Still, she couldn’t help wanting to scream her frustration. She’d only moved back that morning, taking a quick break between breakfast and lunch to move her stuff back from Mindy’s house. Zoe had been in the house less than five hours before she’d invited Walker in.
Her daughter had told her all about his visit. How he’d admired her new clothes and shoes and had told her she was pretty. Even if Elissa managed to inoculate herself against his casual charm, Zoe was falling hard and fast.
Under normal circumstances, that would have been enough reason for worry, but with the threat of job loss or eviction hanging over her head, the pressure was really on.
Mindy thought Elissa should come clean, just tell him what had happened and get his take on things. It was sound advice, rational even. But what if he didn’t believe her? Walker might claim a troubled relationship with his grandmother, but Gloria Buchanan was family. When push came to shove, Elissa knew who he would side with. He hadn’t known Elissa long enough to trust her. If Gloria denied everything, then Elissa was totally screwed and right now she didn’t need the pressure.
Still, she had to do something. While Mindy’s offer of moving in with her had been sweet, it was impossible. She, Elissa, could stay away from Walker, but how did she explain to her daughter not to talk to their nice neighbor anymore?
“I hate this,” Elissa muttered. “I hate all of it.” The fear, the uncertainty, the pressure of having other people control her life.
The phone rang. Elissa hesitated. Was it Walker? He’d already left a message saying he wanted to talk. What was she supposed to say to him? The truth? Some form of it? Nothing?
She chose to be cowardly and let the machine pick up. But a familiar “Hey, babe” had her lunging for the receiver before Zoe heard any more of the caller’s message.
“Hello,” she gasped.
“Elissa. You’re there.”
She clutched the phone as tightly as she could and turned her back to the living room. “How did you get this number, Neil?”
He laughed. “I have my ways, babe. You know that. Long time, no talk. How’s it going?”
How was it going? Her life was a disaster. Hearing from him was the last thing she needed. “I don’t have any money.”
Neil sighed heavily. “You always say that, but you manage to find some anyway. The thing is, Elissa, this is different. I want to get clean.”
She rolled her eyes. How many times had she heard that before? “Good for you.”
“It’s for the music. I can’t write anymore. Not with this shit screwing up my head. So I’m going into rehab. I thought I’d come see you first, though.”
Fear clutched her chest and dug in sharp, heavy claws. “I don’t want to see you. Don’t come here.”
“You can’t stop me, babe. I don’t say that to threaten you, but because it’s true.”
Then why did it feel like a threat?
“How’s the kid?” he asked when she didn’t respond. “Don’t forget, she’s mine, too. I’ve been real good about letting you keep her, but that could all change, Elissa.”
She wanted to scream. When she’d found out she was pregnant, Neil had insisted she get an abortion. She’d refused, he’d beaten the crap out of her, then gone out to party. She’d escaped, taking only what she could carry.
“Stop calling, Neil,” she said quietly. “There’s no money and you’ll never get my child. No court would ever allow you to even see her. You’ve never cared and you don’t care now.”
She hung up, then quickly put the receiver on the table so he couldn’t call back.
They’d played this scenario out countless times before. Sometimes he made good on his threat and showed up in Seattle, and sometimes he didn’t. She never knew which it was going to be. All she knew for sure was that he would never get his hands on Zoe. She would do anything to protect her daughter. She would run. She would disappear. She would even kill Neil if she had to.
W
ALKER STRODE
into his grandmother’s office. He’d always hated the white-on-white decor. Even as a child, he felt the place was cold and hungry. Like a giant white moth, waiting to swallow the unwary.
“Walker,” Gloria Buchanan said as she rose from behind her large gilded desk. “How lovely to see you. I was going to make an appointment for you to stop by and here you are, all on your own.”
She smiled welcomingly and held out her arms, as if expecting them to embrace. He kept his distance.
