Immortal Craving (Dark Dynasties) (26 page)

“I accept the apology,” Tasmin replied, bemused—and pleased—that she would even think to offer one. If her dynasty survived, he had a feeling that in time, her kind would wreak all sorts of havoc on the old ways of doing things. They looked at one another, and Lily’s mouth curved up into a soft, but genuine, smile.

“Good.” Her smile faltered, just a bit, and he could see the love she had for Bailey behind it. “I just… worry about her. This is a lot. It was always going to be a lot, whatever she decided, but… now she has no choice. If she had become Lilim I would be able to help her along a little more, but she’s—”

“She’s Rakshasa,” Tasmin finished for her. “A thing you don’t understand.”

“I’d say you’re the only one left who does.” Lily tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and then folded her arms across her chest, looking up at him with eyes the deep and fathomless blue of the ocean.

“So I’m going to ask you to do something for me,” she said. “I know you haven’t bonded with her. I have no idea what your intentions are where she’s concerned, and I’m going to butt right out of that. But for as long as you’re with us, and as long as you can, please help her.”

Tasmin hesitated. “You know I may not be able to for long,” he said. “When Anura is ready…”

When Anura was ready, he would have to run. It was a secret he would have to keep, though it would be a constant knife in his gut. The demon had been clear. His fate was now sealed.

Lily nodded, no doubt believing he would go through with whatever ritual Anura and her blood sisters devised to try and cast the demon out.

“I understand. And I hope she succeeds. No one deserves what was done to you, except maybe Arsinöe herself.” Her expression darkened. “But no matter what, even if it’s just for a couple of days, give Bay what you can. You were the last Rakshasa. If you… don’t make it, she will be. She deserves to understand what she is. All I’d be able to give her are pieced together old stories from Vlad’s library. I don’t think that bloodlines should determine a person’s standing, but I do think it’s important to understand what you come from.” She looked up at him, her gaze penetrating. “Will you do that for me? And for her?”

He felt himself nodding, unable to deny Lily such an earnest request—and unable to deny himself more time
with Bailey. All of it was borrowed now, prolonging the inevitable. But the thought of even one more day with her was too tantalizing to resist. And though his time would be short, he could at least try to enjoy the fact that the demon would now let her be.

As long as it got what it wanted.

“I can do that,” he said.

Lily’s relief was palpable. “Thank you,” she said. “This place will be a madhouse over the next few days. I have preparations to make, and so do our allies. What Empusae are standing with the Ptolemy have left the city, and the ones still here are waiting for a plan. We’re going to have to destroy her,” Lily said, suddenly looking like a vampire who had lived a great many more years than she actually had. “We just have to figure out how. I’ll feel better knowing that Bay is with you.”

He was touched by the sentiment, and inclined his head.

“I’ll do what I can.” Then he smiled, unable to resist adding, “At least up until she decides to use her lion form to start liberating zoo animals. I’m not sure what I can do about that.”

Lily grinned, her world-weariness vanishing in the brightness of her smile. “You’ve got her pegged. If we all survive this,” she said, “I think I’m going to decide to like you.” She tipped her head toward the stairs. “Go ahead. She’d had a drink and a cry. Now she just wants you. You know where she is.”

He did. He’d only lurked near the door for most of every day while the others slept.

“I wish you luck, Queen Lily,” he said as he began to ascend the stairs.

“You too,” she said. “And… thanks. For saving her.”

“It was an honor,” Tasmin said. But as he headed up, he wondered whether, when all was said and done, Bailey herself would look back and see the mark he’d left her with as anything but a reminder of things she would rather forget.

T
ASMIN WALKED
into the small sitting room that opened onto the bedroom of the suite to find Bailey waiting for him. She sat in a chair, hands folded neatly in her lap, wearing a white silk dressing gown that managed to cover a great deal of skin and still accentuate every curve of her body. Her bare feet were tucked primly up against the base of the elegant little love seat in which she sat.

And she was the most beautiful vampire he’d ever seen.

