Authors: Jennifer Loiske
They were used to running freely around the forests and would not understand why the wolves were a threat to them. Last night I’d had to mentally shout at them to not howl, for even though they were members of our family, they were by no means entirely tame pets, but unpredictable wolf-like animals with a need to belong in a pack whether the pack wanted them or not. They felt the need to join in the howling and hunt with others. Only my position as the pack leader had prevented them from running away, and if Gunward had called them, they would have obeyed instantly. Although my position as the alpha female was equal to that of the alpha male, they instinctively respected the stronger of us. That was Gunward, and my standing as the alpha female was currently dubious to say the least. I had, after all, abandoned the pack and joined that of another male, who, to top it off, was not even a wolf. I couldn’t blame them for being completely confused. Instead, I decided to take them as far from the wolves as possible until the situation had calmed down.
Flow paced at the back of the car, restless, full of enthusiasm. She knew where we were going and anticipated playing with me. Bruun lay quite still, legs shaking slightly, ears pulled back against his head. He hated traveling by car but tolerated it because he wanted to come training. Luckily the drive was not long and there was such fun to look forward to that both Bruun and I began to catch on to Flow's enthusiasm. Glancing at the rearview mirror, I noticed Bruun had sat up and I heard his tail whipping excitedly.
There were already others on the training course and when I let the dogs out of the car, they ran to greet their friends. The course had been built in a small forest near some sizeable gravel extraction pits. There were manholes, long tunnels and crumbled ruins made of concrete. Here and there the forest was dotted with small, demolished wooden huts where people could hide. The course had been constructed to resemble a site of disaster as closely as possible. During the exercises, a few people hid in the ruins and the dogs took turns trying to find them. It was actually very like a children’s hide-and-seek game, except that the hiding-holes were much more challenging to find and there were many more of them. My dogs found the exercises very easy, as their sense of smell was much keener than those of ordinary dogs. However, the exercises brought some appreciated variation into their lives, and therefore they were always enthusiastic about training. They could also sense my emotions and I tried to make the search more difficult by shutting them outside my mind altogether. Being happy to get away from home for a while, however, I unwittingly helped them with my gestures and expressions. Still, they found the game such fun that they eagerly searched for missing people until we got fed up and we let all the dogs loose to frolic in the muddy ponds in the gravel pits.
As I drove back home, I felt very good. The two muddy, tired dogs slept at the back of the car and upon reaching our driveway I saw David’s car parked in the yard. All seemed to be well and I found myself smiling, happier than I had been for days.
I awoke from a strange dream. I checked the watch on my nightstand and sighed. It was only two o’clock. David was sleeping peacefully beside me and I felt no danger anywhere. I felt for the minds of Flow and Bruun, but every time I touched them, they eluded me. That felt very strange, but as they did sometimes shut me out when they wanted to be entirely alone, I thought no more of it. I lay in bed and tried to get back to sleep. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the dream where Clarissa lay in her bed and eight young shape shifter wolves surrounded her. A black-haired, somewhat impudent male was clearly acting as pack leader. He reminded me of the man who had accosted me at the mall and when I focused my thoughts on him, I realized he was indeed the same impudent, defiant man. That truly scared me. How could he be a part of my dream? Strange, I thought, but concentrated my mind on that weird dream.
Clarissa lay absolutely still. Her long, honey-blond hair was spread out in a cloud on her pillow and her bright green eyes were firmly fixed on the black-haired young man. I felt her terror. Felt how she forced herself to stay calm, though she would have liked to scream in fright. Imprecise images of what she thought the males wanted of her flitted through her mind, but she forced her fear aside. I sensed the male’s admiration of Clarissa and was surprised to notice some child-like infatuation, perhaps even respect. The black-haired male was very handsome. Tight leather trousers accentuated long, muscular legs. Narrow hips and a trim waist broadened out to a wiry, muscular back. Sexy, black hair reached his shoulders and a lopsided fringe partly shadowed one of his dark, nearly black eyes. His face was rather angular, which emphasized his good looks. He was almost two meters of height, sinewy and dangerous. I knew how easily it might rip my child’s throat open. A low, quiet growl emanated from his throat as he stroked Clarissa’s lips and neck. The other males would have wanted their share of the prey, but the black-haired one communicated to all that this was his catch. The others backed off, offering no resistance.
