Authors: Casey McMillin
Julien put the hand-written letter down on the foot of the bed as he went to the bathroom. He hovered over the sink and splashed some cold water onto his face. He stared at himself in the mirror, feeling all sorts of sideways about the letter he'd just read. He leaned over the sink thinking he might throw up, but swallowed it back and splashed more water onto his face. His body literally ached at the thought of her being on her way back to France already. He wanted to drop everything and go to her.
Actually, that was his only option.
Nothing else felt right.
Within three minutes of reading her letter, he was call
ing his sister.
"Hey, I have to bring Max back over there."
"Why?"
"Because I'm going back to France."
Nikki laughed. "You need your head checked," she said, "callin' my phone bein' silly."
"I'm serious Nikki. "I'm looking at this flight that leaves in two hours. I need to get to the airport."
"Bring him, I guess then. If you're serious."
"I'm serious. And thank you."
"You're welcome, but you better stop being so dad-gum sketchy after this."
"I will, I promise."
Julien switched his dirty clothes for clean ones, threw a few things into his bag, and brushed his teeth before leaving again.
He was only at his sister
's long enough to tell her he'd explain everything when he got back. She made a joke about catching the girl at the airport like in the movies. Julien knew he was way too late for that, but he smiled about it in his Jeep when he left.
His first flight took him to Dallas, and from there he'd go to London.
Julien had twenty minutes to make it to his connecting flight in Dallas, and by the time he made it to the gate, they were seconds from pulling away. It was the dramatic scene his sister had joked about, only there was no Nadine when he made it there.
He settled into his seat for the flight, which would take more than nine hours and take him to London.
He had a five-hour layover in London before finishing his trip. That was the route that took him to Paris the fastest, and that was all he was worried about. It would be evening hours in Paris when he arrived, and he thought about whether or not he was going to go straight to Nadine's or sleep in a hotel and go to her the next morning. He had no plans whatsoever. He didn't even know what he was going to say to her once he got there. One way or another, he'd get his point across.
****
Nadine had been in her childhood bedroom for hours, crying her eyes out. Sometimes they came out quietly, and other times she boohooed into her pillow like a baby. Her mom and sister Emile had both been in there at different times, trying to talk her out of her heartache. They said things like, "You just met him," and "It will get better, just give it some time." She understood they meant well, but those words did
nothing
to lessen the pain. She asked herself a hundred times if she'd done the right thing, but she had no way of knowing that for sure. Gut instinct was all she had to go on, and at that moment, she wasn't sure she trusted her gut. How did people binge eat when they had broken hearts? She'd barely eaten a thing since she started reading that book, and hadn't had any decent sleep, either. All this was a recipe for exhaustion.
Her mother tried
to get her to come out and eat dinner with the family, but Nadine didn't go for it. She wasn't trying to be dramatic she was just puffy eyed and tired and didn't feel like trying to talk to anyone. Emile and Eric had come over to eat dinner and Emile came by Nadine's room when they were on their way home to tell her goodbye. Nadine was already asleep, so Emile wrote her a note telling her to hang in there and that everything would be okay. She left it on the bedside table.
It was almost 9PM when
Nadine woke up. She had only been sleeping for a couple hours and felt dizzy and delirious when she opened her eyes. She had a headache, which made her feel somewhat disoriented. She heard voices in the distance, and her stomach flipped as her mind started playing tricks on her. She could have
sworn
she heard Julien's voice. It was deep to the point of being unmistakable and she wondered who else had a voice like that. She squinted into the dim room as she listened intently, cursing herself for wishing it were really him. She couldn't hear it enough to tell for sure, but the tones and phrasings made it sound like he was speaking English.
A tiny spark of hope flared up in her belly followed by a tiny spark of dread having to face him only to say goodbye again. She hoped it
was
him almost as much as she hoped it
wasn't
him. She heard footsteps coming down the hall and she fell back onto her pillow so she could pretend she was still sleeping if need be. Her door opened just a crack and she saw her mother peek her head around. Nadine couldn't stand it. She picked her head up and shot her mom a curious expression. Jolene opened the door, and started walking toward Nadine.
"Il est ici," she said.
He's here.
Nadine's head collapsed onto her pillow. She sighed in confusion at her own feelings. "D'accord," Nadine said simply.
Just then, there were a few short raps on the half-open door.
"Non,
non, non, non." Nadine's mother started toward the door shaking a finger at the big fighter who'd just stepped into the room. She started yelling past him in French, and Julien knew she was calling for her husband to come help and asking why he'd let Julien back there in the first place. Truth was, even through the language barrier, Patrick LaBelle could see Julien's sincerity. He'd let him go back there, and would be no help at all in removing Julien from the room… unless Nadine wanted it that way.
"Tell your mom you'll talk to me," Julien pleaded. Everyone was silent for a few seconds. "I came all this way," he continued. "Please just hear me out for a few minutes."
Nadine looked back and forth from her mom to Julien. "I'm okay, Mama," she said.
Nadine's mom gave her daughter a concerned expression like maybe she should at least
think
about that decision.
"Ca va bien," Nadine repeated.
Her mother gave Julien a warning glare before leaving them.