Her smile never wavered. “I wanted to talk about you joining the company. Now that you’ve finally realized you never belonged in the Marines, you can take your place here. There’s so much work to be done. Our most recent president quit. I don’t understand what it is about businessmen today. None of them have any staying power.” She sighed as she led the way to the sofas in the corner. “I’m getting older, Walker. I won’t be able to run things forever.”
He continued to stand in the center of the room. She perched on the edge of the sofa and raised her thin eyebrows.
“You’re not going to join me?”
“No,” he said flatly. “I’m not here to have a polite conversation.”
“If we’re going to talk about your future—”
“We’re not,” he said, interrupting. “I have no future here. I don’t give a damn about you or the restaurants. There’s nothing you can say or do to get me to work here for thirty seconds.”
She looked more bored than intimidated. “You’re being dramatic.”
He ignored that. “I’m not here because of my future. I’m here because of Elissa.”
Gloria didn’t pretend not to know what he was talking about. Instead she stood and glared at him. “I don’t know what that little bitch has been saying—”
“Nothing,” he said, cutting her off. “I haven’t spoken to her. I’m here to talk to you.”
He walked toward the sofa until he stood in front of his grandmother. “You’re going to tell me exactly what you said and how you threatened her. Every single word.”
He had to give the old bat points—she didn’t flinch. “I will not speak with you looming over me. I am not a new recruit, Walker. You can’t frighten me.”
Which was a shame, he thought. She could use a good shaking up.
He took a step back and folded his arms across his chest. “What did you say to her?”
Gloria sank back onto the sofa and leaned against the white cushions. Her pale yellow suit provided the only spot of color in the room.
“I agree that she’s pretty,” Gloria said. “In a common sort of way. I would have thought she’d look harder, what with her background.”
Walker knew his grandmother well enough to guess she’d gone digging into Elissa’s past. She knew so much about her grandchildren, he’d long ago decided that she had them followed. Which would explain how she found out about Elissa.
He didn’t bother telling Gloria that there wasn’t anything about his neighbor that could shock him. He’d been to war—what could Elissa have done to come close to his sins?
“She traveled with rock bands,” Gloria said with relish. “Apparently she slept with various men to get jobs, or just because. I wasn’t clear on that. Her child’s father is a known drug addict whom she supports.” She stood. “Her own parents have refused to have anything to do with her for years. Is that what you want? A drug-using groupie and her bastard daughter?”
He smiled. “That’s the best you could do? I expected a lot more. So she slept around when she was young? I know who she is now.”
“You see what you want to see. Do you have any idea what your money would do for her? How it would change her life?”
He did. The problem was Elissa wasn’t interested in handouts. He would bet she never had been.
“She’s a whore,” Gloria insisted. “You’ve never had to pay for a woman before, Walker. Why start now?”
He felt no anger, only coldness. If she’d been someone else, if she’d shown any human feeling, he might have pitied her. As it was, he could only walk away.
But first…
He shook his head. “You blew it, Gloria. I was never interested in Elissa. Not in any way that was a threat to you. But you’ve played your hand. You’ve gotten into her life and screwed around. Now I have to make it right. That means spending more time with her. You should have left well enough alone.”
She stiffened. “I forbid you to see that woman.”
“You think I care? You haven’t been able to order me around for a long time. You forget—you don’t scare me.”
“You will listen to me. You will…”
She opened her mouth and gave a small gasp. Her hand rose to her throat, then fell away. Without warning she dropped to the ground.
Walker was at her side in an instant. Even as he rolled her onto her back to check her breathing, he pressed his fingers against her neck to feel for a pulse.
There wasn’t one.
C
AL AND
P
ENNY WERE
the last to arrive at the hospital. Cal kept pace with his very slow-moving wife. Walker eyed Penny’s belly and had a feeling that she was even bigger than the last time he’d seen her, which he hadn’t thought possible. Wasn’t there a point beyond which a woman’s stomach simply couldn’t expand?
Everyone embraced, then Cal helped Penny into one of the chairs in the waiting room.
