"Where's Myles right now?" she queries with both a lot of anger and suspicion. "Tonight, Ryleigh," she demands. "Where's Myles?"
"With Colby and Devon in town."
Earlier in the evening I convinced Kate to take a road trip with me so we could talk, or I could talk and she could listen. Said road trip led us only one town over, population less than our own. When Kate heard the way the conversation was going, she insisted I stop the car immediately. She was near giddy in reaction and wanted to be somewhere she could examine every facet of what I was telling her, rather than have me looking to the road ahead.
My friend is clever like that.
Prompting me to speak, she asks again, "Where specifically is he tonight?"
"What? Why? What's that matter?"
"Answer me, please," she demands, and her tone is not only out of character, but hauntingly scary.
"I…."
"God, I love you. You know this, right?"
"Yes," I clip. "What's wrong with you?"
Standing up, throwing cash on the table, Kate moves to me and grabs my arm. My bottle of beer is still half-full so I'm confused as to what she thinks she's doing.
Once I'm standing, she moves around me and prods my back in the direction of the door. When I turn to grab her to keep her from shoving me forward, I inadvertently get a glance over her shoulder.
What I see boils my blood.
Infiltrates my every pore.
And finally threatens to shred my already threadbare existence.
Myles, my fiancé and supposed love of my life, is sitting at a table in the corner of a sleazy bar. A bleached-blonde woman is sitting on his lap. She's wearing a skirt, straddling him, nuzzling his neck and giggling loudly enough that the sound stings my ears, while his hands grip her ass with what looks to be fierce desperation.
Kate's voice in my ear breaks my concentration. "Honey, let's go."
My eyes, blurry and drowning in the ache of what's in front of me, roll to hers. Her expression is kind and understanding.
"Let's go," she mumbles. "Now."
"Where?" I whisper.
Where do you go after seeing what you can never un-see?
Where's there a place on earth to hide your devastation from the cruel and cold outside world?
Where does a person feel safe in the presence of another again?
Chase
.
It's a bad idea. Even thinking through the repercussions of it, I know it is.
"Take me home," I murmur with a slight aim for hope, but loud enough she can hear my request and not deny it.
"I didn't want you to see that. I tried…."
"Take me home," I tell her again, swaying as I reach down to grab my phone and purse.
"Okay, Ry. Let's go."
★★★
"Are you sure about this?" she questions carefully as we sit outside Chase's house, both staring up at his front door.
His red truck sits beside her Camry, mocking me and reminding me that it wasn't only Myles who was unfaithful. "I need to talk to him, Kate. If for no other reason than…."
"How will you handle all of this with Myles?"
Although I'd love to explain, I just don't have that answer. I know Myles almost as well as I know myself, or at least I thought I did. I now understand the disconnection in our relationship is affecting him as much as it is me. It has to be. I'm not making excuses, but I'm not about to throw everything away based on a woman sitting on his lap. Nor a single moment that shouldn't have ever transpired between me and Chase.
"I'll figure it out tomorrow." I dismiss her question, eager to get away from her.
Hearing the locks of her car click open, I jump before turning to face her. She watches me carefully before offering, "You want me to wait out here? Ya know, in case he's not home or things aren't…."
"No," I reply quickly, grabbing the handle and opening the door. The inside light of the car casts a sure glimpse of my friend and it's not disappointment, sadness, or worry playing in her eyes. "You're reading into something that's not there, Kate."
Smiling shortly, she reaches over and grabs my hand clutching my purse. "I'm not. I swear. But I'll be honest with you."
"As you always are," I return with an eye roll.
Nodding once, she says, "You just saw a woman taking advantage of your man and you're not swelling up in tears or looking for a rock to hide under."
"I haven't had time to process."
"You have. Which is why I trust you know what you're doing."
Leaning over the console, I give her a quick kiss to the cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow."
"And I'll certainly be waiting."
