Authors: Elizabeth Forkey
The Tunnel
Of
Love
As prepared as I
thought I was for this, it's super scary. Rosa and Thomas look up at me,
confused about the loud noise but unaware of what it means.
Thomas can tell
something is wrong and he yells, "What is it Ivy?"
Thomas's house
is close to the fence and the alarms are deafening. I have to yell back,
"It's an attack! We have to get out of here!"
I run to the
window to see what's going on outside. No one in sight out there, no infected
and no
Living
either. I have to get the kids out of
here and to the tunnel. Turning back to face Thomas in his wheelchair, I'm not
sure how I'll do it.
Then suddenly
Matt is there. I can't believe how I feel when I see him stride confidently
into Thomas' room. I'm instantly calmer. He's here now. He cares for Thomas
and, for some reason, he cares for me. He is here and nothing can hurt us. I
feel safer with him because he's one of them. I know we don't believe in
hurting them or fighting them. And I totally agree with that. I don't want to
hurt anyone. But is it bad that I feel safer with Matt because I know he would
stop at nothing to make sure we're ok?
Matt goes
straight to Thomas. He hasn't seen him since he carried him bloody and dying
into the compound. He wraps him tenderly in a hug made awkward by the
wheelchair. I can see both relief and guilt on his face. Will he ever forgive
himself for letting Thomas get hurt? And can he keep us safer this time? There
are even more of us. We can't live in the tunnel. Where can we go to be safe?
"What's
happening?" I ask him over the scream of the sirens.
"We have to
hurry," he shouts. "They came in on the other side. I did some
scouting last night and you were right. They are here for you. Everyone has
your picture and Pravda is promising a lifetime of happiness for whoever brings
you to them alive."
Hearing him say
"a lifetime of happiness" plants a seed of doubt in the pit of my
gut. I can't help but wonder if I can trust this boy that I've been falling
for. He doesn't believe. He doesn't follow the path of righteousness. He is one
of the most attractive men left of their kind. Surely he could have anyone he
wanted. I'm not naive enough to think that he loves me and that love is enough.
What is to keep him from turning me in? Buying freedom for Thomas? That's his
greatest desire isn't it?
To live his life with his little
brother in safety.
He walks towards me and I shrink back a little,
overwhelmed with my precarious predicament. There are hundreds of zombies
hunting me out there. He holds his hands up in front of himself to show me he's
not trying to touch me or take me. He comes close to me and looks into my eyes.
Like pulsing emerald stones his magical eyes cast their spell. I relax in his
closeness and take a deep steady breath.
He leans close
to my ear, his cheek against mine, and says, "I'm going to keep you safe.
I know I told you not to trust anyone, but you CAN trust me." His breath
against my ear is intoxicating. He puts an arm behind me and pulls me even
closer to his lips. His arms are comforting, but different than Tim's. They
feel tense like iron even though he holds me gently. His lips brush my cheek as
he promises, "I hate Pravda and everything they stand for. They are my
enemy as much as they are yours. I promise to get you out of here. Will you
come with me?"
I love him for
asking me nicely and not trying to boss me. I nod that I will go with him. I
had no idea he hated Pravda that much and I want to know why.
Our mutual enemy?
No
time to give heed
to these new questions—right now, we have to run.
"I'm all
ready," I say grabbing my bag. Rosa is standing near me, surprisingly
calm, and as always, ready to follow me anywhere.
Thomas on the
other hand is not ready. He's in a wheelchair, no shoes on, no bag packed,
wounds that need constant care, and medicines that I don't know how to find.
Matt pulls the blankets off of Thomas' bed and throws a pair of pants on the
bottom sheet. I see what he's doing and hurry to help. I go quickly through
Thomas' dresser and find the
Steeler's
sweatshirt and
the
Steeler's
jersey right next to each other. No
time to worry about embarrassing Thomas, I find his underwear drawer and throw
a few pairs on the bed.
