passion, before calming again:
a reflection and promise of the life I’ve chosen with Leo?
Guilt pierced me again.
How can I be so happy when I left my best friend’s son dead at my husband’s home?

*

I woke the next morning alone, and smiled as I stretched, until I realized Leo was outside, running my decks. Again.

‘Leo! Have you forgotten already? This is
my
ship; I give the orders on these decks!’ Even as I spoke, I was aware that I wouldn’t be on the quarterdeck without Leo. I wouldn’t have authority over this crew without Leo. I still only had a semblance of independence. But I also knew that if I had more, I’d be alone and I didn’t want that either.

‘Well, you’d better get on with it instead of sleeping the watch away and leaving the work to everyone else!’

I glared at him – and everybody else watching and listening.

‘It seems I’ve outstayed my welcome. I’ve neglected my own ship long enough anyway, it’s time to go and make my presence felt aboard
Freedom
. You’re welcome to come and visit when you’re ready, Gabriella. Enjoy your new boat.’

‘Ship!’ I shouted after him, furious.

I watched him spread the pinnace’s sail and reach over to
Freedom
.
What have I done?
Had I got this completely wrong? Had I ruined everything by demanding this ship and leaving his decks? The last few months had been better than I ever could have dreamed, an impossibility based on my life up to a year ago, but there was no denying I’d started to resent the power Leo had over me aboard
Freedom
. If I’d let things stay as they were I’d be unhappy and weak again, and I’d had enough of that. I had to be strong; I had to prove I was strong – to myself as much as anyone else. I had to know I was worthy of this life – of
my
life – that I was worth the air I breathed, and worthy of Leo as well, although I’d never admit that to him. But it worked both ways, I had to know
he
was worthy of
me,
too. I had to know he would let me be me, that he loved me for me and not just an idea of me, or because I happened to be married to the man he regarded an enemy. I also needed him to accept me as an equal. I wanted his respect and even his admiration. I wanted to
share
this life with him, not just keep him company while
he
lived it. I wanted, no needed, to be independent, to know I could rely on myself; but I needed him too. I needed him to accept me for me, but to be honest; I wasn’t completely sure who ‘me’ was. I
was
sure that I needed to find out, and I had to test Leo’s love for me while I did it.
No wonder he’s so confused and frustrated.

I sighed and felt my shoulders relax and droop. Maybe I was being too hard on him. I couldn’t bear it if I found me but lost him in the process.
Then what will I do?

‘Stand by to gybe!’ I called, striding amidships to take the tiller myself. My conversation with Leo was not over. I wasn’t going to let him leave me in anger, not after the way we’d loved last night. Filled with resolve, I pushed the tiller hard over to windward, but immediately realized I’d been too eager. The deck canted viciously and I heard cursing from my crew. We had too much sail flying for such a violent gybe in this wind, and, after a creaking and cracking, I watched in horror as the mainmast slowly fell to the sea in a tangle of sailcloth and rigging.
Valkyrie
hadn’t been at sea a week and I’d broken her.

*

I stared at the mess that, moments before, had been my beautiful ship, my hands over my mouth in shock, and slowly raised my eyes to the men who were shouting and running towards the tangle. I suddenly realized two were missing, and put my shame aside. I ran forward and pulled out my dagger to cut away canvas and cordage.
Please let them be well. Please be well. Please don’t let me have killed anyone. Please. Please. Please.

Was wind thumping that canvas or a fist? I scrambled to the moving sail, screaming to be careful I was going to cut, when a knife blade thrust outward and ripped through the sail. Gaunt and Butler followed.

‘What the hell did thee do that for, lass? This ain’t a pinnace thee knows, thee needs to give us a bit of time afore thee gybes like that! We’re blooming lucky not to be hurt or worse!’

‘Sorry, sorry, I didn’t realize, are you both well? I’m so sorry everyone, I’m really sorry.’ I paused and looked at Gaunt, ready to burst into tears. ‘Now what do we do?’

‘Don’t fret so, lass.’ He relented now that he was free of the shroud of mainsail. ‘There must’ve been a flaw in the mast to go like that, or a frayed stay. We’ll have to cut her free and head back ashore. Just let me catch me breath and I’ll check below, make sure she ain’t sprung no boards an’all.’

‘Stay here, I’ll go below,’ I said, suddenly desperate to get away from the glares of my crew. Bless Gaunt for his generosity, but I couldn’t expect any from the others, nor did I deserve it.

