Katie Opens Her Heart (15 page)

Mamm
shook her head. “Don’t blame this on
Da Hah
, Katie. None of those things will be what you think they are once you get them. I’ve been there. I know.”

Katie heard tires crunching on the gravel driveway.

Mamm
looked up.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” Katie headed for the door.

Mamm
’s voice pleaded behind her. “What do you think I should do, Katie? What would keep you away from the Mennonites?”

Katie paused and turned around. “I’m not asking you to do anything,
Mamm
. Don’t stay up for me. I’ll be okay.”

“Do you want me to marry Jesse?”
Mamm
had tears on her cheeks again. “Would that keep you here with me?”

Katie paused, her hand on the doorknob. What should she say to a question like that? She would love it if
Mamm
married Jesse. But if
Mamm
did this only to please her, that would be wrong for everyone. And she might still end up being known only as the odd widow Emma Raber’s weird daughter.

“Don’t go out tonight, Katie. Not before we’ve had a chance to talk some more about this.”

Katie choked back a sob. If she waited one minute longer, she would explode into tears. “
Nee
, marrying Jesse when you don’t love him won’t solve anything. I’ve got to go,
Mamm
.” Katie opened the front door and rushed down the steps.

What was she doing? Katie wondered. Was she closing a door that could never be opened again? She ran across the yard toward Esther’s dark-blue car. She would keep trusting
Da Hah
even though the waters were rough right now. She’d known they would be. Through the sheen of her tears, Esther’s car was a blur. Katie groped for the door handle.

“Hi there!” Esther said when Katie opened the door.

“
Gut
evening.” Katie slid in, trying to hide her wet face.

“Troubles?” Esther asked as she started the car.

“
Mamm
didn’t want me to go tonight.”
That was putting it mildly
, Katie thought. But there was no need for Esther to know the whole story.

“Oh, she’ll get over it,” Esther said, as if she knew about it from experience.

Katie’s smile was strained. She decided to talk about something else, if for no other reason then to make this awful ache in her heart go away.

“We’ll have you cheered up in no time,” Esther said, gunning her car out of the driveway with a loud roar. Katie winced, thinking of
Mamm
’s reaction to the noise.

“Don’t worry,” Esther continued. “It will all be good. I see you’ve worn your Sunday dress.”

Katie nodded.

“You wouldn’t have had to,” Esther said. “Any old thing would have been good enough for tonight. It’s just a little shindig with some of Roy’s friends. But better overdressed than underdressed, that’s what I always say.”

“I didn’t know what to wear.” Katie tried to keep fear from racing through her. Was she going to stand out this evening? That was all she needed on top of everything else.

Esther leaned toward Katie as they raced down the road. “Roy did check with me an hour ago to see if you were coming for sure.”

“Oh…” Katie looked away. What did that mean? She didn’t dare ask. Thankfully, Esther didn’t seem to notice her discomfort. Getting teased about a boy would be one trial too much at the moment.

“Yes, it’s going to be a grand evening.” Esther chattered away. “A happy time among friends who accept you. That’s one of the nice things about these parties. You get to see lots of people and still have time to speak with the ones you haven’t seen for some time.”

“I see,” Katie allowed. She hung on to the armrest as Esther took a tight curve. Esther had always taken off from Byler’s like she was shooting for the moon, and now Katie was experiencing what it was like to be inside a rocket.

“Are you okay?” Esther asked, taking another curve without slowing down much.

Katie forced herself to smile. There was no sense in admitting she was scared, even if she’d never ridden this fast in an
Englisha
automobile before.

“We’ll be there before long,” Esther told her, as if that were the concern. “Roy’s place is just on the other side of Dover a bit.”

Katie hung on as they approached Byler’s. Someone in a buggy was coming out of the driveway, but Katie couldn’t make out the face as they sped by. It was just as well. This way he or she couldn’t figure out who she was either.

“So what do you and your mom do since you live by yourselves?” Esther asked, slowing down as they approached the town limits.

“Not much…just the usual.”

“Is your mom thinking of marrying again?”

Katie stole a sideways glance at Esther and noticed a twinkle in her eye. Did Esther know about Jesse? Surely not. Such a thing couldn’t have come out this quickly. Not with the few visits Jesse had made to call on
Mamm
. And how would it get to the Mennonite circle?

“I wish she would,” Katie finally said. That was a safe enough answer, she figured, and perhaps Esther wouldn’t dig deeper.

“It must get lonely living by yourselves,” Esther said, and she sounded sympathetic. “Do you have family who lives in the area? I mean…you must have…”

“Mom’s brothers all live in Lancaster,” Katie said. “And we don’t get up there often.”

The truth was they hadn’t been up there in five years or so, but Esther didn’t need to know that.

“And your dad’s side of the family? They come from around here, don’t they?”

“
Yah
,” Katie admitted. “And we get together sometimes. The Rabers had a reunion here in the Dover community this spring that we attended.”

“That’s nice.” Esther slowed down even further as they encountered traffic lights. A few minutes later, she turned the car down a driveway of a well-kept farm.

Katie was still holding on to the armrest as Esther pulled to a stop by one of the huge, red barns. A long row of cars were already parked, but there were no signs of any young people.

“Here we are!” Esther announced, opening her car door. “Let’s go inside and see where everyone is.”

A shiver ran through Katie. How was the evening going to turn out? Was she going to enjoy herself? Would she get a glimpse of what she could be like in a world where she wasn’t looked down upon or disparaged? Katie held her breath for a moment, and then she climbed out of Esther’s car. That was a lot to expect or even hope for, she told herself. Yet why couldn’t it happen? A few weeks ago, who would have dreamed she’d even attend a Mennonite youth gathering?

