Just a Little Crush (Crush #1) (22 page)

I paced the length of Ryder’s room waiting for him to come back. He and Paige met with their mom for a late lunch, where they’d planned to tell her everything. It was almost dinnertime now and I hadn’t heard from him.

I checked my phone again. No missed calls. No texts. Nothing. I sank onto the bed, hoping it had gone all right. The last thing I wanted was some sort of family disagreement to alienate Ryder from me again.

I pulled out my laptop and busied myself checking email. I even waded through my junk mail. Anything to serve as a distraction.

My phone chimed. I yanked it up and read the screen.

Fallon:
Guess who is the newest Child Life Intern at Memorial Hospital?

Me:
You got the internship!

I’d never pictured her to be a kid person, but the more I got to know her, the more I realized how little I truly knew about her.

Fallon:
I heard your shock two states away.

With a laugh, I typed a reply.

Me:
No way! I had complete faith in you.

Fallon:
I’ll tell you more when I get back. My family is sucking the life out of me here.

I smiled.

Me:
Understandable. Well, congrats! I can’t wait to hear all about it.

I tapped my phone on my chin and stared blankly at the email on my screen. The fact that Fallon had beat me to something like that really made me second-guess my decision to wait until after sophomore year to secure an internship. It was too late now to apply for the one I wanted as a research assistant, but maybe the campus health center had a summer shadowing experience still available. I pulled up their website to find information on who to contact.

“Hey.” Ryder leaned against the door frame of his room.

Startled, I gasped and clutched my chest. “You scared me.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to.” The dark blue T-shirt he wore hugged his chest and biceps as he lifted his hand to brush hair from his eyes.

“It’s okay, I just didn’t hear you come in.” I bookmarked the page, closed my laptop and got up to put it away. “How’d it go?”

“It was interesting.” He walked into his room and tossed his keys on the nightstand, pulled his phone out of his pocket, setting it down as well.

“What did she say?” I asked, while taking in the way his body moved.

“She’s not leaving him,” he said.

“She’s not?” I asked, fixated on the way his dark lashes dipped over his green eyes as he blinked. And his lip ring, as his tongue slid over it.

My gaze drifted to where the tiny birds tattooed over his smooth chest were concealed by the worn cotton T-shirt, then farther south to the amazing abs that rolled and flexed with his lithe movements, then on to his jeans, which hung low on his hips. My face warmed as I envisioned the muscular path that plunged into some hidden point beneath his pants.

“No,” his words sounded far away, or distracted.

My pulse quickened as memories took over, allowing me to mentally remove all that clothing obscuring the perfection underneath.

“Brinley?” Ryder’s voice had deepened.

My head snapped up. “Yeah.”

“What are you thinking?”

My cheeks burned, lust replaced with embarrassment.

“Um, what did she say?” I tucked my hair behind my ear and sank back onto the bed.

He closed the distance between us and stood directly in front of me. With my chin between his thumb and forefinger, he tilted my head up. He shook his head. “What were you thinking?”

“I don’t know. Kind of spaced out,” I said with an overdone shrug, while all too aware of how close his body was to mine. “So how do you feel—”

“You weren’t spaced out.” He dropped to his knees, putting us at almost eye level with each other. “In fact, you looked pretty focused to me. If we’re being honest, you looked like you wanted—”

“You. I want you,” I blurted. Heat crept up my neck as his mouth slowly tugged into a ridiculously sexy grin.

“I was going to say you looked like you wanted to say something, but I like your answer better.” He pressed his mouth to mine as he stood. He placed his knee between my legs and urged me onto my back.

His tongue pushed past my parted lips and swept over mine.

I’d missed the way his mouth caressed mine. My hips arched as he settled his thigh between my legs. The warmth of his body radiated down as his scent enveloped me, leaving me blissfully consumed by all things Ryder.

“Being around you, but not able to touch you, has driven me insane,” he said, echoing my thoughts. “I can’t stop thinking about the way it feels to be with you.” He slid his hand under my shirt and up my body. He ran his tongue along my neck, toward my ear. “To taste you,” he whispered as his other hand slipped between my thighs.