The male stroked Clarissa’s hair, alternating between gentle touches and almost violent clutching. Not for a moment did his gaze leave her eyes. I felt his impudence. His excitement and his desire towards Clarissa. He stared at her covetously, as if Clarissa were something incredibly tempting and forbidden, something he simply had to possess. The other males gave low growls and their white fangs gleamed in the dim light. Everything about them emanated threat and danger. Not even quite realizing it, I saw not a group of young men but a pack of wolves with their prey. These men were clearly more animal than human and this was my only comfort, for I knew they would never flout their leader’s absolute command, and this female was marked. Chosen by the black-haired leader, whether she wanted it or not. I sensed Clarissa calling to me for help. She prayed I would wake up and come to rescue her. Even though I was fully awake by now, I couldn’t shake the dream off my mind and I decided to check if Clarissa was all right.
The instant I opened the door to her room, all hell broke loose. Gunward leapt in through the window, straight between Clarissa and the young male. The big dark brown wolf transformed into a man even before its front paws touched the ground. Clarissa stared at Gunward in sheer terror. Her eyes darted wildly between me and the men and only her fear of the young man prevented her from rushing to me. The other males gave way to Gunward and bowed their heads to indicate their submission. Gunward threw them an enraged glare and they quickly retreated even further from him. I, too, stared at Gunward, enchanted rather than frightened. When had I last seen a full transformation? It felt like forever ago. It also felt unbelievable that Gunward had gathered so many shape shifters into his pack. I had not understood how many there truly were. A few were clearly very young still- only a few decades of age and obviously out of their experience in human bodies. I knew there were very few shape shifter females and of those few, I knew no other female, besides myself, who would have been willing or able to procreate, let alone birth new shape shifters.
Thousands of questions flitted through my mind, but an angry sound from Gunward recalled me to the present and forced me to confront the chaotic situation in my daughter’s room.
“Adam,” Gunward grunted sternly.
For a moment the big males merely stared at each other, until the black-haired male referred to as Adam gave a frustrated grunt and took a step backwards with exaggerated courtesy. I dashed to Clarissa and enfolded her in a tight hug. She trembled in my arms, but didn’t take her eyes off the male called Adam. I felt how tense and strained all her muscles were. She was evidently very frightened, but held her back ramrod straight and her head up. Clenching her teeth, she summoned all her courage and gently broke free of my embrace, eyeing Adam and Gunward with suspicion. She let out a deep sigh and briefly squeezed my hand so hard that I thought my bones would break. Then, trembling and obviously frightened, she stepped in front of Adam. Gunward stepped out of her way and his eyes met mine.
Staring at Adam in anger and affront, Clarissa smacked her fist at his chest and stood there. I was horrified. Didn’t she realize how dangerous he was? And why was Gunward doing nothing? I was about to draw Clarissa out of Adam’s reach when Gunward took my arm and quietly shook his head. I stared at my child and this unknown man and, to my horror, found myself thinking what a gorgeous couple they would make. Clarissa was on the threshold of womanhood. Just turned sixteen. Beside the tall Adam, my daughter, herself tall and slender, seemed to be right where she belonged. Her fair coloring emphasized his dark looks. Day and night; opposites, I thought. For what felt like an eternity, they stood almost touching. Then Adam’s hands moved to caress Clarissa’s sides. Her fingers explored his face with wonder. No one dared so much as breathe. Gunward had drawn me close and held me in an iron grip. I couldn’t move. Clarissa and Adam had shut themselves into a space of their own, where no one else was able to enter. Clarissa no longer trembled of fear; she now trembled of desire. Black eyes were fixed on green ones. Two bodies were entwined like lovers in an embrace. Fingers explored, caressed, searched. A small sigh escaped through Adam’s lips. Abruptly Clarissa, frustrated, pushed Adam off and marched out of the room. Only then did I notice I’d held my breath the whole time. Gunward barked an order to the other shape shifters and they disappeared into the night, led by Adam. Exhausted, I sat down on Clarissa’s bed. Gunward sat silently down beside me. After what felt like an eternity of silence, I finally asked:
“Why, Gunward? You promised no one would hurt my children.”
