She straightened her wig and then glanced over her shoulder at Harris. “Coming? We could use one more judge.”
He got to his feet in one movement. “Go ahead. I’ll clean this up and join you.”
She nodded and left Harris in her office. Whenever she tried to include him he always backed away. That’s okay, she thought. She would make him part of her community. She’d just keep trying.
Harris drove Sarah’s car through the deserted streets of Orlando. Burt and Isabella had taken the limo to a party at Universal Studios so he and Sarah were alone. He’d managed to avoid the costume contest by making some business calls from Sarah’s office. He didn’t think she’d noticed his absence.
But he’d felt it in his soul. There was a part of him—the lonely child who’d watched other kids in normal households go trick-or-treating—that had wanted to join in Sarah’s party. But joining in, putting down roots wasn’t for him.
Sarah fiddled with the radio station. Her car stereo was standard issue and the speakers weren’t very good. He made a mental note to have a new stereo system installed in her car before he left.
She settled on a jazz station playing Miles Davis. Harris let the trumpet riffs settle over him and tried to pretend this was like any other night. But it wasn’t. No night with Sarah was like any other and no one knew that better than he did.
He pulled into her driveway and shut off the car. But made no move to get out. He wanted to go inside her house and make love to her. He wanted to hold her in his arms all night and wake them both up in the morning by sliding into her body. He wanted…more than just sex for the first time and that made him hesitate.
Sarah opened her door but didn’t get out when he made no move to join her. “What’s the matter?”
“I don’t want to give you the wrong impression,” he said. He’d made a decision tonight watching Sarah in her element. A decision to ensure that she didn’t change because of him. He didn’t want to leave her with his cynicism.
Because there was something pure about her and her outlook on life. Something he’d never really had when he looked at life. And he wanted to preserve that. His world needed more people like Sarah.
“About what?” she asked, she’d removed the Elvira wig. Her normal bouncy hair was a little flatter than usual, still curling around her face.
“Us,” he said.
She closed the door, leaning back in her seat. Crossing her arms under her breasts, she shifted slightly in the seat to face him. He knew she was trying to look serious. But she didn’t come close.
“I’ve already been warned. You’re leaving in a few more weeks.”
Why had he started this conversation? He slid his arm along the back of her seat and rested his hand on her shoulder. He rubbed his forefinger on the edge of the material at her neck, making teasing forays toward the flesh that beckoned him.
“I thought you wanted to talk,” she said, shivering under his touch.
No woman had ever reacted as quickly to his caresses the way Sarah did. Physically she was made to be his match. They were so attuned sexually it was eerie, but he didn’t dwell on that.
“You distracted me.”
“Please. I’m not a sex pot,” she said.
How could she affect him so deeply and not be aware of it?
“Woman, you are a living, breathing temptation. I can’t be near you and not want you.”
She quirked her head to the side. “Is that true?”
“I don’t lie,” he said, slipping his finger a bit farther down her chest. She trembled and shifted on the seat. Her arms falling to her sides.
“I’m coming to believe that,” she said. One of her hands falling to his thigh and kneading it. “What are we doing in the car?”
“I was trying to make sure you understood something,” Harris said.
“What?” she asked. Her voice was husky. Her skin flushed and her pupils dilated. She was aroused and watching the change come over her body tightened him painfully. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against the globes of her breasts. Hmm, she smelled so sweet. He ached to possess her again.
Why had he hesitated? Then he remembered. Hurting Sarah wasn’t something he could live with. Lifting his head, he stared into her dark eyes.
“You make me want to be better than I am, yet I don’t think I can be.”
“Stop worrying about me. If my parents’ death taught me one thing it was not to look ahead. That the only time we have is now.”
“All you want is now?” he asked.
She took his face in both of her hands and kissed him thoroughly. Everything he’d come to expect from Sarah was in that kiss. Her sweet caring, her spicy personality and a deep need that he couldn’t explain. “I’m hoping I can convince you that we deserve more than that.”
