Authors: Eve Kingsley
Tags: #Health; Fitness & Dieting, #Psychology & Counseling, #Applied Psychology, #Sexuality, #Medical Books, #Psychology, #Self-Help, #Relationships, #Interpersonal Relations, #Love & Romance, #Marriage, #Counseling & Psychology
We’ve talked about pushing her up against a wall a bit, but let me tell you that this is something you should seriously consider. Women who are into alpha males LOVE this. The only thing you need to remember is that this is in fact a combination of pushing her, and pushing against her, so that you follow her. Otherwise, you’re just slamming her around, and that’s not fun for anyone. Your best bet is to start kissing her away from the wall – strongly, passionately – run your hands down from her shoulders to her upper arms, then grab a hold of her and using your body, push her against the wall and press up against her.
For an added thrill, you can continue to run your hands down to her wrists, then move her hands up the wall and pin her there.
Which leads me to the next physical trick: pinning her down. When she lacks the ability to grab at you, you’ve gained total control. Just remember to do it for short bursts; you don’t want her to panic.
Sexual Assertion
Any anal penetration, even with your finger, is an aggressive move. It’s best done while you’re pleasuring her in other ways, unless you want to dedicate an entire session to anal; in that case, do whatever works best for the two of you.
Going from doggie-style to anal sex can be a way to take it to the next level; just remember to make sure she is relaxed, don’t go in with only one thrust, and don’t go back to vaginal sex.
Making her kiss you after you’ve gone down on her, or having her give you a blowjob after you’ve been inside her, are two huge alpha male tactics.
Delaying her orgasm is another powerful way to show her you’re in charge. Simply get her beyond excited and then stop. Do it over and over again until she is begging you to let her have an orgasm. Even then, let it go one or two more rounds.
Assertion Through Orgasm
Anytime you do something unexpected with your own orgasm, you are demonstrating your control over the situation. Here are some ways to dominate her with semen.
While you’re in the doggie-style position, pull out and come onto her back, either by masturbating or pushing against her ass. For an added touch, massage your semen into her back.
While in the Missionary position, you can pull out and masturbate to orgasm, coming on her pubic hair, her torso, her breasts or even her face. Or, you can straddle her and masturbate to the same effect.
These are two pretty intense examples of male dominance; they really should be tried only after you’ve been experimenting for a bit. Also, once the sex is over you can reinforce the fact that you know it’s a fantasy by helping her clean off your semen, or in the case of it being on her back, clean it up for her. Make sure to do this very gently, and give her a little cuddle afterward.
Whatever you do, don’t just leave her there with your semen all over her unless she has explicitly stated that that is what she wants you to do. Some women like their alpha male fantasy to extend to the moments after the sex has finished, as well, and that’s totally normal. But otherwise, leaving her there takes you from alpha male to asshole in one giant step.
HEIGHTEN THE INTENSITY WITH TOYS AND GAMES
Once you have established this alpha male element to your lovemaking, you can get to a point where the experimentation can be taken to a whole new level. In this section, we’re going to talk about new things you can introduce into your repertoire that can keep things spicy and feeling new and exciting.
Toys
Dildos and vibrators can offer you multiple options for penetrative fun. With a vibrator, there can be lengthy orgasm teasing/denial sessions, for example. There are small vibrators available that can be run over the entire body for extra “tortures” of pleasure.
Combined with dirty talk, he can describe what he’s doing to her and how he feels while he’s penetrating her with a dildo or vibrator. This allows him total control. He is not monitoring his own sexual activity as well, so he can concentrate better, while giving her intense pleasure.
Dildos can be used during oral sex to accompany what he’s doing with his mouth. During intercourse, there can be anal and vaginal action for maximum penetration.
These devices can also be used while he’s making her masturbate, particularly if he has her describe what he’s doing to her while she’s using them. For an added twist, perhaps while she’s away on business, he can have her masturbate while fantasizing about what he’d be doing to her, and then give him a hand job upon her return while she tells him about it.
Of course, household objects can be used as well; wine bottles, the TV remote, carrots and cucumbers can all be converted to instant playthings when the passion strikes! Just make sure they’re clean before inserting into any sensitive areas.
While I don’t want to get into a whole discussion about bondage - as I’ve said before, this is not that kind of book - he can use soft items, like scarves or neckties, to tie her wrists while he goes to town on her body. There can be lengthy teasing sessions, and it can allow him to be a bit gentler to offset the harshness of being bound.