“I don’t know, love, but I promise I’ll find out,” Gunward rumbled tenderly.
Anger flashed in his eyes and I knew he would go very hard on the young males. No one could evade punishment for defying an alpha.
“Your children are unlikely to be shape shifters, if they haven’t shown any signs of it by this age. I am sorry. I’ll discipline the pack, but remember what I told you before. It’s you they want,” he continued pensively.
“You can’t be serious!” I cried. “They are still children. Besides, it seemed quite clear to me that the black-haired male at least wants Clarissa, not me.”
“They may look like children, but they aren’t. Remember that.” Gunward gave me a stern look and shook his head.
“They are all more than thirty years old and have been looking for mates for a long time. That they look young is their own choice. They are all very dangerous and Adam more so than the rest. I will do all I can to make him leave Clarissa be, but you saw the sparks between them. If Adam has chosen your daughter, I may have to fight him to make him give up.”
“Then you will fight,” I told him sternly.
“I’ll talk to Clarissa. I don’t want her to have anything to do with Adam. She must understand their union couldn’t possibly work out. She’s only a young girl and I don’t think she really wants to get involved with shape shifters.” I allowed myself to sink into Gunward´s gaze for a moment and I knew he was thinking what I was thinking. There was a time when nothing could have come between us. After we had joined and promised ourselves to each other, we would have fought to the point of madness had anyone even tried to keep us apart from one another. I couldn't let that happen to Clarissa. Not like this.
“Sofia, you forget there have been unions between shape shifters and ordinary wolves for centuries. When the choice has been made, it’s very difficult to back off,” Gunward pointed out quietly.
I knew he was right. Such unions had indeed been happening for a long time and this was one of the reasons why there were so few shape shifters. A shape shifter couple could usually have several litters, but shape shifter cubs would be born to only one litter. If one of the mates was incapable of shape shifting, it was very rare for them to beget shape shifters. In fact, it had never happened as far as I knew. Regardless, I could not blithely hand Clarissa over to Adam. Clarissa was not a wolf and she made her own decisions. In this case, however, she had no idea what the consequences would be for herself or for Adam if she made the wrong decision.
Silence returned between us. I didn’t know what to say. I knew what I ought to have asked, but I was afraid to. Gunward had returned to my life too soon. I had not readied myself for this. I was stuck between two worlds and I didn’t know which one I belonged to, or wanted to belong in. At this moment my main concern was the safety of my family and my fear of how Clarissa would handle the truth. I also feared Clarissa was already unwittingly so entangled with Adam that there would be no way to separate them. The look Adam had given Clarissa before going off into the darkness had been brimming with lust and predatory eagerness and I would have to tell Clarissa the truth. I could only hope she would view it with an open mind and that her feelings towards me would remain unchanged.
Gunward was the first to get up. He, too, knew he would eventually have to tell me everything, but now was not the right time. Gunward bent to kiss my forehead and pressed his hand onto my cheek. I permitted myself to feel his love for a moment and then he withdrew.
“Fia, I have to go.” And he, too, vanished into the night.
Clarissa sat on the couch, buried in a nest of big, fluffy cushions. The room was lit by only a few candles on the table, reminders of the cozy and peaceful evening our family had enjoyed earlier. David had lit the candles on the tables in the living room, and we had cooked together. Marie had set the table as if we’d been expecting guests, and Clarissa had concocted a lovely salad. Now, both David and Marie were sleeping in their rooms, blissfully unaware of the uninvited guests who had forced their way into Clarissa’s bedroom. Clarissa stared accusingly at me, her eyes demanding an explanation. I seated myself in an armchair opposite the couch and sighed.