“How are you going to do that?” he asked.
“By showing you what you’re missing,” she said with a sweet smile that cut him to the bone.
“Don’t let me hurt you, Sarah. I don’t think I could live with myself if I knew I took the smile from your eyes.”
“I control my happiness, not you,” she said.
“Hold that thought, honey.”
“I will.”
Harris pocketed her keys and exited the car. Sarah had already climbed out by the time he got there. He took her elbow and led her to the house. “Tonight I’m going to make you think that happiness is a place that belongs to only the two of us.”
One week later, Sarah was alone in her office. The crowd tonight was slow and steady, leaving her too much time to think. Sade sang softly in the background. Her haunting voice singing of
cherishing the day
and Sarah wished that she could do that. But instead she looked to the future and worried. Paul had been easy to love and easy to break her heart over because she’d been young and unaware of the nuances of love.
Harris was different. There was something about him that made her weary and afraid for the first time that she might fall in love with him. It didn’t help that Thanksgiving was right around the corner. The family holiday always made her heart feel heavier with the loss of her parents and the loneliness of her life.
Harris was everything she ever wanted in a man. He was a skilled lover who could bring her to the heights of passion again and again each night. She hardly recognized the woman she’d become in bed with him. But she knew that it was a part of herself she’d always hidden because she’d been afraid to risk too much of herself. But with Harris knowing him as she did, she realized it was going to take everything she had to give to keep him in her life. And she realized she wanted—no needed to keep him in her life.
He was also intelligent in ways she hadn’t expected him to be. He knew everything. Literally there wasn’t a subject that she brought up that he couldn’t discuss or argue. She loved listening to him talk about his travels and his studies. Harris was an observer she realized and she wanted to change that.
She could pretend all she wanted that he might stay with her in her little house in Orlando but she knew he’d be leaving two days after Thanksgiving. Not to return to his home in California but to Tokyo. And a small-time restaurateur was no match for the global mover and shaker that Harris was.
She reached for the Magic 8 ball on her desk and flipped it over in her hands. She wasn’t going to ask it anything. It wasn’t as if the stupid child’s toy had any real fortune-telling powers. Yet she asked the one question that had made it difficult for her to sleep in Harris’s arms at night.
Will he break my heart?
She couldn’t even ask it aloud. She had to whisper it in her mind.
Concentrate and ask again.
She threw the ball toward the back of her desk. It rolled off and wedged between the wall and the corner of the desk. Not quite to the floor. Oh, no. This couldn’t be a good sign.
She hitched her skirt up around her hips and leaned forward to try to reach the ball and couldn’t. Desperation raced through her leaving a lingering unease in the pit of her stomach. She had to ask again.
Or did she? When had she become so hopeless? She knew better than to wait on magic to make things happen in her life. She stood up and marched out of the restaurant. Roger Hammond her night manager was on duty.
She climbed in her car and called Harris’s cell phone. She didn’t put the car in gear. She couldn’t talk and drive without hurting herself or someone else. He answered on the first ring.
“Davidson.”
A small tingle went through her when she heard his voice. Though he was shy about relationships and emotion, Harris held nothing back when it came to lovemaking. She’d grown in sensual experience so much in the last two weeks. But she thought now it was time for her to teach him a thing or two. “It’s me.”
“Hey, you. What’s up?” he asked.
“I need to see you.”
She heard papers rustle and the squeak of his office chair. She imagined him disheveled, tie loosened, hair rumpled from running his fingers through it. She wished she was in his office with him. She’d rub his shoulders and then offer him a more intimate kind of massage.
“I should be done in an hour. Should I meet you at your place?”
Not tonight.
Tonight she was leaving the old ordinary Sarah behind. And she couldn’t do that in her homey little bedroom. “Um…no. I’ll meet you at your hotel.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked. No more rattling papers or chairs. She had his full attention and it made her feel good, almost…cherished.