Once I'm out of the car and headed up to Chase's door, I hear her call out her window before she speeds away, "Make good choices!"
Right
.
So easy.
And here we go.
Chapter Ten
RYLEIGH
"What are you doin' here, Ry?" Chase asks once I've pushed past him, closed the front door behind me, and leaned against it for support.
What am I doing here?
"And while you're at it, you wanna tell me why you look like you've seen a goddamn ghost?"
I don't say anything for fear if I do, I won't only lose my nerve, but my determination to say what I have to say.
"Ryleigh," he calls, standing with his feet apart and his arms crossed over his massive chest. He's eyeing me with the same suspicion Kate had at the bar, but rather than blatant concern, his look is more controlled.
"I was in the neighborhood," I answer, trying desperately to escape the fear welling in my throat. "Thought I'd stop by and say hi."
Walking to me, as though I'm prey to his predator, Chase blocks me in. My stomach warms and flutters as my hands shake at my sides.
His hands hit the door on either side of my face and he leans against me without shame. "Tell me why you're here," he whispers.
The top of his baseball hat, along with his large arms, have created a private curtain around us. All I can see are his dark blue eyes boring into mine.
Gathering courage, I ask, "Did you mean what you did that night in the field?"
Startled, he shakes his head quickly as if trying to clear it. "What?"
"When you kissed me, did you mean it? Or was it because we were alone on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere?"
"Why are you asking me this?" he grinds out through clenched teeth.
At his evasive measures to avoid my question, my heart starts to race and my vision blurs. I'm succumbing to the pressure of doing exactly what I know I shouldn't.
Really, though, God knows where Myles could be or where he's been since we've been home. The countless times I've asked myself this, I've tried to avoid lending any belief to the possibilities he would stray from us. But with a woman held so willingly in his arms, there's no point arguing.
My engagement to him is over. Done. And it took coming here to realize that.
The panic swells in my chest, restricting the air I desperately need to keep calm. Chase continues looking at me without saying a word.
"Answer me!" I demand, this time louder.
I turn my head to the side to avoid his troubling gaze. This does nothing other than give me a beautiful view of his powerfully strong arm.
His hand drops from my side and he grabs my chin, holding it in front of him while his eyes scan my face. "Jesus, sweetheart. Calm down."
"Chase?" I plead. "Tell me."
For a split second, I think I could be wrong and the times Chase and I shared together since I came home were nothing more than my old feelings of adoration for him coming back as an adult.
Then Chase takes a breath, closes his eyes, and admits, "Being alone with you, out in the middle of goddamn nowhere, meant more to me than being anywhere else with
anyone
else. And it may make me a dick, but Ryleigh, I swear to God when I touched you, I didn't give any weight that you were his because right then, you were only mine."
I feel those words; he means them. I know he does because I feel the same.
"Now, why'd you come?" he whispers hoarsely.
"I don't know."
"You do," he replies, pressing against me and giving me a small reminder of why I'm here.
His tongue marks my bottom lip first, then moves to the top. His breathing becomes so labored the hair on my neck moves each time he exhales.
"Be with me," I restlessly murmur.
At my words, Chase's body grows tense and solid.
Shit.
"Chase, I didn't…." I start to apologize, but don't get the words out.
Reacting swiftly, he grabs both my hands, positioning them over my head as he pushes my back further into the door. His grip drops down to capture my wrists and he not so gently squeezes before demanding, "Tell me you meant what you just said."
Of course I meant it. How can he think otherwise? I'm here, with him, wanting…
"Ryleigh, say it."
"I meant what I said," I confirm.
His mouth takes mine in a fierce, uncontrollable, unrelenting kiss. His tongue, so warm and inviting, moves in sync with mine as he thrusts his hips into me. I feel his excitement.
Once I've lost my breath and can't take any more, I pull my head as far back as he'll allow. My eyes meet his and knowing the fire I'm about to stoke, I throw out all caution and say again, "Be with me."
