Indulgence (Taking Chances #1) (2 page)

“How could it be late?  Christmas isn’t for another six months,” I mumbled.  I sat my book down on the coffee table and picked up the envelope.  My finger slid under the seal, ripping it open.  Inside was a folder with all sorts of neatly organized paperwork.  Immediately, I recognized the top document as a contract.  

“I know that, silly.  It happens on New Year’s Eve.  So it would a late Christmas gift by that point.”  Her mischievous smile grew at her on-the-fly explanation.  “Besides, I know how you are about this Sebastian guy,” she tapped her finger on top of my discarded book, “and thought this might help cheer you up a little bit.”

Stunned and a little giddy, I looked up at my best friend and smiled.  “You seriously think I would go to an erotic masquerade?  On New Year’s Eve?”

“Don’t be such a prude, Addy.  Besides, it’s Sebastian Hawk’s Indulgence party.  These invitations aren’t easy to come by, and I got us both one.”

I chuckled at the thought of me at a sex party.  As much as I tried to deny it publicly, everyone knew I was very much a fan girl when it came to Sebastian Hawk.  I’d read every article, watched every newsreel, and obsessed over every tabloid story printed about him.  Most people worshipped big-screen celebrities.  Mine was a world famous author.  And to hold in my hand an invitation to his New Year’s sex party was short of a miracle.  People wanted to know how to get that coveted invitation, and thanks to my best friend, I knew what it took to even be considered for such an affair.  

My eyes scanned the document.  It required me to include headshots and medical records, along with completing an elaborate questionnaire that delved deep into my sexual experience; sort of like a sexual resume.  I was floored at some of the personal questions involved.  One question asked for my total number of past sexual partners.  Another asked if I had ever had anal sex.  Not that I hadn’t.  Again, another one of those clues I should’ve caught on with Jacoby.  That was his favorite sexual position.  Live and learn.

I looked up, my mouth hanging open.  “Are you serious?”

“What?  I ask the same thing of my subs.  It’s necessary to understand a person’s likes or dislikes in the realms of sex.  You don’t want to do or make someone else do something that’s uncomfortable.”

Oh, the temptation.  To actually attend one of these parties.  To possibly meet the Sebastian Hawk.  Yet, I knew that was impossible.  Legend had it that Sebastian never participated in the parties, but he always hand picked his guests.  If that were true, he handpicked me.  But if it was all crap, well, it just seemed odd to me for a man as hot as Sebastian to have a party like that in his home and not participate.  Then again, what did I know?  He could be a eunuch or something, which I highly doubted, but it wasn’t my place to judge.  

 “Don’t think about it, Addison.  Just complete the damn paperwork and send it in.  We’ve got six months to prepare for the fucking hottest night of our lives, and I’m not going to let you weasel your way out of it with that good girl, wholesome crap you do.  I know there’s a sex kitten inside you just waiting to sink her claws into a stud muffin.”

“I’ll think about it,” I chortled.  Oh, how it felt good to laugh.

“Don’t think.  Just do.”

“I’ll think about it,” I reiterated, tossing the envelope on top of my book.

Amber stood up and started toward the door.  “I’ll get you to go somehow, and it will be the most amazing night of your life.  You’ll see.”

“If you say so.”  I barely had the last syllable out before she disappeared from my house.  With her gone, I could get back to my fun of Jackson and Gwyn.  I reached for my book but picked up the envelope instead.  My heart pounded, my breathing shallowed.  What was the harm in completing the application?  It didn’t mean I had to go.  

Excited about my new prospect, I darted upstairs to my office where I spent the rest of the evening blushing and filling in a questionnaire for what could be the most amazing night of my life.

I gnawed on the end of my pen.  Bored, my mind wandered everywhere but where it should’ve been, which was in the middle of a blasted conference call.  As the youngest VP for one of the nation’s largest banks, it was a major ordeal that upper management recognized the success of my division.  As a reward, they were adding five new locations to my portfolio.  Some reward—give me more work to do. Not that I was complaining.  Job stability and all.

But instead of paying attention to the earnings report for each of my new branches, my mind drifted far, far away.  It was New Year’s Eve, and I was stuck behind my desk.  The only thing worse than working on a ‘holiday’ was working on two.  I’d worked Christmas Eve, as well.  Call me a workaholic, but I loved my job, and it kept my mind busy.

I glanced down at my cell phone; my whole body a bundle of nerves.  Only an hour ago, I’d received a text message from Jacoby that left me puzzled and anxious.  I swiped my fingers across the cool, glass screen.  At the same time the screen burst to life, my heart thundered in my chest.  As I tapped the messaging app, I slid my tongue over my dry lips.  It’d been a year—a very long, hard year—but I managed to get over him.  Accepting that Jacoby and I were only ever meant to be friends was the hardest thing I’d probably ever have to do; yet somehow I’d done it.  But his text message appeared and I was thrown for a freaking loop.

