Kallen's Atonement (5 page)

Kallen grinned. “Thanks, you won’t regret it.”

“God, I hope not,” Mitchell muttered. “If anything happens to you, Daniel will kick my ass for saying yes in the first place.”

Kallen turned and all but ran back to the infirmary, eager for an update on Drake. When he got back and saw the grim look on Ash’s face, he knew it wasn’t good. All of Kallen’s elation turned to dread in less than a second as his heart skipped a beat…

“Is he alive?” Kallen asked in a thick voice.

“Yes, but they had to put him in a medically induced coma, so he doesn’t thrash around and rip out the stiches. He was pretty tore up inside. They think he’s going to live, though. The next few days will let us know.”

Kallen swallowed hard as he blinked away the tears. Drake had to get better, if for nothing else than so Kallen could tell him that he was sorry for being such an ass to him. Then it would be Kallen who asked Drake out for that cup of coffee instead of the other way around.

Chapter Five

Kallen let out a grunt as he rubbed a hand over his back. Three days of training with Vapor had left him aching in places he didn’t know even existed in his body. Yet Kallen continued to push himself, determined to prove his worth to the feline. That way, Kallen could go out into the field.

Not only was Vapor scary looking with his dark, military cut hair and mass of muscles, but he had to be ten times bigger than Kallen. He wasn’t going easy on Kallen either. He was fighting him full-out and not pulling back any punches.

As Kallen got up from the mat after being tossed down there for the hundredth time that day, Vapor let out a dark laugh. “I have to give it to you, kid, you do have guts.”

“Thanks?” Kallen said, not sure if that was a compliment or not.

Vapor got back into his fighting stance. “You need to stop telegraphing your moves so much. Not that I blame you for that. You were trained that way. It’s something that all Hyenas do. Since you’re one of us now, I’ll teach you better, don’t worry.”

Since you’re one of us now.
That was something that Kallen rarely heard and from one of the coalition soldiers no less. All of a sudden, the aches faded as a sense of pride went through him. Vapor was one of the biggest and baddest warriors out there. Plus, he was part of Mitchell’s inner circle. For him to consider Kallen part of the coalition and not just some dirty Hyena was huge.

They worked out for several more hours before Vapor finally called a halt to the practice. “Go get some food and rest. I think a couple more days of this, and you’ll be more than field ready.”

“Really?” Kallen asked, perking up that was much sooner than he’d anticipated.

Vapor nodded. “You may be small and a bit on the scrawny side, but you are one hell of a fighter.”

Kallen didn’t tell Vapor that was because he often had to fight to protect his misfit pack after they’d all been banned from their various packs. Kallen often wondered about his old friends and worried about how they were doing without him. He hoped that his second, Donald, had stepped forward and was taking care of things. Mitchell had offered them a place within the coalition, but they’d refused, saying they’d make their own way in the world.

“Thanks,” Kallen said.

He grabbed his gear. While he planned on grabbing a shower, there was no way he was going to bed. His next destination was the same that it had been the past three days—the infirmary.

Drake had yet to wake up, but that hadn’t stopped Kallen from spending every free moment he had at the Tiger’s bedside. Especially since he’d learned that Drake didn’t have any living family members to visit him.

Just the thought of Drake, lying there, all alone with nobody to keep him company made Kallen’s heart break.

He took a quick shower in the locker room and dressed in some uniform fatigues since he was now considered a coalition solider and was expected to be ready for battle at all times, even if he was only half-trained. He then grabbed a tray from the cafeteria and made his way to the infirmary.

When he got there, he found that Drake was still out of it. Kallen went to the chair by the bedside and studied the Tiger. At least his color looked better. Gone was the gray pallor, and his breathing seemed steadier. So that was something.

Kallen began to eat, not even really tasting what was going in his mouth. It was pure mechanics at this point. If he hadn’t been reminded by Vapor to eat, he probably wouldn’t have stopped by the cafeteria at all. At the moment, his life consisted of two things only—training and Drake.

Jacyn came over and began to take a set of vitals. Jacyn was Mitchell’s little brother and looked a lot like the leader, having the same speckled brown hair and amber eyes.

“How is he doing?” Kallen asked.