I whimpered as he rubbed his hand against my jeans.

He nipped at my earlobe then gave it a gentle tug. “Tell me what you want, Brinley.”

“I did.” I wriggled under his hand. “You.”

“You already have me. But you know that, so tell me what you want
from
me?”

When I didn’t answer, his hand stopped moving over me. I whimpered in objection.

“Do you want this?” He stroked me again.

“Mm-hmm,” I mumbled.

“Is that all?”

I wanted him to strip me down, press his body to mine and push deep inside me. But telling him that wasn’t going to happen. “Why don’t you tell me what you want?” I countered.

He pulled back slightly, the corner of his mouth quirked up as he stared down on me. “I’m not sure you’re ready to hear that.”

“I want to know.”

He studied me, looking highly amused.

I said, “Tell me the first thing to come to mind and then I’ll tell you mine.”

He raised an eyebrow as if to challenge me. Like he’d anticipated embarrassment on my part and found it entertaining. “I want to know how wet you are right now.”

So I stared right back at him and said, “Very.”

Ryder groaned. “What am I supposed to say to that?” He shook his head.

“You aren’t supposed to say anything.” I yanked my shirt over my head, wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his mouth to mine.

We continued to kiss, breaking our connection momentarily as we hastily shed the remainder of our clothes. When all that remained between us were his boxers and my panties, Ryder sat back on his knees, hooked a finger through the strip of fabric resting just below each of my hip bones and slowly tugged down.

My heart thumped wildly against my ribs as I forced my breathing to even out. Though I’d been naked in front of him before, I still experienced the thrill of nervous butterflies as he took me in.

“You know, it’s spring break,” he said, his expression serious, but his tone playful. “We don’t have class. Everyone is gone until the weekend. I’m thinking you should just forgo clothes for the next few days.”

I grinned and shook my head. “I don’t know if everyone still on campus would appreciate that.”

“Oh, trust me, they would. But a little too much for my liking, which is why I also suggest you never leave this bed. Don’t worry though, I’ll keep you company.”

“Well, in that case…” I smiled. “But you have to be naked too.”

“Is there any other way to spend time in bed with you?”

I glanced down at his boxers and ran a fingernail across his abdomen. “Starting now.”

He chuckled as I tugged them down. Once undressed, he pulled a condom on and settled over me.

“I’ve missed this.”

“I’m sure,” I teased.

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, sure,
this
is great, but I’ve missed you. Us. All of it.”

I knew exactly what he meant because I’d missed us too. I loved everything about
us.
With a smile, I pulled his mouth to mine.

He kissed me tenderly, paying equal attention to my bottom lip then top one.

My lips parted as his tongue swept over mine, slowly dancing along, coaxing my body to meld with his.

“Ryder, I—”

He pulled back, his eyes bright as he stared into mine.

Losing my courage to express exactly what I’d been thinking, I said, “I’m happy we worked it all out.”

“Me too, Brin.” He smiled.

With my leg wrapped around his, I urged him forward. He slipped inside me and paused. “Okay, I really missed
this
too.”

“Mm-hmm.” I rocked my hips forward. “We definitely need to make up for lost time.”

Slowly pulling away, he whispered, “Yeah.” He lowered his mouth to mine and inched his way back in. “We have time. We have as long as you’ll give me.”

My lips answered with a kiss, but my heart answered with forever.

I pulled the shirt he’d given me over my head.

“You haven’t even hung around me that long and you’re already turning into a rule-breaker,” Ryder said with a tsk.

I grinned. “I was cold.”

He stared at the shirt, then his gaze dipped down over my legs and back up my body. “Well, if you insist upon wearing clothes, that’s a good choice.”

The bed bounced as I plopped down next to him. With my legs crossed, I leaned against the wall. “So you want to talk about what happened with your mom?”

He folded his arms behind his head, the sheet rumpled around his waist. “I could think of better things to do.”

“Okay, let me rephrase. Will you tell me what happened with her?”

“There’s not much more to tell. I told her everything. She didn’t seem that surprised. Then she said she’s not leaving him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Come here.” He guided me down, my head cradled against his chest, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “You know, I realized something this afternoon.”

