Jealousy (34 page)

“
Thanks, Nick.  I know you’re supposed to be impartial, but it’s nice to feel like I have someone in my corner for once.  I always feel like they’re ganging up on me, and I don’t stand a chance.”

Nick draped his arm around Kenny
’s shoulder.  “That’s what I’m here for, man.  There’s no more taking sides.  From now on, we play fair.”

#

As soon as Kenny walked through the front door, Justin averted his eyes and looked down at the table.  While Kenny looked at Justin with remorse and longing, Justin looked awkward and uncomfortable at Kenny’s presence.  Kenny wondered if Nick was wrong, and Justin wasn’t ready to talk yet.

Kenny waited, but Justin never lift
ed his head.

“
I don’t wanna fight anymore,” Kenny said, breaking the silence.

Justin left the table and went to Kenny. 
“I don’t wanna fight anymore, either.”

“
You can’t dictate to me, Justin.”

“
I know.  It’s just that . . . the idea of you being around that guy all the time drives me insane.  You’re mine.  I don’t want him near you.  I’m jealous.  I can’t help it.”

“
You have no reason to be jealous.”

“
I know, baby.”  Justin cupped Kenny’s face in his hands.  “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you.  Will you please find another gym?  For me?  Please?”

Justin was being so sweet and genuine.  Emotion bubble up in Kenny
’s throat.  “I’d do anything for you, honey.  All you had to do was ask.  Of course.”

“
Thank you.”

Kenny wrapped his arms around Justin
’s waist and rested his head on Justin’s chest.  “Don’t run out on me like that,” he said, softly.  “It makes me feel like you’re abandoning me.”

Justin caressed Kenny
’s cheek.  “I’m sorry.  I’d never abandon you.  I wanted to cool off, that’s all.  I promise I won’t do it again.  I’ll stay and talk things out from now on.  Rationally.  Not like a crazy jealous person.”

Kenny closed his eyes and hugged Justin tighter. 
“I’m sorry, too.”

“
Don’t be.  You didn’t do anything wrong.  It was all my fault.  I can be such a jerk sometimes.  I’m sorry.  You were being honest with me, and I wasn’t being very nice.  I see that now.”  Justin gently stroked the back of Kenny’s hair.  “I love you, baby.”

“
I love you, too.”  Kenny slowly looked up into Justin’s dark eyes.  Their lips met in a long, tender kiss and a single tear spilled from the corner of Kenny’s eye and down his cheek.

Chapter Seventy-Five:

Heather reached for another bottle of water from the fridge.  She didn
’t know why she was so thirsty lately. She didn’t feel well either. She was tired and lethargic and had a hard time staying awake for the last few days.  She assumed she was coming down with a cold or the flu, but she still hadn’t experienced a sore throat or any other symptoms.  She looked at the few remaining bottles of water on the shelf in the refrigerator.  “I almost drank this whole case of water already,” she said.  “I just bought it last week.”

“
That’s why you get up ten times a night to use the bathroom,” Nick replied.

“
I guess that’s why I’m so tired all the time.  Between running to the bathroom all night and my back, I haven’t been able to get a good night’s sleep.”

“
Your back?”

“
Yeah.”  She rubbed her lower back and cringed.  “It’s been bothering me.”

Without explanation, Kenny rushed toward her, pulled the back of her shirt up and pressed the palm of his hand against th
e left side of her lower back.

At first, she started to laugh, but then flinched sharply as soon as she felt the pressure of his hand. 
“OW! Kenny, what the . . .”  She stopped mid sentence.  Her kidney.  Something was wrong with her one and only kidney.  Her eyes grew large, round, fearful.  Her mouth bowed into a worried frown, and she turned around to look at Kenny.

“
Don’t get alarmed, honey.” Kenny patted her arm.  “It could be something as simple as an infection, but you need to see your nephrologist first thing tomorrow morning.  It can’t wait.”