Leaving
Matt to pull the rest together, I go to the kitchen with Rosa in my arms. Ellen
told me where to find the Tylenol and I'm desperately hoping to find his other
meds there, too. I grab the painkiller and two other bottles sitting with it
and tuck them in my bag. Back in Thomas' room, I find Matt lacing up Thomas'
shoes for him. I don't even know if Thomas is up to walking. Matt has grabbed
the four corners of the sheet and tied them up, making a sack of Thomas'
things. One more
glance
around the room to make sure
there isn't anything else we should take. I'm sure there are a lot of things he
will wish we had grabbed for
him,
such is our
occasionally rotten life.
We
have to get to the tunnel before the mob makes
it's
way over to this side of the compound. Throwing
the sack on Thomas' lap, Matt wheels him out of the room. Thomas is asking for
Jose and Ellen as we hurry from the house.
Neither Matt or
I say anything. There is little chance that we'll ever see them again.
The
tunnel entrance is only a short distance from Thomas' house—if you go through
yards. Wheel chairs aren't ideal for yards, ditches and low laying shrubs.
Thomas winces in pain over every jolt. Matt's face is grim as he hurries us
over the shortest distance, hating how much he is hurting his Tom. But fear of
worse injury
drives
him
forward.
The
sirens are screaming and it feels like my eardrums might burst. Outside of the
house and this close to the fence, the volume is maddening—driving all other
thoughts out of my head. I can't think. I just want relief from the
panic-inducing, repetitious blaring. As we dart past a clearing, I see the
North gate about two blocks away. For the first time since the fence was put up
it is hanging open and unprotected.
But there isn't an
infected soul to be seen anywhere on the other side.
They truly are all
on the other side of the compound.
Searching for me.
Killing
my friends.
The
mind bending siren, the panic and pressing fears, all of this has kept me from
processing what's really happening—until now. Tim.
Harmony
and Sherry.
Rev.
Depold
. Mr. Terrell. Dr.
Markowitz. Dr.
Talmurf
.
Jose and
Ellen.
Frank and Jean
Hosch
.
They may all die because of me. Agony hits my soul with so much force that I
stumble and my legs buckle. My eyes are an ocean and the watery blindness
brings my panicked getaway to a full stop. If I went back now could I save
anyone? Would the onslaught cease when they found me? I know I won't be able to
live with myself if I don't try. But then Rosa is pulling on me. I blink the
tears away and look into her young, innocent face. She understands who we're
running from. She has been running longer than I have. I can't let them kill
her. Would Matt take her for me? Protect her?
Matt
has reached the tunnel. He looks up to see me across the yard standing still.
Our eyes meet and he knows what I want. Somehow he knows. He angrily shakes his
head "no". Leaving Thomas in his chair near the hole in the ground,
Matt runs back towards me glaring and yelling over the siren's screams. I can
only make out every other word in the minuscule pauses between the steady beats
of the blaring noise.
"You——save
them——
vy
!" he yells, "——too late! Please——,
I need——. Tom ——Rosa need y——. Stay——me! Help me!" He's run close enough
for me to make out most of his words. "I can't get Tom through the tunnel
without you. Save us!" he screams. "You can't save them!"
He
points away towards the rest of town and I follow his finger. The sky is full
of black smoke. They are burning the town down. I pray for God to forgive me as
I hurry to help Matt with Thomas.
Matt goes down
first and I toss down all of our things. Then I gently ease Thomas out of the
wheel chair and help him sit on the edge of the hole. He grimaces in pain but
doesn't cry or complain. I hold under his good arm and half
lift,
half push him into the opening. Matt catches him at the bottom and Thomas cries
out in pain. I try to hand the wheelchair down to Matt but it won't fit in the
hole. It takes me several moments of tears and frustration to finally fold it
and shove it down to Matt. I lift Rosa down next and finally jump in myself.
Matt climbs back up the ladder and pulls
the heavy piece of
wood over the opening sealing us in noisy darkness.
Thomas is
crying. Rosa is crying. I'm crying. All the people we've lost swim before my
tear filled eyes. The world is broken and wrong. Everyone we know may be dead.
