Jealousy (35 page)

Kenny darted past her again.  He couldn
’t sit still for more than thirty seconds.  Even though his shift didn’t start until 7:00 p.m. tonight, and this wasn’t his department, he kept checking in with the nurses to make sure everything was on schedule.

“
How are you doing, honey?” he asked her, again.

“
I’m nervous.  I just wish surgery would be over with already.”

“
You don’t have anything to worry about.”  Kenny patted her leg.  “You got the best team of surgeons and nurses, and they all know my two honeys are here.”  He gave her and Justin a reassuring nod.  “You two are gonna get extra special attention.”

“
Will you be here when we get back?” Heather asked.

He leaned closer to her. 
“Of course, honey.  Do you think I’m gonna leave you or Justin?  Me and Nick are gonna be here all night.  I’m working tonight.  I’m gonna be taking care of you, remember?”

“
Oh.  Yeah.  I forgot.”  The sedative clouded her mind, and she felt stupid for asking such a silly question.  She leaned back and silently stared at the ceiling for a long time.  She wondered why she was given another cross to bear.  She thought tragedy and bad luck were behind her.  She thought she was past all the obstacles that always stood in her way.  She had overcome and endured and finally found happiness.  She continued to stare at the ceiling.  She had overcome and endured and finally found happiness, she repeated to herself.  Maybe that was God’s plan after all.  She had completed her mission.  She found happiness and true love.  Wasn’t that what she searched for her entire life?  Maybe this was the end of the road – the end of her life’s journey. Then why would God drag Justin into it?  Why wouldn’t He just let her die of kidney failure?  But . . . what if that was part of Justin’s life plan?  What if they were destined to be together, in life and in death?  But what about Kenny and Nick?  They would take it hard, especially Kenny.  It was unfair.  Two large tears fell from the corners of her eyes, and she pressed her trembling lips together.

Justin squeezed in bed with her.  She welcomed his presence and rested her head on his chest.  He pulled her closer, and she knew that he needed her just as much as she needed
him.

“
Thank you, Justin.  For everything.”

He kissed the top of her head. 
“Stop thanking me.”

“
I can’t.  You’ve been so good to me my whole life.  I don’t know what I’d do without you, or how I would have made it this far.”  The tranquilizer made her lids heavy, but she fended off sleep.  She wanted to enjoy the safe feeling of being nestled in Justin’s arms and blinked away her exhaustion.  She caught a glimpse of Kenny’s forlorn face and knew he wanted to spend this time with Justin as well.  “Go stay with Kenny,” she said in a sleepy voice.

“
Are you sure?” Justin asked.  “Are you OK now?”

She patted his chest gently. 
“Go.  I have Nick here with me.”

Chapter Seventy-Eight:

Justin had prepared for this day since Heather was in the accident and lost her right kidney.  It was always in the back of his mind.  Even though he always knew he
’d donate his kidney, and although he never faltered for one moment, he was terrified.  He had no idea what the outcome was going to be for either of them.  His main concern was for Heather, but he worried about his own future as well.  Could his body sustain with only one kidney and, if so, for how long?  He questioned if Heather could go on if something were to happen to him.  Could she live with the guilt?  He thought about asking for the sedative that he refused earlier, but his nerves were calmed by Kenny stroking his cheek.

“
Have I told you lately how beautiful you are and how proud I am of you?” Kenny asked, with a soft smile.

Justin
’s eyes glazed over, and he kissed the palm of Kenny’s hand.

“
You make me so happy,” Kenny whispered.  “I can’t even remember what my life was like without you.  It’s like I only started living the day I met you.  I love you so much.”  A single tear trickled down Kenny’s cheek.

Justin
’s eyes moistened, and he blinked back his own tears.  “Don’t you start on me now.  I’m trying really hard to keep it together here.”

Kenny rocked him in his arms. 
“I’m here for you, honey.  I’m gonna be the strong one today.  You cry all you want.”

Justin felt his emotions get the better of him, but he didn
’t want Heather to see him cry, so he fought his tears.  He clutched onto the back of Kenny’s shirt and held him as tight as he could.

#

Two nurses approached with a gurney, ready to bring Justin to the O.R.  It sent Heather into a frenzied panic.  She reached out to him and cried his name.

Justin went to her. 
“It’s OK, sweetie.  Everything’s gonna be fine.”

She sobbed and rested her head in the shallow nook in the center of his chest.  She didn
’t want to go through with the surgery anymore.  She wanted to call it off.  She opened her mouth to tell them she changed her mind, but nothing came out.  She let out another sob and held onto Justin’s hospital gown.  “I love you, Justin.”

“
I love you too, sweetie.  But I have to go now.”

She didn
’t want to let go of him.  She didn’t want him to leave.  She was afraid she would never see him again.

Justin placed his hand under her chin and tilted her face up to his. 
“No more tears.  OK?  I want to see a smile.”

She looked into Justin
’s warm, reassuring eyes, and found enough courage to manage a weak smile.

“
That’s my girl.”  He kissed her on the lips.  “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

Chapter Seventy-Nine:

Justin la
y on the cold, hard operating table with his arms outstretched.  He looked like he was being crucified.  A large round light blared down on him, like a giant sun.  A nurse methodically attached an IV to his right arm and another strapped a blood pressure cuff to his left.  A third nurse hooked him up to an EKG machine, and yet another nurse counted out surgical instruments and placed them on a tray.  The light reflected off of the highly polished implements like a mirror, and temporarily blinded him.  One of the other nurses turned on a monitor behind his head, and its constant beeping rang in his ears.  His heart pounded in his chest and beads of sweat formed on his forehead.  Again, he wished he took the sedative.