Bending slightly, Chase wraps his arms behind my knees and waist as he lifts me and cradles me with care. His head lowers and he nuzzles my neck before he turns us to lock the door. Then, without any second thoughts or delay, he takes us to his bedroom.
Once there, Chase sets me on my feet and moves the rumpled sheets and blankets away. Before long I'm blanketed by Chase's strong body and feeling the one part of him I've never had. Chase possesses my body, etching himself into my heart and imprinting his soul to mine. He gives me something I never imagined I could have.
His hands explore my body, his tongue memorizing every place he feels my reaction. His lips soothe each ache and each longing with grace and care.
This
is passion.
This
is desire.
This
is us.
As our bodies shudder with lasting release, Chase looks down and in the light from the hallway I catch his small smile.
"I knew you were perfect," he murmurs quietly, leaning down to chastely kiss my now well-kissed lips. "Perfect," he repeats as he rolls to the side, taking me with him.
"You didn't know that. You probably say that to all your girls."
His body tenses again. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings, I only wanted to lighten the mood.
"Take a compliment, Ry. I meant it."
"Okay," I concede, but say nothing more.
"Where's Myles?"
"In Everton," I answer simply, not wanting to confess that's exactly what brought me here.
Chase moves his hand from behind his head and reaches for mine, lying against his chest. He entwines our fingers and carelessly massages the ring that forever promises me to his brother. He twists it around twice before breaking the thick silence. "I don't know how to do this," he says. "I still don't know why you're here."
"I came here because it's what I chose to do."
"That's it?" he asks, his tone falsely jovial. "You let me have you, Ryleigh. And you did that as his fiancée. I want to know what happened tonight."
"Why?"
Sitting up, taking me with him, he scoots back and rests his back against the headboard. He reaches over before I'm fully covered with the sheet and tugs at my hand. He looks down, runs his thumb over the top of my ring, as if seeing it for the first time, and says, "Because you owe me that explanation. After what just happened, are you still his?"
"Yes," I blurt. And I am. Until I can talk to Myles and break things off, technically I'm still with him.
Chase doesn't say anything. He drops my hand and sighs. "Thank you for coming," he tells me first. "This…" He hesitates briefly then places his hands in his lap. "I'll always remember how much this meant to me."
Not getting a good feeling at all, I straighten and lean in his direction. "Chase?"
"Now I need you to go and don't ever say my name again."
Chapter Eleven
RYLEIGH
"You've kept yourself cooped up in here for two days now, Ryleigh Ann. Dad's losing patience and now even your sister is threatening an intervention," my mother informs me. When I keep quiet and don't offer a comedic response as I normally would, she lowers her voice to gentle and asks, "Please, baby. Won't you talk to me?"
When I turn over in bed enough to see her, I find her standing just inside the door with her arms crossed over her chest. Her look of concern is alarming, considering I haven't even told her all that's happened.
"I just need some time, Mom," I vaguely explain. "I just… tell Dad to have some patience."
"Ryleigh Ann, I'm your mother," she says tersely. I turn my head back and stare at the wall of my old room. A few minutes pass before I hear her stepping in closer. I know she's picking up random things to put into different places. Mom cleans when she's nervous. "You're my daughter. I think I know you better than you give me credit for."
"It's not that," I voice through a raw throat and stuffy nose. My eyes hurt from constant tears and my body aches from wretched sobs. "Mom, I'm sad."
For the last two days, I've led myself through a gambit of emotions. Denial, anger, sadness, bitterness… you name it, I've felt it.
As I brokenly stood outside Chase's front door, waiting for Kate to arrive, the events of the evening started to take a toll. By the time she pulled up in the driveway, I was pissed. Being made a fool of by my fiancé, then being rejected by the man I thought I was safe in going to, stung like nothing I've ever felt. Not only was Myles's betrayal a hit to my ego, Chase completely broke my heart and he did it out of self-preservation. I hurt him.