“I meant what I said,” he told her. “I don’t judge you. Or anyone.”
“But I—”
He leaned forward and set his drink on the coffee table between them. “You what? Partied? Slept with some guys? Elissa, I’ve killed people. Sure, it was in the line of duty and it was my job and it probably saved lives, but they’re still dead. Some of them deserved it, but some were just kids pretending to be soldiers. Some weren’t supposed to die. Not on either side.”
She thought about what he’d told her before. “Are you talking about your friend Ben?”
He shrugged. “He took a bullet for me. It all happened so fast. I don’t know how they got in the cave. That shouldn’t have happened. But they did and he died to save me. He was a kid. Some skinny kid from Seattle. He wasn’t even a good Marine. But damn, did he have heart. He didn’t have anyone but me and the Marines and now he’s gone.”
She felt his pain as if it were her own. She felt his emptiness and knew these ghosts were the ones to cause him to cry out in his sleep.
“Walker, you didn’t do anything wrong,” she whispered as she put down her drink and moved toward him. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, she only knew he needed comfort.
But as she approached, he rose and suddenly she was in his arms, his hands on her back, his mouth on hers.
Everything happened so quickly, she didn’t have time to think. Which was all right because the feel of his lips on hers made it impossible to form thoughts.
His kiss was firm and confident without being demanding. She felt the heat of him, and his strength. He moved his mouth against hers, discovering, arousing, making her strain toward him in an attempt to convince him that more was a really good idea.
She pressed against him, liking how his muscles provided a warm resting place for her body. While he rubbed his fingers against her back, she explored his shoulders and upper arms.
She felt the first brush of his tongue on her lower lip and parted for him. When he slipped inside she felt heat pour through her. Body parts melted. Her thighs and stomach tightened, while her knees nearly gave way. Her breasts swelled.
Wanting swept through her. Need, and hunger. It had been so long, the sensations were almost unfamiliar—but still very, very welcome.
He tasted of wine and sex and promise. When he drew back, she whimpered, but then he kissed her jaw and the side of her neck. His lips traced the line from her ear to her shoulder. He pushed her hair aside and nibbled on the back of her neck.
Liquid desire washed away any lingering resolve she might have mustered. She was more than willing to take things to the next level. Make that the next fifteen levels. She wanted them both naked, clinging, touching, riding each other until they were too exhausted to ever do it again.
She opened her mouth to tell him so when he stepped back.
“Sorry,” he said. “This was not in your game plan.”
Screw the game plan.
Had she been able to speak, she would have told him just that. But she was too stunned by her incredible response to him to do more than breathe.
“Even if you were interested,” he continued, “I’m the wrong guy. You and Zoe need someone who’s going to stick around. That’s not me.”
“You’re moving?” she managed to ask, her voice thick and unsteady.
“Not this week. I meant in general. I’m not a good bet.”
“Why not?”
“I saw too many guys get dumped while overseas. Love is fleeting at best.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that.”
“You seen any different?”
My parents.
Except she didn’t say that aloud. Were her parents even still together?
“I’m not looking for forever,” she said. “I just find it interesting that someone as caring as you isn’t looking for more.”
“You think I’m caring?”
She managed a smile. “Did I just violate the male code by saying that? Should I take it back?”
“I’m a real bastard, Elissa. You need to understand that.”
She almost giggled. Right. A real bastard who took Mrs. Ford to the hospital and spent time with her daughter while Zoe showed off her new school clothes.
“Bad to the bone,” she said. “I got it.”
He narrowed his gaze. “I’m not kidding.”
“I know. You’re practically evil.”
“Are you making fun of me?”
“Maybe. A little. Gonna get me now?”
“You should respect what I’m telling you. I’m not a good bet.”
She sighed. “Actually, I do believe that.”
Not because of anything he’d said, but because of her own past. He might not be bad, but she was a walking, breathing disaster when it came to men. Neil was proof of that.
“So we’ll just be friends,” he said. “Pretend this never happened.”
“Of course,” she said, knowing she was lying. She planned to relive that kiss every night for the next month. But repeating it in person? Not likely. Fool me once and all that.
He slipped his hand against the back of her neck and drew her to him. “You’re a real temptation. You know that?”
