Just Breathe (20 page)

He laughed a little, relaxing some more. ‘It won’t be all business. Their wives have been doing some serious retail therapy.’

Dee’s phone buzzed a text message. ‘So, considering my limited knowledge of surgical equipment and shopping, I guess you didn’t ask me along for my expert opinions.’ She pulled the mobile from her bag.

It was Leon.
He thinks you look great!!!! Lindall’s flight delayed. Yawn. C u tonight.

‘Everything okay?’ Ethan asked.

‘Leon wants me to party on later but after everything that’s happened today, I think I’d prefer to party into bed.’

‘Is that right?’

‘I mean, I’d prefer to go to bed.’

‘Is that right?’

‘Not for … not to … you know … to sleep.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Uh-huh. Anything else you need me to clarify?’

Ethan’s out-of-town guests looked uncomfortable in the trendy, upmarket restaurant. They agonised over the complex menu, wondered aloud if the meals came with chips, used their phones to take photos of a soap star dining nearby.

Over dinner the wives, Shelley and Rachael, leaned across the table and drew Dee in. ‘It must be so exciting living in Sydney,’ Rachael said.

‘If you could ever get used to the traffic,’ said Shelley. ‘I was terrified when I drove the hire car.’

‘And there are famous people everywhere.’ Rachael reached over Shelley’s shoulder to snap a game show host who’d walked in, then ducked back into their huddle. ‘Actually, I thought Ethan Roxburgh might be a bit hard to talk to, being so clever and a celebrity and all, but he’s very nice, isn’t he?’

‘Much nicer than you’d expect,’ Dee agreed.

He glanced up as though he’d heard his name but not the context. His eyes caught on hers and a smile played on his lips.

‘Your reticence concerns us,’ Bob said loudly to Ethan.

Shelley glared at him crossly. ‘You boys aren’t still talking business, are you?’

‘We’re nearly done, Shell,’ Bob said then spoke to Ethan. ‘I know it’s not part of the deal but we want to know what your plans are.’

There was a beat and Dee sensed the mood at the table had shifted.

‘Like I said, we haven’t made any decisions yet,’ Ethan finally replied and laid his napkin on the table, as though that was the end of that.

Bob pushed his plate away. ‘Eli and I have spent twenty years building up that factory and we made sure there’d be no reason to make massive changes.’

‘All I can tell you is that there are no plans.’

‘We assured our one hundred and forty-six good workers before we left on Wednesday that their jobs were safe. Don’t make liars of us.’

Dee watched a muscle in the side of Ethan’s jaw flex and contract as he clenched and unclenched his jaw. ‘Our contract doesn’t relate to decisions Roxburgh Holdings might make down the line. If you’ve got problems with what we’ve agreed on, you should say so now.’

An edgy silence fell over the group.

Dee glanced between Ethan and Bob and Eli. They’d all been getting along so nicely then the warriors put up shields and got defensive. Bob drained his wine glass, turned to Eli with some kind of silent communication. Ethan sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. Were they going to ditch an agreement because they couldn’t let their defences down? Boys, take a deep breath, she wanted to say. Then Bob shoved his chair back, seemed ready to walk.

She grabbed a bottle of wine, topped up his glass and hoped she was doing the right thing. ‘It must be hard to leave your workers in someone else’s hands when you’ve looked after them
for so long.’

No one spoke. Ethan’s jaw clenched and unclenched again. Maybe she just made it worse.

‘It is,’ Bob said with sudden volume. ‘Some of those boys have been with us for twenty years. They rely on us to look after their families.’

‘That must be very rewarding,’ Dee said.

‘We’re like a family,’ he told her.

‘We all work hard and everyone benefits,’ Eli added.

Dee faced Ethan, raised an eyebrow at him, like a prompt. It was his turn.

His eyes moved from Bob to Eli to Dee and understanding dawned on his face. He unfolded his arms. ‘Roxburgh Holdings is a large corporation but we have other small-scale businesses like yours and we understand the value of the loyalty you’ve built. I think it’s safe to say it wouldn’t be in anyone’s best interest to break that up.’

Bob and Eli nodded slowly in united approval. The shields came down warily. A TV current affairs host walked into the restaurant and Shelley and Rachael picked up their phones. After that distraction, the conversation moved on to safer ground.

