Jessie's eyebrows lift and she smiles. "Absolutely. What'll ya have?"
"Um." Ryleigh hesitates, seemingly not having a clue what she's asked for. "I'm not sure?"
Dave busts out in a laugh and he doesn't hide it, but then offers, "Grab her a shot of tequila." He throws down a twenty-dollar bill, before telling Jesse, "And it's on me."
"Thank you," Ry tells him, pulling out the stool and getting comfortable in the chair next to mine. Her arm brushes my elbow and when I turn to look at her, she's still grinning.
"So, where'd Cammypants run off to in such a hurry?" she questions, giving Cam a nickname I love but she'd hate.
"God knows," Dave utters, sucking back the last of his beer. "Good riddance, though."
After Jessie's brought the shot, and Ryleigh's sucked it down without waiting for us to explain the need for salt and lime, Dave slaps the back of my shoulder. "I gotta run." Bending slightly so only I can hear him speak, he finishes, "Don't do anything stupid."
Pulling back and sending him a hard glare, I snap, "What the hell?"
Dave smiles and it's not one I trust. "And by stupid, I mean don't mess this up."
"Bye, Dave," Ryleigh says to him. She must've heard what he said because now she's grinning like a one-shot-is-too-much fool.
"Later, Ryleigh."
"I've always liked him," she states as he walks away. Lifting her hand to get Jessie's attention she asks, "Can I have another one of those?"
"Wait." I raise my finger to stop Jess from starting the shot. Turning in my seat, I ask, "You know what you're doin', Ry?"
Shaking her head, she admits, "Nope. But I feel better than I did when I walked in here, so I'm thinking I could use another."
Shaking my own head with exasperation, I look to Jess. "One more, then she's done."
"What?" Ryleigh cries. "You can't cut me off!"
"Not my intention. Finish your shot. We're leavin'."
Her face scrunches. "What? Why?"
"I brought the truck. Cam's gone. The bar's dead. We'll pick up some beer and take a drive."
Her eyebrows wiggle in jest. "Can I drive?"
Still and forever the answer is, "No. Now can we go?"
"Cancel the shot," she tells Jess, pushing the lime and salt away. "Let's go."
Chapter Seven
RYLEIGH
"You're ridiculous," I accuse before I laugh aloud, listening to Chase reenact
his
version of me as a kid following him around the fields. "I didn't talk to
all
the animals like that. Maybe just the pretty ones."
As he comes off his own chuckle, his hand grabs then shakes my wrist. The playful banter has been fun.
"You did, Ry. Those poor horses had no choice but to listen to you explaining to them where they came from." Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he continues, "And Jesus Christ, neither did I."
We're hanging out in the bed of his big red truck. Chase is sitting with his back to the side as I'm seated next to him, facing the open tailgate.
As he drove us out into the middle of nowhere, he didn't ask about where Myles had run off to or why I looked upset in the bar earlier. I know he saw the disappointment on my face, but being the gentleman he's always been, he gave me an out and didn't probe further. Between being dissed by my fiancé then having an unexpected heart-to-heart with Mom, I'm relieved he didn't push. Since being with him, I haven't thought of either instance at all.
Pulling my legs up and in to my chest, I wrap my arms around them for no other reason than to feel less exposed. One hand holds my beer and the other rests on my knees, holding my chin. I'll admit, I haven't felt this free and open in years. Could be the beer, or the company, but I'm happy tonight.
"So," I start and then take another quick drink for courage. "Why'd you stop talking to me?"
"What?" he asks, feigning ignorance. I know he knows what I'm referring to because he's doing all he can to avoid looking up at me.
"Did you get tired of me? Was that it? You were too cool to hang around the awkward teenage neighbor. Was that it?"
"No, Ry," he says softly, looking down and peeling the label off his beer. "It wasn't that."
So I'm right in that he had his own reason to sever our friendship. I just don't know what the reason is yet. I prod, "Well? What was it then? What did I do wrong?"