Chapter Eighteen

Katie heard the murmur of voices growing louder as she and Esther approached the barn. The party was in progress. In the mix of the sounds rose occasional peals of laughter.

Two more cars pulled in and parked by Esther’s car. Esther waved to the newcomers and went on into the barn. Katie reluctantly followed her, still not knowing what to expect from the evening.

Once inside, Katie caught her breath as she took in the sight of dozens of young people her age gathered by tables. Some of them were seated while others were standing around. A few glanced toward Katie and Esther. Katie didn’t move until Esther pulled her arm. “Come on! Let’s go see Roy. He’ll be glad to know you’re here.”

Katie allowed Esther to lead her forward. At least her feet were working now. Among the crowd she saw a lone Amish face she knew. Emery Yoder was staring at her with a puzzled look on his face. He was from a district closer to Dover and rarely was at the few Amish youth gatherings Katie attended. He was having a hard time figuring out why an Amish girl was being escorted into the birthday party by a high-flying Mennonite like Esther. Well, Emory would just have to wonder. Katie wasn’t going to stop and enlighten him. She tried to keep breathing as Esther pushed through a small group of young folks who nodded to them. They broke through to the other side, and Esther came to a stop before a young man who was apparently Roy. He had his back turned to them and was deep in conversation with several people.

Katie hoped no one could hear the loud beating of her heart.

Esther tapped Roy on his shoulder.

He turned around, a broad smile on his face. “Well, who have we here?” Roy teased, holding out his hand to Katie.

Katie tried to still her trembling as she took his hand.

“Katie Raber,” Esther said before Katie could answer. “I invited her like you said, and here we are.”

“I’m glad you could come, Katie,” Roy said. “You’re just in time. We have some games planned first, and then we’ll eat cake and ice cream later. That’s what Esther is looking forward to.”

“I am not.” Esther slapped Roy’s arm. “You make me sound like a spoiled child.”

Roy laughed and turned back to Katie. “Here, let me introduce you to some of the others. Over here is Harold Kargel, of local fame for his volleyball spikes, and his sister Margaret who is almost as good.”

Roy was summoned to the kitchen just as Katie got out a “Hi” to the two youth.

“I’m glad you could come,” Margaret said. “You work with Esther at Byler’s, right?”

“
Yah
,” Katie replied.

“Do you live in the Amish community near there?”

“
Yah
,” Katie repeated.

“Why don’t you ever stop in at Byler’s for lunch, Harold?” Esther asked, punching him lightly in the ribs. “Are we too lowbrow for your high standards or what?”

“Maybe I like my mother’s sandwiches for lunch,” Harold said. “Besides, they’re cheaper than Byler’s.”

“I could fix you up with the most scrumptious meat sandwich with your choice of cheese,” Esther said. “Add coleslaw and pork and beans, and it can’t be beat.”

Harold laughed. “Maybe I just don’t want to see you.”

Esther made a face at him before smiling. The others joined in the laughter.

“Come on,” Margaret whispered in Katie’s ear. “Let me show you around since Esther has the boys entertained.”

“If that’s okay with Esther,” Katie replied, glancing in Esther’s direction. “She brought me.”

“Esther doesn’t care,” Margaret assured her, leading Katie away. “Is this your first young folks gathering with us? It must be because I haven’t seen you before.”

“
Yah
. Roy invited me through Esther. He saw me working at Byler’s.”

“We don’t have that large a group compared to your Amish community,” Margaret said. “We’re always glad when someone new shows up.”

Katie opened her mouth to say that she was the one who was really thankful that Margaret was being so nice to her. But her new friend was already introducing her to another girl so the words died in her mouth.

“Katie, this is Sharon Watson,” Margaret was saying. “She’s a good friend of mine and a darling at making quilts. She and her mom can outwork even our experienced women without even trying.”

“Now that’s not a nice thing to say,” Sharon countered, offering Katie a smile. “Don’t pay any attention to what Margaret tells you. She exaggerates.”

“You know it’s true,” Margaret shot back. “All the two of you have is that little sign out in the front yard, and you sell quilts faster than you can make them.”

Katie stared at Sharon. Did she also live alone with her
mamm
? Sharon looked perfectly normal, so perhaps a mother and daughter could make it alone. Did she dare ask whether Sharon’s
daett
had passed away?

“So what brings you here tonight, Katie?” Sharon asked.

“Roy invited me through Esther,” Katie said. “Because… well…he comes through Byler’s once in awhile, which is where Esther and I work.”

“That’s wonderful,” Sharon said. “I hope you feel very welcome here.”

“Thanks,” Katie said, glancing at the floor.

They were being so nice. Was it put on or did they really mean it? Perhaps they gave a special welcome to all visitors? A welcome that would soon be taken away once they really knew her. But could that possibly be true? These girls seemed much too nice for that.

Margaret touched Katie’s arm as the flow of young people moved toward the back of the barn. “It looks like everyone’s moving out to the other barn to play volleyball. Shall we join them?”

“I love to play volleyball!” Sharon exclaimed. “What about you, Katie?”

“
Yah
, of course,” Katie said as she followed the two girls through the back door and into an even larger barn where the ceiling went so high Katie had to put her head way back to see the top.

Cobwebs hung high in the air, lit up by bright lights from a string of electric flood lamps attached along the walls. Katie shivered as the thought of
Mamm
flashed through her mind. It must be dark outside by now, and
Mamm
would be waiting by the kitchen table or looking out the living room window wondering what she was doing. And here she was at a Mennonite gathering with electric lights hanging from the ceiling.
Mamm
would be so horrified she’d pass out. Katie pushed the thoughts away and turned her attention back to the two girls. She was determined to enjoy every minute of her time with them, even if it turned out they were only nice to newcomers.