Justin looked from face to unrecognizable face.  They all looked the same behind pale blue masks and surgical caps.  At last he found a pair of bright green eyes smiling at him.  He forgot
that Kenny was next to him, holding his hand.

Kenny stroked it with reassurance. 
“Everything’s fine, honey.  I’m right here.  Just take a couple of deep breaths.”

The anesthesiologist asked Justin several questions.  He watched the movements of the anesthesiologist
’s hands as they prepared the narcotic that would render him unconscious.  The doctor inserted the needle into a tiny jar of fluid and pulled the plunger back.  Clear liquid filled the barrel of the syringe, and the doctor held it up to the light to examine its contents.  He depressed the plunger slightly, and a small squirt of the drug shot out the top of the needle and into the air.  It took the doctor eight seconds, at most, to fill the syringe, but to Justin, it felt like an hour.

The anesthesiologist held up the syringe with a gloved hand. 
“Are you ready, Mr. Perrotta?”

Justin turned to Kenny. 
“Make sure you take care of Heather, in case . . .”

“
Don’t you worry about anything, honey.”

“
I love you, baby.”

Kenny pulled down his surgical mask and kissed Justin. 
“I love you too, honey.  I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

The anesthesia traveled through Justin
’s veins.  He tried to blink, but his lids were too heavy.  As he drifted off into unconsciousness, his last thoughts were of Heather.

Chapter Eighty:

“
That’s it, Kenny,” Dr. Lewellen said.  “If you’re not on my transplant team, you’re in the way.”

Kenny watched the surgery through the glass viewing window of the O.R. for several minutes.  The sight of his beloved Justin on the operating table with his body open and exposed made him grimace.  He placed his hand against the cold glass and wished surgery was done.  He knew Justin had an excellent team of doctors, but still he worried.  Today was going to be a hard day for him.  He felt guilty thinking about himself when clearly Justin and Heather were
the ones to suffer.  He leaned his back to the glass and closed his eyes.  Fear and emotion traveled up from his stomach and settle in his throat.  Tears welled up in his eyes, and his face contorted with grief, but he fought it.  Not yet, he told himself.  He still had Heather to tend to.  He wiped the emotion from his face with a swipe of his hand and headed back to pre-op.  When he got there, Heather was a wreck.  She sobbed heavily on Nick’s shoulder and probably hadn’t stopped crying since Justin went to the O.R.

“
Oh, honey, calm down,” Kenny said.  “Justin’s doing fine.”

Heather was startled by his voice.  She lifted her head from Nick
’s shoulder, but she still clung to him with both hands.  “Is Justin OK?”

“
Of course, he’s OK.  I stayed with him until he was under anesthesia.  They’re doing the surgery right now.”

“
Really?  Are you sure he’s OK?”

Kenny put his hands on his hips and cocked his head to the side. 
“Would I be here with you right now if something was wrong with Justin?”

Heather paused. 
“No. I guess not.”  She looked at Kenny with big, brown innocent eyes.  “Was he scared?”

“
He was only worried about you.”

Heather began to cry again, and she returned her head to Nick
’s shoulder.  Her body trembled and Kenny rubbed her back.  “Oh, honey, you need to take it easy.  Let me get you something.”

Kenny was furious that none of the nurses
had noticed Heather’s condition, and he marched over to the head nurse and lashed out at her.  “She needs another sedative!”  He flung his arm in Heather’s direction and leaned forward at the waist.  “Why hasn’t anyone been paying more attention to her?  She’s hysterical!”

The nurse strained her neck to see Heather from across the room and frowned. 
“I’m sorry, Kenny.  I’ll get right on it.”

His cheeks burned red hot, and he pointed his finger at the nurse. 
“If that was your family, you’d have three nurses on her!  This is unacceptable!”  He stomped his foot, turned abruptly and stormed away from the nurse’s station. He sat at the bottom of Heather’s bed and barely finished telling her that he ordered her another sedative, when a nurse appeared with her medication.  It was Aiden.

Aiden had been one of Kenny
’s nurses in the I.C.U. for two years, but recently switched to the day shift.

“
Thank you so much, Aiden,” Kenny said.  He was calmer now that someone he knew and trusted was there.

“
Awww,” Aiden said, as soon as he saw Heather.  “Why so sad?”

Too upset to put a sentence together, she gasped and convulsed.  Nick held her head against his chest and stroked her hair, but it had little
effect.  She was inconsolable.

Aiden quickly injected her with the sedative.  The medication took effect right away and she quieted down.  Her hands still trembled, though, as she wiped her face with a tissue and pawed at her throat.

“I’m sorry, dear,” Aiden said.  “You can’t have anything to drink.”

“
I know.” Her voice was squeaky and barely audible.

“
So, you must be Heather.  Kenny has been preparing us all week for your arrival.”

“
This is Aiden,” Kenny said.  “He was one of my nurses until he bailed on me for the day shift.”

“
Do you need another pillow or blanket?” Aiden asked Heather.

“
No, thank you,” she replied.

This time Heather
’s voice was more stable.  Kenny was still mad that the nurses didn’t give her the tranquilizer earlier, but he blamed himself.  He needed to micro-manage every detail of Heather’s care.  He couldn’t let something like this happen again.

“
OK, honey,” Kenny said. “I want you to lie down and get some rest.” He lowered the head of her bed and adjusted the sheet over her.  “How’s that?”

“
I feel a little better now.”  She offered him the tiniest smile and quickly fell into a light slumber.

Heather looked peaceful for the first time today.  Her breath was slow and even, and she hugged the sheet
to her chest.

Kenny glanced at Nick.  He had his hands clasped together and rested his elbows on his knees,
while he watched Heather sleep.