“Good to know.” She introduced the Buchanans to her parents.
After they’d chatted a few minutes, her mother excused herself. “I’m going to go pick up Zoe. Mrs. Ford called me earlier and said she was fine. Still, I want to see for myself.” She hesitated. “You don’t mind, do you? You’re going to be in the hospital overnight so I thought…” Her voice trailed off.
“I don’t mind,” Elissa told her. “I’m glad you’re going to take care of her. I know she’ll be safe with you.”
“Of course she will be. She’s your daughter, Elissa. I would give up my life for her.”
“Oh, Mom.”
Elissa felt tears on her cheeks. Suddenly she and her parents were hugging. She opened her eyes and saw Dani sniffing and both Cal and Reid clearing their throats.
“Where’s Walker?” she asked.
Reid shrugged. “He said he had a couple of things to do, but that he would be back. He said not to worry.”
She didn’t know what that meant, but she smiled and nodded as if she did. She didn’t want anyone to know how much she missed him and wished he was with her. He’d saved her and Zoe. That should be enough.
But it wasn’t.
W
ALKER WAITED
until the police officer in the emergency room had stepped out to grab some coffee and then he moved into Neil’s room.
Neil lay on the bed, his eyes closed. Two IVs connected to a single line that fed into his arm. Walker moved next to the bed and bent down so his face was close to Neil’s ear. Then he placed one hand on Neil’s chest and the other over the man’s mouth.
“How you feeling?” he asked, pressing against Neil’s nose just enough to let him know that breathing was a privilege, not a right. “Coming down from that shit yet? Is your skin crawling or do you still feel good?”
Neil opened his eyes wide. Panic tightened his face and his breathing increased, but he was smart enough not to struggle.
“I’m going to make this real simple,” Walker said quietly. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Personally, I’m in favor of the hard way. Nod if you understand.”
Neil nodded.
“Is there any doubt in your mind that I could kill you if I wanted?”
Neil shook his head frantically.
“You want to live?”
Neil nodded.
“I’m going to send somebody in to see you. He’s a lawyer. A real expensive guy in a fancy suit who knows all about the law. He’s going to give you some papers to sign and you’re going to sign them. Do you understand?”
Neil nodded again.
“Good. Once the police release you, hopefully after some serious jail time, you’re going to leave Seattle and never come back. You’re going to leave Elissa and Zoe alone. You’ll never contact them again in any way. Is that clear?”
Neil nodded again.
“Just in case you think you can get out of our deal, I’ll remind you that prison is a scary place. You’re kinda skinny, Neil. Some big guy could make your life there real unpleasant. And I know plenty of big guys. You got that?”
Neil nodded so hard, he nearly banged his chin against his chest.
“I thought you’d see things my way,” Walker told him as he straightened, released Neil and left the room.
A
FTER EVERYONE HAD GONE
and Elissa got her pain medication, she drifted in and out of consciousness for a few hours. When she finally woke up, she saw a very dapper-looking man sitting beside her bed.
“Do I know you?” she asked groggily.
“We haven’t been formally introduced. I’m Jeremy Fitzwalter,” he said in a faintly British accent. “Walker Buchanan retained my firm to help you with your problem with Zoe’s father. I stopped by to give you some paperwork.”
He handed her a folder and smiled. “I think you’ll like what’s inside.”
She looked from him to the folder. She remembered talking to Walker about finding a better lawyer, but she hadn’t known he’d gone ahead with the plan. “I’m still a little out of it. Could you just tell me what it says?”
“Yes, of course. Under the circumstances, that makes the most sense.” He shrugged. “Zoe’s father has signed away all rights. He’s given up his rights of custody and visitation. In return, you will not seek him out for child support. He agrees not to contact you or Zoe, however if Zoe wishes to get in touch with him after she’s eighteen, that’s fine with him.”
Elissa rubbed her temple and wished her head didn’t feel quite so big. Her arm throbbed in time with her heartbeat and her stomach and chest felt as if they were one giant, pulsating bruise.
“Neil won’t be back,” she said, barely able to believe it. “You’re sure?”