It was bad news below deck, water was streaming in. The mast had pulled at the garboards next to the keel and we were filling up fast.
Am I going to lose her
? I shouted for help and all eight of my crew shot down the hatch.

‘Come on, Captain,’ Davys said. ‘We’ll be needed on the pumps whilst Gaunt and the others try and salve this. Hope you’re feeling strong.’

I nodded dumbly. I felt like I was being punished, and that I deserved it. I was not in command here: Gaunt, Cartwright, Davys, Butler and Greenwoode all knew better than me what to do in this situation. Klara, Obi, Baba and I could only follow their lead.

‘Gabriella! Gabriella! Where are you? Are you hurt? Gabriella!’ Leo had arrived back aboard.
Wonderful
. I took a deep breath and shouted up at him, ‘We’re all well, but we’re making a lot of water. Mr Gaunt and the others are fitting a lead patch.’ I raced up through the hatch after Davys, who had already rigged the pump to the capstan, unable to look at the concern on Leo’s face. I didn’t deserve it.

‘Can you cut away that mast? We’re too unstable and need to get way on as quickly as we can.’ I tried to act like a captain again.

‘Gabriella,’ Leo said, quietly, stepping towards me.

‘Please, Leo. Help me save her. I can’t lose her after everything, she deserves better.’

He nodded and got to work, whatever he wanted to say could wait. We had a ship to save. If we could just get moving, the water would start to flow out rather than in, and
Valkyrie
would have a chance.

I took the approach to Sankt Jan Island carefully with fore- and a jury mainmast made from one of
Freedom’s
spare main yards, and sounded every few feet. I wasn’t taking any chances. I felt so sad running
Valkyrie
on to the beach only five days after we’d left. I’d failed her. All my posturing and my insistence that she was mine alone had nearly sunk her.
Freedom
had sailed in close company and was already at anchor. Her laden pinnace and longboats pulled towards the shore. It was time to face the rest of the men – a moment I’d dreaded all the way back.

‘See, I told you, a fair weather sailor. A woman has no business being on the quarterdeck of any vessel!’

‘Don’t talk to her like that, Newton, whatever your thoughts on the subject, Gabriella is
Valkyrie’s
captain and your talk is damn near a threat of mutiny,’ Leo defended me.

‘I’m not on her crew. I am not mutinous.’

‘You are on
my
crew, and any threat to Gabriella is a threat to me. Now shut up and get to work, I’m sick of the sound of your voice.’

Maybe having Leo close by on occasion wasn’t such a bad thing, after all.

‘Gabriella, we need to select a new mainmast for you. Gaunt will stay here to replace and seal the garboards to make the hull sound again. It won’t take long, he only needs a couple of planks and we have some spare aboard
Freedom
.’

I nodded and followed him inland.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘What?’

‘I’m sorry. I thought I knew it all and wanted so badly to do well and I nearly sank her.’

‘Oh, come here, querida, every captain is a little insufferable at first! But don’t worry too much about it, your gybe was ill advised but it would not have been enough on its own to spring the mast. You saw the hull – how it hadn’t been tarred properly and had rotted through at the chains. It should have been spotted before you set sail, but you won’t make that mistake again.’

‘It’s not that easy is it, commanding a vessel? Someone could have been hurt or even killed in that gybe, and it would have been my fault.’

‘But everyone is well. Life as a ship’s master isn’t an easy vocation, you can’t expect to know it all straight away. He, or she, has to be master of all trades: shiphandling, war, navigation, weather, sailmaking, carpentry, gunnery, plus a competent topman, fore-the-mast hand, rigger, shipwright and expert at general maintenance. A captain does not have to be a good sailor – Henry Morgan of all people has proved that. But a captain who is not a good sailor needs a good ship’s master – and to heed his advice.

‘Gaunt has been at sea most of his life – and he’s had a long life. He knows everything there is to know about ships and the sea – and he’s a damn good carpenter too. You won’t go wrong following his advice. You’ve only just started learning, but you have a good crew, one that encompasses all of it, and me. You’ll get there, you just have to take the time to listen and learn.’

He paused, his attention out to sea. ‘I don’t like the look of that sloop. She was on the horizon last time we were here, but seems to be coming in a lot closer now. What do you think, querida, are they threatening or just watching?’

I didn’t want to admit that I hadn’t noticed her – today or on our last visit. ‘Maybe we should get
Valkyrie
off the beach quickly, just in case.’

