In Legend Born (86 page)

"It was the altitude," Tansen said wearily, ignoring Najdan's accusatory tone. "The lack of air. Some people can't adjust to it."

"But she's a
shallah
!"

Tansen shook his head. "It doesn't matter."

"How could you let this happen to her?" Najdan demanded. "How could you let her
get
like this?"

"I wasn't there." Tansen eased himself onto one of the wooden benches in the Sanctuary, nodding to the Sisters hovering around them. "Let the Sisters take her, Najdan. She'll be all right now that she's here. She just needs rest, warmth, and plenty of broth."

Najdan glared briefly at Josarian, then swung around and carried Mirabar off to a chamber where the Sisters could give her whatever she needed.

Later that evening, wearing fresh bandages and someone else's clothes, Tansen enjoyed a quiet meal with Josarian. He kept reminding himself that Josarian was the Firebringer now. But every time he looked at him, he just saw... Josarian. Changed, yes, undeniably changed somehow; but still the brother he had grown to love.

"You might as well ask," Josarian said at last. "I know you're dying to ask."

Tansen smiled wryly. "All right.
How?
"

"It was like my dreams."

"Pain and ecstasy?"

"Pain that should have killed me, driven me mad, melted my flesh and pulverized my bones. Pain worse than I imagine death by torture to be."

"And ecstasy..."

Josarian nodded. "I have no words for it." He smiled. "My father taught me no words for what a
goddess
can do to a man, only a woman."

"But you and She... Dar, I mean..." Tansen wasn't quite sure how to phrase it.

"Yes." Josarian looked out the window into the black night, his expression distorted by a sudden, intense longing. "
Yes.
"

It was a look that spoke of Otherworldly things, the kind of look that Mirabar sometimes wore. It made Tansen uneasy. 

"And then?" he prodded after a long silence.

With obvious effort, Josarian pulled himself back to the present moment. "I didn't want to come back. I tried to stay. But, uh..."

"She sent you back to us."

"Yes, to finish the war. To get rid of the Valdani."

"And if you succeed?" Tansen asked.

"Then perhaps I will go back to Her."

"What about Calidar?"

"Or perhaps I will go to
her.
" Josarian met Tansen's gaze. "I may not mourn her any longer, though. Not in this life. That was part of the price. I may not love another... woman."

Tansen felt a stab of sharp surprise. "So you think... So Jalan was right about Calidar's death?" 

He saw the grief and confusion in Josarian's expression before it was slowly washed away by resolution and obedience to Dar's will. She truly was a ruthless goddess.

"I think so," Josarian said at last. He shrugged and lightened his tone. "Mirabar says that in the Otherworld, I can be with them both."

Tansen hated his brother's pain and so tried to help him lighten the mood. "Ah, like some Kintish potentate whose palace is full of his jealous wives."

Josarian smiled. "Somehow, I don't think that's quite what Mira meant."

"Why, by all the gods above and below, did you let her go up there with you?"

"How was I supposed to stop her?" said Josarian. "Have you ever tried to talk her out of doing something she was determined to do?"

Tansen laughed. "I withdraw the question."

"I didn't know she was growing ill." Josarian's eyes were soft with regret. "The moment we arrived, they separated us. I was stripped, isolated, put through rituals and ceremonies I would be too embarrassed to describe even to you, and fed nothing but potions that made my head spin. After the first day, I don't think I even remembered Mirabar existed."

"Then your memory is kinder than mine. I felt the sting of her tongue long after I left for Shaljir. Even in the tunnels beneath the prison, my ears felt hot."

Josarian grinned. "Ah, and you didn't even hear what she said
after
you left her at Idalar."

"I'm glad I didn't," Tansen said with feeling.

Josarian confided, "I think even Kiloran was shocked."

They both laughed.

Then Josarian said, "The
torena
should be safe on Mount Niran by now."

"As long as they didn't encounter any Outlookers on the way." Now that he could spare the energy to worry about Elelar, the thought troubled him. "We were pretty high up when I left her."

"And Zimran would do everything in his power to protect her the rest of the way."

"I know." He tried to keep the sour note out of his voice.

Apparently he failed, since Josarian said, "I'm flattered that you left the
torena
alone with my cousin to come after me."

"The lady can fend him off without my help."

"Are you certain she'll try?" Josarian asked gently.

He wasn't, and it bothered him. "Who can be certain
what
a woman will do?"

"True enough," Josarian agreed. "I've been lucky. I've never cared for a woman who... whose affections were uncertain. It would be a hard thing for a man to bear."

Tansen changed the subject. Josarian respected his feelings and followed his lead, discussing new plans for the war, now that they were certain the sea-born folk and the lowlanders would join them. With the age of the Firebringer at hand, even the
toreni
and city-dwellers were bound to come round before long. Mirabar's visions, Armian's words, the ancient prophecies of the
zanareen
...

"It will really happen," Josarian said, his face filled with wonder. "We will make it happen."

"And we will see a new Yahrdan take his rightful place in Shaljir."

Josarian's eyes glowed. "For the first time in a thousand years."

"I never thought I would live to see that."

"Neither did I," said Josarian.

"Perhaps it will be you," Tansen pointed out.

"
Me?
"

"Who better?"

Josarian shook his head. "Not me."