However, this is an activity that is on a more advanced level, and there should be clear boundaries and a time limit agreed upon before the games begin.
If you would like to achieve the intensity of slapping or spanking but the thought of actually doing it makes either one of you uncomfortable, then other, more playful options can be explored. You could use a paper fan, or a linen napkin, or even a dishtowel for the same effect without any bruising or panic.
Blindfolding – again, with a scarf or other soft material – can lend a whole new experience to your lovemaking, and puts the man squarely in the driver’s seat. While she is blindfolded, tease her until she can’t take it anymore! Be as quiet as you can, and don’t let on where you’re going to touch her next.
Games
Role-playing in a sexual context is an entire fetish in and of itself; again, this book is not about that, but I’d like to show you how you can incorporate it into your alpha male scenarios for a bit of fun. Role-playing can also be a great way to break the ice, and can allow each partner to become more involved in the scenario than if they were simply “being themselves.”
Basically, any alpha male/submissive female combination that excites you both is fair game for role-playing. You can have a successful scenario simply choosing roles and talking through them (dirty talk, of course); or you can go whole hog and get costumes and props! It really depends on your comfort level and what makes the alpha male dynamic come more alive for you.
Some popular combinations include:
But really, it’s any combination that floats your boat!
There is an even more intense “game” that can be played, although I would advise it only if both of you are completely honest and in 100 percent agreement about the alpha male scenario. It’s a rape fantasy, and while it’s a very real fetish in the sexual community, rape is also a very real, and very terrible crime about power and control. Proceed with caution.
There is no negotiation on this point – no matter how much of a trusting relationship you have, no matter how much of a milquetoast you are in real life, even if she would swear on a stack of Bibles that she is 100 percent sure you would never hurt her in any way, there is no busting this kind of move without the two of you being in full agreement. This kind of sexual game can not, under any circumstances, be done spontaneously or incorporated on the fly during “typical” alpha male sex.
I’m going to start at the end on this one: After you’ve finished any sex involving a rape fantasy, make sure there is ample time to spend being very gentle, loving and tender toward your partner. It reinforces the fantasy element of what you’ve just done as well as the trust factor in your sexual relationship. It will also help you come out of what can be a very explosive and potentially addictive role for you.
When watching news stories about assault, portrayals in film of sex crimes, or even if a hot handyman comes over to fix the bathroom pipes, don’t be a dick and make a joke referring to her fantasy. I’m sure you wouldn’t dream of it, but I had to put it out there. It’s very important that her fantasy stays in the comfort zone of your trusting, loving relationship and not connected to any real-life, dangerous scenarios.
I’d like to take this opportunity to bring up what we talked about before regarding the safe word – rape fantasies involve your partner saying no, fighting you off or even trying to escape from your grasp. It’s part of the excitement, because these games start with her begging you to stop, and then begging you NOT to stop as she becomes aroused by being penetrated against her will.
So, understandably, you’re not going to actually stop when she says, “Stop” or “No” or even “Ouch, quit it!” That’s why a safe word that has nothing to do with your scenario needs to be agreed upon – as is the fact that you’re to stop immediately and hold her gently, with no judgments.
What you DO want to do is elicit from her exactly what her fantasy entails beforehand, so that you can work together in building up to making it happen. Because force fantasies are pretty on the edge, you’ll want to be experienced in a lot of non-forceful role-playing, depending on what she has in mind.
Again, depending on your woman and her fantasy, this can be quick or slow. Is it being forced to have sex for the first time by a high school love, or is it someone who barges into the house and throws her on the bed? Talk it out before anything is done at all, and let it have time to sink in.
After it’s over and you’ve been tender with her – or whenever the time seems right – ask her what she liked and didn’t like, and how you can improve on it. This will go a long way in reinforcing to her that you understand it was, in fact, just a game.
The most important thing to realize – for the both of you – is that it is perfectly normal for a woman to have a rape fantasy. (In a fantasy, the woman chooses the man, the scenario, the pace, etc. Plus, she has a safe word if she needs to end it at any time.) She is not bad or weird or damaged in any way simply because she has a fantasy about being raped. It’s simply the alpha male desire taken to its logical, if most extreme, end.