Inhaling a deep breath, Chase finally looks up and tries to explain. "I thought if I ignored you, you'd stop comin' around and just go away."
Ouch
. I gasp.
"How long have you been waiting to sling that insult?" I question. Hearing him put it so directly hurts.
Releasing a small fake laugh, he corrects, "Not like that. I mean…." He looks out into the field, then says, "I was a man."
"Uh, yeah?"
"I was a man attracted to a woman."
What
?
"Chase, you're not…." Before I can finish, I realize what he's trying
not
to tell me. "Oh."
"You were changing."
"That happens, but it shouldn't have affected our friendship."
"But it did."
"I got that," I confirm.
We both take another drink before he paralyzes me with his further explanation. "About the time I thought I wanted to ask you out, you started seeing Myles."
I'd say he was giving me shit and not being serious, but looking at him now, so still and so calm, I feel his sincerity. And his admission comes as a surprise, to say the least.
"I don't know what to say to that," I whisper.
The silence lingers, the only sound the crickets chirping in the distance. The air is thick with the late-evening Midwest humidity and there's no breeze to cool my skin.
"Glad you asked?" He smiles, twisting his neck and looking inside the truck's back window.
"No, not really."
"We can forget it," he dejectedly suggests. "I'd rather we did, anyway."
The notion that I could forget what he just said is ridiculous.
"I had a huge crush on you back then," I confess right before taking a healthy drink. After swallowing, I question, "Did you know that?"
With a lighter tone, he replies, "Yeah, I knew."
Raising my head and turning it to look directly at him, I ask, "You knew I thought of you… that way?"
"Ry?" he calls, and I sense another jab coming. "You didn't exactly do a great job of hiding it."
"Oh, whatever," I snap back. "You were so busy with all your girlfriends. I'm surprised you took the time to notice."
"Oh, I noticed. I noticed how pissed your little girl self would get when I told you I was busy."
"Gag," I say dramatically. "You were such a douche bag."
He lowers his voice then strikes me again. "I still noticed, right? I mean, a man doesn't forget the first girl who tells him he's pretty."
Oh, my God.
"You remember that?" I sink back and bury my face in my knees. "I was so lame."
"You weren't," he denies. "You were little Annie. You've always been that to me. I won't say being called pretty wasn't a shot to my ego, though. But it was sweet coming from you."
Reaching over, I do what I know I shouldn't, but I feel safe with Chase. My hand covers his and holds on. "I'm glad you told me why you stopped talking to me." His hand closes around mine and he doesn't let go. "I never knew and it still bothered me."
George Straight's "I Cross My Heart" is playing from inside the truck. I can't help but think how fitting it is to be sitting here, in an open field, drinking a beer, with the first man I ever loved.
And just like that I frown, realizing it's not the man I'm going to marry in just three weeks.
"We should go," he murmurs. When his hand drops from mine, he starts to move to the front of the truck bed. Once standing down on the field below, he offers his hand to help me down.
"Thank you for bringing me here tonight. It was perfect. I had fun."
His hand squeezes mine as he brings it up and holds it to his chest. Judging by the sincerity in his voice, his confession must be what he believes is true. "I hate you're marrying Myles, but I get it."
"You get it?"
"He's more for you than anyone in this place will ever be. Just do your childhood crush a favor?"
"Anything." I smile to ease his tension.
"Don't let him hurt you."
His words echo in my head as I search for their deeper meaning. Surely Chase can't know how I've been feeling and how much I'm doubting my marriage to his brother? Unless Myles said something, but I know he's too proud to seek advice from Chase.
I don't know.
"He won't hurt me."
"He does, I'll fuckin' kill him."
I can't hold back my laugh. What he said wasn't exactly funny; however, it breaks the tension between us.
Chase's eyes darken as his face inches closer to mine. The skin on the back of my neck tingles and my stomach twists with anticipation. The sweet smell of the beer he drank mixes with the smell of mine. It's then I realize…
He's going to kiss me.