They will wake to the sweet peace of eternity. We are still stuck here in Hell.
Matt doesn't
give us long to cry. He lifts Thomas into the wheel chair and grabs the sheet
full of belongings. I pick up Rosa and carry our bag, trying to follow close
behind Matt. The wheelchair barely fits through the tunnel. Matt has to crouch
behind it and push it through with laborious, back-breaking shoves. The pipe we
traverse is completely round with no flat surface for the wheels. It's a slow
process, slogging our way through the dark. My feet keep stumbling, despite how
many times they've traveled the pipe, because I feel dead inside and
disconnected.
When
we get to the other end of the tunnel, Matt says we should rest for awhile
before trying to lift Tom and the wheelchair up into the shelter of the little
house. I don't even know how we'll do it after we rest. Thomas must weigh
around 100 pounds. If Matt goes up the ladder and leans down for him, he'll
have to grab him by his arms which will definitely reopen Thomas' wounds.
If we haven't reopened them already.
I don't have the
strength to lift him even half way up. We may have to stay down here in the rat
filled tunnel for days. I'm so despondent, I can't muster any hope that Matt
can come up with a solution.
God Gives Me More
We
sit for a long time. The siren is muffled on our far end of the tunnel but it
still rattles my soul. Matt goes up into the house and brings down blankets and
Gov. Bars. The kids eat and, after we make them a soft spot on the ground with
blankets, they fall asleep together. I marvel again at how unique Thomas is.
Rosa is a shy little girl, untrusting of most everyone. But there she
lays
, cuddled close to Thomas not long after meeting him. To
know him is to know sweetness and innocence.
Matt
sighs as he sits down next to me and searches in the dark for my hand. His
touch gives me comfort and lifts me a few degrees out of my despair. I find God
there, just waiting for me to think of Him,
siting
quietly in my spirit until I'm ready to talk. I don't really pray or form any
requests in my head, I just let him give me the peace and comfort He offers. I
know He has a plan and I hope I haven't messed it up too badly. Am I supposed
to be here?
Matt
caresses my hand with his thumb and I feel the attraction stir again. I feel
guilty for having feelings right now. I wonder wryly if this counts as our
third date. After all, we did walk through the tunnel again. I think it's safe
to say I have bad taste in men.
After
what feels like hours sitting in the dark, neither of us speaking, new sounds
start to echo down the tunnel. Something big is coming towards us. I'm scared
that
it's
rats and more scared that it's not. Matt
shushes me and climbs over me, putting
himself
between
me and whatever is noisily approaching. A soft sound like someone crying
carries to where I sit. Then I hear Harmony quietly call my name.
"Matt,
it's Harmony!" I jump up and hit my head on the pipe and in the blind
darkness,
bright colorful lights fill my vision. Matt
catches me as I stumble and sits me down gently.
"I'll
get her," he says, brushing my forehead with his lips.
Several
feet down the pipe I hear Harmony demand in a quavering voice, "Where is
Ivy! Do you have her?"
"I'm
here," I call.
She
stifles a sob and follows the sound of my voice until she stumbles on me. I
feel her thin arms around me and I hurt for her as I feel her whole body shake
with silent sobs against me.
"They're
all gone!" she wails in the darkness and her voice echoes down the
tunnels.
"Ivy,
she has to be quiet!" Matt insists.
I
shush her and hug her tightly.
"Did
you re-cover the hole?" Matt asks impatiently. I wish he could be a little
more sensitive. She's been through so much in the last 24 hours. She's fragile
and this is too much for her.
I
feel her shake her head "no" on my shoulder and I purse my lips. I
know Matt is going to be mad.
"She
couldn't have reached Matt; and she wouldn't have been strong enough if she
could reach."
"I'll
be back," he says flatly.
I
know Harmony wasn't part of his plan. He had a hard enough job getting me, Rosa
and Tom to somewhere safe. Adding delicate, terrified Harmony to the list of
his charges is not what he wanted.
