Jealousy (36 page)

“
How you holding up?” Kenny whispered.

“
Not good, but I need to be strong for her.  I wish there was something I could do.  It’s so hard to watch her go through this.  I don’t know how you do it, Kenny.  You’re amazing.”

“
Me?  Justin’s the rock.  Me and Heather are the emotional ones.  I’m ready to collapse, but I can’t let them see that.”  Kenny’s eyes dropped to the floor, and he let out a long sigh. “And we got a long way to go before this day’s over.”

“
I never expected this.”  Nick slowly shook his head.  I was just thinking back to when she first told me the details about the accident. It never occurred to me that there could still be repercussions. Who would’ve thought we’d be here a week and a half ago?”

“
To tell you the truth,” Kenny said, “I always had the thought in the back of my mind, especially right after the accident.  I used to watch her like crazy, but as the years went by, I thought everything was fine.”  He frowned.  “And now look at her.”

“
She’s lucky you were there to recognize the symptoms.  Thank you.  You’re a good friend to her.  And Justin – I think he’d give her the beating heart right out of his chest if she needed it.”

Kenny emitted a soft
laugh.  “You’re right about that . . . and she’d do the same for him.”

Kenny
’s thoughts returned to Justin on the operating table.  They were probably halfway through surgery by now. He needed to get back to the O.R. and check on him again.

Chapter Eighty-One:

Heather was suddenly aware that she was asleep.  She wanted to wake up, but her eyes were glued shut.  Her lids were
heavy.  Weighted.  Voices from the conscious world invaded her slumber.  They were unfamiliar.  Incoherent.  They spoke in random sentences.  She forced her eyes to open again, and they finally cooperated.

Nurses walked by her room in clusters, but only Nick sat in the chair by her bed. 
“Where’s Kenny?” she asked.

“
He went to check on Justin.  Go back to sleep.”

She bolted upright. 
“What happened?”

“
Nothing happened. Everything’s fine.  He’ll be back in a little while.”

Heather shifted to one side of the bed and invited Nick to lie down with her.  She didn
’t want to be alone.

Nick put his arms around her, and she nestled in the crook of his shoulder.  She wished they could stay like that forever.  She wished
that some miracle would happen and she wouldn’t need the transplant anymore.

“
Let’s get married,” Nick said.

“
What?”  His statement surprised her. “We’re getting married in September.”

Nick turned on
to his side and faced her. “No, I mean now, after your surgery.  We can fly to Vegas as soon as you’re well enough.”

“
What about our big wedding?”

“
I don’t care about that. I want you to be my wife.  I don’t want to wait.  I love you, beautiful.”

Heather ran her fingertips through his short stubby beard, and the corners of her lips curled into a small smile. 
“I love you, too, but I want to wait.  I want our beautiful fall wedding.”

The sound of Kenny
’s footsteps caused them both to sit up in the bed.

“
How’s Justin?” Heather asked.

“
He’s fine,” Kenny said.  “No complications.  They’re almost done.  They’re gonna page me as soon as he’s out of surgery.”

Heather closed her eyes and silently said a short prayer of thanks.  She found it ironic how she could forego religion most of her life, but when faced with a life
threatening crisis she remembered every prayer she learned in Sunday school.

Kenny
’s good news about Justin reassured her, but only slightly, because once Justin’s surgery was over, it meant that hers would begin.

Chapter Eighty-Two:

The high-pitched ring of Kenny
’s beeper permeated the stillness of the quiet pre-op room.  It meant Justin was out of surgery.  Kenny ran as fast as he could across the floor and caught up to Justin as they settled him into Recovery.  Kenny leaned over the railing of the gurney and took Justin’s limp hand.  “I’m here, honey.  You’re OK. Surgery’s over.  You’re fine, honey.”

Justin was still too sedated to respond, b
ut Kenny talked to him anyway.

He did a quick check of Justin
’s vitals.  They were strong, but Justin looked pale, and it worried him.  His eyes rested on Justin’s torso, and he tried to envision the scars left by the surgery.  Kenny wrinkled his brow and squeezed his eyes shut.  He wasn’t ready to look at the incisions yet, even if it was only in his head.

He kissed the palm of Justin
’s hand and cradled it to his chest.  Kenny leaned over and let his lips rest on Justin’s soft cheek.  It had that just-shaved, baby-soft skin that Kenny loved.  He lightly ran his fingertips down the perimeter of Justin’s naked unblemished face.  Justin looked boyish, almost angelic. He ran his fingers through Justin’s hair. It was thick and dense, and the color of mink. Kenny loved to touch its soft texture.

He gazed into Justin
’s closed eyes and reminisced about the day they first met in this same hospital under similar circumstances.  He remembered going over Heather’s chart with the day-nurse and catching a glimpse of Justin with Heather.  He was struck by Justin’s good looks and had trouble concentrating on his instructions.  The one and only time they broke up popped into his head.  If Justin never came back that day and apologized his life would be very different.  Nothing would have filled the void that this wonderful man would have left in his life and in his heart.  Tears stung Kenny’s eyes, but didn’t fall.  The loud beeping of his pager interrupted his thoughts, and he turned it off without looking at it.

A few minutes later, Aiden appeared at his side.
“Kenny, they want to bring Heather to the O.R., but she won’t go until she sees you.  You have to talk to her.  She won’t believe us that Justin’s OK.  She’s really starting to freak out.”

He didn
’t respond, nor did he look at Aiden.  Kenny’s eyes remained fixated on Justin.  Kenny knew Heather needed him, but he wasn’t ready to leave Justin’s side yet.

Aiden called
his name again.