I freeze in place when his warm lips drop down and touch mine. The chaste kisses on each side of my mouth are soft and gentle. When his tongue runs the length of my bottom lip, I open and he goes for it.
Goes for it.
I take a step back, to no avail. The lowered tailgate hits the back of my thighs and a fierce sting forces me to bite down on his lip. It only serves to incite more aggression as he pushes me down and positions himself on top of me. His hands are no longer pulling me in to him, but positioning at either side of my body, caging me in.
Instinctively, my arms make their way around his neck. I bring him in closer and hold him against me. Once our chests come together, I feel the heat of his body increasing the heat of mine.
Oh, God.
Sensing my internal battle, Chase pulls back, lifting his head so it's looming above me. His small smile glistens from my kiss. The moonlight casts light on his face and I watch him suck his lips to taste me there. Letting me go, Chase stands, runs his hands through his hair, and takes me in. I finally gather the strength to bring myself to my feet.
"Christ, I shouldn't have done that," he hisses as reality breaks through.
"No. Probably not," I agree, but not for the reasons he’s assuming.
What he shouldn't have done was just give me a glimpse of the best, most meaningful kiss I've ever been given. Not because it wasn't only perfect and beautiful, but because I'm not sure I'll ever expect less than what the promise of being so close to him just offered.
Lust.
Longing.
Love
.
Leaving him here, I have to come to terms with the fact I'll be walking away from everything I've ever wished for.
You've loved that one man your whole life, Ryleigh. Why did you stop?
The truth is, though, I don't think I ever have.
Chapter Eight
CHASE
I haven't heard from Ryleigh since I took her home in awkward silence over a week ago. I haven't been back to the bar for fear of running into her. I haven't answered her calls, not wanting to hear her make excuses for what passed between us. And I've refused to talk to Myles at all.
Shit
.
My body aches from the workout I put it through tonight in my father's stable. The punching bag hanging from the rafters filled in for a good emotional escape. As I bloodied my hands, I closed my eyes and images of Ryleigh standing in my arms were unescapable.
In two weeks she's going to marry him and I'm powerless to stop it.
If I offered myself to her, she'd be a fool to accept. The future with me is so uncertain in comparison to her future with him. They're together. They've already planned a life, which I'm sure includes family.
Maybe she'll name their firstborn after me.
Son of a bitch.
"You look like shit, brother." Myles walks in my living room, freshly showered and changed.
"Where you going?"
Rolling his eyes, he tells me, "Mom's got some shit with Kate she wants me to sit and look over for the wedding."
"Where's the bride? She goin' with you?" I shouldn't ask, it's not my place, but I want to know where she is, even if I can't be with her.
"No idea," he flips back with boredom.
Ass
.
I don't allow my mind to take the bait of anger; rather, I just turn my head back to the mechanic revealing his hot rod on the television.
"You stayin' in again tonight?" he questions, looking at the empty bottles of beer scattered around the table where my feet are resting.
"Yeah." My one-word answer is met with a scoff as he walks to the door and moves through it.
Bastard
.
Chapter Nine
RYLEIGH
"Holy to high heavens," Kate exasperates on a breath while dramatically fanning her reddened face. "I don't… I can't even…."
Yeah, I agree.
"I haven't seen him since."
"Chase didn't call you after… that?"
I've called him, but he hasn't answered.
"What we did was a mistake." I sidestep her question and watch her eyes narrow from across the table. "And it was wrong. We both knew it."
"Oh, Ryleigh. What'd I say?"
"What?"
Leaning in, she places her palms on the table and says, "You picked the wrong brother." When I move back in my seat to protest, she shakes her head. "I'm telling you, you're wrong. It's not too late."
"Kate—" I try to stop her from continuing.
But she presses forward, this time louder. "It's not! It's not too late. In high school, did you not tell me he was the greatest man you've ever known?"
She's right, I said that. But I also once said
Beverly Hills 90210
reruns were a healthy way to release stress after a long day at school. Not exactly sage advice given by my fourteen-year-old self.