Jamie Brown Is NOT Rich (10 page)

Authors: Adam Wallace

Tags: #Children's Books, #humor, #Children's eBooks, #Literature & Fiction

Then a shout cut us short.

Yep. It was the nasty Jefferson, and his mates were right there with him.

‘What on earth are you chaps doing? Gosh, it looks rather like you are playing some sort of peasant game.’

Nasty Jefferson seemed to be like the kingpin of the school. I noticed my new friends had gone quiet. Not me though. I grinned at him, my confidence returning after some street games.

‘Wanna play, Jefferson?’ I asked. ‘It’s good for what ails ya.’

‘Nothing
ails
me, peasant,’ he said.

‘Oh yeah? What about that carrot stuck up your butt?’

The other kids who’d been playing Bulldogs laughed.

‘Haw haw haw.’

Nasty Jefferson cut them off with a glare.

‘You chaps should know better than to fraternise with the help, and you should definitely know better than to guffaw at me. You know how powerful my father is.’

He kept going.

‘Mr Farcelly shall hear of this. The only physical activities allowed are croquet, golf, and rowing, and then only under strict supervision.’

I groaned and rolled my eyes.

‘Oh come on, Richie Rich, you aren’t seriously going to dob us in, are you?’

‘I most certainly am,’ he said. ‘Come on chaps, let us inform the Headmaster.’

And off they went, stepping in time with each other like some big nasty sucky spider. I turned back to the others, expecting the worst but seeing …

‘Never fear, old chap,’ said Eye of the Tiger Jefferson. ‘We shall back you up. That was by far the most fun we have ever had at this dreary old school.’

The others nodded and said, ‘Hear, hear.’ I don’t know why they said it twice, some sort of group stutter, I suppose. Still, I liked the support.

‘Thanks, Jefferson,’ I said.

‘Harmison,’ he said. ‘My name is Harmison.’

I smiled at him. Harmison. I could remember that. He was my first real new friend, after all.

NEW FRIEND NUMBER ONE!

‘JAMIE BROWN! Report to the office … NOW!’

The loudspeaker wasn’t my friend. I sighed and trudged off, hoping I didn’t get lost.

CHAPTER 11

MR FARCELLY

Mr Farcelly was the principal’s name. I wouldn’t forget it now. When he got angry, I noticed two things. First, he used his own name all the time. Second, two comb-over hairs would escape, and he had to keep on brushing them back into place.

‘Mr Farcelly is not happy with your first day, Jamie Brown,’ he said. ‘Mr Farcelly has better things to do. Mr Farcelly sees Jamie Brown’s uniform is a mess and has a hole in the knee.’

Okay, I made that last one up, but you get the idea.

‘Look at Jamie Brown’s uniform. It’s disgraceful. Mr Farcelly thinks Jamie Brown should pick up rubbish in the yard during lunch time.’

‘Jamie Brown is sad,’ I said. ‘Jamie Brown would rather play. Jamie Brown was just having some fun.’

‘Well, Jamie Brown will follow Mr Farcelly’s rules. Jamie Brown will have the fun Mr Farcelly prescribes.’

In other words, I thought …

‘Mr Farcelly’s school runs like a well-oiled machine only because Mr Farcelly is in charge. Mr Farcelly is a well-oiled machine. Does Jamie Brown understand?’

‘Jamie Brown does,’ I said.

TOP FIVE WEIRDEST
CONVERSATIONS
I’VE EVER HAD

1. This
one

2. This
one

3. This
one

4. This
one

5. The
time I … oh no … wait …

THIS ONE!

Jamie Brown hung his head, walked out of Mr Farcelly’s office, and went to class.

CHAPTER 12

A NEW FRIEND
… AND A NEW
ENEMY

I picked up rubbish at lunchtime. It was pretty easy. Seriously, there was less rubbish in the whole school than there was in the spare lot on Hovel Street … and less flies too!

The girl who spoke to me in class ran over and said hi.

‘Hi, Jefferson,’ I said.

‘Who’s Jefferson?’

I told her I was calling everyone Jefferson. Their names were just too confusing and everyone looked the same. She laughed and called me weird – fair call – and said her name was actually Dakota.

‘Well, new kid,’ she said, ‘good luck with the Jeffersons, you’ll need it. They won’t make things easy for you. They think they rule the school, and they hate new things.’

No kidding. She ran off to do a lunchtime dance class.

‘Seeya, Jefferson,’ she called, and then she was gone.

Dakota. I made sure to remember it.

NEW FRIEND NUMBER TWO!

Mr Farcelly came over at the end of lunch to check on me. I was still trying to remember Dakota’s name by repeating it over and over.

‘Has Jamie Brown learnt his lesson?’ he asked.

‘Yes, Dakota,’ I said.

Whoops!

‘Mr Farcelly! I mean, yes, Mr Farcelly!’

‘Hmmm,’ he said, which was a weird growl grumble sound, then he walked off and I was on my own again.

Until the hairy cleaner came over.

‘Picking up rubbish, huh?’ he asked.

Wow. Top obvious comment of the day?
THAT ONE!
I nodded. His voice didn’t sound all posh like the richies, it was more husky. Sort of like Batman.
OMG
! My school cleaner is Batman!

Anyway. All the rich kids said stuff as they passed us, putting him down. Some of them picked on me too, saying poor people stick together, things like that. He ignored them, so I did too. He took my rubbish bag off me and I went to class.

‘I’ll be seeing you, Jamie Brown,’ he said as I walked off. Woah! How did he know my name? I spun around, but he was walking off, twirling his mop, and as he passed Nasty Jefferson he mopped him right down his back.

The cleaner grunted like a caveman then walked off, whistling and twirling his mop.

I smiled. There was something about him that impressed me. Nasty Jefferson caught me staring.

‘Stop staring, peasant! You won’t last any longer than him. You’ll make a fool of yourself soon enough. I shall make sure of that!’

He walked off. There was
nothing
about
him
that impressed me.

The rest of the day passed quickly. I saw Dakota again in class (she waved and pulled a face at me … she’s funny!)

… and then the day was done and Dad was there to walk me home.

Dad had spent the day dropping invites for our housewarming party into people’s letterboxes. He figured it would be a good way to meet the locals, and that maybe some kids from school might come, too.

I gagged at the thought of Nasty Jefferson being in my house, but a party sounded like fun … sort of like an upmarket Hovel Street street party, and they were always awesome!

After we got home, I changed into comfy clothes, grabbed my bike, and went for a ride. It was really weird. After school on Hovel Street, kids would be everywhere. I’d learn with Mr Kravoski then play something – anything – with the triplets outside until it got dark.

Here, I saw through some windows, kids were inside playing on computers or watching TV. The streets were like a ghost town, but with no ghosts, which is good, because …

TOP FIVE THINGS I AM
SCARED OF

1. Ghosts