In the Stars (20 page)

I feel a heat starting to rise through me at the thought of Kyle giving me an orgasm backstage. “Ok I will be sure to think of a good signal to use. I really am excited about watching you, though. I think from just the little I have heard that you really are wonderful Kyle.”

I see a sparkle in Kyle’s eyes when I say this. I realize that the last words I just said could be taking very seriously as in relationship terms, and I feel guilty for planting it there. He takes my mouth to his again, and our tongues intertwine with one another automatically. We pull away and Kyle walks me to his door. “If you can, let me know when you get back in from work tonight please, Caroline.”

“I will, Kyle, and hopefully I will be seeing you again tomorrow.”

“Oh I plan on making sure of that, Caroline. Be safe, and I will miss you until then.”

He now has the door open, and I lean in for one last hug and kiss before walking out to Raleigh’s car.

I SIT MY bags down in Raleigh’s back seat and climb into the passenger seat. As soon as I shut my door, Raleigh looks over at me with her very serious expression. “I was really beginning to think I was going to have to come in there and drag you away, Caroline. I was just afraid I might get an inappropriate view of Kyle’s certain parts. Not that I would complain any; god knows he is hot. It would make things a little awkward though.” “Sorry Raleigh, we were just talking about our plans for next week.”

Raleigh pulls out onto the main street and remains silent. I know something more is definitely on her mind, because Raleigh and I don’t do quiet very well. “Ok Raleigh, spill it; I know you have something you want to say.” Her face actually falls some, and she takes a quick glance at me, and then back at the road.

“How do you feel about Kyle? I mean what is it you would like to see come out of this? Before you even tell me, let me tell you what I think he is starting to see. He really likes you, Caroline, and I can tell it is far from just having fun with you. He has started throwing his heart into it now, too. Any chance he gets during our sessions, he talks about you. There is just talk of my therapy and process, and then you. He has a smile on his face the whole time he is doing it, too. I have known you for a long time, Caroline, and I can tell you like him. I can also tell something is holding you back, as far as your own heart goes.”

I can’t help the sigh that escapes me. I lift my hands, and bury my face into them while shaking my head back and forth. “He really is perfect, Raleigh. I think I am just completely screwed up or something. He is tentative, sweet, gorgeous, and also has that bit of a tough guy edge—he is in a band for god’s sake—and the sex is wonderful. So please tell me why a man I have only ran into a few times keeps popping into my head? I am still having dreams about Eric. Then, every time I am around him I swear it is like someone turns my horny switch on. It isn’t just a sexual sensation alone, though; it’s something else too. Eric makes me giddy, and then turns right around and pisses me off in the same moment. My body temperature is all over the place when I am around him. Like putting your feet in ice, while a heat lamp sits over your head. Kyle, on the other hand, deserves someone who realizes all his qualities, and can fully give themselves to him. I am not sure I can give myself fully to him.”

There is silence again for a minute, and then Raleigh finally speaks. “I should have just done a lap dance for him that first day, and then I would be the one dealing with generous, great sex Kyle.” I let out another moan, and Raleigh slightly pushes my shoulder. “I am sorry, Caroline; I was just trying to lighten your mood. Bad choice of timing. You really do like Kyle, though, don’t you?”

“Yes I do, and I really do like spending time with him, and not just for sex. That is what makes all this so confusing. I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want to stop seeing him. I am such a selfish bitch.”

“Ok that is enough; I am the only one that can call you a bitch. You are just confused. It happens. It isn’t like you are having sex with both of them, Caroline. So you aren’t really doing anything wrong. I really do like Kyle as a person, though. Just make sure if you make any final decisions you go about them the right way. I know someone might get hurt, but don’t completely screw him over—ok?”

I look out the side window, watching the trees go by. “That is exactly what I am trying to figure out; if I am doing that to Kyle or not already. I really don’t want to; he doesn’t deserve it. I just can’t get my head wrapped around my thoughts and sensations around Eric, and if they are all just basically lust driven or something more special. Plus, it isn’t even like Eric has ever acted like he wants me, really. Yes, I get a sense at times that he is definitely taking notice of me, but I can’t be certain in what way.”

“You do realize you basically just said you want Eric, right Caroline? You might need to spend some more casual time around him, and figure out if your feelings mean more or not. Does Tara know anything about this?”

I start shaking my head back and forth quickly. “No, no she doesn’t. I am probably not the best at hiding the fact that I take notice of him around her, but more than that she knows nothing. She’s aware I have been going out with Kyle, though, and Eric knows too. Which seems to keep getting brought up in the whole safe sex way by him ever since he saw me buying condoms. See, this is another confusing example. He even brought the use of the condoms and me up again Friday night, before he left with my car. It is all so strange. I don’t want to talk about this around Tara, though; ok?”

“I get it, Caroline. My lips are sealed.”

There is silence again for a moment, and then Raleigh glances over at me quickly. “So I can’t wait to meet Tara, and see my new sleeping arrangements.” Just like that the subject is changed, and I am very grateful. The rest of the drive is back to our normal laughs and everyday life talk.

Once we pull up in front of Tara’s house, Raleigh has a big smile on her face. I can’t help the smile across mine as well. I really do like the home and the neighborhood surrounding it. “Wow Caroline, you were right. I really like this place already. I wish we could have found something like this together our first year.”

“I really like it, too. You know, though, there is no way we could have afforded this on our own. If it wasn’t for Tara’s family being willing to work out the great deal for me then I wouldn’t be here now, either.”

I can see the slight sadness crease at the corners of Raleigh’s eyes. It is only there for a second, but I still noticed it. This is all really hard on her, having to miss out this year. Even though she is really happy for me, I know it is hard for her that I am ending up here with Tara, instead of Raleigh.

