Irreparable (Wounded Souls) (12 page)

“He told me that I needed to stop blaming myself, that the guys wouldn’t want that for me, and
that he doesn’t want that for me.”  I look down at my hands and she grabs them, which makes me feel stronger.  “He told me
that I was a hero for what I did, but damn it, Sam. How can I be a hero when the guys that
I was supposed to protect ended up six feet under?”  I look down as the tears roll down my face
. I’ve tried to hold them in and I can’t do it right now. Luckily for me, Sam doesn’t say a word. She squeezes my hands and
then pulls me into her arms and just lets me cry. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to a wonderful smell, bacon. Who in the hell doesn’t love bacon? I get up, pull on my black boxer briefs and my prosthetics
and then trek down the hall to the kitchen.  Sam is standing in the kitchen in her black tank top and hot pink boyshorts that make her ass look phenomenal.  I
stand there and watch for a minute as she dances around the kitchen listening to
Tough
by Kelli Pickler
. 

She has the spoon in her hand like a microphone and is singing and jumping around. She
stops in her tracks when she spots me.  “Oh babe, don’t stop I was really enjoying the show.  Think I could have a private showing in the bedroom
?
” I point to the tent in my pants and she laughs and comes and kisses me. 

“Nope, you have just enough time to eat breakfast before we hit the road.” She smiles and I look at her confused.

“The road? What are we doing? Going running?” I look at her as she puts my food down in front of me. I immediately
dig into the scrambled eggs. 

“No. We are going to a three year old’s birthday party.” She smiles and busts out laughing when I spew egg all over the counter. She’d better be glad I wasn’t eating my bacon or I’d be pissed.

“Really?” I look at her, thinking she’s making it up.

“We have a deal Mr. Devil.” She looks at me and holds out her hand for me to shake. I shake on it, and wonder if I am really going to be able to keep my end of the deal. We eat the rest of our breakfast and then get dressed. I’ll tell you this, seeing a hot blonde standing near an unmade bed with just a lace bra and panties makes it hard to control your body. Finally,
she is fully dressed and we are heading out the door. 

Tuscaloosa here we come.

Three and a half long hours of riding in the car listening to all kinds of horrible music that Sam listens to and we are finally here. Sam has gotten quiet,
even after we listened to the Backstreet Boys for a whole hour on the way here.  We pull up to
a white house on the corner and see all the cars surrounding it. I can tell that
Sam is nervous and I suppose she has every right to be.  The house has white columns and green shutters and it looks like something out of a magazine. 

I can see one of the reasons
why Sam decided these people deserved the miracle she brought to them.  She gets out of my
Mustang and grabs the present we stopped to get a few miles back. She takes a deep breath and starts towards the house. I walk beside her and grab her hand, she squeezes and then drops it. I’ve got a feeling that
this isn’t going to turn out well.  I
t’s hard to explain it, it’s kind of like the feeling I got before the bomb detonated. It’s the feeling of dread. I’m hoping I’m just nervous for Sam. I want this to go well for her.

We walk to the house and knock on the door. An older man with a beer gut and balding, gray hair answers.
  “Hey Mr. Eli, how are you doing?” Sam says and the man scoops her up in a hug. 

“Well, I’ll be! Sam, I was worried we’d never see hide nor hair from you ever again! W
hat in heaven’s name is that in your hair?”  She smiles and tugs at
her sleeves.
 
S
he hid her tattoos because she was worried what they would think. 

“Well it’s purple streaks Mr. Eli. I like them.” She smiles and he laughs.

“They suit you kid. Who’s this young man you got with you?” He looks over at me and I shake his hand.

“My name is Jameson Carter.” I smile and the man goes pale. What the hell is up with everyone doing that?
  Out of the corner of my eye I see Sam shake her head sharply and the man nods.  What the hell?

“You two come on in. It’s nice to meet you son.” The man steps back and looks at me again. He’s almost acting
like he’s seen a ghost.  We w
alk into the house, and then I’m the one seeing a fucking ghost.

“Matt?” I stare at the guy. This cannot be happening. I grab Sam and then walk over to the man I see standing there in front of me. “Matt?” I ask again and the guy finally looks at me
.  He’s
not M
att.  His jaw isn’t as defined, and
he has green eyes where Matts’ were
brown. 

“No, I’m sorry. My name is Declan. Sam! You came.” She smiles and steps around me to give him a hug. OH shit. Declan
is Matt’s brother.  He’s here with
Heather. Then I see her; Kate steps into the house and I just stare.

“You knew?” I breathe to Sam and she lets out a sigh. 

“I assumed. I didn’t know for sure.”
I gasp when I see a kid about two years old walking by the door, the spitting image of Matt, and I know who it is. 

“I need to sit down, now,” I tell Sam and the old man that let us in pulls up a chair.

“Who is this Sam?” Declan asks.
Kate is still beautiful but I can tell she’s lost weight, something she didn’t need to do.  I need to get out of here. 

The old man grabs my shoulder and leans down. “It’s alright. Just take a deep breath. You’re
in shock son, but we ain’t gonna bite ya.”  I breathe in and out and then meet Sam’s eyes, and she winces.  Yeah,
she knows what to expect when we get in that car.
  I look up when I hear someone say my name. 