"Why not? You're the Firebringer, after all."

Josarian made a vague gesture. "I'm supposed to make the Valdani leave. What happens after that..." He shrugged. "There's no prophecy about that. Once the Valdani leave Sileria forever, my destiny is as uncertain as everyone else's."

And, Tansen realized with surprise, Josarian didn't care. His epiphany had not changed that. Josarian dreamed only of freeing Sileria from the
roshaheen
, nothing else. The events at Darshon had given him the means by which to do it, and he had willingly paid the price. Now he returned to the war, more focused and committed than ever.

Najdan joined them as they were discussing strategy and debating tactics. He informed them that the
sirana
was much improved. She had kept down a bowl of broth and was now sleeping peacefully, free of fever and nausea. Relieved to hear it, Josarian drew Najdan into the conversation.

The long rains would soon be upon them, the traditional season for the Society's most frequent and most profitable abductions.

"But not this year," Josarian warned Najdan. "We will abduct only Valdani. No Silerians, whether wealthy merchants or
toreni
. The rebellion needs them, and they won't join us if the Society is busy abducting them."

Tansen saw Najdan shift uneasily, his loyalties divided. Though Najdan lacked imagination, he was no fool. He knew that Josarian was right, but the habits of twenty years were hard to break.

Najdan said, "The Society needs money—"

"They got plenty out of Alizar," said Josarian.

"Ah, but the war is expensive,
siran
."

"Everyone is making sacrifices," Josarian pointed out. "The Society can, too. Tell Kiloran—and tell him to tell the other waterlords: There are to be no abductions except those which I authorize."

"Kiloran won't like it," Tansen warned.

"The waterlords won't like it," Najdan added.

Josarian stood up. "I'm the Firebringer. From now on, Kiloran and the waterlords will do what
I
tell them to do."

"But,
siran
—"

"Things have changed. The Society will just have to get accustomed to it." Josarian's expression ruled out further protest from the assassin. "Driving out the Valdani is all that matters now."

Tansen watched him leave. He wasn't sure he agreed with Josarian's decision, but his expression warned Najdan not to try to win him over to a more moderate position. His loyalty to Josarian was as unassailable as Najdan's was to Kiloran—or to Mirabar, these days. But Najdan was right; the waterlords wouldn't like this. Fortunately, though, the rest of Sileria would be behind Josarian. Tansen didn't think the waterlords could afford to defy Josarian's orders if everyone realized that the Society was all that stood in the way of a unified and free Sileria.

"We're leaving first thing the morning," he told Najdan.

"I'll stay here until the
sirana
is well enough to travel."

"I know." He could leave her here with Najdan. No one would protect her more fiercely. "Then you must find Kiloran. She'll help you convince him." Kiloran didn't like Mirabar, but he did listen to her—albeit reluctantly.

"Yes." Najdan poured himself a cup of wine, then said, "Cheylan is with him."

"Oh?"

Najdan nodded. "Since Idalar. Josarian sent him with Kiloran in the
sirana
's place after deciding to come to Darshon."

Tansen waited. It was obvious Najdan wanted to say more.

The comment, slow in coming, couldn't have surprised him more. "I found him... courting the
sirana
at Idalar."

"Cheylan?"

Najdan nodded. Then, as if relieved to have someone to share this with, he said in a rush, "Embracing her. Alone in the dark. Very... passionately."

Tansen felt as if someone had just slapped him. He didn't know why. Mirabar and Cheylan... It shouldn't be that surprising. Each of them had worn out Tansen's voice by insisting he answer questions about the other, after all. Mirabar and Cheylan were alike in ways that ordinary people couldn't understand. They had undoubtedly shared similar hardships, despite the vast differences in their birthrights. In fact, it was hard to picture a man and woman more likely to seek comfort in each other's arms. Tansen himself had once supposed that Cheylan might well be the man for the demon girl.

Yet the thought of Mirabar locked in a "very passionate" embrace with Cheylan now made Tansen feel physically sick. It made him want to burst into her bedchamber right now and demand what in the Fires she thought she was doing that night at Idalar. It made him want to change Josarian's orders and send her anywhere in Sileria except back to Kiloran and back into Cheylan's arms.

Finding his voice at last, he asked, "And the
sirana
. Did she seem to..."

"She... returned the embrace." Najdan folded his arms. "I know that you were in the east with Cheylan for some time. Perhaps you know what kind of man he is and can tell me if he is worthy of the
sirana?
"

If I say he's not, you're going to slip your
shir
between his ribs the next time he touches her, aren't you?

"I, uh..." Tansen knew he'd better tread carefully. He wasn't entirely in control of his own thoughts, and assassins weren't known for mastering their violent impulses. "You, uh, believe that Cheylan will... persist in his courtship?"

"I do."

"And that the
sirana
will receive his attentions favorably?"
Darfire, I sound like my mother.

"Yes."

"Well..." He was aware of an overriding desire to encourage Najdan to drown Cheylan in Lake Kandahar the first chance he got. He faltered, wondering what to say next.

"To be honest, Tansen..." The assassin fingered his
shir
. "I do not like him."

Aware that Mirabar wouldn't thank him for this, Tansen sighed and admitted, "To tell the truth, Najdan, neither do I."