“I’m positive. He has no hold over you anymore. He can never get custody of Zoe or even threaten to see her. He also asked me to tell you he apologizes for what happened. The drugs he took really messed him up.” Jeremy leaned closer. “You’re done with him, Ms. Towers. You’re free.”
Elissa wasn’t sure what to do with that information. She was still trying to figure out how it had all happened when her mother showed up with Zoe that evening.
“Mommy, Mommy, you have a cast!” Zoe ran over and touched the hardened plaster. “Does it hurt?”
“The cast doesn’t. My arm is a little sore. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want a hug.”
Her mother lifted Zoe onto the bed, where her five-year-old hugged her as if she would never let her go.
What a horrible experience for her daughter, Elissa thought. Would Zoe have nightmares from this? Should she take her to a counselor of some kind?
“How are you feeling?” she asked tentatively.
“Okay.” Zoe showed off a couple of her bruises. “But Mrs. Ford read me three stories and Grandma and me made cookies. We would have brought them, but Grandma says we should wait until you come home tomorrow. Only maybe we can stay with Grandma for a few days. Wouldn’t that be the best? I have princess sheets at Grandma’s house.”
“I remember,” Elissa said as she glanced at her mother.
Her mother shrugged. “You don’t have to come stay if you don’t want to. I just thought while you were adjusting…”
“It would be great, Mom,” Elissa assured her. “Really. Thank you. I didn’t know how I was going to cope with one arm in a cast and the pain and everything.”
“Good.”
Zoe shifted so she could lean against her mother’s unbroken arm. “Are you better, Mommy?”
“I will be. What about you? That man…” Elissa wasn’t sure what to say about Neil. “He won’t be back to bother us again.”
Zoe looked up at her. “It’s okay, Mommy. I know he’s not my daddy.”
Elissa held in a groan. How was she supposed to explain the complexities of her and Zoe’s relationship to Neil?
“Actually, honey,” she started, then stopped. There weren’t any words, she thought.
Zoe smiled at her. “That bad man isn’t my daddy because he doesn’t love me. Loving a little girl is what makes a daddy. Walker’s my daddy now.”
Elissa glanced at her mother, who raised her eyebrows.
All yours,
she mouthed.
If the pain hadn’t been so bad, Elissa might have found the situation funny. Instead she felt herself wanting to cry.
“Zoe, Walker is a really good man,” Elissa said. “He’s—”
“My daddy,” her daughter said firmly. “I know he is. He told me and daddies don’t lie.”
T
HE APARTMENT BUILDING
was in the University district, typical for the area. The fall quarter would be starting in a few days and already students’ cars lined the street.
Walker parked behind a beat-up truck and set his alarm before walking to the third floor of the building and knocking on the door marked 16.
The second the woman opened the door, he knew she was the one. He’d nearly forgotten that night in Kabul when Ben had gotten drunk and talked about Ashley’s hair being the color of a sunset. But now, staring at the auburn-colored strands, he remembered.
“Ashley?” he asked, wanting to hope, but not there yet.
“Yes,” she said, drawing out the word. “Do I know you?”
“I’m a friend of Ben’s.” He held out the picture he always carried. “Did you know him?”
“Ben?” She smiled and took the picture. “Sure. Wow, I haven’t talked to him in a while. Almost, what, a year? Sorry, I’m a little brain-dead. I was in the library all night. I’m working on a final draft of my dissertation, which is a mess. But yeah, I know him.”
Walker felt his pulse increase. “You went out, right?”
Ashley’s smile widened. “A few times. He was great. A lot of fun. He went into the Marines. We wrote a few times, but then we kind of stopped.”
They’d stopped? Because…“You weren’t in love with him?”
“What?” She took a step back. “No. I mean I liked him, but nothing really happened between us. I don’t even remember if we kissed. Why are you asking me this? Has Ben been saying stuff about me?”
Walker felt the heaviness of defeat rest on his shoulders. He’d tried so damn hard, only to fail right at the end.
“Ben thought you were great,” he said quietly. “He told me you were one in a million.”
“Yeah. Where is he now?”
“He didn’t make it back. He died a few months ago.”
“I’m sorry,” she said sincerely, but without any pain. “You were a friend of his?”
Walker nodded. “I was looking for his family.”
