Katie Opens Her Heart (12 page)

As she walked through the kitchen, a knock sounded on the front door. Emma quickly shoved the hamper underneath the kitchen table before going to answer the door. She paused at the window and noticed a familiar buggy in the driveway. Jesse’s buggy. What nerve the man had, coming around again after she’d firmly sent him on his way last time.

When she opened the door, she was met with a broad smile and a hearty, “
Gut
morning! How are you today, Emma?”

If he only knew!
Emma thought. But then again, it was none of his business. No doubt Jesse had all five of his children under control. He would probably scorn her efforts if he knew the problems she was having with Katie.

“We’re doing okay.” Emma knew her voice was tense, but the man had no reason to barge in on her like this.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Jesse was still smiling. “The vet stopped by my place late last night. Some of my cows have mastitis problems so I’ve been working with him. He told me about your bloated cow. I thought I’d stop by after chores this morning to see how you’re doing with her.”

“We’re doing okay,” Emma repeated, not moving away from the door or inviting the man in. If he thought he was going to weasel his way into her heart by offering to help with her farm troubles, he had another guess coming.

Jesse seemed unfazed by the look on her face. “Do you mind if I take a look at her? Perhaps there’s some way I can help.”

“I think Molly’s fine,” Emma said. “Katie and I walked her last evening and again very early this morning. She seems much better.”

“Is Molly your smaller cow?”

He is a stubborn man
, Emma thought.
I have to get rid of him somehow
. If answering his questions sends him on down the road faster, then she would do so.

“
Yah
. I have a load of wash going in the basement right now, so I really have to get back to it.”

“I’ll take a look at your cow then.” Jesse gave her a bright smile. He didn’t wait for an answer before turning and walking across the yard toward the barn.

Emma watched him go with her mouth open. The gall of the man! If this went on, he would be setting the wedding date with the bishop whether she agreed to it or not. Well, that was not going to happen! Not in a hundred years of him making trips over to take care of her farm or her animals. Emma almost hollered after him to stop, but instead she picked up the hamper and continued down to the basement.

When the first load had finished, Emma peeked over the basement steps to see if Jesse was still around. If he was, she’d make a quick dash for the wash line by going around the back of the house.

But his buggy was gone.

Jesse must not have found anything wrong with Molly so everything was okay. Emma caught herself just before heaving a huge sigh of relief. She pushed the feeling away. That was exactly the reaction Jesse was trying to stir in her heart. She would not be tricked. Molly was fine before he arrived, and Molly was certainly no better off after he left.

Katie and she would make it through this hard time together. They had to. They only had each other in this harsh world.

It was then that Emma paused, hearing Katie’s voice echo in her mind. The sound came clear as a bell, “You act like Jesse committed a sin for wanting you as his
frau
.”

“I do not,” Emma said out loud. And yet it was true. She knew it was true.

Katie’s voice came again in Emma’s mind, stronger this time, only it wasn’t Katie any longer, it was as if Ezra was speaking.

“You could have more. Jesse Mast is offering you a whole lot more. You could be a
mamm
to more children who need you. You’re not that old. You might even have another baby in the house, not to mention the five children Jesse already has.”

Emma caught her breath. She wasn’t dreaming, not hearing things. Katie had said those very words not that long ago. But now she could hear Ezra saying them. And
yah
, he would say them.

Had she been wrong then? Would Ezra approve of Katie’s plans tonight? Not likely, but then neither would Ezra approve of what she had become.

Emma sat on the basement steps and covered her face with her hands.

Chapter Fourteen

Jesse brought his horse to a stop near the barn after driving home from Emma’s place in a great rush. As he climbed out of the buggy, he saw Mabel running toward him. Her face had a worried look.

“Is something wrong?” he asked as she approached and gasped for breath.

“Joel is still not off to school,” Mabel said. She paused to catch another breath. “He wouldn’t put on a clean pair of pants, and I wouldn’t let him go wearing his dirty ones from yesterday.”

“Oh my…” Jesse allowed a smile to spread over his face. “Are you sure they were really that dirty?” This wasn’t as bad as he feared. But then Mabel was that way sometimes—easily overwrought.

“
Daett!
” Mabel protested. “They had grass stains all over them. Joel doesn’t know how to stay clean when he plays prisoner’s base with his friends. I couldn’t let him go out of the house looking like that.”

“Okay, okay.” Jesse tied Lucy to the hitching post. “Let’s go into the house. I’ll talk to him. But tell me what happened. Joel seemed ready to leave for school when I saw him at breakfast.”

“That’s because he only acts stubborn when I’m alone with him,” Mabel said. “Now there’s going to be a scene at school when he arrives late. Can Joel stay home today? That would be better than Ruth thinking I can’t take care of him.”

“Now, now…” Jesse placed his hand on Mabel’s shoulder. “It’s not right that you make all these decisions on your own. You’re still young yourself without having to take care of your brothers and sisters like
Mamm
would.”

“Don’t pity me,
Daett
,” Mabel said. “Just whip Joel’s behind
gut
, and perhaps he’ll listen the next time I tell him what to wear.”

Jesse almost laughed but held back. The vengeance in Mabel’s voice wasn’t
gut
. And it really wasn’t funny, he supposed. Mabel was right. He too had noticed that Joel only acted up under her authority. The boy knew weakness when he saw it—as most children his age did. What Joel needed was a
mamm
—and rather quickly from the looks of things. Maybe the boy also needed a couple whacks on the behind. If nothing else, it would alleviate Mabel’s despair.

When they walked into the house, Joel was sitting on the couch kicking his feet. Mabel marched up and glared at him. “See,
Daett
? Aren’t those awfully dirty pants? They aren’t fit for barn work, let alone for school.”

