But he’d learned a long time ago that hiding was worse than facing his fears so he continued down the hall. He’d been trying to keep a wall between them. He realized Sarah wasn’t going to tolerate that anymore.
Inserting his keycard into the door he opened it and stepped inside. The room was dark. He’d expected the trappings of romance from the woman who believed in love. He’d expected rose petals on the floor and candles on every surface.
Instead he found Sarah sitting on the couch staring out at the sky filled with fireworks. Filled with the illusion that people used to escape the reality of every day. He dropped his brief case. The cloak of guilt draped over his shoulders. He’d done this to her. He’d taken a girl who believed in white knights and happily ever after and brought her to this the cold loneliness that was his life.
His reality. The reality of the Davidson men. Love was a cold and lonely place to be. It didn’t even matter if she loved him or not. He knew she cared and caring had cost her dearly.
Dave Matthews Band played from the CD player and Sarah took a sip from a wineglass. He watched her quietly for a few minutes not knowing what to say. His mind was chaos, a turmoil he hadn’t been able to quiet since meeting her. A thousand different scenarios spun in his mind and he knew if he could just sort them out a solution would present itself. But there was a desperation inside him toward her. And he thought maybe this was what his father experienced with each new love affair.
“Sarah?” he called, tired of hiding even if it was only from himself.
She shifted on the sofa and stood. There were only shadows in the room. Brief flashes of illuminating light and he knew he should feel better that he couldn’t see deadened emotions in her eyes but he didn’t. The Sarah he’d come to know deserved a man who was comfortable in the full light of her affection. Not someone who ran from it. Not a man who hid from it and from her.
He crossed the room carefully. He didn’t know how to offer comfort. But he’d try. He’d offer to hold her and to help her sort out whatever was troubling her. And if he was the problem, then dammit, he’d leave and let her get on with her life.
“Stop,” she said. Her naturally deep voice, husky.
He froze in his tracks. But she said nothing. Took another sip from her wineglass.
“I helped myself to a glass of wine. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t. I’m later than I planned to be.”
“That’s okay. I chickened out.”
He raised one eyebrow at her in question and then realized she couldn’t see him. “How?”
“I was trying to be more like the women you usually sleep with, but I…I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
“This whole seduction thing. I tried, really I did. But it felt weird.”
“What’s weird about you and me?” he asked. He walked closer to her. He needed to touch her. To hold her. If he made the wrong step now, she’d be gone. And he needed her to stay. Needed her to never leave and he wasn’t sure he had the right to ask her to stay. Even if only for this night.
“Nothing. It just felt like I was trying to be someone else.”
“Don’t do that,” he said. He stopped when a few inches separated them. Her floral fragrance surrounded him, enraging his senses. He covered her lips. They trembled under his fingers. He caressed her, rubbing his thumb against her bottom lip until she turned her head and dropped a kiss in the center of his palm.
“Do you want me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said.
“Then take me to bed and have your wicked way with me.”
She laughed and his heart felt lighter. He refused to think any more tonight. Tonight was about Sarah and her needs. This was the one place where he felt qualified to take care of her. Bending, he scooped her up in his arms and started for the bedroom.
“I thought I was in charge.”
Now he could see the sparkle in her eyes. He bent and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “You are. I just felt like being your white knight.”
“Oh, Harris. You always are.”
She cupped the side of his face, her fingers rubbing over his stubble and Harris wondered if he should shave for her. To make sure he didn’t leave a mark on her. But then he realized he wanted to mark her in every way he could. To somehow let the world know that she was his. The thought staggered him but he didn’t stop. He forced it to the back of his mind.
Sarah could never be his, he reminded himself.
“Only in your eyes,” he said when he could speak.
“Aren’t mine the only ones that matter?”
“Tonight they are,” he said, bending to take her mouth in his. It felt like a lifetime since he’d tasted her. Since he’d drunk from her until his blood pounded heavily in his veins and his erection strained against his inseam. It felt like a lifetime since he’d caressed her soft skin and tickled the sensitive place behind her ear.