Jacoby Cross
: Hey, Red. We still on for yoga today?  The weather’s getting pretty crappy.

Red
.  He hadn’t called me that since…  

I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed back the cherished memory.  The first time Jacoby called me Red was after our first kiss.  I’d never forget the look in his eyes as he held my face in his hands.  That kiss surprised us both, yet it felt so right.  The way his hands slipped into my hair as he kissed me sent waves of emotion coursing through me.  Even before we got together, he’d always loved my long, red hair.  After that kiss, he told me that my hair was the color of love, which was fitting since I was the epitome of love.

My heart stopped.  Air caught in my throat.  That one memory echoed through my mind, giving me both a euphoric high and a depressing low.  I opened my eyes and shook my head, as if to erase the pain and pleasure from my memory.  I swallowed hard and read further.

Jacoby Cross:
 I need to talk to you about something really important.

Really important?

The last time he wanted to talk to me about something
really important
was when he informed me he was gay.  I shifted through a thousand possibilities of what could be so important.  Since Christmas was already over, I knew it couldn’t be that.  This was our first Christmas apart.  For most of the festivities with my family, I felt like a bad country song.  I was about ready to stab myself with a branch of holly to put myself out of my own misery.  Everyone wanted to know how I was holding up, and wanted to tell me how much they hated Jacoby.  No matter how many times I expressed that he and I remained friends, they still looked at me with sympathy.

Addison George:
Of course I’ll be at yoga.  What’s up?

My eyes moved over his next words carefully.  

Jacoby Cross:
Not by text.  I need to talk to you in person, Red.

There was that name again.  Goose bumps formed over my skin.  I was both excited and frightened by what he could want to talk about.  The thought that maybe he wanted to get back together tickled the corner of my mind.  My heart whispered that his blatant use of my beloved nickname could possibly be a result of him having a change of heart.  My brain, on the other hand, scoffed at my heart for being naive.

I closed the app and flopped back in my chair, releasing an exasperated breath.  Pushing my fingers through my hair, I rested my hands at the back of my head and stared up at the ceiling.  My brow furrowed as I contemplated the urgency of his message.  

Was my heart really being naive?  I hadn’t seen or spoken to Jacoby in over two weeks due to the holidays.  A lot could happen in that timeframe.  

Ugh!  What was I thinking?  You can’t turn being gay off and on like a light bulb.  It’s a part of who you are, just like being straight.  Besides, Jacoby and Eddie were happy.  Even I had to admit they made the perfect couple.  And that’s saying a lot since I was the one who got dumped in order for this perfect couple to emerge.  My brain was right.  I was being foolish.  Jacoby probably wanted to talk to me about my dating situation, or lack thereof.  That was all he and Amber seemed to care about lately, anyway.  

Since our breakup, I’d done what was expected of me.  I drowned myself in booze, cigarettes, rocky road ice cream, and depressing light rock.  After I spent months wallowing in my own self-pity, I dusted myself off and rejoined all the other single women in the ranks of dating.  

At first it was fun, but after awhile it wasn’t.  I quickly discovered there were three types of men my age in the dating scene.  One I had experience with—the absolutely fabulous gay guy.  Then there was the perfect in every way guy, but the moment I showed any real independence, they tucked tail and ran.  You’d think they’d want an equal partner, but no.  They only wanted arm candy.  Bastards.  

But the worst of them all were the sorry losers who only wanted me to be their sugar mama.  They’d start out as great guys, but once they discovered that I was successful and had made my own small fortune, they would stop being perfect gentlemen.  Before long, I was paying for everything.  I might be over thirty, but there was no way I was funding some deadbeat’s lifestyle.  

One guy actually had the audacity to ask me to pay his bills for him even though we’d only been dating for a month.  After laughing hysterically in his face, I showed him the door and told him to lose my number.  I do believe I included a tidbit about the fact if I were to pay for anything, it would be to get him a penis enlargement.

Penises.

Dicks.

Sex.

Jacoby pounding me hard and fast against the wall, to the point I was digging my nails into his back, screaming for my release.

Dammit!

To add insult to injury, I was horny as hell.  It’d been quite some time since I’d dated one of my series of losers, and Peppy—yes, I named my vibrator—just wasn’t hackin’ it anymore.  There’s only so much a long, plastic dong that gyrates can do for a girl.  After a while, a woman needs to feel the warmth of a man hovering over her, buried deep inside her, causing stars to explode before her eyes.

It goes without reason as to why my two friends would worry about me, I guess.  It had been a year, and here I was imagining Jacoby fucking me senseless.

I blinked my eyes a few times, sighed, and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my desk.  My boss droned on and on about profit projections and loss forecasts.  I heard him, but I wasn’t paying attention.  All I could think was,
there’s no way that Jacoby could want to talk about us getting back together.

He’s gay!
I reminded myself.