"F
ermer la porte, s'il vous plait," Nadine said, and her mother obeyed, closing the door behind her.
Nadine suddenly felt stupid
for laying there in bed. She sat up and swung her legs over the side sitting on the edge. She straightened her posture as she looked in Julien's direction. She kept telling herself to stay guarded, but everything about him penetrated her defenses.
He regarded her with a sorrowful expression as he started crossing the room. Nadine put out a hand
to stop him before he got too close. "Did you get the letter?" she asked.
"Of course I got it.
Why do you think I'm here?"
Nadine didn't even care what a stupid question that was. "I told you in the letter not to come after me."
"Did you think for a second that I
wouldn't
?"
She didn't answer.
"I'm not letting that book do this to us," he said. He leveled her with an impassive stare.
"I can't believe you would be okay with just falling into the life that girl wrote.
That's just
not
okay with me."
"It's not like that," he sai
d. "You can't think about it in those terms."
"How
else
can you think about it, Julien?"
"The book saved your life, or five years of it maybe—who knows? Regardless, the book gave me the clues I needed to help you out. Did you ever think of it like that? Did you ever consider that it was just a random miracle that helped
save your life
?"
"No, I didn't think of it like that, Julien. It's hard to think about anything besides how messed up it is that someone knew my
thoughts
. Knew my thoughts about
you
. I mean, Jesus, there was a sex scene in there. What if it's really like that when we do it? That's just too many details for a 'random miracle' as you call it."
Julien sat by her on th
e bed, but didn't make any move to touch her. He rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, and took a deep, calming breath. "Nadine, I don't have all the answers. I don't know why or how Shea wrote the words she did. I
will
tell you she's a nice lady. She wasn't trying to do anything harmful. This whole thing was as much of a shocker to her as it was to us."
"Not quite, I'm sure," Nadine interjected.
Julien shrugged agreeing with her. "What I'm saying is that I don't believe there was anything questionable on her end. She was so taken aback by your appearance that she hired an investigator to check you out."
Nadine shot him an offended look, and Julien smiled. "You have to understand that we'd all read the book—some of us more than once. When you showed up at the gym, it was pretty weird."
"Is that why you treated me like you hated me."
"I thought you were lying about your name at first, yes, but it didn't take me long to see you weren't."
"How'd you know?"
"Because I had feeling
s for you. I knew I couldn't feel that way for you if you were a liar, therefore you must not be a liar."
"
When we started seeing each other, I honestly expected that I could just fall in love and have a normal relationship, and this is
soooo
far from normal, Julien."
"Fuck expectations," he said. "I
expected
the book to stay up on my shelf instead of sucking me into its pages like The NeverEnding Story, but sometimes things don't happen like you
expect
. As far as I see it, the book served its purpose. It gave me the clues I needed to help you out when you ended up at gunpoint. Why can't we just leave it at that and be together? Why do you think we have to waste a good thing?"
He sounded so convincing that Nadine caught herself wondering what she'd been thinking leaving him like that. It didn't help that he was an entirely too beautiful creature.
"I mean the way you put it makes me feel silly."
"Good, because it
is
silly. I know it's a lot to take in, but it's over now. The book did its job, and the rest of our lives are ours to live as we choose. If you choose to be with me, it's not because the book made you do it. The choice is your own."
"I'm afraid that if I go with you I'll always feel the book hanging over our relationship."
"Why? And why do you have to view it as a negative? You got shot at. You could have been hurt, but you weren't. The book's role in our lives is over. From here on out the choices are ours."
Julien's perspective made so much sense to her. Nadine
began to feel better as hope started to slowly creep into her mindset. They'd both been staring down, and Nadine looked at him for the first time.
He picked his head up and studied her face. "Baby,"
he said softly. He reached up and smoothed a few stray hairs from her temple, and loving the feel of his warm hand, she let her face fall into it. He repositioned himself to face her; never removing his cupped hand from around her jaw. "If it's just that you don't want to be with me, then tell me and I'll leave you alone, but if all this was just about the book, I'm not letting you go."
He waited, but she didn't respond.
"What do you want?" he asked, patiently.
She still just stared at him with a serious expression. She was quiet and motionless for a few long seconds before the beginnings of a smile touched the corner of her mouth. She leaned in so her mouth was near his ear.
"You," she whispered.
There's nothing in the world quite like the feeling of relief you get when you think you've lost something
very important, but then you get it back.
Julien
sighed and took a second to study her face. He smiled at her and her lips stretched into a slow, slightly reluctant grin.
"I'm scared," she said.
"It's okay to be scared. You just shouldn't be scared of the book."
"You have to admit it's crazy, though, Julien."
"I know it's crazy. I never tried to say it
wasn't
crazy. But there's no reason it should keep us apart."
She was quiet, so he spoke again.
"I'm tired of the stupid book if you want to know the truth. I'm glad it's over. The ending is ours now."
"What will happen?" she asked.
"That's up to us. I was thinking you could spend the night with me, for starters."
"I don't know how my parents would feel about that. I've been in a bit of a bad mood all day, and—"
"We're not staying at your parent's house. They're good people and everything, but I'm taking you with me."