“They’re not that dirty!” Joel protested. “They’re nice and clean.”

“You should listen to your sister,” Jesse said. “Especially when I’m not around. Mabel knows much more about clean clothes than you do. Now get up to your room and change. I’ll be taking you to school when you’re ready.”

Joel hung his head and marched upstairs, obviously unhappy over this outcome.

His pants
were
dirty, Jesse noted, but he had to admit that he wouldn’t have noticed or cared if Mabel hadn’t pointed it out.

“You should have smacked his backside
gut
,” Mabel muttered at Joel’s retreating back. “I’m going to next time myself.”

“
Nee
, Mabel,” Jesse said. He repeated his standing instructions that Mabel wasn’t to discipline her siblings. Having her spank the younger children was a bridge he didn’t wish to cross.

“He doesn’t get spanked enough,” Mabel asserted. “He saves all his misbehaving for when you aren’t around.”

Mabel was probably right, Jesse figured. Children were that way. They caught on quickly regarding when they could get away with things.

“I’ll talk with him on the way to school,” Jesse said.

Mabel nodded and retreated to the kitchen.

Jesse looked out the window toward the back fields while he waited for Joel to come back downstairs. Leroy was busy cutting the hay pasture, and Willis was spreading manure. He should be helping with both projects, he thought. Instead he was playing
mamm
right now and suitor less than an hour ago at Emma Raber’s place. Everything seemed to be turned upside down since Millie had passed. And he hadn’t gotten them turned right side up again.

“Please help me, dear
Hah
,” he whispered. He heard the sound of Joel’s footsteps approaching and walked over to open the stair door. He took a quick look at what Joel was wearing.

“They’re clean!” Joel announced, his face beaming. “They’re the cleanest ones I have.”

“He has lots of clean ones!” Mabel hollered from the kitchen. “Don’t let him start blaming me for his naughtiness.”

“No one is blaming you,” Jesse responded as he paused at the kitchen door. “You do much better than anyone else could hope to do, Mabel.”

His daughter didn’t turn around to look at him. Her hands were deep in the soapy dishwater.

Jesse hesitated. Mabel was obviously troubled about something since she didn’t at least look up. But what was he supposed to do? He guessed he should ask her what was wrong. He walked up to her and slipped an arm around her thin shoulders. “I’m sorry for the load our situation is placing on you,” he said. “I really do think you’re doing a great job.”

She looked up at him, her eyes sorrowful. “You went to see that woman again this morning, didn’t you?”

“
Yah
. But it’s not ‘that woman,’ Mabel. Her name is Emma.”

Mabel rinsed the dish in her hand. “I wish you wouldn’t see her,
Daett
. But I guess what happened with Joel this morning will make you want to marry her even sooner.”

“Mabel, listen to me,” Jesse said, his hand now on her shoulder. “You’re not responsible for this household of children. You’re still young yourself. You’re only sixteen years old! It’s time you go with Leroy and Willis to the young folk gatherings. You’re taking way too much responsibility on yourself.”

“I’ll gladly take all the responsibility on my shoulders if you don’t marry that woman,” Mabel said. “Emma’s weird, and so is her daughter. I don’t want a
mamm
like that or a sister like Katie.”

Jesse took a deep breath. After the discussion with the children the other night, he had no stomach for more arguments. There should be a
mamm
here to deal with these things. If Mabel didn’t begin attending the young folk gatherings, to say nothing of going through
rumspringa
, she would be considered strange herself. He didn’t want his daughter to be stuck with such a label. She was a wonderful girl, and the misfortunes of his life shouldn’t take such a toll on her or the other children.

“Please,
Hah
,” he whispered.

“What did you say?” Mabel asked as she looked up at him.

Jesse ignored the question. “This thing with Emma is not what you think. I want you to have as normal a life as possible. I want you to be able to be young as long as possible.”

“My life is just fine,” she said.

“Mabel, look at me.” He waited until she glanced up. “I can’t explain things to you like your
mamm
did, but you’re taking way too much on yourself. And it’s not because you’re not
gut
enough or doing a
gut
job. It’s because you’re not ready for such heavy responsibilities.
Yah
, you will be someday, especially when
Da Hah
gives you a husband and a family of your own. But until then, you shouldn’t have to carry the full load of a family, even if they are your brothers and sisters.”

Mabel’s eyes looked pleadingly at him. “Don’t marry that woman,
Daett
. Please? Will you promise?”

“Mabel, I can’t do that.” His voice was firm. “I believe
Da Hah
is in charge of this.” Emma was on his mind, and he couldn’t seem to let go of her. In the days ahead he would sort this all out. He would ask
Da Hah
for more wisdom to understand what he was to do. For now, he would continue what he was doing. He gave Mabel a quick hug, took Joel’s hand, and went outside. Lucy stood beside the hitching rack, looking at him as if she didn’t understand why she hadn’t been unhitched by now.

Jesse swung Joel up into the front seat, untied Lucy, and climbed into the buggy. Pulling the reins tight, Jesse signaled to Lucy to get going. She shook her head as he guided her to the main road.

The schoolhouse lay a half mile away, well within walking distance. But it was a little too far for Joel to walk when he was already late. No doubt Jesse would cause a disturbance pulling in like this after school had begun, but that was better than leaving Joel home all day. Skipping school could get Joel’s six-year-old mind to thinking he should try the same stunt tomorrow.

“Listen,” he told Joel, “you’re going to start obeying Mabel when she tells you to do something. I can’t always be at home, I know Mabel is not
Mamm
, but she’s doing the best she can to take care of us.”

Joel wrinkled his face.

“
Yah
,” Jesse continued. “All children have to obey. And sometimes they have to obey their sisters even when they have a
mamm
.”