He stopped short just inside the door, staring. He couldn’t help it. What was already lovely had been accentuated, enhanced into the breathtaking. Her skin shimmered faintly when she shifted, the candlelight catching the many hues of gold in her long, wavy hair. The biggest shock, however, was her eyes. They watched him steadily from beneath long, dark blond lashes, burning a hot shade of gold.

In the change, Bailey had gained the eyes of a lioness.
The expression in them was just as fierce. He didn’t know what to make of that, or of her.

Tasmin suddenly felt as out of place as he had at the Lilim’s mansion. He had never sired another vampire. He had no idea what to do, what to say in order to reassure her. To praise her looks would fall flat—that he was sure of. It had to be the last thing on her mind right now. And he couldn’t promise to stay by her side, because she’d been through enough without piling pretty lies on top of it.

He had nothing to give her. The realization left him with a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

The quirk of her smile was a welcome sign that whatever she’d been through, the Bailey he knew was still there.

“Lily made me drink blood out of a glass. I think it was microwaved. I liked it. I don’t actually know how I feel about that.”

Tasmin laughed softly. “You’ll get used to that part.”

Her smile deepened, then faded as they looked at one another. The few feet between them could have been miles. All he wanted was to walk over, pick her up, and hold her until he’d satisfied himself she was really all right. Instead, he hung back.

Nothing should have changed in the space of two nights. Instead, everything had.

Finally, Bailey spoke into the tension.

“I want to know what happened.”

Tasmin arched a brow. “That’s a strange question. You can see what happened.”

Her eyes narrowed, and for the first time he caught a glimpse of the pain Lily had hinted at.

“I mean I want to know what you saw. I can’t remember…” She trailed off, shook her head. “I remember being dragged out of the car. I remember
him
, the way he looked, sounded, smelled… He got off on my fear, Tasmin. He loved that I was terrified. I was ready to beg for my life. I’d already started.” She cringed. “It was humiliating, and that was exactly what he wanted.”

The rage he’d felt when he’d seen her lying helplessly on the ground flickered back to life, heating his veins with a slow burn. That anyone would dare lay hands on her, when she was
his
… That thought had filled him with such violence that the Ptolemy’s fate was sealed before he’d even seen his face. Tasmin shuddered at the memory.

“Why do you need to know this?” he asked. “The Ptolemy who had you was scum. I killed him, Bailey. I tore him to pieces.” He winced. “Is this what you want to hear? That I spilled his blood? I did. He’ll never hurt anyone again.” Something ugly shifted deep inside, curling around itself in pleasure, and it made him ill to realize he and the demon were of the same mind on this. But he couldn’t change the way he felt.

“When I found you, he had drained you nearly dry. He had opened his wrist to feed you, to put his mark on you. So I made him pay.”

Bailey inhaled deeply and then nodded. “I’m glad you did. Maybe that makes me as bad as him.”

“No.” Tasmin stepped closer to her, despite his efforts not to. The need to be near her was so strong it was almost painful. Every time he saw her, it only intensified his craving for her presence, her touch. And every time, the strength of it took him by surprise.

“He stole your mortal life from you, a thing he had no right to take. You have every right to feel as you do. The kind of man who can do such a thing and enjoy it is exactly the kind of monster so many humans have envisioned us to be. I doubt anyone will mourn his passing, even his own kind.”

Bailey blew out a breath and nodded again. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I’m just… I keep turning it over in my head. Like if I’d tried to fight harder, or if I’d said the right thing that maybe I could have stopped it.” She pushed an agitated hand through her hair. “And then I remember that I was supposed to be a message to Lily. He said that nothing she wanted to protect would ever be safe no matter how hard she tried. You included. He seemed really furious about you.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Tasmin said. “Unless Arsinöe herself wants to dirty her hands by coming to fight me into submission, they won’t have me.”

The demon will have me first
, he thought, but didn’t say it aloud. He didn’t think Bailey would find that bit of truth very reassuring.