She was painfully normal. Average height, average looks, average body, with the added thrill of a couple of stretch marks. A temptation? Who was he kidding?
But there was a heat in his gaze. A fire that thrilled her as much as it made her want him more.
“And how do you feel about temptation?” she asked.
“I walk away.”
D
ANI SIPPED
the hot coffee and stared across at the view of Lake Union. She was due at the restaurant in an hour, but until then she planned to enjoy the perfect summer morning.
It was just after ten, when those who had regular jobs had disappeared into their offices and the lunch crowd had yet to fill the sidewalks.
The Waterfront should do lunch, she thought. The location was good. With some minor modifications, a lot of their dinner menu could be cut down or translated into salads and sandwiches. They could…
“
So
not my problem,” she said aloud, to remind herself she wasn’t technically a Buchanan anymore. She didn’t give a damn if the restaurant made a profit or not, just as long as it stayed in business until Penny returned from maternity leave and Dani could find another job.
Or maybe she should do something more, she thought. Like go find her father.
Who was he? She had no idea how to begin the search. Gloria had long ago gotten rid of all Dani’s mother’s things. Could there be papers of some kind? A diary?
The only person who would know for sure was the one person Dani didn’t want to talk to—Gloria.
“What has you looking so serious?”
She turned and saw Ryan standing next to her.
“Hi,” she said, both surprised and delighted to see him. “What are you doing here?”
“Getting coffee. It’s my morning spot. And you?”
She held up her drink. “Getting a slow start on my day. Do you really come here every morning?”
He glanced at the front of the Daily Grind. “Sure. It’s on my way to the restaurant. Why?”
“My brother Cal owns the chain. When he started, he and his partners opened three places at once. This is one of them.”
Ryan chuckled. “So I spend my life in service to the Buchanan empire.”
“Four restaurants isn’t exactly an empire,” Dani said. “Although Cal’s business would qualify. They’re expanding back East.” She lowered her voice. “Apparently they’re going to have to offer more coffee choices that aren’t as strong. I guess we scare them with too much intensity.”
“Wimps,” he said.
She laughed. “One of the new East Coast reps said we all have our taste in our feet.”
Ryan grinned, then his humor faded. He put his hand on her arm. “I was sorry to hear about your grandmother. Are you all right? Is there anything I can do?”
“I’m all right,” she said, not seeing any point in getting into her current maelstrom of feelings. Gloria wasn’t her grandmother. The woman had made her life a living hell for years. And all that time, Dani had done her best to make the old woman happy. Until she’d learned the truth, she’d never been able to figure out why she kept failing. But even after all that, she couldn’t help feeling bad about what had happened and how Gloria was going to have to face her recovery pretty much on her own.
“How are you liking the restaurant?” she asked, not wanting to talk about Gloria anymore. “All settled in?”
He shook his head. “That’s going to take a while. The place is great. Talk about busy. When the orders get going, that kitchen is crazy. How do you keep it straight?”
“Sometimes I don’t,” she admitted. “If you think it’s insane now, wait until Penny gets back. Edouard is a good chef, but he doesn’t challenge himself the same way. Penny liked to test herself on the specials.”
“Everyone talks about how great she is,” Ryan told her. “I’m looking forward to working with her.”
His blond hair looked gold in the bright morning sun. It was perfectly cut, maybe a tiny bit too long, which only made her want to touch the layered strands more. He was good-looking without being pretty, funny, smart and possibly interested in her. Did life get any better?
Okay, her divorce wasn’t final, but wasn’t she entitled to a rebound guy? Someone who would take her mind off her lying, cheating bastard of a husband and show her a good time? Wasn’t it the law?
“Penny’s the best,” Dani said. “I’m glad she’s my sister-in-law again.”
“Again?”
“She and Cal were married before. Things didn’t work out between them for a lot of reasons. But when Cal hired Penny to bring The Waterfront back from the brink, they were thrown together a lot. One thing led to another and now they’re married again.”
“With a baby on the way,” he added.
Dani nodded, not bothering to explain Cal wasn’t the father. It was yet another Buchanan complication and she saw no point in scaring off her potential boy toy.
She giggled.
Boy toy?
What would Ryan think of the title?