“Much better,” Jacyn said. “Doc is going to take him out of the coma tomorrow. Then we’ll see if he’s ready to shift. After that, it should all be good.”

Jacyn stopped and gave Kallen a concerned look. “When’s the last night you got some good sleep. And by that I mean in a real bed and not in this chair?”

“I’ll sleep once I know he’s awake, and I know for sure he’s okay,” Kallen said.

“I just told you that he’s going to be all right.”

Kallen shook his head, never taking his eyes off Drake. “I need to hear it from him. Does that make sense?”

Jacyn studied him for a second. “I guess it does. I would feel the same way about Logan.”

“I was so mean to him.”

“I’m sure Drake understood. You’ve been through a lot.”

“That doesn’t mean I had the right to be such a jerk to him,” Kallen said.

“Maybe not, but you’ve been given a second chance. So you have to decide what you’re going to do with it,” Jacyn replied softly.

Kallen gave a dry laugh. “Since when did you get so smart?”

“I’ve always been this wise, but you just chose never to listen to me.” Jacyn smirked.

“No, you’ve just always been a smartass,” Kallen corrected.

“Well, that, too, but it comes from living with Carson. It kind of rubs off on me.”

“I can see that happening.”

Jacyn smiled before growing sober again. “Seriously, though. You need to take care of yourself better. You’re not doing anybody any good by burning yourself out this way.”

“You’d be amazed at how much I can take before I crash.”

Jacyn pulled up a chair. “You had it pretty rough before you came here, didn’t you?”

“You have no idea. First, I got banned from my pack because I refused to go along with their plan to attack humans, then I found myself the leader of a pack of strays. A pack that had no place to call home, no money, no food…nothing.”

“Yet, you managed to survive.”

Kallen snorted. “Barely. And not exactly by staying on the legal side of things. Besides, you saw the condition we were in when we first came here. Would you call that surviving?”

“You may have all been on the thin side, but at least you were all alive. That says something in this world,” Jacyn pointed out. “Usually, the weak are picked off right away. You managed to keep your pack alive. That shows a lot about you.”

“It says that I know how to fight dirty if I have to,” Kallen said, feeling sick to his stomach as he recalled some of the things he’d done in the past in order to keep his pack safe and fed. How he’d almost betrayed Gage in the worst way possible.

“We all do what we have to in order to survive. I’m sure even Mitchell has regrets.”

“You think so?” Kallen glanced up at Jacyn.

“I
know
so,” Jacyn replied with dead on certainty.

“No offense to your brother, but I like being a follower much better than a leader.”

Jacyn nodded. “Me, too. I’ve seen him up and pacing too many nights.”

While it really shouldn’t have, it gave Kallen some comfort to know that he wasn’t the only one who had struggled with the heavy mantle of leadership. It made him feel less of a failure.

“Do you ever wish that you had been born human?” Kallen asked.

“Nearly every day,” Jacyn admitted. “Then I remind myself that I would have never met Logan, and that wish goes away.”

Almost on its own accord, Kallen’s gaze fell back to Drake. Would he exchange everything bad he’d gone through, even if it meant never meeting Drake? The answer came through loud and clear…no. In the short amount of time that Kallen had gotten to know the Tiger, Drake had begun to mean a lot to Kallen. So much so that Kallen would do anything for Drake. Even if it meant staying with the coalition and going through all the shit that went along with it.

“He means a lot to you, doesn’t he?” Jacyn asked.

“I think he does,” Kallen answered.

Kallen reached out and tentatively ran his finger over Drake’s cheek. There was more than a little bit of stubble there, and the touch sent jolts of electricity up Kallen’s arm. It then came to him that this was the first time that he’d ever initiated any contact between the two of them, and Drake wasn’t even awake to witness it. How sad.

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to go back to your quarters to get some sleep?” Jacyn urged.

Kallen shook his head. “Not until Drake wakes up.”

“Gage is really worried about you.”

“I know he is.”

It felt good to have somebody that finally gave a damn about him, too, but that didn’t mean that Kallen was going to change his mind. The only time he was going to leave Drake’s side was when he was training, and that was that. Everybody would just have to get used to it.

Jacyn finally let out a sigh. “Okay, if you need anything, just ask me. I’m working for a few more hours.”