“What happened?” he asked when she was settled.
“We were arguing and she collapsed,” Walker said flatly. He’d already told Reid and Dani the story. “There was nothing dramatic. No chest clutching. She gasped and fell. She wasn’t breathing, so I called 911, then started CPR. She was breathing on her own by the time the ambulance arrived. My guess is she had a heart attack.”
“Who knew she had a heart?” Dani muttered.
Walker wasn’t surprised that no one complained about her comment. Each of them had a complicated relationship with Gloria. On the one hand, she had done nothing to endear herself to her relatives. On the other, she was an old woman who might still die.
Penny reached for Walker’s hand. “Are you all right?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I’m not the one who passed out.”
“I know, but you were with her. I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened. It could have been any one of us. We’ve all argued with her.”
“Countless times,” Cal added.
“I don’t feel guilty,” Walker said. “Just uncomfortable.” He hadn’t liked seeing her unconscious. He hadn’t liked doing CPR on her. “Our fight wasn’t heated enough to bring this on.”
“Good.” Penny squeezed his fingers, then released them. “I can almost feel sorry for her.”
Dani sprawled next to her on the sofa. “Why would you?”
“Because her entire family is gathered here and no one really loves her. We don’t wish her ill or want her to die, but no one is worried.”
“She brought it on herself,” Cal said. “She pushed each of us away, time after time.”
“I know. It’s just the duty card. I hate that.” She looked at her husband. “You really love me, right?”
Cal bent over and kissed Penny on the mouth. “You’re not allowed to doubt me.”
“I know and I don’t. Not really. It’s just all this and the hormones and my back hurts.”
Just then the doctor walked in. She was tall and thin, in her late forties. “The Buchanan clan?” she asked with a weary smile.
Cal stood and nodded. “That’s us. How is she?”
“The good news is your grandmother is very likely to have a full recovery. Your brother, the one who rode in with her…”
“That was me,” Walker said.
“Yes, of course. You were right. It was a heart attack. Not life threatening as such, but there was some damage. Still, with time, rest and medication, she should be able to resume something close to her normal life. However, there is a complication.”
The doctor paused and checked the chart she held. “Your grandmother isn’t a young woman. Unfortunately, when she fell, she broke her hip.”
Walker glanced at Reid, who shifted uncomfortably.
“That can’t be good,” Penny said.
“It’s not. The break is fairly bad. We’re going to have to operate to put things back in place. After that, she has a long road of physical therapy ahead of her. She will be here at least ten days. After that, a skilled nursing facility specializing in that sort of thing. Under normal circumstances, she could be there for months. However, if you wanted to provide home nursing care, she could be released in about four weeks.”
She tucked the chart under her arm. “I know this is a lot to take in. What’s important is that she survived the heart attack and there’s every reason for optimism. Let’s make an appointment for all of you to come see me in a couple of days and we can sort this all out.”
“Thanks, Doctor,” Cal said, offering his hand.
When she’d left, no one spoke. What was there to say?
“As the most neutral nonblood relative, I’ll go first,” Penny said. “There are two problems. Gloria and the company.”
“The company can run itself for a while,” Cal told her.
“The president just quit,” Walker said. “She told me before she passed out. So someone has to be in charge.”
Cal swore under his breath.
“There’s also the home health care issue,” Penny reminded them. “I don’t think Gloria is going to last very long in any kind of skilled nursing facility. You know how she is. They’re going to throw her out and then what?”
“As she pointed out to me so clearly just a few weeks ago,” Dani said, “she’s not my grandmother. So I’m not getting involved in her recovery or the company. I’m sorry to be difficult, but there it is.”
“No one blames you,” Walker told her. Gloria had gone out of her way to make sure Dani understood she would never be a part of the company or Gloria’s world. A difficult situation had been handled cruelly.
“I’ll take care of the home health care,” Reid said.
Everyone looked at him. He shrugged. “I hate her the least. It’s a few phone calls, some interviews. No big deal.”