“Okay, you’re always doing that,” he said. “You laugh at something and only you know the reason.”
“Sorry. I guess I find myself entertaining.”
“You make me laugh,” he said.
Was it her imagination or had he just moved a little closer?
Before she could decide, he glanced at his watch. “Tell you what—we have a good hour before we have to be at the restaurant. Let’s walk around the city some. You can show me your favorite sights and I’ll be impressed.”
A shiver of pleasure rippled through her. “Sounds like a plan.” She glanced around to get her bearings, then pointed. “Let’s go that way. I’ll take you to the big downtown Nordstrom store. I know what you’re thinking. It’s just another department store. But you’d be wrong. It’s an amazing place.”
She held her coffee in one hand while her other hung free. Without warning, Ryan captured it in his.
“You have no idea what I’m thinking, Dani. None at all.”
He laced his fingers with hers and squeezed slightly.
Okay then, she thought, barely able to breathe from the shock of a strange man holding her hand after a good ten years of being with Hugh.
He was right—she didn’t know what he was thinking. But she had to admit, she kind of liked it.
E
LISSA WAITED
until her shift was over to knock on Frank’s open office door. He looked up and waved her in.
“Hey, Elissa. How’s it going? How’s Zoe? She excited about starting school?” The man was in his fifties, overweight and genuinely nice. She knew she’d gotten lucky when she’d found this job.
“Very. Every night we discuss what she’s going to wear the first week and it constantly changes.” She smiled. “I met her teacher and she seems great. So we’re happy.”
“Good. Good.” He waved to the chair in front of his big, paper-covered desk. “What can I do you for? You have plenty of vacation time racked up. Want to use some?”
“Not just yet.” Not only couldn’t she afford to go anywhere right now, she always liked to keep plenty of vacation time in the bank in case of emergency. One serious bout of the flu for either her or Zoe could use up her sick leave and she liked having a buffer.
“I know you’re not here about money,” Frank joked. “You’ve never once asked me for an advance.”
She fidgeted, wishing she did want a loan, or something equally easy to discuss. “No, it’s not money. I just…” She pleated her apron between her fingers. “You know I like working here, Frank. It’s been great, these past three years. The money is terrific, I love the hours and you offer the best benefits in town.”
Frank groaned. “Elissa, no. You can’t. Come on, honey, don’t leave. You’re one of my best people. I can depend on you, the customers love you. Who’s trying to steal you away?”
“What?” She shook her head, although it was nice to know he wouldn’t want to lose her. “No, I’m not quitting. Not at all. I want to stay. I love my job.”
He frowned. “Then what’s this all about?”
“I, ah…” She cleared her throat. “Do you know Gloria Buchanan?”
Frank sighed heavily and leaned back in his squeaky wooden chair. “Oh, yeah. Old, rich, pain in the ass, if you’ll excuse my French.”
Elissa felt an instant and overpowering sense of relief. “You don’t like her?”
Frank shrugged. “I don’t know her. She’s on a lot of the same charity committees I’m on, although she’s always in charge. Has to be. I hate working with her, because it’s her way or a big fight. I swear, she could wear down a rock. I stay quiet and do my bit.” He looked at Elissa. “How do you know her?”
“I don’t, but I know her grandson. He lives in my building. We’re just friends, but somehow Gloria found out and came to see me.”
“I’ll bet that wasn’t pretty,” Frank grumbled. “What did she do?”
“Made some vague threats.” They hadn’t been vague, but suddenly Elissa didn’t feel much like explaining them.
But Frank was a bright guy. “She use my name? Did she threaten you with—” He swore under his breath. “Let me guess. The old bitch doesn’t think you’re the right type for her precious grandson? She said she could get you fired.”
“Something like that.”
“Elissa, that would never happen, no matter who came to me. I judge my people on what I see here, every day. You know that, right?”
She nodded, feeling more foolish by the second. “I know. I shouldn’t have let her get to me. I just got scared.”
“Who wouldn’t? Gloria Buchanan is not a nice person. You stay clear of her.”
As Gloria was currently in the hospital recovering from a heart attack, that wasn’t going to be difficult.
“Thanks, Frank,” she said as she stood. “I appreciate you talking to me.”