When
Matt comes back from recovering the hole he is quiet. I can tell, even in the
dark, that he's angry.
"Who
did you tell!" he finally demands, his tone full of hate and disgust.
"What
are you talking about?" I bristle.
"Not
you, her," he accuses. "She told someone. There were people calling
for you up above. Very near the tunnel."
"Who?"
I ask excited and hopeful that some of our members still
Live
.
"We have to go help them!"
"No."
"What
do you mean,
'No'.
Of course we have to! They'll be
killed if we don't!"
"And
we'll be killed if we do. First of all, if any escaped it was intentional. Pravda
hasn't found you and they'll follow those poor bastards right to us. She's put
us in way more danger than you realize. Second of all, suppose we let some of
them down here? You think they're going to let you and Tom go with me? You
think they will follow me and elect me their new leader?"
My
silence answers him.
"No.
They won't. We'll be lucky to not be found now. I pulled some brush over the
wood cover. It's getting
dark,
I don't think anyone
will find the tunnel tonight. But you can bet Pravda will have people scouring
every inch of ground when they don't find you tonight. We can't stay here
long."
"I'm
sorry, Ivy." Harmony whispers.
"There's
nothing to be sorry for!" I assure her quietly. "I'm so glad you're
safe. I wouldn't change it for the world."
I
remember the look in her eyes when she sat back up, dead and then suddenly
alive again. There is a plan here. God is orchestrating something big. I'm
comforted every time I think of how He leads and directs me. I hope I'm in His
plan now. I hope I've followed wisdom and not my fears or my hormones. I think
I'm supposed to be here now, but if I'm wrong then I'm probably guilty of the
murder of a lot of Saints.
"What
if my mom got away? What if she's up there? We have to go see who it is
Ivy!"
"How
many people did you tell," I ask her gently.
"Everyone,"
she says softly.
"What
does that mean, 'everyone'?" Matt asks, still furious.
"I
went to the meeting. Everyone did. They were trying to decide if they should
move the whole community somewhere else. I stood up to testify that we were
unsafe. I told them about following you and about the tunnel. They sent Captain
Markowitz and me out of the meeting so I could show him where it was. We were
walking to the tunnel when the alarms went off. He left me." I feel her
shiver in my arms and I picture her out in the streets alone with the blaring
alarms. In the dark, I can visualize the terror that must have been on her
face. "He told me to go home and he ran back towards the U.R. I went home
like he said, and I saw it all out my window. They surrounded the U.R. and
brought everyone out. They were searching through the crowd for someone
and—"her voice catches, "they killed almost everyone."
She's
talking in a whisper but I hear every word in the
echoey
tunnel. I feel like I was there with her because I can see it all happening.
She tells the story, but it might as well be my own memory. I've been dwelling
on my own imagined images since abandoning my friends and climbing down in this
hole to hide like a coward.
"Then
they set the U.R. on fire and the Inn."
I
choke back a sob. The Inn, my life with Aunty, is burning out there.
Being wiped from the earth as though those sweet years never
happened.
"I
saw them split up in groups and start out towards the other buildings. I knew
they'd find me, so I went out the back and ran here. I didn't know where else
to go."
We
cry together and eventually my tears run out. She continues to shake and
sniffle in my arms. After a few minutes of listening to her cry, I suddenly
know what to do. The idea gives me sudden hope and strength.
"Matt,
you can go get a car."
"Where
am I going to get a car, Ivy?" he spits the words, still angry.
I
don't like being talked to like that but I'm going to ignore it for now.
"We
have cars in the compound.
Working cars, full of gas.
I can tell you where they're kept and where we keep the keys. They won't
suspect you. You can walk right in and take one!"
He
silently considers this and begrudgingly admits my brilliance.
"Ok,
it could work. Where are they?"
I
smile with satisfaction in the dark.
"Your favorite
place.
They are in the lower garage level of the old police station. The
keys are in the office right down the hall from the cell where Captain
Markowitz kept you."