Her voice turned bitter. “I wish I could say that. But when he had me out there in the woods, Tasmin, I knew how weak I was, what a liability I was. If Lily and Ty hadn’t had to drag me out of Tipton in a car, they never would have had to have that fight. One of the wolves was killed, did you know that?”

Tasmin nodded silently. He’d hoped she didn’t know, but he expected she had asked Lily… and there seemed to be no lies between the two women.

“My fault,” she said. “If I’d just backed off a year ago, realized that I was in over my head and stuck to normal
human things, he’d be alive. I’d just be one more random person, not a weapon to use against people I care about.”

He listened to her words and heard echoes of his own. The words he heard himself saying were strangely soothing to the part of him that had been filled with self-loathing since he’d discovered what had happened to his kind. If only he had been wise enough to have evaded capture, if only he had been strong enough to fight off his captors, the demon they’d infected him with… if only he had been formidable enough to have never been a target at all. Maybe then he could have made a difference.

Except he could no more have changed the course of events than Bailey could. Arsinöe was always going to destroy the Rakshasa. She was always going to try to grind the Lilim into dust. Remove one weapon and another would have appeared.

“It isn’t your fault,” Tasmin said softly, and a burden he’d carried deep in his chest for months now fell away.

“Those Ptolemy were waiting for Lily and Ty, Bailey. There would have been a fight no matter what. And if there were no you, she would have found another to try and use to hurt Lily. But that person, whoever he or she might have been, wouldn’t have had me to come and fight for them. I heard you calling for me,” he said.

“I wondered,” Bailey replied softly. “I didn’t really think it would work.”

“It did,” Tasmin said.
Because I think of you all the time. Because I had you in my arms.
“If it hadn’t, though, things might have turned out very differently.”

“Or that other person might have already been a vampire and just kicked serious ass.”

Tasmin breathed out a soft, sympathetic laugh. “The
Ptolemy only pick battles they think they can win, Bailey. Don’t count on it.”

“But—”

“This isn’t your fault. None of this. You’re caught up in something you didn’t start, just like the rest of us.” He closed the distance between them and sank to the cushion beside her. She sighed, a desolate sound, slumping forward.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“Survive,” he said simply. “Sometimes, that’s really all there is to be done. I was young when I was put in that cave, but most of my pride brothers were ancient. They’d seen plenty of things they never wanted to see. And not all of them had been sired with their consent. But they lived, often well.” He paused, remembering, and for the first time in a long time the memories of their faces caused no pain. “It was not always an easy life, but it had its pleasures. My existence wasn’t without joy. If the pride had lived, I imagine it would have stayed that way.”

He had caught her interest, he saw. She tilted her head at him, a faint frown creasing her brow.

“I didn’t know you felt that way about it.”

“About what? My pride?”

“That. And just your life. I knew you were okay with it, but until right now I hadn’t realized you actually
enjoyed
being what you are. What you were.”

He lifted his eyebrows, surprised. “Why wouldn’t I enjoy being what I am? What was ever better than being Rakshasa?”

That made her laugh, a welcome sound even if he hadn’t intended to be funny.

He smirked. “You think I sound arrogant. Watch.
Soon, you’ll feel the same. You really didn’t think I was glad to be what I am?”

She shook her head. “I thought all you did was fight as mercenaries. And live outdoors. And… fight. You hadn’t talked about anything more than that, so I figured that was all there was to it. It sounds like it was a pretty stark existence.”

“Not at all,” Tasmin replied, amazed he’d portrayed such a one-dimensional image. But then, since he’d awakened, he’d been so preoccupied with the darker aspects of his predicament, he’d given little thought to how things had been in better times.

He liked remembering the good things.

She made him remember that there
were
good things. Many of them.

“It’s going to be all right,” he said, finding himself in the unfamiliar position of comfort giver. But he meant the words, and perhaps because of it, Bailey seemed to respond to the sentiment behind them.

“I hope so,” she said. “I have so much to figure out now. How to break this to my parents. What to do about my life back in Tipton. Where I belong.” She paused, her eyes searching his face for something only she knew.