“Anytime. You have a problem, you come to me. Nobody gets to my girls.”
She smiled and left. But as she walked into the back room and crossed to her locker, her smile faded. How could she have been so stupid? How could she have let one mean old woman frighten her so much? Why hadn’t she thought things through instead of running?
It was her past, she acknowledged. Those first couple of years after she’d had Zoe had been awful. She’d had to work while caring for a baby and paying for day care. She’d always been one step away from disaster. She’d learned to lie low. Apparently the scars from that time hadn’t completely faded. And that, combined with Neil’s ongoing threats, had a way of making her jump to conclusions.
No more, she told herself. She wasn’t going to let anyone run her life. Next time a rich old woman threatened her, she would stand her ground.
A fairly safe promise, she thought as she got her purse and her car keys out of her locker. How many other rich old women were going to bother with her?
Still, she felt better for having made the decision. And for knowing her job was safe. As she headed toward her car, she had the urge to talk to Walker and tell him what had happened. She wanted to share her relief—and, okay, she wanted to hear his voice.
It was the kiss, she was forced to admit. It had changed everything. Not only had she experienced passion for the first time in over five years, she’d done so with a man she trusted.
How long had it been since she’d felt that for any guy? Not that it mattered. Even if she was willing to break her “no sex for thirteen more years” rule, Walker wasn’t. He’d made it clear that he wasn’t willing to take things to the next level.
Better for them both, she thought, then sighed. Lying to herself was never a good sign.
W
ALKER ENTERED
Gloria’s office at seven in the morning. He’d put off going in for three days, but he no longer had a choice. He’d agreed to take responsibility for Buchanan Enterprises and he would. Hating every minute of it didn’t count.
He stepped off the executive floor and headed for his grandmother’s office. The hallway was quiet and dark, which made him want to look for snipers. He ignored the urge and kept moving.
Apparently he was the first to arrive. Or so he thought until he rounded the corner and saw a small, dark-haired woman putting her purse into the bottom drawer of her desk.
She looked up when she saw him and offered a smile that made her look both uncomfortable and afraid.
“Mr. Buchanan,” she said. “Good morning. I’m Vicki, one of your grandmother’s assistants. We spoke on the phone a couple of days ago. Let me again say how sorry we all are to hear about what happened. Our prayers are with Mrs. Buchanan through her recovery.”
The speech was really nice, but it would have been a whole lot more meaningful if she’d been able to say it without looking as if she would bolt at any second.
“Thank you,” he told her. “The family appreciates everyone’s concern.”
She nodded. “Would you like me to show you around the floor? Or would you prefer to see the office? There’s coffee, of course. Kit sets it up on a timer every evening before she leaves.”
“Kit is my grandmother’s other assistant?”
“Yes, Kit works from two in the afternoon until midnight. We trade off our weekends and there are two other executive assistants who have the training to take over if one of us has to be gone.”
She reminded him of a nervous dog. He would swear he could see her trembling as she spoke.
“Let’s take things slowly,” he said, his voice as calm as he could make it. “I’ll need to see my grandmother’s calendar for the next couple of weeks. Also, if you could let me know about monthly and quarterly meetings that might be coming up.”
“Of course.” She pulled a small pad out of her skirt pocket and wrote quickly. “Is ten minutes sufficient? I could work faster.”
“How about any time before nine this morning?”
Vicki blinked at him. “But that’s a two-hour window.”
“I know.”
“All right. Let me show you the office, then I’ll get your coffee.”
Walker had never been an officer, so he’d never been in a position to have someone bring him anything. He could only imagine what would have happened if he’d asked.
“Why don’t you show me where the coffee is and I’ll get it myself?”
“But you can’t,” she breathed. “Mr. Buchanan—”
“Walker,” he said. “Call me Walker. I don’t know how my grandmother ran things, Vicki. To be honest, I don’t know much about the company. I’m here to keep things from falling apart until she gets better. So you’re going to have to be patient with me.”
“Of course,” she said, looking terrified. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t being critical.”
She was like a wounded wild animal, ready to run for cover. It made him tired just to be here.
“You weren’t critical. You offered to get me coffee. There’s a difference. Now let’s go see where I can get my caffeine fix for the next hour.”