An hour later, as they left the restaurant, Bob slung an arm around Dee. ‘Take a word of advice from an old guy, Ethan. Make sure you hang on to this girl. She’s a smart cookie and us guys need to keep them around, right, Shell?’

‘Right, Bobby.’

‘I’ll bear that in mind,’ Ethan answered, his eyes on Dee as he said it.

‘I think Bob has excellent taste in cookies,’ Dee said as Ethan steered the car out of the parking lot.

He chuckled. ‘You made a good call tonight. I was just annoyed they were bringing that stuff up so late in the game. You’ve got good instincts.’

Dee felt herself puff up at the high praise. ‘Thank you.’

‘So do you think I should keep you around?’

She peered across the darkened car at him, unsure what he meant. Yes, please, was on the tip of her tongue but Ethan Roxburgh, millionaire entrepreneur and man of many women, was unlikely to take the advice of Bobby and Shell on the spur of the moment. ‘Well, I, um …’

‘I think
you
could mentor
me
. We should have a contra deal – I give you business advice, you teach me to read people.’

Oh, of course. Like he meant anything else, you idiot. She forced a laugh and dug her buzzing phone out of her bag. It was Leon again:
Lindall says hi. Dont b long or we’ll run out of champers xx

‘Is Leon’s party calling?’ Ethan asked.

‘Yeah. Sounds like I should make an appearance.’ It would be better than going home to dream of something that would never happen.
On my way xx
, she wrote back. ‘Just drop me at the yoga school. You’ll never get a parking spot on a Friday night and my car’s right around the corner.’

He did a lap of the block anyway before double-parking at the corner. ‘Are you sure this is okay?’

‘Fine,’ she lied. She wanted him to keep her around. She unclipped her seatbelt. ‘Thanks for tonight. It was fun. I hope the deal comes off all right on Monday.’

He turned towards her. ‘I’m sure it will, thanks to you.’

Neither of them moved. Dee could smell the sweet muskiness of his skin, the after-dinner coffee. His hand on the steering wheel glowed red from the traffic light behind. Then green. A car honked its horn before speeding past and they watched its tail lights trail in the night.

What was she waiting for? For the heat in the car to make them melt together? ‘I should go,’ she said. Her lips were aching, her heart hammering. She forced herself forward, aiming for the door handle, took a detour and leaned the other way. They were past the hand-shaking stage now, weren’t they? A goodnight kiss was appropriate, wasn’t it? She reached across the car, touched her lips to his cheek, left them there as though they’d been drawn in on a string. Her breath caught on a buzz of electricity. Such a shame this was all that would be happening. Come on, Dee, if you don’t move soon, he’ll think you’ve attached yourself with Super-Glue. She shifted slightly, felt his lips at the corner of hers, and before she knew what she was doing, she turned and pressed her mouth to his.

He hesitated a moment. Almost long enough to make her pull away. Then his lips softened, parted, and he kissed her back.

His mouth was soft and firm and gentle and insistent – and her head swam with a concoction of sensations. She put a hand to his face, ran it through his hair. His arm slid around her, his palm burning a path down the centre of her back. His breath on her cheek felt like hers – hard and ragged.

Voices hooted at them as harsh lights flashed past, breaking the spell of the moment, making her snap back with a gasp.

Across the darkness, she saw Ethan’s expression of utter astonishment. Perhaps it was best if she left quickly.

‘You know, I’ve been wondering how that would feel. Night.’ She threw open the door, jumped out and slammed it behind her.

You have lost your mind, she ticked herself off as she ran to her car, heart hammering, lips aching for more of him. As she slid into the driver’s seat, she glimpsed Ethan’s car still waiting at the corner, his silhouette turned her way, and fought an intense desire to bang her forehead on the steering wheel. Her phone rang as she pulled into the street. She checked the display, winced, drove a block before switching on the speaker phone. ‘Ethan, I, um …’

‘That’s not fair,’ he cut in.

‘I know, I know. You’re my mentor and it’s entirely inappropriate and –’

‘It’s not fair that someone who doesn’t date can kiss like that.’

Huh? ‘Just because I don’t date doesn’t mean I can’t kiss.’

‘Does it work like that?’

‘Well, no. It would work better if I had some dates, then there would be more opportunities to kiss people. Even kiss them again if the first one goes well.’

There was silence on the end of the line for so long that Dee thought they’d been cut off.