“What’s that?” I asked, tilting my head to see him.

“It’s not my problem.” He shifted on his side to face me. “You and I have been making ourselves miserable carrying the burdens of our parents, but why? We’ve both come clean, said our piece and now it’s time for us to stop worrying about them. Let them make their own decisions, live their own lives, and we should do the same. “He cupped my cheek. “I’m not going to live my life scared to fuck up just because they did. I’m ready to focus on my own life. I’m ready to focus on us. On you. Starting with making up for the stupid shit I did to make you hate me.”

I placed my leg over his hip and shifted to a sitting position, straddling him. He needed to hear the truth, and I was ready to confess it. “The only reason I ever said I hated you was because of something I’d thought you’d done. I was angry and hurt, but only because I love you.”

He looked down and cleared his throat. “You have no idea what hearing you say that does to me.” He looked back up, a glassy sheen coated his green eyes. “I’m still not convinced I deserve you.”

“Of course you do. You’re the most deserving person I know.” With my hands on the mattress beside his head, I leaned forward until our noses touched. “And I love you like crazy.”

He smiled, brushed his lips against mine and whispered, “That’s my line. And it’s ‘I love you like
fucking
crazy.’ ”

“So it’s official.” Mason, who sat across from me, folded his arms over the table. “You two are back together. Everything’s perfect, and you’re happy?” He stared into my eyes, watching for any sign of deception. The problem with my best friend: He thought he knew me better than I knew myself.

Fallon glanced up from her phone and, with a little grunt, said, “Who wouldn’t be happy boarding the Ryder-train.” The chime of a text drew her attention back down but she still managed to pump her fist in the air and murmur, “Choo choo.”

Mason made a sound of disgust.

Suppressing my laughter, I answered Mason, “I’m more than happy.” My gaze drifted to Ryder, who stood at the bar.

He smiled back then turned his attention to the bartender, who prepared his order.

“What about you?” I asked Mason.

He’d returned from the beach yesterday. Other than a few texts, we hadn’t talked much, but when we’d made plans to go out tonight, he told me Leena would probably join us.

“I guess Leena and I are dating.”

Fallon lowered her phone and angled herself toward Mason. “You guess?”

Fallon had returned, this morning, from visiting her family. She’d been quieter than usual. A bit more subdued. Maybe tired, but Mason sure had managed to capture her undivided attention with his comment.

Mason slouched back. “We hooked up. I like her. But it was spring break.”

Fallon crossed her arms. “She’s not the kind of girl you have one-night stands with, you know.”

The chances of Mason and Fallon ever actually getting along seemed to dwindle each time we hung out.

“I didn’t say that.” He huffed. “Look, I like Leena and we will see how things go, but I don’t think either of us are ready to make it official.”

“Oh.” Fallon relaxed her arms. “Well, if you’re on the same page, then whatever.”

I didn’t want to be in the middle of an argument with these two. Maybe I could shove a drink in front of them. I checked the bar to see if Ryder was done yet. To my surprise, he stood there with Noah.

Noah said something and Ryder nodded. As far as I knew, they hadn’t spoken since the incident. He helped Ryder carry the shot glasses to our table.

Mason noticed the two approaching. “That’s…interesting.”

Ryder handed me a shot glass and placed the other in front of Fallon. Noah slid Mason his and the last one in front of where Ryder had sat.

“Brinley, can I talk to you for a second?” Noah asked.

Mason’s shoulders stiffened.

I glanced at Ryder.

“It’s up to you,” he whispered, but didn’t seem at all upset by Noah’s request.

“Um, sure.” I stood and followed him to a nearby corner.

“I just wanted to apologize.”

“Oh, okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. Truth is, I wanted to get back at Ryder but, really, all I did was screw you over. You didn’t deserve to be dragged down in the process. You are genuinely one of the sweetest people I know and what I did was wrong. So I’m sorry.”

“Well, thanks. For apologizing.” I tucked my hair behind my ear and glanced at the table where my friends were sitting. Each of whom stared at us.