“Carter?” Kate walks up and stares, waiting for me to say something, but I can’t look at her.

“Jameson.” I hear Sam behind me and finally I look up. This shit cannot be happening, not twice in a week. I have avoided this for a year and I am not ready for this, especially not with Jackson’s family here. They are
the one family whose kid should have been saved. 

“I, I need to go,” I say and rush for the door but Kate comes after me. Why does it have to be Kate of all people?
 

“Carter!” she yells at me and I stop and turn to face her. She walks right up to me and jabs her finger into my chest. Damn,
no wonder Matt liked her.  “You wait a god damned minute
. Why haven’t you returned my calls? We needed you; we were a family! YOU
were his family! 
But you disappeared
.  The
last I had heard was that you were in the hospital.” She’s still poking me and I let her, the pain is a welcome distraction from knowing that Sam has betrayed me. She led me into the lion’s den. I thought she didn’t make deals with the devil. She was right because you can’t make deals with yourself.

“Jameson Carter! Are you even listening to me?” Kate slaps my face and I growl.

“Damn it Kate!” I let out a sigh and she breaks down. 

“I lost him, and then you,
too.  Blake couldn’t find you,
Mary-Beth said you broke up and didn’t much like her anymore.
  I know we only met at basic but damn it Jameson, you were like a brother to all of us.
” I look at Kate and I grab her and pull her to me.

“I’m sorry Kate, I just,” I stop myself and take a shaky breath and continue. “I couldn’t look at you because
I let you down.  He should be here with you today, not me.”  She looks up at me and sniffles
as she holds my arms
. 

“Jameson, God took him yes, but I was given something great. I see him every day in Matthew; I still have a piece of him. You, well God knew you needed to help out sweet Sam. Or at least I assume that’s why you’re here.
”  She puts her hand on my cheek and smiles. 

“You were left because your time wasn’t destined to be up. Now don’t be mad at her for making you face your fears, because she’s facing hers today, too.” She kisses my cheek and turns to walk back into the house. “And, Jameson?” She turns to face me and I raise an eyebrow. “You’re still on my shit list. Your ass had
better not go off the grid again.” 
She walks into the house, and out walks Sam.

She sits down on the step of the front porch and looks at her feet. “I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t come. Jameson, I know I was selfish, but dammit I needed you with me. I wouldn’t have been able to come here, and I should have told you beforehand but I just couldn’t risk you not coming. We both needed this, and here we are.” I walk over and sit down beside her.
  I smile
because I know she’s right; we did both need this and I am grateful she led me here.

“I am so pissed at you, and you’re going to get yelled at a lot on that four hour drive back home, but you’re
right I needed this.  Now let’s go Devil.” I smirk and she looks at me questioningly and then laughs herself.  That’s one more thing I love about Samantha
; she always gets what I mean.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We walk into the backyard and Sam’s hand tightens on mine when a little girl comes running up to us.  She has on a pink dress that says
‘Birthday Girl,’
but even without her wearing that I know who she is.  She has Sam’s small button nose, her steel grey
blue
eyes and her full lips, but her hair is dark brown and in ringlets.  “Hi, you must be Ms. Sam?  My momma told me about you, she said you was pretty.” She smiles at Sam, and I squeeze her hand as I see her tear up. 

“I am Sam, and this is Jameson. H
e was a friend of your Uncle Matt’s.” Sam smiles at Isabella and then at Heather and Declan.  This is nice, seeing Sam finally starting to heal, getting to see that she did indeed protect Isabella, and to see that no harm can come from her parents.

“Wanna come jump in da bouncy house wif
me Sam?”  Isabella asks and grabs Sam’s hand.  Sam smiles at me and goes
with Isabella.

“You two have done so much in all of our families’ lives.” I turn to see Declan standing beside me and I wince a little. “Samantha gave my wife something she could never have, and you; well you gave my father, sister in law and me peace
. 
Peace in knowing that my baby brother had a person who cared for him just as much as we did. I know you don’t believe it.
I see it in your face, but we don’t hate you.  How could we?  Matt loved you
; he talked about you all the time. If the roles were reversed,
I think you’d want him to be happy.”  What is this?  Is there a record broken somewhere in my head? Déjà vu times two?  God what did I do to deserve this?

“I want to say thank you for everything you did for this country Jameson, because I of all people know that freedom is never free.” Declan places his hand on my shoulder, pats it and before I can say a word he nods and walks away. He leaves me standing there, thinking about what he said while
watching Sam bounce and laugh with Isabella.  At least one of us is going to heal from this experience. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After we watch Isabella open her presents and eat cake and ice cream,
it’s time to get back on the road.  I shake Declan and Mr. Eli’s hands and Kate snatches me up into a big hug.  “Don’t you dare be a stranger now
.
  Y
ou may not think it now, but everything and I mean EVERYTHING happens for a reason.” She meets my eyes and smiles. How can they all make it look so easy? She lost her best friend, her husband, and the father of her child, and she is standing here smiling.

“I know what’s going through that mind of yours Jameson and it’s not. It’s hard every day, I see him every day, and that’s why it’s not as hard. But it still hurts like hell.”
She smiles and puts her hand on my arm then walks away.  Heather hugs Sam and tells her thank you and to come back whenever.  Sam and I get into my
Mustang and start the trek back to small town Louisiana.