Or was he?  Maybe his venture out of the closet was nothing more than a phase, like how college girls have lesbian experiences.  I chuckled at the silly thought.  That was nothing more than a fool’s dream.

I growled and dropped my head into my hands.  This was so frustrating.  Four o’clock couldn’t get here fast enough.  

But what if he did want to get back together?  I was in a good place in my life.  Sure, I was a bit celibate at the moment, but everything was on track.

“Addison?  Addison, are you still there?”

The sound of my name pulled me from the recesses of my imagination.  I looked down at the speaker with what I assumed was a great rendition of a deer in the headlights look.  It was a good thing that he couldn’t see me.  “Uh, um, yes, sir.  I’m here.”

“Oh, good.  I thought I’d lost you.  Do you have any questions?” Mr. Buck asked.

I glanced at the doodles of oversized penises on my legal pad and shook my head as if the man on the other end of the phone line could actually see me.  Thank God he couldn’t.

“No, sir,” I answered, a note of hesitation in my voice.  “I think I’ve got everything I need.”

“Fantastic.  I look forward to seeing your progress.”

“Thank you, sir,” I responded, drawing spurts of cum shooting from a rather large, veiny dick head.

Not long after that the call ended, and once again, I was left alone in my office, lost in my thoughts.  It was pointless.  I wasn’t going to get any work done, and yet I still had over an hour to go before I could leave to meet Jacoby.

Since I had nothing better to do, or at least that’s what I told myself, I grabbed my cell phone and swiped the screen to bring it back to life.  My finger hovered over the messaging app for a moment, but I forewent the torture of reading that thread of texts any further.  Instead, I clicked on the internet browser app I’d minimized when those gut wrenching texts began.  

The image of Sebastian Hawk exploded across my screen.  “Well, hello there,” I cooed at the phone, feeling heat rise under my skin.  I shifted in my chair and got comfortable.  

No!  Not that comfortable! I might need to get laid, but I wasn’t desperate enough to
double click my mouse
at work. Although, Sebastian was definitely masturbation material, and Peppy enjoyed a round or two thanks to that man.

In the picture, Sebastian raked his longs fingers through his pale, blond hair.  His bangs fell with a careless wisp over his brow.  Seafoam blue eyes sparkled with mischief, and a seductive smile quirked his sensual lips.  A slate gray suit sheathed his broad shoulders, leaving everything to the imagination, but making it impossible not to drool.  While this man’s demeanor oozed with sex appeal, there was more to him than his dashing, good looks or his eloquent words.  Don’t ask me how I knew this, because every answer he gave in the interview that accompanied the photos was very much scripted, but somehow I could feel it.  

Scanning the article, I realized nearly every question was about
Indulgence
, the erotic masquerade ball that was supposed to happen tonight.  Sadness gripped my chest as I thought about how I’d completed that packet Amber’d given me all those months back, but never had the balls to send it in.  

As promised, Amber harped at me to mail the paperwork.  Her arguments were rather persuasive, and several times I was almost convinced to give in.  I really had nothing to lose.  I wasn’t in a serious relationship.  Masks were required, so no faces were ever seen.  We weren’t even required to give real names if we didn’t want to.  As long as the contract holder had our pseudo name, we could be anyone we wanted to be for the night.  Yet, no matter how much I tried to convince myself to go, I just couldn’t.  My instinct refused to get past how
Eyes Wide Shut
this thing felt.  When I explained that notion to Amber, she merely laughed.  But I was serious.  I didn’t want a bunch of rich fucks pawing all over me.  

It didn’t matter, though.  The deadline came and went, and I never submitted my paperwork.  Not for lack of curiosity, but why would I go if I couldn’t meet Sebastian?  It felt trivial to me, because he was the only person I was keen on screwing at such an extravagant event.  Since the party was tonight, it was pointless to even think about it further.  I could still dream about fucking Sebastian, though.

The corner of my mouth twitched as my fantasy morphed from Jacoby fucking me against the wall to Sebastian taking me over my desk.  

“I bet you don’t need a penis enlargement, do ya?” I purred to my phone screen.  Hoping to prove myself right, I glanced down at his crotch, only to be thwarted by his suit jacket.    

I didn’t allow that to stop me.  My imagination gave him a sizable dick made just for fucking me.

For the next hour, I remained lost in my daydreams.  Jacoby fucking me.  Sebastian fucking me.  Jacoby and Sebastian fucking me together.  Hey, Jacoby was gay.  It was the perfect scenario for me.  While my heart told me that none of these events would ever come true, my brain laughed because that was the fun of fantasy.  It was merely that.  A fantasy.

When it was time to leave, I changed into my workout clothes, thankful that I packed my cute yoga gear for today, even though they were not suitable for the current icy conditions.  Wearing something sexy always made me feel empowered.  

And though my brain still screamed for me not to be stupid, my heart was determined that even the slightest chance that Jacoby wanted me back was worth the potential heartache.  With my mind and heart at war, I set out for my rendezvous with destiny.