As we are stepping out of the car, the front door swings open. Tara is practically bouncing out to us with a huge smile on her face. She walks up to Raleigh first, and gives her a hug. “It is so good to finally meet you. I have been excited all morning, waiting for you two to get here.” Raleigh hugs Tara back, but is looking over at me like, wow-really. I just smile and shrug my shoulders.

Tara walks over to me, giving me a hug, and then starts for the front door again. “Well Tara, we probably could have been here a little earlier if Caroline didn’t have such a hard time dragging herself away from Kyle’s place.” Tara glances over her shoulder back at me, and Raleigh just gives me that smirk of hers.

I give Raleigh the evil eye. “It isn’t really anything like she is trying to make it sound, Tara. You will figure out over time that Raleigh is the queen of over exaggerating.”

Tara just slightly shrugs her shoulder and smiles. “Well, you are here now, so let’s make the most of it. Starting with a tour for Raleigh.”

Tara walks us through the house and shows us all the rooms, like she did for me the first day. Raleigh seems excited the whole time, and claims the side of the bed closest to the window. Her reasoning being since I would be staying slightly more often than her, I should be able to sleep near the night stand and bedroom door. I just roll my eyes, and Tara laughs at us both.

Once we reach Tara’s room and she opens her closet, Raleigh’s jaw pretty much drops to the floor. She stands there frozen for a second, and I shove her in. Her hand starts lightly gliding across the racks and shelves. She stops, and looks over at Tara. “Ok, you have just officially become my new best friend. We can still let Caroline hang out with us some, I guess.” This actually makes me smile. I was worried about how Tara and Raleigh would do together. The smile right now, on both Tara and Raleigh’s faces, though, confirms things will probably be just fine.

We make our way back to the kitchen and sit at the island. Tara gets us all a drink and some snacks. “Ok Caroline, I just have to tell you I am really sorry about Lori on Friday night. I never could stand that bitch while she and Eric were actually a couple, and I sure as hell don’t want to be around her now. She showed up at his house Friday, right before he was going to leave to come to mine. Once he mentioned he was getting ready to come see me, she pretty much insisted she come too. Lori used the whole, oh-how-I miss-Tara-I-would-love-to-see-her-again reasoning. Such bullshit; she just wants to get her claws into Eric again. As crude as it sounds, she is just basically a booty call every once in a while for him now. She is hoping for so much more, but it isn’t going to happen with Eric.”

I slightly cringe with this information and Raleigh looks over at me, and back away quickly. “It isn’t your fault, Tara; he is the one that brought her. You didn’t know. I will admit, she didn’t exactly seem like someone I would ever care to be around again, though.”

“I don’t want to be around her either. That is the thing, Eric knows I don’t like her. I made sure to make that very clear to him as soon as they broke up. Hell, I think I even made it pretty clear while they were together. So her whole excuse to see me really shouldn’t have worked. She was one of his longer relationships, though, so I guess he has some feelings toward her. Eric never really has been good at the whole long term relationship thing. He claims it just isn’t worth it, and his job keeps him too busy anyway. Maybe he was just a little wound up Friday, and figured he would keep her around for the night to get what he needed later. Honestly, with her, though, he could have taken it before he left, and then pushed her away. Trust me, she would come back again—they always seem to try and come back.”

I am now completely silent and still. Everything Tara just said about Eric and relationships is running full force through my head. Raleigh must since my sudden reaction, and clears her throat. “So, Tara, do you have any pictures of this Eric, and the rest of your family, around? I love looking at pictures. Plus, I have to know where you get those eyes of yours. They just really stand out—so pretty and dominant.”

Tara gets up from her stool with a smile. “I have a couple framed pictures lying around here. I will get them, and show you.” Raleigh nudges my shoulder.

I look up at her and just mouth “I’m good, it’s nothing”. She gives me a slight eye roll, and then Tara is back with three picture frames in her hands.

She lays the first down in front of us and starts pointing at the people in them. “Ok, this one is me and my parents. I obviously get my eyes from my mom. Eric’s eye shape is more like my dad’s, but the color is just like Mom’s too.”

Raleigh and I both look over the picture. I can definitely see a very strong resemblance between Tara and her mom. Tara is taller, but other than that they look very much alike. I can also tell that Eric looks a great deal like his father. I remember Eric’s jaw line looking a bit stronger, and then of course those eyes, but they look very much alike. I also take notice that, even though you can see some age around his dad’s face, he is a very good looking man—and built.

Raleigh looks over at Tara. “Tara, I can’t believe how much you look like your mother. She is very pretty, and your dad is a very nice looking man too. This is a great picture.”

“I hear that about my mother and I a lot. I can see the resemblance some, but not as much as everyone tells me of course. Obviously, my height comes from my dad.” She then lays down the second picture. “This is me and my brothers. This one is Eric, the oldest, and this is Nicholas, the middle child. I, of course, am the baby and the only girl. So that is why there always seems to be too much over protection when it comes to me from my family.”

I am practically leaning on top of Raleigh, looking over at the picture. Noticing Nicholas is also a good looking guy. He is about two inches shorter than Eric, and his hair is a light brown in a long messy style. I can’t tell the color of his eyes, but they are definitely not the emerald green like Eric’s. He’s very built looking too. The family obviously has a very good gene pool. Then my eyes land on Eric and his smile. I think my mouth has most likely dropped open.

I feel Raleigh’s leg lightly nudge mine, and I glance over at her. She looks at me and mouths “Oh my god”. I just nod my head.

Tara lets out a slight giggle. “Yeah I know, ladies, the ever so irresistible Wright boys. You definitely aren’t the first to notice.”