“Yes. I want to surprise you.”
“And you can’t do that with your family around?”
“No. Not when I’m planning to seduce my guy.”
“Ah, hell. I wish you wouldn’t have said that.”
“Why?” she asked, pitching her voice in a low sexy whisper. Harris had told her he loved the way her voice sounded first thing in the morning.
“I
have to
stay at work.”
For the first time since they’d met she sensed he regretted his job. She took heart from the fact that she was becoming as important to him as work. “Maybe you’ll work faster.”
“Damn straight, I will.”
Silence buzzed on the line and in the background she heard him working on the keyboard. “I should let you go.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you at my hotel.”
“Bye.”
“Sarah?”
“Yes?”
“Am I really your guy?” he asked. There was that hint of vulnerability in his voice again. She wanted to cuddle him and assure him but knew only he could decide if he wanted to be her guy.
“Of course you are.”
“I’ve never had this before.”
“Had what?”
He hesitated so long she was afraid he wasn’t going to answer. “A relationship.”
“Well get used to it.”
“That’s exactly what I’m afraid to do.”
“I’m not going to let you get away that easily.”
“I’m starting to believe you, you know,” he said, quietly.
“Good,” she said. He sounded so vulnerable some times she forgot he was a big Norse god of a man who wasn’t awed by anything.
“What time is Ray picking you up?”
“In an hour.”
“Make it an hour and a half. And I need a favor,” she said, making plans in her head while she talked to Harris.
“What’s in it for me?” he asked.
“You’ll have to wait and see.”
“What’s the favor?”
“Arrange for me to pick up a key to your suite.”
“Done.”
“What, no more questions?”
“I trust you,” he said.
“Do you really?”
“On this I do.”
She was hurt but she understood. She knew Harris well enough to comprehend that it was going to take more than a few weeks to win his trust. But she had a bigger goal in mind. She wanted to win his love.
“Knock first,” she said at last.
“Sarah…”
“Don’t say anything else. We both know where we stand.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m planning to change your mind,” she said, hanging up the phone.
Eight
I
’m planning to change your mind.
The words echoed in his head much the same as his father’s philosophy did—
love bites.
The buy out of the strip mall was almost complete. Harris rubbed the back of his neck. He’d be all done with this project two weeks early if all went according to plan.
Which didn’t surprise him because he’d pushed harder than ever to get everything complete. He wanted no reason to stay in Orlando. No reason to spend more time at Sarah’s small house that was beginning to feel like home. The one he’d forgotten he wanted. One that had nothing to do with priceless Chagalls on the wall or Waterford crystal on the table. One that had to do with an emptiness deep inside that a place had never been able to fill before.
Thanksgiving loomed around the corner and he shivered internally at the thought of the holiday. He hated the holiday season. Which is why he spent so much time in Asia. They didn’t celebrate the American ones and luckily Harris had no memories of the ones in Asia. So they were an excuse to party.
But he always felt alone. Loneliness was its own sort of comfort for him. Or had been before he’d met Sarah. Now he couldn’t fathom spending Spring Festival of the Chinese New Year in Beijing by himself watching the fireworks from his solitary hotel room. But spending it with a woman other than Sarah sounded even less appealing.
Damn.
This was exactly why he’d avoided personal bonds.
He loosened his tie as he entered the hotel and walked toward the elevators. Around him teemed families all sunburned and tired-looking from spending their days at Disney World. Personally Harris had never understood the concept of a vacation where exhaustion was the main goal. He vacationed twice a year in the South Pacific on a very remote island with no phones, faxes or computer modems.
He got off the elevator on his floor and his footsteps slowed. Sarah scared him in ways he’d never thought he could be scared. There was a certain comfort in being a machine. Working all the time and not really interacting socially with other people. Because his control was complete. But with Sarah—he wasn’t in control.
He doubted he’d ever be in control where she was concerned and that made him want to go down to the bar and call her and tell her to go home.