“Thanks, and I mean for everything.”

Jacyn gave Kallen’s arm a squeeze before finally moving on. Once alone, Kallen grabbed a hold of Drake’s hand and rested his forehead on the bed. He just needed to close his eyes for a few minutes. That’s all. Just for a second or two.

* * * *

The first thing Drake grew aware of as he became alert was that his chest hurt like hell. The second was that somebody was holding his hand. The third was the scent in the air told him it was…Kallen?

Cracking open his lids, Drake saw for himself that it wasn’t a dream. Kallen was sitting next to him in a chair. He was slumped over, his head resting on the bed, fast asleep. For some odd reason, the Hyena was dressed in uniform fatigues, and he was indeed holding Drake’s hand.

Drake shifted a bit and let out a moan as pain lanced through his body. Kallen jerked awake. It was then that Drake noted the dark rings under Kallen’s eyes. It looked as if he hadn’t slept in days.

“You’re finally awake,” Kallen rasped, a smile breaking out over his face.

It was the most beautiful sight Drake had ever seen. So much so that for a moment, he almost forgot how to speak.

Then he gave a slight shake of his head and asked, “What happened?”

“You were attacked by a Raven during your last mission,” Kallen said.

Then it all began to come back to Drake in bits and pieces. Him on the ground, the Raven ripping into him. Ash dragging him to safety. Them rushing him to the OR.

“You almost died on me,” Kallen accused softly.

“Sorry about that.”

Drake became acutely aware that they were still holding hands, just as he was aware that it was obvious that Kallen had been sitting by his bedside waiting for him to wake up. Was it possible that the Hyena gave a damn about him after all?

“Don’t ever do that again,” Kallen ordered. “In case you didn’t notice, I don’t have very many friends around here. I want to keep the few that I have.”

Drake wanted to ask if Kallen went around holding the hands of all of his other friends, but he didn’t want to push things. Especially since it felt so nice to have Kallen’s fingers interlaced with his. So much so that it almost made the pain in his chest go away.

Jacyn came over, breaking up the mood. “You’re awake. Good. How are you feeling?”

“Like a Raven tried to rip my spine out through the front of me,” Drake said.

Kallen sat back, pulling his hand away. It was all Drake could do not to reach out to take it back. He felt like a child being denied a cookie.

“We’ll see about getting you something for that pain,” Jacyn assured him as he took Drake’s vitals.

After Jacyn left, Drake once again noted that Kallen was wearing a soldier’s uniform instead of his usual scrubs.

“What’s up with the wardrobe change?” he asked.

When Kallen took a deep breath, Drake knew he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“I’m training to go out into the field. Vapor says I should be ready to go out in a few days,” Kallen said.

Panic flooded Drake. Kallen out in the field? Were they crazy? He’d be a walking target.

“Have they lost their ever-flipping minds? What in the hell are they thinking by ordering you to go out into the field?” Drake all but yelled.

Kallen put a hand on Drake’s arm. “Calm down. They didn’t order me to do anything. It was my idea.”

Drake paused as he blinked at Kallen in shock. “Are you suicidal or something? You have to know that every Raven and Hyena out there will see you as a traitor and be gunning for you.”

“I’m very well of that fact. Gage reminds me of it at least twenty times a day.”

“Then why are you doing it?”

Kallen blinked rapidly a few times, before he gave a deep sigh and seemed to compose himself. “When I was out there leading my pack, I did some pretty bad things…illegal things. I didn’t hurt anybody, but I got close to it. I almost betrayed the coalition by giving the Ravens the names of the Lost Shifters. If I had done that, think of how many innocents would have been killed, and all because of me. I have to make it up to them somehow, and this is the only way I can think of.”

Drake shook his head. He could see where Kallen was coming from, but he still didn’t like it. “But you work here every day. Isn’t that enough?”

“No, it’s not. I have to go out and really fight for them. To show them that I’m willing to put my neck on the line for them. Can’t you understand that?”

The sad thing was, Drake could, and he couldn’t think of a good argument against it. He closed his eyes and let out a silent prayer to whatever god that was listening that they would keep Kallen safe, because he’d already suffered enough. He didn’t need to shed any more blood for the cause. At least not in Drake’s opinion.