Kenny sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.  His eyes were still glued on Justin, and he still cradled Justin
’s hand to his chest, as he answered.  “Tell her I want to stay with Justin for five more minutes.  Tell her I’ll be right there.  I don’t want to leave him yet.  Tell her that I told you to tell her that Justin’s fine.  She’ll believe you.”

Aiden exhaled loudly and hurried back t
o relay the message to Heather.

Kenny kissed Justin
’s forehead and ran his fingers through Justin’s hair again.  Kenny smiled a little.  Justin didn’t like anyone to touch his hair, but he had no idea that Kenny played with it while he was asleep.

“
I love you, honey,” Kenny whispered.  “Be well.  I’ll be back before you wake up.”

One last kiss and Kenny made his way back across the floor to Heather.  He started to worry about her.  He was gone a long time and she must think something was wrong.  He walked faster,
and then he ran full speed down the hall.

Chapter Eighty-Three:

When Kenny didn
’t come right back or answer his page, Heather thought it was the beginning of the end.  She thought Justin didn’t make it.  Next, it would be her turn.  They would bring her into surgery, where she would ultimately die on the operating table.  It would be the end of their existence in this life, but she didn’t care, as long as they were together.  But what if she made it and Justin didn’t?
 
All the color drained from her face and her inner voice screamed.  That wasn’t the plan.  They couldn’t be separated.  She could never go on without Justin.  Never.  She wouldn’t go through with the transplant.  That’s why they didn’t want to tell her something happened to Justin.

Even though Aiden relayed the message from Kenny that Justin was fine, she didn
’t believe him.  She thought Kenny couldn’t face her, and that’s why he sent Aiden.

Dead or alive, she needed to see Justin.  Nick tried to stop her from getting out of bed, but she fought him.  She struggled against his strong arms and Aiden tried to reassure her, but she wouldn
’t listen to either one of them.  She would wrestle them both to the ground if she had to.  She needed to find out what happened to Justin.

The double doors to pre-op flew open and Kenny collided with one of the nurses
, knocking a tray out of her hands.  The commotion caught Heather’s attention, and she stopped struggling.

“
Kenny!” she yelled.  “Where’s Justin?”

“
Calm down, honey.  He’s fine.  He’s in Recovery.”

“
Why were you gone so long?  What happened?”

“
I’m sorry.  I needed to stay with him for a little while.  I couldn’t leave him.  I just wanted to spend a little time with him. I know it was selfish of me, but really, honey, he’s fine.”

She felt a small sense of relief. 
“Is he really alright? Are you sure?”

“
Yes, honey.  He’s stable.  I checked all of his vitals myself.  You know I would never lie to you.”

She studied Kenny
’s face carefully.  He was telling the truth.  Relief washed over her, and her body convulsed several times as she let out a series of small whimpers and soft sobs.  Suddenly, she was filled with a sense of hope.  A reckoning.  Maybe everything was going to turn out alright, after all.  Maybe
that
was the plan.

Nick hugged her and caressed her back. 
“See?  I told you that he was OK and you were getting upset over nothing.”

She gave him a small smile and nodded.

“Are you ready now, Miss Drakos?” one of orderlies asked.  “We really can’t wait any longer.”

Reality hit her like a slap in the face.  It was her turn now.  Her heart ran rampant.  She looked at Kenny and tried not to panic. 
“Will you stay with me like you did Justin?”

Kenny leaned toward her with a half open smile. 
“Absolutely!  You don’t think I’m gonna let me best girl go through this alone, do you?  And Nick is gonna walk with us to the O.R.  He can’t come inside, but he’s gonna walk you right up to the door.”  Kenny extended his hand to her.  “Come.  Everyone’s waiting for us.”

She took a deep breath, bit her lower lip, and took Kenny
’s outstretched hand.  As she laid down on the gurney, she looked back for Nick.  He was right there, at her side, smiling at her with reassurance.

The distance from pre-op to the O.R. was less than a two-minute
walk, but to Heather it was an eternity.  Nick and Kenny tried to engage her in conversation on the way, but she ignored them.  Fear crowded her mind and drowned out their voices.  She feared the surgery and the ensuing pain and recovery.  She feared rejection of Justin’s kidney.  She feared not waking up from the anesthesia, but most of all her fears lied with Justin’s well being.

The gurney came to a stop and two large double doors stood before her.  It was the operating room.  All thoughts immediately cleared her mind
– except one.

“
Can I see Justin before I go in?” she asked.

“
I’m sorry, honey,” Kenny said.  “You’re not allowed in the recovery room.”

Nick kissed her.  It was a long closed-mouth kiss. 
“Don’t forget, we’re going to Vegas when you’re better.”

She smiled through quivering lips, and her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. 
“No, we’re not,” she said softly.

Nick cupped her face in his hands. 
“I love you, beautiful.”

“
I love you too, Nick.”

She held Kenny
’s hand as tight as she could as they wheeled her into the O.R.  She crushed his fingers, but she wouldn’t let go, not even when the nurse placed the blood pressure cuff on her arm.  Her heart palpitated furiously in her chest, and her eyes darted from nurse to nurse as they prepared for surgery.  She thought about Justin, laying on the same operating table several hours before, and wondered if he was as scared as she was.

“
What’s all this talk about Vegas?” Kenny asked.

She knew he was trying to distract her, but she was too absorbed in her surroundings to
answer him.

Kenny nudged her shoulder. 
“What’s all this about Vegas?” he repeated.

“
What?”  She relaxed a little.  “Oh, Nick wants to go to Vegas and get married.  He said he didn’t wanna wait another six months.”

“
That’s sweet.  He loves you a lot, honey.”