It felt like a lifetime since he’d been home and like a man afraid to believe in tomorrow he ignored that feeling and made love to Sarah. Forcing emotion and rational thought to the background, he vowed to make her his so completely that she’d never forget him when he was gone.
“Put me down,” she said as soon as they entered the bedroom. He did, trailing his mouth down her neck and biting her at the place where her pulse beat. It felt like ages since she’d been in his arms. Since their naked skin had pressed against each other. Since she’d experienced the only intimacy she’d been able to get from Harris.
There were no areas on her body that hadn’t been explored but tonight she wanted to explore Harris. To lay claim to his body and hopefully a little of his soul.
He was so close his heat wrapped around her and she leaned in resting her head on his chest. His heartbeat was strong and steady. She listened to it for a few beats before she realized how much she wanted this man. The feelings overwhelmed her and she stood on tiptoe, pulling his head down to hers.
Their eyes met and his gaze shifted before he lowered his head those last few inches and took her mouth. There was nothing subtle about Harris. Especially in the bedroom. She pulled free though it would be so easy to let him take control again. Now that Harris was here her confidence was back and she wanted to make love to him.
“Wait for me on the bed,” she said.
“Okay.”
She entered the bathroom and dressed quickly. The supple feel of the leather bustier and panties was surprising against her flesh. She was already aroused in a way that only Harris had ever made her feel. There was something about the man that touched the woman she hid deep inside.
Tonight she wanted to touch the man deep inside him. And she smiled to herself in the mirror. This outfit ought to help. She bent at the waist and fluffed her hair with her hands. She stood and glanced again at her reflection. She pulled her smudge-free lipstick from her makeup bag and applied a generous coat to her lips. Running her hands down her sides she realized she didn’t feel self-conscious in the least.
Opening the door, she peeked out into the room. Harris was lounging on the bed, the comforter and sheets tossed back. He wore only his white cotton briefs. It amazed her that this man was her lover. He should be with some glam-girl who looked liked she belonged in this luxurious suite.
She tugged the top of the bustier up one more time and bit her lip. Since there wasn’t a glam-girl to be found, she was going to have to be his mate. Her heart beat a little quicker. Yes, she’d be his mate. In life and love, she decided. Now to convince him.
It’s hard to defeat an enemy with outpost in your head.
She repeated her favorite Sally Kempton quote in her head as she opened the door completely. She felt vulnerable and exposed. If he didn’t care about her the way she cared about him, she was taking a huge risk.
He’d left the bedside light on and the rest of the room was in shadows. His chest and abs were strongly delineated and her fingers tingled with the need to stroke him. Tonight she promised herself she’d take the time to taste every hard inch of his torso. She wanted to see what made him clench and claw with need.
She cleared her throat, wanting his full attention on her as she made her entrance.
“Ready?” she asked.
“Honey, a man doesn’t get much more,” he said, gesturing to the hard-on straining against his briefs. The moistness between her legs confirmed what she already knew—she was ready for him, too.
“Good,” she said, pushing open the door and stepping into the room. The carpet under her feet felt warm and comforting after the tile. She’d forgotten the stiletto heels.
Harris didn’t seem to notice her missing shoes. He bolted up off the bed and came to her in a rush. All thoughts of control disappeared as he swept her up in his arms. His mouth ravished hers. His hands caressed everywhere. His fingers dipping into the demicups of her bustier and tweaking her nipples.
Sensation rushed through her, she had to clutch at his shoulders to support herself. His skin was warm to the touch and she kneaded his shoulders and then skimmed her hands down his back, sliding them beneath his briefs and cupping the cool flesh of his buttocks in both her hands.
Harris tried to push the cups of her bra out of the way but the leather was stiff and formed. Cursing, he reached into one cup and pushed her breast until the nipple peaked over the top of the leather cup. He bent and suckled her. She melted.
His hands roamed over her back, following the line of her thong to her wet hot center. He traced a pattern there between her legs and then slid his finger under the gusset of her panties and touched her.