“You’ll need more than one nurse,” Penny said. “She’ll need round-the-clock care at first.” She smiled. “Please actually
look
at their résumés rather than hiring them based on their bust size.”
Reid grinned. “Trust me.”
Penny groaned.
“Which leaves the company,” Dani said. She turned to Walker. “I love you to pieces, but you’re the only one without a job.”
He took a step back. “No way. I told her there was nothing she could say or do to get me to work for her.”
“Apparently you were wrong,” Cal said, sounding far too cheerful. “The good news is you won’t be working for her. Not technically.” His humor faded. “Seriously, it’s just for a few weeks. No one expects you to stay there permanently.”
Walker would rather go on an unarmed patrol through downtown Baghdad. “I don’t know the business world,” he said, trying not to sound desperate.
“Management is universal,” Cal told him.
Walker knew he was trapped. Who else was there?
“Just for a few weeks,” he said. “Don’t get any ideas about me taking over.”
“Agreed,” Cal said.
E
LISSA SMILED
at the bright young woman sitting across the desk. “Zoe is very excited to be starting kindergarten.”
“We’re happy to have her,” Julie Beamer said. “It sounds as if she already has a head start on a lot of what we’re going to cover this year. You said she knows her letters.”
“She recognizes all of them and can write most of them. We’re having a little trouble with
G.
She’s also reading very simple words.”
“Excellent.” Julie made a few notes on a pad. “I believe you mentioned Zoe’s father is dead?”
“That’s right,” Elissa said easily. As far as the world was concerned, Neil didn’t even exist. Despite his threats, she knew he wanted nothing to do with his child. For him, Zoe was little more than a means of extortion.
“We’re very much looking forward to having her in class. If you would tell her I can’t wait to meet her.”
“I will,” Elissa promised.
Elissa left the meeting and headed to her car. Her baby was starting school. She was both excited that Zoe was ready to take the next step in her young life and a little choked up to have her daughter growing up so quickly.
Had it been like this with her mother, she wondered, then wished she hadn’t. Thinking about her family only made her sad.
Her parents had never forgiven her for running away. While she tried to understand their anger, she couldn’t help wishing they’d loved her enough to let her be a part of their lives. She’d moved back to Seattle partly with the foolish hope they would run into each other. They hadn’t.
Sometimes Elissa thought she would try to speak with them again. But fear of another rejection always made her hold back.
When she got home, she found her daughter waiting impatiently on the porch.
“Did you see her?” Zoe asked as she raced toward the car. “Is she nice? Does she want to have me in her class? Are we going to have fun?”
Elissa caught her and swung her in the air. “Yes, yes and yes. Miss Beamer is very nice and smart and she’s very excited about how much you already know. You’re going to have a wonderful year.”
As she spoke, she found herself glancing up at Walker’s apartment. Of course he wasn’t there. After leaving her a single phone message, he hadn’t tried to get in touch with her. He showed up late and left early.
It shouldn’t matter. She’d made it clear she didn’t want anything to do with him, and he’d taken her at her word. Wasn’t that good news?
She tried to convince herself it was. The thing was, she’d thought he would at least want to know why. She’d thought her sudden disappearance might concern him. Obviously she’d been wrong. She’d read far too much into their conversations. She’d thought he’d been interested and he hadn’t been.
“Can we go look at my clothes?” Zoe asked. “Can we pick what I’m going to wear the first day? And the next day? And the next?”
“Of course.”
Elissa set her daughter down and took her hand. As they walked into the apartment, she felt an unfamiliar sense of emptiness. It took her a second to realize she was lonely for someone who was more than a friend.
She wasn’t looking to get married or for anything permanent, but every once in a while she thought it would be nice to have someone hanging around for a while. Someone to share things with. Someone to care.
S
HORTLY BEFORE NINE
on Friday evening, there was a knock on Elissa’s door. Her first thought was that the horrible old woman had returned. That somehow she’d found out how much Elissa missed Walker and she was back to exact her revenge.