#

Heather, along with the three most important men in her life, sat across from Dr. Lewellen.  Nick and Justin sat on either side of her and each held one of her hands.  She stared off into the distance and her chin quivered.  She burst into tears, threw her arms around Nick and sobbed on his shoulder.  Dr. Lewellen explained that her kidney had stopped functioning properly, and she would need to be on dialysis until a suitable donor was found.  She needed a transplant and the wait time was approximately two years.

Justin was remarkably calm as he placed a tender hand on her back. 
“It’s going to be OK, sweetie.”

She traded Nick
’s shoulder for Justin’s as soon as she felt his touch.  Her sobs were heavy, and she pulled on his neck with both of her hands.

“
I’m going to help you,” Justin said, in a calm, steady voice.  “I’m going to give you one of my kidneys.”

She stopped crying and looked at him. 
“What?”

“
We have the same blood type.  I checked when you had the accident.  Just in case.  We’re a match.”

“
Justin, no!”  Kenny cried out.  “I don’t want you to do it!  There’s too much of a risk!”

“
I can’t stand by and watch her suffer, Kenny, not when I know I can help her.”

“
Please listen to me,” Kenny said, “she’ll get a kidney.  I see transplants everyday at the hospital.”  His voice cracked, and he grabbed Justin’s arm with both of his hands.  “I’m afraid.  Something could happen to you.”

“
I know you’re scared, baby.”  Justin put his hand over Kenny’s.  “We’re all scared, but I can’t live without Heather.  I made this decision a long time ago.”

Kenny covered his eyes and rubbed his forehead.  His hands trembled, and he slowly looked up at Heather.  His bright green eyes seemed larger and darker.  He squatted at Heather
’s feet and held her hands.  “I’m so sorry, honey.  I didn’t mean to sound like I don’t want Justin to help you.  Of course, I do. I’m just scared of losing him.  I’m afraid of losing the both of you.”  He rested his forehead against her knees.  “I can’t believe this is happening.  I thought this was over.  I thought you were OK.”

“
Everything’s going to be alright, baby,” Justin told Kenny.  “Please try to understand that I have to do this.”

Nick had been quiet, but now he spoke up.
“No.  I’ll do it.  Can you test my blood right now,” he asked the doctor, “to see if I’m a match?”

Heather was in a trance.  She listened to them speak as if she observed their conversation, unseen, from behind a hidden glass.  She swallowed hard and finally found her voice. 
“No.  I don’t want either of you to do it.  I’ll wait on the list.”

“
Heather, you’re going to be my wife,” Nick said.  “We’re getting married in a few months.  We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.  You need a kidney.  I’m giving you mine.”

“
But Kenny said there’s a risk.  I don’t . . .”

“
All procedures carry risks,” the doctor interrupted them, “but I assure you, it’s minimal.  We’ll go over everything step by step.”  He tapped her chart on the desk.  “Let’s start by confirming that one of these gentlemen is a viable donor, and we’ll take it from there.”

Chapter Seventy-Six:

The unspoken fear and apprehension was
visibly apparent in the room.  They waited on edge and in silence in Dr. Lewellen’s office for the results of the blood tests.  Heather kept checking the time on the small digital clock on the credenza.  Minutes seemed to take hours to tick by.  She was dizzy with questions about the surgery, but she was too afraid to voice any of them.

Finally, Dr. Lewellen returned.  He held two
manila folders in his hands.  He sat behind his desk, opened the first folder and read it silently.  He spoke to Justin over his half-rimmed glasses.  “You were right, Mr. Perrotta, you’re a match.”

He opened the second folder and studied it. 
“Mr. Hoffman, your blood type is AB-.  Miss Drakos’ is B+.  Unfortunately, we won’t be able to use your kidney.”

The doctor
’s eyes shifted to Justin.  “Would you like to proceed with the transplant, Mr. Perrotta?”

“
Yes,” Justin quickly answered.  “What do I need to do?”

“
We’ll need to run some additional tests to make sure you’re in good health.  If everything checks out, we can schedule surgery for next week.”  The doctor took his manila folders with him, and paused in the doorway.  “I’ll have my assistant bring in the necessary paperwork.”