“Oh, right. I don’t know anything about them. He never said anything. I’m sorry. I wish I could help.”
“You have helped,” he told her. “Thanks for your time.”
He turned and walked down the stairs. He was done. He’d found Ben’s Ashley and he’d still come away with nothing.
E
LISSA HAD TO WAIT UNTIL
almost nine to see Walker. He finally walked into her hospital room shortly before the end of visiting hours.
She’d just been given another shot for the pain, so the edges of her day were starting to blur. She’d talked to Zoe before her daughter had gone to bed, then had chatted with her mother. Leslie had promised several days of rest punctuated only by large amounts of her favorite foods.
Despite the broken arm and the bruises, Elissa felt cared for and safe for the first time in a long time. The only tiny cloud on the horizon had been Walker’s absence, and now he was here. He looked tired and mussed, but she could live with that.
“I’m sorry I’m late,” he said as he approached her and took her uninjured hand. “I had some things to do. How are you feeling?”
“Better.”
What to say to this man? How could she thank him for all he’d done for her?
“You saved our lives,” she told him. “Thank you doesn’t come close.”
“It’s enough.”
She thought about what he’d said to Zoe. Had her daughter misunderstood?
He released her, pulled a worn envelope from his pocket and turned it over in his hands. “I found her.”
With her brain fuzzy, it took her a second to figure out what he meant. “Ashley? You found Ben’s Ashley.”
He nodded.
The fact that he still had the letter made her chest tighten. “What happened?”
“I shouldn’t have been surprised,” he said, not looking at her. “Ben was great, but geeky and not really the kind of guy women go for. He would have grown out of it and found someone who appreciated him but…” He shrugged.
Elissa’s heart began to ache. “She wasn’t in love with him.”
“No.” He stared at the letter. “All I wanted was for his family to know how great he was. I just wanted there to be one person who had loved him, who would miss him and know the world was a better place for him having been in it.”
Walker’s pain filled the room and pressed in on her until she found it difficult to breathe. It wasn’t the sort of ache that could be helped by a shot or a pill and she didn’t have the words to release him from his burden. Unless…
She took the envelope from him and opened it. She scanned the typed contents, then began to read.
“I met Ben the first day he landed in Afghanistan. If ever a new recruit had been out of place, it was him. But in less than a week, Ben was the guy everybody knew and everybody liked. He had the soul of a poet, but the heart of a warrior. He was the bravest man I’ve ever met.”
She read on as Walker’s words detailed Ben’s service and sacrifice.
“I know this is a time of grief, but I hope you’ll eventually be able to see past that to the hero he was. I’ll never forget him. He will always be a part of me, just like he’s a part of you. He made me proud to be a soldier and a Marine. He made me proud to be an American.”
She wiped away her tears and folded the letter. “You can stop looking, Walker. Not because there isn’t anyone, but because
you’re
Ben’s family. You always have been. The person you’ve looking for…is you.”
He stared at her for a long time. Then he bent over and gently gathered her against him as he shook with emotion.
“I miss him,” he said, his voice gruff. “Every day.”
“Then he’s not really gone. He lives in you and through you. He lives in me and everyone else you tell about him.”
Walker heard her words and knew she spoke the truth about all of it. He
was
Ben’s family. In a way he’d always known that, but he resisted it because he’d wanted Ben to have more. Someone not so flawed and broken.
“I should have—”
She reached up and pressed her fingers to his mouth. “No. No
should haves,
no blaming, no guilt. He was your friend and you loved him. You will mourn him. No one can ask for more.”
For the first time in more than a decade, peace settled over him. He felt the loss of Ben, just as he felt the loss of Charlotte. He’d made mistakes, but he’d loved them both. And they’d loved him.
“We’re not perfect,” Elissa was saying. “No one is. We have to learn to accept our faults and move on.”
She was so damn serious,
he thought as he bent down and kissed her. He liked that about her. Her serious side and her laughter. How she made jewelry and loved her daughter and took care of Mrs. Ford and stayed strong.
“I love you,” he said.
She stared at him. “What? I had a whole speech prepared.”
He smiled. “About what?”
“I can’t remember now. You love me?”
“Totally. And Zoe.”