‘Mmm. By the look of the rake on that mast they’re pirates. There are a couple of successful crews operating out of Sankt Tomas Island, we’re probably invading their territory – hopefully they’re just making sure we aren’t a threat to them. Anyway, it’s only a small sloop and they look to be on their own, they’re not likely to take on two vessels, both of them bigger than themselves.’

‘Even with one dismasted and high and dry?’ I asked.

‘We’ve probably taken their careenage and they’re waiting for us to move on,’ he tried to reassure me, although I knew as well as he did there was nothing we could do at the moment, whatever their intent.

‘So why haven’t they hailed us?’ I wondered.

‘Would you approach ships this size surrounded by cannon from a boat that size? No, don’t answer that, you probably would, but it’s not an advisable course of action.’

‘No offence taken.’ I was just starting to realize how much I didn’t know, and how much there was to think about all the time. On land as well as afloat.
Am I ready for the enormous challenge and responsibility I’ve set myself by insisting on captaining a pirate ship? Have I made a big mistake?

‘No you haven’t.’

‘What?’

‘Made a mistake.’

‘How did you know what I was thinking?’

‘It’s written all over your face. You’d better smile before we get back to
Valkyrie
and your crew realize their captain is doubting herself – that’s always something to keep hidden and closely guarded.’

‘What do you really think? Have I taken on too much?’

‘No, I don’t think you have. I was hesitant at first, but I’m coming round to the idea. Just remember to be fair, confident and honest with your crew. Their safety is your responsibility so respect that, and don’t be afraid to ask for advice. You have a lot of experience and seasense on your deck – use it and learn as much as you can. You benefit and you’re honouring your crew at the same time. Remember, the men who agreed to sail with you have faith in you. If you keep faith in them too, you won’t go far wrong.’

I nodded and sighed. ‘You make it sound so easy.’

Leo laughed. ‘I assure you it isn’t, especially in a heavy sea with an inconvenient island or reef to leeward. Or in the flat calms come to think of it – in a way they’re worse. A bored crew can easily become a malicious one, especially if the rum’s running low. But you shouldn’t have too much trouble with those old salts. They’ve seen it all and done it all, countless times, and they chose to sail with you. Anyway, they know they’d have to answer to me if they made trouble for you. You’re lucky, not many captains get such an easy passage into command. But I can assure you that despite my best efforts, it won’t stay easy – as you’ve already discovered. Admit your mistakes, make good the damage you’ve done, and set your sights on your next prize.’

‘That’s a lot to remember!’

‘Not really, a bit of common sense to go with the seasense, basic human courtesy and a firm manner is all a good captain needs. Oh, and to trust his or her crew – assuming they’re trustworthy – if they aren’t, you’ve no business having them on your decks in the first place. An untrustworthy crew has been the death of many a good captain.’

‘There, that will serve.’ He leaned against the tree he had selected and ran his eye up its trunk. ‘It’s straight and tall enough. Right, Capitana, mark it and we’ll get some of the men out here, I want your new mainmast felled and hauled back to the beach before it gets dark and we don’t have much time.’

*

Night fell quickly as it always did, the sun set as if it couldn’t wait to get to bed, and, instead of the brilliant golds and reds and orange and pink, we were left in near darkness. A sliver of moon and a thousand, thousand stars shone down – just as beautiful, but a poor substitute for the tropical sun, as was the fire that blazed on the beach, although at least that had some colour to it: orange, yellow, green and blue flared in its depths. I sipped my rum punch, content at last.
Valkyrie
was afloat again – as she should be. Her new mast was stepped slightly further aft than the old one had been, and was raked back sharply. There was no mistaking now that she was rigged for speed. A pirate ship.

We’d spent a week stepping the new mast and everyone realized the accident hadn’t been my fault. Even so, it could well have been and I’d learnt a lot – and had a much better idea of the captain I wanted to be. But for now, I had the confidence of my crew back, of my man, and even of myself. I felt content and ready to take on the world, closer to confronting and divorcing Erik – although I knew a divorcement would be difficult to take from him. I’d have to force him, or trick him somehow to be free of him. Or kill him.

I shook these thoughts off, I’d deal with them another time when I was alone. For now I leaned into Leo, enjoying the weight of his arm slung around my shoulders, and laughed at the antics of our crews. After a week of hard work, we had a night of relaxation around the fire ahead of us. We’d rig the recut sails and put off again tomorrow. I looked seaward again, at my beautiful ship, and raised my rumpot in a toast to her, then squinted.
Is that vessel out there again?
I turned to Leo to point it out but he’d already seen. We had trouble.