Heather
’s emotions were volatile since she heard the news about her kidney.  She thought she was going to die, then she was overcome with joy and relief at the gift of a second chance at life.  She was grateful and indebted for the wonderful and generous people in her life who loved her so much.  Now the impending surgery sent her into a panic, and she was unable to control her sobs.

“
Don’t be scared,” Nick said.  “I’m right here.  I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“
I didn’t expect it to be so soon.  I’m not ready!” She could barely speak through her tears.

“
It’ll be over soon enough and then we can finish planning our wedding.”  Nick cupped her wet, tear-soaked face in his hands.  “I can’t wait to marry you, Heather.  I love you so much.  I’m sorry I wasn’t the right match.  I wanted to give you my kidney.  But I’m so happy Justin can help you.”

Heather looked at Justin and they stared at each other without saying a word.  Justin had been strong and composed up until now, but he finally broke down.  She ran into his arms, and they both sobbed
.

As Heather and Justin consoled one another, Nick and Kenny reached out to one another with a hug.

#

Once home, Kenny paced around the apartment.  He was too nervous to sit.  He barely had time to fully absorb the news about Heather
’s organ failure, and Justin’s decision to donate his kidney, and now they were preparing for surgery.

“
Stop worrying,” Justin said.  “I’ll be fine.”

Kenny
’s eyes welled up with tears and blurred his vision.  “I can’t.  This is too much, too soon.”

“
I need you, Kenny.  You’re making me more nervous than I already am.  I need to be strong for Heather, and I need you to be strong for me.  I can’t do this alone.  I’m scared too.”  Justin paused.  “You’ll be there with me the whole time, right?”

Justin
’s vulnerability was blatantly obvious.  Kenny stopped pacing and stood perfectly still.  He couldn’t fall apart.  Justin needed him.  He swallowed his fear, and his nurturing instinct kicked in.  “You know I will, honey,” he said, with confidence.  “I won’t let you out of my sight.  I’ll be there to take care of you every minute.  Heather, too.  You don’t have to worry about anything.  I’ll personally make sure you’re both OK.”

He put his arms around Justin
’s neck and held him in a protective embrace.  He pushed the unpleasant thought of Justin undergoing surgery, and the array of possible complications, out of his mind.  He knew he needed to be a professional and put on a façade, for Justin, even though fear remained steadfast and strong in his heart.

Chapter Seventy-Seven:

Day of Surgery

Heather received a tranquilizer to calm her nerves, but Justin declined.  She didn’t know why he didn’t take it.  She looked over at him lying in the bed next to her in the small pre-op room, and wondered how he remained calm.  Her eyes moved to Kenny.  He adjusted Justin’s bedding for the umpteenth time. Kenny was the head nurse in the I.C.U. now, and he would be taking care of both of them after surgery.  Thank God he was here.

Normally, surgery would be done simultaneously on both of them, but Heather refused to go into surgery until she knew Justin was alright.  Everyone tried to make her understand that it was more viable for the organ to go directly from donor to recipient, but she wouldn
’t listen to anyone, not even Justin.  If they didn’t do it her way, she would refuse the transplant and wait on the recipient list.  She couldn’t go under anesthesia without knowing Justin was out of surgery and OK. With Kenny’s help and persuasion, the transplant team reluctantly agreed to her request.

She picked at the string on her hospital gown and felt slightly less anxious with the hel
p of the medication.  Right now she was unconcerned about her imminent procedure; she was only worried about her best friend.  “Justin, are you OK?”

“
Yeah.  Try to relax, sweetie.”

Nick held her hand and tried to distract her thoughts by asking her
a series of unrelated and off-top questions.  He was wonderful.  He was trying to be strong, but she knew he was scared.  Every once in a while, when they talked about her surgery or their wedding, his voice would crack, and he tried to hide it by coughing or clearing his throat.  And sometimes, he would wake up in the middle of the night and stroke her hair and kiss her forehead, while she pretended to be asleep.  She wished she didn’t have to put him through this.