‘Turn right,’ he said.

‘What?’

‘I’m two cars behind you. Turn right at the next lights.’

Dee checked the rear-view mirror, saw his car with the indicator flashing. She pulled into the turning lane, took the corner, watching as he followed.

‘I thought you didn’t date,’ Ethan said, his voice thin through the speaker.

‘I would if someone asked me out. Someone nice, though, not just anyone. I’m not that desperate for a kiss.’

There was another pause. ‘I thought it was something to do with the yoga.’

‘It is. I work such long hours I never have the time to meet anyone. Well, I met one guy but he’s only interested in herbal tea, and then there’s you. You’re the first man in ages that I’ve actually been attracted to – got a serious crush, to be honest – but you’ve made it perfectly clear we don’t date. We just do business.’

Another pause – and was that laughing? ‘You said you didn’t date because of your commitment to yoga. I thought there was a religious reason.’

She frowned at the phone. ‘What? Like I’m some kind of yoga nun? I don’t think there is such a thing.’

Dee heard him swear under his breath then laugh some more. ‘Go right here then the next left.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘I have no idea but it’s not where I thought we were going.’

‘I don’t get it. What’s so funny?’

‘What’s funny is that I’ve spent weeks trying to convince myself it would be morally wrong and kind of sick to seduce a nun.’

Dee almost ran into a parked car.

‘I kept telling myself there was nothing sexy about celibate and then I’d see you and all I could think about was breaking your vows. Go right here.’

They were winding around suburban streets lined with long walls hiding luxurious homes and sprawling apartment blocks. Somewhere close to the harbour, Dee guessed, although she
didn’t really care. She could drive around like this for hours so long as he kept talking like that.

‘Pull over on your left, just past that street light.’

She stopped beside a waist-high sandstone wall that ended in a driveway. ‘Where are we?’

‘My place,’ Ethan said and hung up.

Oh. My. God. Dee felt like one of those glass snow globes that had been turned upside down and shaken. All her possibilities were swirling around and piling up in unexpected places. She opened the door. Ethan was there, taking her hand, pulling her out.

‘Hey, Dee.’ It was a question not a greeting.

She felt as though the air had been squeezed out of her lungs. ‘Hey.’

He walked her backwards until she was against the car, then looked down at her with dark, amused eyes. ‘You
say
you have to go but you kiss like there’s a whole lot more on your mind.’

He cupped her face with his hands, pressed his body to hers and covered her mouth with his – filling her head with a whole lot more possibilities. Her palms traced the hard muscles of his chest and the broad expanse of his back. This was so much better when it was a spectacular beginning instead of an embarrassing end.

A single, strident buzz from her phone went ignored as Ethan followed the line of her jaw with his lips. He found her earlobe, kissed a hot trail along her neck. Lifted the strap of her bra and pushed her blouse aside as he followed the shape of her shoulder with his mouth, found the curve of her breast with his hand. His thumb worked its way slowly across her nipple and she let out a soft moan that turned quickly to a gasp as a car revved around the corner, passing too close.

Ethan held her to him as they both watched it disappear down the street. When he looked down at her again, his eyes were dark and intense.

‘I’m pretty sure you’re not thinking about business now,’ Dee said.

‘Only unfinished business.’ He bent to kiss her, was almost there when a light flashed on across the street and the sound of electronic security gates cracked the night. They laughed quietly, their bodies shuddering gently against each other. With his mouth still suspended above hers, he whispered, ‘This is no place to discuss a merger.’

‘Not at all conducive.’

He pushed himself away, threw the car door wide, passed out her keys, her handbag, her trusty basket. ‘Anything else you need?’

She shook her head, laughing inside like a crazy person.

He held her hand and led her to the apartment block behind the sandstone wall. A tiny voice asked her whether this was the path she wanted to turn down but she could barely hear it and she was already around the corner. As they waited for the lift to open, she had the weirdest jittery feeling, like a kid at a party who’s eaten too many lollies – keyed up and vaguely nauseous at the same time. On the way up, her phone buzzed again.

‘Is it an emergency?’ Ethan asked.

‘No, it’s Leon.’

‘Ring him. Tell him you’re going to be late.’ He pulled her against him, his mouth to her ear. ‘About a week late.’

She keyed Leon’s number but wasn’t sure he’d hear her over the hammering of her heart. ‘Hey, it’s me.’