Instead, when she stared out the peephole, she saw Walker standing there.
When she opened the door, her first instinct was to throw herself in his arms and demand to know where he’d been. Her second was to rip off her T-shirt in invitation. Instead she went for something a tiny bit more subtle and simply invited him in.
“You okay?” he asked as he closed the door behind him.
“Fine. And you?”
“Not bad.” He held out a bottle of red wine. “I thought we could talk.”
Not words she usually expected to hear from a man. “And you need to get me drunk first?” she asked.
He smiled. “I hadn’t planned to.”
Bummer.
She led the way into the kitchen and handed over the corkscrew. He made quick work of opening the bottle. She put glasses on the counter and he poured.
“So what is the topic of conversation?” she asked, before taking a sip of the very smooth wine. The flavor burst on her tongue without being overpowering. Must be nice to be able to afford something over three dollars a bottle.
“My grandmother.”
Determined not to react, Elissa led the way into the living room. “What about her?”
“I know she was here.”
“Okay.”
He glanced around the empty, quiet room. “Zoe in bed?”
“Yes, fast asleep. I just checked on her a few minutes ago.”
“Good.”
“Because…”
“Because I might be using some language not appropriate for a five-year-old.” He motioned to the sofa and sat across from her in a club chair.
She wasn’t sure why he was here. Was he planning to take his grandmother’s side or hers? “Walker, I don’t know what—”
“Gloria threatened you,” he said flatly. “I know the generalities, but not the specifics. Want to fill me in?”
“Not really.” When his steady gaze never wavered she added, “She obviously doesn’t want us involved. As we’re not, I don’t see a problem.”
“My grandmother isn’t a subtle woman. I’m guessing she threatened your job somehow, or even Zoe. Am I close?”
She shrugged.
Walker frowned, then leaned back in his chair. “Sorry,” he said. “I don’t like her. No one in my family does. She’s a manipulative bitch who will do anything to get her way.”
She relaxed a little. At least he hadn’t assumed she, Elissa, was in the wrong. “Okay, then. Yes. She threatened to get me fired and evicted if I didn’t get out of your life.”
He swore again. “I’m sorry. One day you were gone. I wish you’d told me what had happened.”
“It’s not your problem.”
“It happened because of me.”
“Maybe. I didn’t want to…”
“You weren’t sure whose side I’d be on,” he said. “I’m on yours. Don’t worry.”
“I wasn’t worried, exactly.”
“Of course not.” He smiled at her. “You don’t have to sweat it. She won’t bother you again.”
“Did she get back on her broom and return to the mother ship?”
“No. She’s in the hospital. She had a heart attack, fell and broke her hip.”
“Oh, God.”
Elissa didn’t know what to think, let alone say. Gloria had been horrible, but even so she wouldn’t have wished for something like this to happen.
“She’ll be all right,” he told her. “She’ll be in the hospital for a while, then at a place getting physical therapy.”
“Okay. I’m at a loss here.”
“Me, too. No one in my family expected this. My brother Reid is taking care of finding private duty nurses, while I’m going to be taking over the company.” He sipped his wine. “I’m not exactly executive material.”
“I’m not so sure about that. All you need is attitude and a suit.”
“Why do I think there’s more to it than that?” he asked wryly.
“Sure, if you want to make things complicated.” She clutched her glass and knew she was going to have to get to it eventually. “She mentioned you’re a part of the Buchanan restaurant chain.”
“There are four places. Not much of a chain.”
“Still. It’s a really different world. I’m sure she told you all about me and my past.”
“I don’t care, Elissa,” he said flatly. “You’d told me a lot yourself and I’m in no position to judge.”
Ha. As if she believed that. “I want to make it clear I never did drugs. I wasn’t interested. I know that’s not a huge moral mountain or anything, but it’s important to me. The other stuff, well, some of it is true.” Especially the part about Zoe’s father. How on earth could she have fallen for Neil?