She moaned his name. He shoved her panties down. Then took two steps to the wall, leaning back against it, he shifted his grip on her and removed his briefs.
“Ride me, Sarah.”
She wrapped her legs around his hips and waited for him to take her. He was hard and ready at her entrance but he didn’t thrust into her.
“This is your show.”
She swallowed, reached between her legs and held him at her entrance, then sank down on him. As always there was that too tight feeling. She waited for her body to adjust to his length and then she tightened the walls of her vagina around him and began to move on him.
She gripped his shoulders and rocked her hips. Harris lowered his head and dropped love kisses on her neck and shoulder, suckling the point where they met. His hands roamed her back, stopping on her buttocks. Cupping them and running his finger along the furrow between her cheeks.
She tightened around him as he caressed her there. Rocking harder against him until everything spun out of control and she climaxed calling his name.
Harris held her until she calmed down. He was still hard between her legs. “You didn’t…?”
“Not yet. I want this night to last forever.”
He carried her to the bed and dropped her lightly on it. “Roll over.”
She did as he ordered. He unfastened the bustier and tossed it aside. The sheet against her sensitive breasts chaffed. Harris’s hands roamed over her back, tracing the line of her spine to her buttocks then on to her legs.
He returned again and again tracing the same line until she was undulating on the bed and ready to scream his name. With each pass his fingers came closer to her center which was empty and aching to be filled again by him.
He leaned over her. Covering her body with his warmth. His breath rasping in her ear. His hands sliding over her sides now, his fingers reaching under her body to caress her nipples and her hipbones.
“Ready for me?” he asked, right in her ear.
“Yes,” she said on a moan. Her hips moving against him. His erection brushing between her buttocks and then right over her center.
He shifted against her and she felt him adjust himself before he plunged into her channel from behind. This time he was in charge. He slid one hand under her belly and then down to the center of her desire. Rubbing the little button in a counter rhythm to his thrusts. His other hand he kept on the back of her neck so that she couldn’t move. She felt possessed by him. She felt branded by him. And as she felt her climax tightening her lower body at the same time he stiffened and spilled his seed in her she felt as if their souls mingled.
Harris held Sarah close in the aftermath. He held her until he’d stopped shuddering and the sheen of sweat on his back had dried. She just lay there beneath him. And he felt like he could protect her for a little while.
But they couldn’t stay like this all night. He’d like to. It gave him an easy excuse to hide from her. He could keep her like this and bring her to the brink again and again. Not give either of them a chance to think or talk.
But that wasn’t fair. He rolled over and propped some pillows behind his back. The he tugged Sarah into his arms and told himself holding her like this wasn’t protective. Women liked to cuddle after mind-blowing sex. But Harris had never done it before.
Only with Sarah.
Only for Sarah was he tempted to be better than he knew he could be. Only Sarah made him want to stick around.
Sarah traced random patterns on his chest. She’d wanted to put on a nightshirt but he’d coaxed her into staying nude. He’d never get his fill of just looking at her.
Sated, he felt like he could hold her and not be overwhelmed for a few minutes by the need to possess her. He wasn’t sure of his path. He could leave in two days.
His work here was finished but he wanted to stay with Sarah. He knew he shouldn’t stay for the next few weeks because he wouldn’t stay beyond that. The only reason why he’d become her lover was because he had a definite end date.
He was managing his expectations and managing hers as well. Tonight threw a wrench in his plans. That get-up she’d had on. He thought he’d come in his briefs when he saw her. He’d never imagined her buying and wearing anything so erotic. But she’d looked sweet at the same time. The subtle hesitancy in her steps and the doubt in her eyes.
She deserved a man who could commit to her and her family. Who could commit to giving her the children she dreamed of having. A man who could commit his heart to hers for a lifetime. Not a man like Harris Davidson.
Regret lanced through him and he was tempted to get out of bed. He freaking needed to get out of the bed and put some distance between them. But he’d seen the vulnerability in her earlier and he wasn’t going to put that look back in her eyes.
Not now.