‘Did you get the last message? Can you pick up more booze on the way? Lindall’s drunk the place dry already.’

There was the sound of laughter as Lindall called out, ‘Hi, Dee.’

‘Something unexpected came up and I’m not going to get there,’ Dee told Leon.

It took a second for him to answer. ‘Oh my God. You’re with Ethan.’

She lowered her voice. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, babe, you’re the only one who thinks it’s unexpected. We all saw how he looked at you tonight.’

Dee eyed Ethan across the lift. ‘You did?’

‘Wait till I tell Lindall you’re a Roxburgh Girl.’

The lift doors opened into an apartment. Dee’s mouth dropped open. ‘My God, it’s huge.’

‘Okay, that’s way too much information,’ Leon said. ‘Call me later.’

Dee took three steps into the room and stopped. It was all timber and black leather, clean lines and shiny surfaces, the kind of view that could bring tears to your eyes. Beyond a wall of glass, Sydney Harbour looked like a dark carpet rolled out to the foot of the Opera House, which glowed white beneath the famous span of the Harbour Bridge. Dee smoothed down her skirt, feeling suddenly untidy and rustic in the minimalist apartment.

‘Do you have to invite loads of people around all the time so you don’t get lonely in here?’ Dee asked.

Ethan smiled as he put her basket by the lift door. It looked like something the cleaner forgot to take out. ‘I’m not home a lot and, when I am, I usually have work to do.’

‘You could fit my entire apartment in this room.’ Dee walked towards the window, trailing a hand across the back of a firm leather sofa, wondering if she should remove her shoes. ‘Breakfast on the deck would be amazing.’

‘I’ll see what I can do.’

‘I didn’t mean I wanted … I meant, for you, it must be amazing for you … with the view and all.’

He laughed softly. ‘I’ll show you around later but, first, how about a drink?’ He opened a cabinet and produced two cut-glass tumblers.

Alcohol would be good. Her hands were shaking and, now that the moment of passion by the car had passed, she felt a little panicky. It was a long time since anyone had touched her without a yoga pose in mind. Her stomach tightened at the memory of his hand on her breast. What was he expecting? Another yoga demonstration? Another kind of girl?

‘Dee?’

Her heart was thumping in her chest, her head span in a riot of anxiety. It wasn’t the best time to try to say something sensible but she opened her mouth anyway. ‘The thing is, I’m feeling kind of nervous right now. I didn’t think about all this. Well, I did, and in quite a bit of detail actually, but I didn’t think it would really
happen
. I mean, if I had, I probably would have worn something more …’ – she waved her hands in front of her body – ‘thrilling, you know, underneath, but it’s just my ordinary old knickers.’ The corner of Ethan’s mouth curled up just a fraction. ‘And I’m sort of worried you might have the wrong impression. About the yoga. It’s not what I … how I …’ Oh dear. ‘I just teach it.’ She slapped a hand to her face.

‘Dee.’

‘And it’s been such a long time since I … since anyone … since the last time, that I …’ She shrugged, not daring to say any more.

‘How long?’ he asked.

‘Eighteen months.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘A year and a half since you …?’

‘Okay, so it’s closer to two years.’

‘You really are a nun.’

‘So it seems.’

‘I think you
need
a drink.’

He smiled, and the sight of it undid the knot of nerves in her belly. Instead of pouring, though, he took off his jacket, undid the top button of his shirt and pulled the tie from under the collar. It was a simple act, probably something he did every night when he came home, but it was enough to melt Dee right down to her sandals. Without the collar and tie, he was just Ethan: tall, generous, accepting and wanting to coax her out of celibacy – not that she’d need coaxing now.

‘Scotch?’ he asked.

She closed the space between them. ‘To be honest, it’s been a really long and crazy day. I’ve been running on adrenalin since six o’clock this morning and my reserve tank is just about empty. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to skip the drink and merger negotiations and just sign the deal.’

His expression was all desire. He kissed her hungrily. She wound her hands around his neck, relishing the taste of him. He pulled her against him. It knocked her off balance. She threw out a hand, bumped over a cut-glass tumbler. He steered her away from the cabinet and collided with a leather chair.

‘Wait,’ she said, breathing hard. ‘Perhaps if you gave me the guided tour we could find somewhere with a few less obstacles.’